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The Half Of It * Beautiful Story About Love, Friendship And Longing

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Movie Reviews
The Half Of It * Beautiful Story About Love, Friendship And Longing

When smart but cash-strapped teen Ellie Chu agrees to write a love letter for a jock, she doesn’t expect to become his friend – or fall for his crush. KIDS FIRST! Film Critic Zoe C. comments, “The Half of It is certainly a beautiful story about love, friendship and longing. It is a very relatable story about the process of discovering love and what comes with it. The acting is splendid and writer/director Alice Wu is very assertive in both capacities.”  Ruby A. adds, “The Half Of It is a film that virtually anyone can enjoy. It’s hilarious, unique, and has many intersecting relationships that keep you guessing what will happen in the future. The small-town setting helps the story feel more relatable. The personalities of the characters blend well and the progression of the plot makes sense.” Calista B. Wraps it up with, “The Half of It is interesting, however I feel like it could have been much better. I like it, yet I think there is a lot of missed potential.” See their full reviews below.

The Half of It

By Zoe C., KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, age 11

https://youtu.be/3t2K1Roh3lI

The Half of It is certainly a beautiful story about love, friendship and longing. It is a very relatable story about the process of discovering love and what comes with it. The acting is splendid and writer/director Alice Wu is very assertive in both capacities.

The story follows Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis), a shy and introverted, straight “A” student, in her senior year, helping a friend, Paul, to capture the attention of the girl of his dreams, Aster. Initially, Ellie writes just one letter, but the story evolves into an exchange of text messages before their first date. During the journey, the characters discover the truth of the stress and challenges of courtship.

https://youtu.be/4KefecjO30Q

The film starts with a beautiful, artsy animation and excellent voice over work, guiding us into the mysteries of love at a very young age. The Half of It is a very well narrated story, keeping you intrigued, making you wanting to know more about the characters and how they will end up. The editing and music are very interconnected and they work in perfect harmony, turning into amazing storytelling.

https://youtu.be/zgWBR20yG8I

I enjoyed the acting and the honesty of Leah Lewis’ portrayal of a very timid, but determined girl. I love Paul naiveté and his struggle to communicate and show his emotions and how his innocence contrasts with Ellie’s intelligence. Despite their differences they become friends, which is one of my favorite aspects of the film. I also love Collin Chou who plays Ellie’s dad. He barely speaks English but he’s really funny. He portrays a very loving and kind man and wants what’s best for his daughter. Ellie’s Dad loves classic films and, throughout the movie, there are several references to art in different disciplines like painting and poetry. This makes the film feel very grounded. “The Best Part,” as Ellie’s Dad refers when interrupted when watching his cinema classics, is when Ellie and Aster are in a secret lake and just talking. The scene itself is beautiful and the acting feels so natural. I love how this scene is shot and found it really relaxing.

The Half of It is not the typical high school movie, because in almost every high school movie there is a popular girl, a shy nerdy girl with lots of clichés and no substance. But in this movie the characters are real, current and deep.

The message of this film is “be the best version of you.” Ellie used to be an artist and one of the things she learns is that “you can have a good painting, but to make it a great one you need to make a bold stroke.” I think what she means by “bold stroke” is the best version that you can possibly be of yourself. Also we hear that “love is the journey we pursue with determination.”

This film is wonderful! I could watch it a million times and still be entertained. I give The Half of It 5 out of 5 stars and recommended it for ages 12 to 18. The Half of It opens on Netflix May 1, 2020.

The Half Of It

By Ruby A., KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, Age 12

https://youtu.be/dN9Vt1S7M6k

The Half Of It is a film that virtually anyone can enjoy. It’s hilarious, unique, and has many intersecting relationships that keep you guessing what will happen in the future. The small-town setting helps the story feel more relatable. The personalities of the characters blend well and the progression of the plot makes sense.

Netflix’s The Half Of It takes place in a small town by the name of Squahamish, following a girl named Ellie Chu. Ellie is in high school and has a way with words. Although she is talented, she is made fun of frequently. One day, Ellie is riding her bike and her classmate, Paul Munsky, asks her to write his crush, Aster, a love letter. Ellie is skeptical and annoyed, but she agrees to help him out. Little does she know that she will become his friend and fall for his crush at the same time.

Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis), Paul Munsky (Daniel Diemer) and Aster Flores (Alexxis Lemire) make a great cast of main characters. Paul and Ellie (despite their differences) make a great team when trying to impress Aster. I love so many parts of this movie, however I have to choose a favorite! The acting really is something else. The cast is really amazing and, when you watch it, you feel an emotional connection to them. There is one specific person from the cast who does an exceptional job – Leah Lewis. She embodies the role of a reserved and skeptical-of-everything teenager very well.

