Being upset

If You Get Upset Try Saying Yes!
an excerpt from Practical Enlightenment
by Ariel & Shya Kane

People often erroneously think that once they wakeup, transform, have an enlightening event or series of events that they will never get upset again. There is also a misconception that years of looking at your life buys you something and that you should have permanent relief from getting disturbed.

Getting upset is not a failing, but to the mind that wishes to “get somewhere,” the mind that wishes to achieve enlightenment, it is.

Have you ever said to yourself:

I thought I was over that already
I don’t like being upset
I hate this
I don’t wanna be upset

Those thoughts are all about resisting this moment of now and being a No to how your life is showing up.

Most of us have the idea that enlightenment and transformation will save us from the domination of our lives. We think that if we become enlightened we’ll have power over sickness, fatigue and getting upset. So we strive to calm our minds, quiet the voice in our heads and gain control over our environment.

Here is the good news and the bad news: You have no control over how life shows up. It’s bad news if you’re trying to be in control because life doesn’t really care what you want. The good news is that you can discover how to be a Yes to how your life is unfolding in the moment and then miraculously, disturbing forces cease to disturb. The paradox is that you have no control, yet when you are a Yes to your life, you have ultimate control because what is happening becomes your choice. But you can’t do being a Yes in order to be in control. In other words, if you pretend to be a Yes but really are attempting to change the circumstances to meet your preferences or if you manipulate yourself or others to get what you want, then you are actually being a No in disguise.

We all have the idea that when we get enlightened, we will no longer be affected by circumstances and our current environment, that we will somehow be independent of the culture of which we are a part. Yet, our environment affects us. We feel other people’s disturbances and if we resist them, we become what we resist: disturbed.

It is likely that you are reading this book, in part, hoping to stop getting upset and being disturbed. But you can still be triggered, especially if you resist something. When you resist something like a body sensation, a thought, or an unwanted emotion, you push against it. Once you resist something, you become what you resist. With awareness, you can train yourself to be a Yes to this moment, however it is showing up. This includes being a Yes to your upset if you feel disturbed. Being upset is not a failure. You can simply notice it and move on. Simply seeing that you are upset without judging yourself is enough for it to dissolve.


Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on

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