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This blog is provided by Mark Given, Founder of the Trust Based Philosophy. It is a companion to his interview on Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future titled Success Begins with Trust that aired on June 22nd, 2020.
In leadership, sales, relationships and in all aspects of life, success and happiness has always been built on a foundation of TRUST.
You already know that to find fulfillment, people need a life-long quest for growth and learning.
Building, maintaining, and repairing Trust are all key parts of that growth and the evidence often slaps us right in the face…nearly every day.
People (maybe even you) leave companies every day, not just because of poor products or unsafe conditions, but because of lousy untrustworthy leadership. Customer trust is regularly so low that repeat rates are consistently and dismally small. Even in human relationships lack of trust is painfully evident and cities everywhere are experiencing riots in the streets.
The concept of TRUST has been taught by many well respected and admired authors, philosophers, psychiatrists, and business experts for years. What’s lacking in their reports though is the actual science practice of establishing, building and maintaining trust.
Having been focused on the study and practice of trust for nearly four decades, I discovered what I believe to be the essence of how to build and maintain deeper levels of Trust.
I call it the Pyramid of Trust:
- Introduction Facet or your Grand Opening phase
- Rapport Facet – or the question and listening phase
- Maintenance Facet – or generously giving not taking phase
- Repair Facet – or the sincere and transparent apology phase
Speaking of the Introduction Facet, research from a recent 15-year Harvard University study showed that if adults assume their ability to discern trustworthiness in strangers is a skill honed over a lifetime, they are wrong. Even children ages 5 and 6 make the very nearly the same judgment about the trustworthiness of adults, and children ages 3 to 4 were only off by just a few percentage points from adults.
People make inferences (right or wrong) about strangers’ characters within 50 milliseconds of viewing them and a NYU study showed the results to be even less (33 milliseconds). In today’s words, we call that profiling, and while they are profiling you, YOU are profiling them too!
You can improve this negative impression someone might have of you in part by moving from a two-step greeting to a three-step greeting, making your initial introduction more about the other person than yourself. The key is to move your dialogue from the emphasis on YOU to focusing on THEM, and the results have been shown to be quite amazing.
In the Building Rapport Facet, a smart person will learn to ask more questions and really listen to the answers. Recently, in an interview Jack Canfield did with me on my Trust Based Philosophy books, Jack offered a wise thought. He said, “focus on becoming more interested than interesting”. Jack is exactly right (and he wisely gave the credit for this wisdom to his wife Inga).
The benefit is three-step greeting principle is that, when done properly, you learn much more about the other person which allows you purpose driven reasons to massage the relationship, stay in touch and serve them better (assuming they are a good match for you personally and professionally).
To succeed in the Maintenance Facet, you focus on becoming more of a giver than a taker. Read the wonderful book The Go-Giver by my friends Bob Burg and John David Mann and you will better understand the importance, relevance and success that come from being a giver. Building TRUST is maintained over a lifetime. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
And finally, assuming you are actually human…we all make mistakes. We say and do foolish things. Understanding the proper art and science of the Apology Facet is life and business changing.
You already know how hard it can be to effectively and successfully apologize and yet you also know how important it is to your happiness, profitability, and the growth of Trust.
Creating a successful life and business is hard. Maintaining valuable relationships is difficult.
The results of better understanding, creating, and maintaining deeper levels of TRUST are what will bring you the joy and success you are seeking.
Become a master of “The TRUST Based Philosophy” and life will be your oyster. I guarantee it!
Check out the companion interview and past episodes of Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future, via iTunes, Google Play, TuneIn, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRADIO. Stay up-to-date on new shows airing by following the Innovative Leadership Institute LinkedIn.
About the Author
Mark Given is an Amazon #1 selling author of 8 books and has been teaching the importance of TRUST for four decades.
Because of his observation and experience both personally and professionally, he has written four top selling books under the theme The Trust Based Philosophy.
Trust Based Leadership – Proven Ways to Stop Managing and Start Leading
Trust Based Selling – Proven Ways to Stop Selling and Start Attracting
Trust Based Success – Proven Ways to Stop Stressing and Start Living
Trust Based Networking – Proven Ways to Stop Meeting and Start Connecting
Trust Based Time Management – Proven Ways to Stop Dawdling and Start Achieving
Trust Based Entrepreneur – Proven Ways to Make the Money YOU Want without Forfeiting the Time that YOU Crave
Trust Based Referrals – Proven Ways to Stop Chasing Strangers and Start Captivating YOUR Sphere of Influence
You can reach Mark at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Photo by LisaAttractLove–2628503