The lesson from this film is that acting like your true self is for more valuable than the person you may want others to perceive you as. This way, others can love you for just being you. The movie is most definitely successful in portraying this. It is a very positive and uplifting message. This movie promotes the positive social behaviors of friendship and helping other people. However, there is quite a bit of bullying towards the main protagonist, Ellie, that occurs. There is a slight bit of swearing, but nothing too severe, and some alcohol use is shown.

I give The Half Of It 5 out of 5 stars and recommend it for ages 12 to 18, plus adults. You can find The Half Of It on Netflix May 1, 2020.

The Half of It

By Calista Bess, KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, Age 16

https://youtu.be/6HDL4zRYVJM

 

The Half of It is interesting, however I feel like it could have been much better. I like it, yet I think there is a lot of missed potential.

The movie follows Ellie Chu (Leah Lewis) who makes money by charging other students for essay help. One day, a jock named Paul (Daniel Diemer) asks her for help writing a love letter to his crush Aster (Alexxis Lemire). However, as Ellie continues to help Paul win her over, she ends up also falling for Aster.

A big aspect of this film is the LGBT twist. As someone who cares a lot about representation, this intrigued me. However, I have mixed feelings about the way this movie goes about its representation. I can’t elaborate much as that would lead to spoilers, but let’s just say the actual LGBT romance is a little lackluster and mostly overshadowed by the straight romance. This isn’t really an issue for most of the film, however this heavily affected my opinion on the ending. I usually try not to compare pieces of media, however I want to compare this film to Love, Simon. An issue I’ve noticed when it comes to LGBT representation is the prevalence of tragedies and dramatic stories. Either that, or stories where the LGBT character doesn’t have a happy ending. This is why Love, Simon was such a hit with the LGBT audience, because it is a wholesome, romantic comedy that embraces its gay representation. And considering The Half of It is also pushing the gay aspect in marketing, it could have been a lot better. The Half of It is far from the worst when it comes to unsatisfying representation, but it definitely has room for improvement

However, the representation is not the only aspect of the film. As this is a comedy, how is the humor in this movie? Honestly, I really like a lot of the comedy in this film. I like the way Ellie and Paul play off each other and there’s many well executed visual gags and recurring bits. I also really like the friendship between Ellie and Paul. Despite the fact that they’re technically romantic rivals, you really buy their friendship as they have a great chemistry and you want them both to be happy in the end.

I give this film 3 out of 5 stars and recommend it for ages 11 to 18. It comes out on May 1, 2020. Look for it.

Revive Your Business — Shed Overhead, Thrill Your Clients and Boost Productivity

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Business
Revive Your Business — Shed Overhead, Thrill Your Clients and Boost Productivity

To start or to continue receiving the weekly blogs via email, please sign-up using this link: subscribe to Innovative Leadership Institute weekly blog.

This blog is provided by Mitch Russo. It is the first half of Chapter 1 from his book Invisible Organization: How Ingenious CEOs Are Creating Thriving Virtual Companies ©2015 and used with permission. In his book, Mitch shares how leaders can begin the process and enjoy the benefits of a successful Invisible Organization, which is one that embraces the work from home atmosphere. If you would like to find out more, you can purchase his book here. This blog is a companion to his interview on Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future, Building a Community Around Products and Services which aired on May 5th, 2020.

The whole world is moving in this direction. Your competitors may already be working virtually at some level. Some companies have tried and failed, others are succeeding and winning. You may already have a few people who work from home. That’s great, but it’s just a start. Transitioning to an Invisible Organization requires much more, and the rewards are much greater than you are aware of.

Why is it worth the effort to build an Invisible Organization? You can create more free time, higher profits, greater business success, and probably best of all, greater fulfillment for you and your staff. You might not realize it, yet the future of your very business may depend on it.

It’s not hard, but it does take determination and the willingness to rethink the way your company operates. The steps I provide are simple and direct regardless of what type of company you have or what industry you are in. I’ve done it myself, and I’ve helped others do it—with tremendous results. Now it’s your turn.

The goal of this book:

To get you into action quickly so that you can begin the process and enjoy the benefits of a successful Invisible Organization sooner rather than later.

The process will require you to master several new skills and strategies which will be the keys to unlimited business success. You’ll be challenged to find ways to become “invisible” in all areas of your company.

You’re going to evaluate every department, each staff member and every system you’re using now from a different perspective. You’ll discover ways to work more efficiently, and as a direct result, expand your business.

This process will take some time, but the cumulative results will be undeniable. You will create maximum results with minimum effort and cost.

Inevitably, this will enable you to increase your income.

When asked how they run their sales organization, some business owners might say, “We just pick up the phone, call a prospect and ask for the order.” That answer is no longer good enough. You need to break down exactly what it is you do into a series of steps that you follow with every single client or customer.

When you know exactly what it is your company is doing, you can tell a person exactly what it is you do with confidence. This leads to more business because people like systems. If they’re looking for someone to help them with a specific problem or service, they feel comfortable knowing that there’s a tried-and-tested series of techniques in place to get that job done.

Besides selling with confidence, good systems will make expansion easier and training more precise. They will let you build in and repeat successful processes. You can set up the training for your staff and track their results and improve them. You’ll know how long it takes to accomplish each action.

Once clearly defined systems are in place, you’ll then be able to easily discover ways to maximize your exposure with more effective marketing.

Your marketing system is a crucial piece of your business that will ultimately be generating income for you on its own. It will become a major component of your Invisible Organization.

The following chapters will share marketing techniques that go beyond the now-common Facebook and Google ads. These techniques will become huge profit generation systems when used in an Invisible Organization. If you already have great marketing systems in place and want to expand sales while cutting expenses, you are in the right place, too. I’ll show you how you can increase productivity and profits while improving the lifestyle of the CEO, the management team, and your staff.

How do I know this for sure? I did it myself. Now I want to help you do it as well.

As the CEO of Business Breakthroughs International, I built a multi-hundred-person organization spanning seven countries and with over 10,000 clients. We doubled our business three years in a row and managed twelve divisions, seven of which had their own Profit and Loss Statement and were profitable. At its peak we generated over $25 million in revenue per year with over five hundred clients every month. On average we had more than fifty working coaches and nearly 100 salespeople, all of them working from the comfort of their own homes. We didn’t own a single copy machine, and yet anyone who dealt with us thought we occupied a huge facility with a lot of parking spaces.

The company started as Chet Holmes International and evolved into Business Breakthroughs when Tony Robbins became our joint venture partner.

We collectively assisted thousands of companies with high-level consulting services, coaching and education. I created several new divisions, all profitable almost from day one.

I ran the entire organization as President and CEO from a home office, my spare bedroom converted to a workspace. It was comfortable, easy to work from, and it saved me countless hours and dollars I would have spent maintaining a professional, outside facility. Even though my personal assistant was 2,000 miles away, we functioned as a great team.

Before that, I was a CEO consultant and a venture investor. In that role, I saw hundreds of business models and directly participated in several as an operating executive.

Back in 1985, I built, ran, and sold the most popular time accounting software company ever built called Timeslips Corporation. At one point, Timeslips Corp had over 250,000 clients. We sold that business for over $10M.

With an Invisible Organization you won’t need the physical infrastructure you are currently using. Just imagine how much money you could save if you no longer had to pay for rent and utilities. Your first response may be, “That won’t work for our company.” But think about it. Wouldn’t it be a great way to boost profits and create leverage for your business if it were possible?

How much money could you really save? Let’s take a look.

A small architect’s office in Ashland Massachusetts has 12 employees. One is the CEO, another the bookkeeper, another is receptionist, and there is one tech to support the infrastructure. The remaining eight are engineers and draftsman. They have a 4,000-square-foot office space with a conference room, a reception area, and ten individual offices. After understanding their concerns about maintaining their “presence” in the area, I recommended the following, as their lease was up for renewal:

Current Monthly Costs:

Rent at $32/SqFt:                                 $10,666

Electricity                                               $816

Gas for Heat                                           $437

Leased Servers Onsite                          $2,850

Custodial                                                 $300

Coffee Service                                         $195

Snacks                                                      $150

Phone System Lease                             $532

Internet                                                    $450

Phone Service                                         $295

Property and Facilities Insurance       $310

Total:                                                        $17,001 per month

After the CEO decided it was time to become “invisible,” most of these costs were eliminated. The company downsized to an 850-sqare-foot office, which allowed the CEO to maintain his presence with the receptionist. This included a full conference room and two guest workstations with the equipment the company already owned.

The CEO returned his leased server to the leasing company and signed a contract for a cloud-based server, eliminating 3/4 of the company’s monthly expenses (and that included new equipment at his hosting company every two years with 24/7 tech support and backup). He sent his entire engineering staff home and gave them each $75 a month to pay for their Internet fees. They were delighted to save money on fuel and lunches, plus they were happy that they didn’t have to commute an average of 80 minutes anymore.

After going invisible, the company’s monthly costs were:

Rent at $36/SqFt                            $2,550

Electricity                                          $327

Gas for Heat                                      $196

Coffee Service                                   $48

Snacks                                                $54

Internet                                             $250

Phone Service                                   $96

Property Insurance                         $144

Remote Server Lease                      $650

Added Internet for Staff                 $750

Total:                                                 $5,065 per month

That’s an $11,936-per-month savings—about $143,232 per year— because they converted from a physical location to a virtual organization. Besides the savings, everyone loved working from home, except one engineer who didn’t have the self-discipline and had to be let go. As a result productivity soared, the quality of work increased dramatically, and people were logged into their servers from home at all hours of the day and night, willing to work extra if needed without complaint.

Just imagine how much you would save on office furniture, partitions, phone sets, phone systems, and in most cases, even the cost of computers. Since you won’t maintain any of your own hardware anymore, you will no longer need a tech support person. Instead you’ll rely on your cloud system’s provider for help.

In the above example, profits soared and staff became more productive even before we started implementing the really cool stuff: interconnecting all their systems, building their document vault, and creating their automated training environment. That’s the next step, and that’s where your world will change when it comes to scalability.

Today’s cutting-edge systems will open doors you didn’t even know existed. Even if you own a manufacturing plant, or operate a medical center, or need manual labor, there are still certain departments that could operate virtually. When you have the proper training systems in place with clear policies and procedures, you can send your sales and administrative team home while watching their productivity increase. They will be happier and will keep more of their net pay.

It’s best to transition gradually. Start with just a few people to get used to how it works. Then begin to migrate, and watch the magic happen. Everything I’ve discussed in this book can be done without physical infrastructure.

The Invisible Organization by Mitch Russo © 2015

To purchase The Invisible Organization, click here.

To become a more innovative leader, you can begin by taking our free leadership assessments and then enrolling in our online leadership development program.

Check out the companion interview and past episodes of Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future, via iTunes, Google Play, TuneIn, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRADIO. Stay up-to-date on new shows airing by following the Innovative Leadership Institute LinkedIn.

About the Author

Mitch is the author of the bestseller The Invisible Organization: How Ingenious CEOs are Creating Thriving, Virtual Companies, which is the CEOs guide to transitioning a traditional brick and mortar company into a fully virtual organization. It became an instant bestseller on Amazon across several categories. He cofounded Timeslips Corp, which grew to become the largest time tracking software company in the world before it was sold in 1998. Then, Mitch went on to join longtime friend Chet Holmes as President, later to join forces with Tony Robbins and together created Business Breakthroughs, International with nearly 300 people and about 25 million in sales. Mitch says, Make it Happen and he’s doing that with yet another great company he founded, called PowerTribes. His websites are MitchRusso.com and PowerTribes.net.

To connect with Mitch Russo, email: mitch@mitchrusso.com

May Power Blessings

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Empowerment
May Power Blessings

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MIRACLE MOMENT®

“A person of power embraces challenges in complete gratitude. No matter the situation life may bring, discontent is never justified, rather all is experienced as an opportunity and a privilege to adventure and grow.”James Ray,Author and Speaker 


cynthia brian-India mustardMESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN 

Founder/Executive Director

Happy May! Can you believe we are in week seven of sheltering-at-home. I’m sure everyone is now a gourmet cook, expert cleaner, garden aficionado, Zoomer, and a bit stir crazy. Just how many shows can be binged watched a night?

As for me, I’m great although concerned about keeping Be the Star You Are!® alive after almost 21 years because of lack of donations. The government isn’t helping nonprofits that are all volunteer, like Be the Star You Are!®, even though we have normal business expenses to run our outreach programs. When I founded BTSYA in 1998, I chose to not take a salary and not employ staff so that all donations would totally benefit the programs and people we serve. Who knew that we’d be penalized for being frugal and sustainably sensible?

 

There is a silver lining! We were thrilled to be notified that we won a $500 grant from the Nonprofits Insurance Alliance Gilbert Fund for our work. Roger Gilbert was a former insurance company CEO who believed in the work of non-profits. THANK YOU Gilbert Fund and NIA for believing in our work.

Green Air LogoWe also want to recognize Nicholas Donzelli and Green Air for their generous contributions to Be the Star You Are!®. This is the time to “go green”. Contact Green Air for all your energy solutions. I did, and I recommend them 100%. https://www.gogreenair.net Nick’s son, Isaiah was a teen reporter on Express Yourself! Radio and is now a thriving musician. Make sure to listen to his recent  interview with a couple of his original songs at https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/119379/play-and-music We are hoping that Isaiah will write a new musical intro for our Express Yourself!™ show.

nick donzelli-isaiah rankin-greenair1To support authors with new books and all appearances canceled, we began a new radio series on both StarStyle® and Express Yourself!® See below for more details and tune in. https://www.BetheStarYouAreRadio.com

Here in California we are on lockdown until at least May 31. You’ll find me in the garden or in my barnyard. For a bit of nature inspiration, check out Wild and Free: Press Pass: https://blog.voiceamerica.com/2020/04/30/wild-and-free/ .

Our hearts go out to all the graduates who will not get to “walk” in a ceremony or celebrate all the fun rituals of graduation. Chin up! There will be more awards and traditions for you in the near future. Use this special time for all those projects and ideas that you always said you wanted to instigate but had no time. YOU HAVE TIME NOW! I’m sure you are busy being at home, so I will sign off. Just wanted to say hello.

Find the blessings in the challenges. There is your power. Discover moments of joy. “This, too, shall pass.”

Stay positive. Stay safe. Stay healthy. Stay home. Wear a hazmat suit, if you have one! Find the humor in every moment. It will boost your immune system.

And call your Mother! Remember her on Mother’s Day. Make a donation in her name. I know that besides talking with my kids, a donation is the gift I want for Mother’s Day! https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Happy Mother's DayWith grace, gratitude,  and love,

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

P.S. During the lock-down, I am available for consultations, webinars, interviews, or speaking via on-line sources only. If interested, email cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org or visit https://www.starstyleradio.com/coaching

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


MOMENTS OF JOY

by Karen Kitchell

joy karen kitchel with millennial book

May we all savor and remember the moments of joy during 2020 so that we can share them with future generations. What I’ve learned during these last few months is when you help others, you are helping yourself. Nothing beats human kindness and compassion to lift your spirits. While self-care is important, other-care can boost your well-being in a big way.

To increase your happiness, consider ideas like these.

  • Arrange for a local restaurant to deliver pizzas to a domestic abuse shelter
  • Send a variety of snacks to a homeless shelter via Amazon
  • Email positive messages to an elderly assisted center
  • Check the list of needs at a local family shelter
  • Send “The Book of Joy” by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu to someone struggling with job loss or isolation
  • Make peanut butter cookies and drop them off on a neighbor’s doorstep
  • Savor the green grass and daffodils like the gift they are from above

While funds are scarce for some of us, others can use their dollars saved from buying less gas or the cups of good coffee that are temporarily out of reach.  If you have a time windfall, use it to increase your happiness. Experience one act of generosity followed by a moment of joy.

Karen Kitchel penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, and is a dedicated volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor.www.scatteringkindness.com


DONATE ON CINCO DE MAYO!

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#GivingTuesdayNow is a global day of giving and unity that will take place on May 5, 2020 as an emergency response to the unprecedented need caused by COVID-19. Please help Be the Star You Are!® and our fantastic outreach programs survive by making a donation today.

Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Or send a check to Be the Star You Are!® charity, PO Box 376, Moraga, Ca. 94556.

Let us know if you’d like to be set up to make monthly donations. All are tax-deductible.


WRITER WEDNESDAYS and SUPER SMART SUNDAYS

2016 Promo Banner bothshows-no picsAs part of our Be the Star You Are! COVID-19 Disaster Relief Outreach program, Be the Star You Are!® has collaborated with the Authors Guild to showcase the new books launched by many authors from around the country in a variety of genres. We will also be showcasing artists, actors, and musicians, all of whom had had their gigs canceled and are out of work. We believe in supporting creativity and believe that books, art, music, and film provide escape and joy, especially during tough times. For the next few months, make sure you are tuned in to both StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® on Wednesdays at 4pm PT for “Writers Wednesdays” LIVE http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2206/be-the-star-you-are as well as our teen program, Express Yourself!™ airing on Sundays at 3pm PT for “Super Smart Sundays”, https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself

Both programs broadcast on the Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel and will be archived on that site as well as iTunes, Stitcher, etc. It’s a giant artistic festival!

For information on the line-up, visit http://www.BetheStarYouAreRadio.com 


SHOP ONLINE WITHOUT A MASK!

Since we need to stay at home and only go out when absolutely necessary.  These are on-line shopping portals that will sell you what you need, offer discounts, and assist our mission as a nonprofit. Please use these web sites for all of your shopping essentials.

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

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2. Discounted books at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc& buy from your favorite stores. Giving Assistant Icon 234x60

4. Search and GoodShop: Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too! https://www.goodshop.com/nonprofit/be-the-star-you-are

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA2020 IGIVE logo

6. BTSYA Logo Store: http://btsya.rylees.net

7. Buy or Sell on EBAY:http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/be-the-star-you-are-501-c-3/1504/?favorite=link

8. Designer Clothes to Buy or Sell: https://www.unionandfifth.com/charities/be-the-star-you-are-moraga-ca/shop

9. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” T-shirts and tanks $19.99 at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

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10. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4

We appreciate a direct donation most of all via PAYPAL GIVING FUND at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Checks can be sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, California 94556

http://www.btsya.org

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Positive Results: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/positive-results

About Us: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/about_us

Programs: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/programs

How to Help: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/how-to-help

Blog: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/blog-1

Events: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/events

Contact us: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/contact

GREAT NON PROFITS REVIEWS: https://greatnonprofits.org/org/be-the-star-you-are-inc

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GUIDESTAR: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882

We invite you to volunteer, get involved, or make a donation. Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


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If you’d like to advertise your service or product while supporting Be the Star You Are!®, we are now accepting approved ads that will benefit readers. Contact info@BetheStarYouAre.org for details.

IMay, Pray. Play, Stay! 

Be healthy, Be HOME.

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

All donations are 100% Tax Deductible according to law. Thank you!

https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

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Entertainment Super Star Tom Kalinske, former CEO of Sega US and Leapfrog Talks with KIDS FIRST!

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Interviews
Entertainment Super Star Tom Kalinske, former CEO of Sega US and Leapfrog Talks with KIDS FIRST!

Recently Rohan F. had the opportunity to visit with Thomas “Tom” Kalinske, an American businessman, best known as having worked for Mattel 1972-87, reviving the Barbie & Hot Wheels Brands, launching Masters of the Universe, then being promoted to CEO of Mattel from 1985 to 1987. Next he was CEO of Matchbox, and then recruited to become president and CEO of Sega of America, Inc. from 1990 to 1996. Next, he became CEO and COB of Leapfrog (1997-2006).

https://youtu.be/5q2EbLaSA20

Tom’s aggressive marketing decisions during his time at Sega, such as price drops, anti-Nintendo attack ads, and the famous “Sega Scream” TV campaign, are often cited as key elements in the success of the Genesis video game console. He is currently the Executive Chairman of Global Education Learning, a company dedicated to children’s education in China.

For his work at Mattel, Universal Matchbox, Sega, and Leapfrog, Kalinske was a 1997 inductee into the Toy Industry Hall of Fame. He has received the NYC Boy Scout’s Good Scout Award, the Starlight Foundation Man of Year Award, the University of Wisconsin Business Partners “Distinguished Fellow” Award, and the Video Software Dealers Man of Year Award.

Learn what Tom’s experience means to you and why he is a perfect role model for kids worldwide.

Key words: Tom Kalinske, Mattel, Barbie, Hot Wheels, Masters of the Universe, Matchbox, Sega of America, Leapfrog, Nintendo, Sega Scream, Genesis, Global Education Learning, China, education

Tips to Succeed at America’s Toughest Interviews

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Business
Tips to Succeed at America’s Toughest Interviews

To start or to continue receiving the weekly blogs via email, please sign-up using this link: subscribe to Innovative Leadership Institute weekly blog.

This blog is part of the extra blog series we are doing as encouragement in these uncertain times.  Unfortunately, many have seen jobs disappear or cutback. This post is guidance on potential job interview questions. It is a chance to hone your skills and be prepared when the right job opens up. A companion interview to listen to is Employee Confidence, the New Rule of Engagement with Karen J. Hewitt.

 

Spending time inside while quarantined gives you the opportunity to focus on professional development and self-improvement. It’s a chance to hone in on your long-term career goals and sharpen up your interview skills. If you ever must leave your current position and re-enter the competitive job market, you will want to be prepared.

Has it been years since you have practiced for an interview? By taking a look at the interview processes of America’s top tech companies, you can refresh your memory and learn key strategies. After all, it is not only the big tech companies that use these techniques during interviews. Nowadays, businesses across industries follow the same best practices for interviewing job candidates.

When you understand how to answer the types of questions asked by interviewers at Google, Facebook, and Twitter, you will feel ready for anything. Let’s outline some of these interview questions and tips on how to respond below. Plus, check out a helpful graphic from the experts at LiveCareer below, which nicely illustrates this interview advice.

Any company that dedicates itself to investing in quality talent will not have an easy interview process. There will never be a foolproof way to set yourself up for success in an interview.  Google probably would not have such a tough interview process if it was not a top company that receives millions of applications a year. Once you have already spent time and energy perfecting your resume and landing the interview, you want to maximize your chances of acing the interview. Let’s hope you can use these takeaways to aid in your job search.

 

To become a more innovative leader, you can begin by taking our free leadership assessments and then enrolling in our online leadership development program.

Check out the companion interview and past episodes of Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future, via iTunes, Google Play, TuneIn, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRADIO. Stay up-to-date on new shows airing by following the Innovative Leadership Institute LinkedIn.

About the Author

Gabrielle Gardiner is an NYC-based content creator who enjoys writing helpful articles about professional development for companies like LiveCareer. She’s passionate about sharing her insights to empower people to succeed in their careers.

Wild and Free!

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Empowerment
Wild and Free!

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“I think that I cannot preserve my health and spirits, unless I spend four hours a day at least — and it is commonly more than that — sauntering through the woods and over the hills and fields, absolutely free from all worldly engagements. ” Henry David Thoreau

Mother Nature has an astounding way of rebounding. The blackened, charred hills behind my house from the October wildfire are now a carpet of emerald green grass accessorized by a super bloom of glorious orange California poppies, and tall, bright yellow mustard. My orchard is blanketed with a plethora of colorful wildflowers mixed with the blooms from seeds either scattered by the wind or me at the end of autumn when the first rains drizzled onto our parched earth. Nigella, morning glory, nasturtium, calendula, statice, euphorbia, chamomile, lupin, daisy, yarrow, and more. My fruit trees have been a succession of flowering petals and delicate fragrance, forecasting a bounty of fresh treats to come. 

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After six weeks of staying-at-home, my garden is more alive and gorgeous than ever. The sky is blue and free of jet streams. The heady perfume of jasmine, lilacs, and wisteria waft through the clean air. The birds are singing as they build their nests. Trotting turkeys “gobble gobble”, bowing to one another, then gobbling again in their quest for mates. Untamed vines tangle their tendrils up tree trunks, along wires, and onto fences. Tulip, rose, lavender, iris, azaleas geranium, pelargonium, cyclamen, vinca, bird of paradise, and a plethora of other plants are a parade of festivity. Drifts of daffodils and mounds of grape hyacinth continue to add color and liveliness. Herbs and leafy greens are harvested daily to add nutrition and zest to meals. Freshly picked as needed, oranges, tangerines, lemons, limes, and tangelos provide plenty of vitamin C to keep my family well. My spirits are soaring with gratitude for my garden. I am healthy and happy as I witness spring unfurl in all its glory. I may not be interacting with people, but I am intensely involved with living beings in every moment I spend outdoors. Hopefully, with people ensconced at home, our planet is healing and rebuilding its strength. 

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The natural world is wild and free. Humans have the power and the responsibility to save our planet. In this beautiful month, be grateful for everything we are and everything we have. Refocus and reclaim your positivity. Reduce stress and anxiety by going where the wild things are…hills, fields, and your garden. Grow yourself!

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Cynthia Brian’s Gardening Guide for May

PROVIDE security for birds by building a nest box for the birds you want to attract. Place it in the shade with a clear flight path to the entrance. 

SOW for succession to provide pollinators a buffet throughout the growing season.

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SAVE your back and build a raised bed. It’s easy if you enjoy DIY projects. When you wire the bottom, you won’t have gophers or other diggers eating your crops.

INVOLVE your kids in gardening by allowing them to grow seeds that feature a rainbow of colors to fill their plates. Red radishes, orange carrots, green peppers, purple beets, and an array of lettuces will sprout quickly.

PLANT aromatic herbs and nutritious vegetables that will ensure the health of your family. Beans, peas, eggplant, broccoli, potatoes, cabbage, and turnips. Towards the end of the month, add tomatoes to your plot.

TRELLIS your vining plants such as wisteria, jasmine, and bower plants.

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TOWER gardens are a great alternative if you have a small space. Find ready-made options online.

CHECK sprinklers and irrigation systems for leaks. 

FERTILIZE containers as needed. Plants in pots lose nutrients more quickly than those planted in the ground.

SPRUCE up your patio to prepare for entertaining. Power wash hard surfaces and get ready to celebrate a Mother’s Day picnic at home.

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SOW annuals now in a rich soil mixture.  Marigolds, cosmos, zinnias, and bachelor buttons are excellent choices for a showy summer.

MULCH your garden with grass clippings, chopped leaves, and other organic composts to reduce weeds.

ELIMINATE any standing water from gutters, pot saucers, old tires, or puddles to reduce the breeding of mosquitoes.

DEADHEAD spent blossoms from any annuals or perennials to encourage continuous blooming.

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PRUNE back daffodil leaves only when they are yellow and crispy. 

THROW bait to eradicate snails and slugs from devouring new sprouts.

READ my books available from https://www.CynthiaBrian.com/online-store. To avoid shipping charges, I will leave your enhanced package outside my office door for you. There will be no personal contact.

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MOW your lawn without the bag at least every other week. This allows the nitrogen and nutrients that are in the grass to nurture the growing blades. 

EAT the flowers from nasturtiums, roses, arugula, cilantro, thyme, roses, basil, and sage. They add flavor and beauty to many dishes.

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CUT a branch from a flowering tree, like cherry, for a striking indoor statement.

CREATE stunning aromatic bouquets with blooming lilacs, wisteria, jasmine, and roses,

REGISTER your yard or garden as a Certified Wildlife Habitat at https://www.nwf.org/CertifiedWildlifeHabitat. The $20 fee supports wildlife.

FOLLOW up ground fertilizing of flowers, perennials, vegetables, and fruits with foliar and micro-nutrients at appropriate times during the growing season.

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EAT fresh fruits and veggies, especially those you grow yourself.

SLEEP seven to eight hours every day to keep your immune system strong.

BREATHE and know that the sun is going to shine tomorrow.

It may take some months before we are social gathering again. For those of us who usually shake hands or hug, we may be wise to take the advice of the World Health Organization and begin bowing. Or do as I learned in India last year: clasp hands in prayer, bow, and whisper Namaste. Although we are apart, we are together, and we can view this time as a learning experience. Get thee into thy garden. Grow thyself! Be wild and free.

Stay healthy. Stay safe. Stay home.

Happy Gardening. Happy Growing. 

Photos and more at http://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1405/Digging-Deep-with-Goddess-Gardener-Cynthia-Brian-Wild-and-free.html

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Cynthia Brian, The Goddess Gardener, is available for hire to help you prepare for your spring garden. Raised in the vineyards of Napa County, Cynthia is a New York Times best-selling author, actor, radio personality, speaker, media and writing coach as well as the Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3. Tune into Cynthia’s StarStyle® Radio Broadcast at www.StarStyleRadio.com.

Buy copies of her best-selling books, including, Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, Growing with the Goddess Gardener, and Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers at www.cynthiabrian.com/online-store. 

Cynthia is available for virtual writing projects, garden consults, and inspirational lectures. www.CynthiaBrian.com

Cynthia@GoddessGardener.com

 

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Check Out Our Webinar With Cynthia Hsiung, Award-Winning Writer, Director, Producer And More!

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Interviews
Check Out Our Webinar With Cynthia Hsiung, Award-Winning Writer, Director, Producer And More!

Gerry O. recently had the opportunity to interview Cynthia Hsiung with an audience of our KIDS FIRST! reporters who were able to ask her questions afterwards. With the new constraints of the Coronavirus, KIDS FIRST! has taken the opportunity to convert online interviews into learning experiences for our youth reporters. This is the first webinar we’ve conducted, so take a look and feel free to share with your network.

https://youtu.be/aHZcP2TpoUU

Cynthia Hsiung is an award winning Director, Writer, Producer and Development Executive who has developed and produced TV shows, documentaries, films and online content for MTV, VH1, Fox Kids Network, HBO and Warner Bros. She was part of the original programming development team that developed MTV’s The Real World and Road Rules; HBO’s Breasts, the documentary; and VH1’s channel-defining Behind the Music series. Still in her 20s, she was Carson Daly’s first MTV producer/director for his television VJ debut. Moving from New York to LA, she became the Director of Development for Spygaze Pictures developing feature film movies of the week. She was then brought on by Sam Raimi and Rob Tapert to be the series Producer for the highly-rated 50 episode live-action series “Young Hercules” starring Ryan Gosling for Fox Kids Network. “Young Hercules” was nominated for two Emmy Awards and a Writers Guild award.

In 2010, Ms. Hsiung wrote, directed, and executive produced the feature film, “Shades of Love”. The modern love story was based on a true story. The film won five awards including Best Director of a Feature Film and Best Narrative Writing for Cynthia Hsiung. Ms. Hsiung has continued to write for film and television. Additionally in 2015 she worked on a music documentary series for Edward Norton regarding the affordable housing crisis.

In 2019, Ms. Hsiung returned to the Writers Room as one of the Executive Producers for a series for China’s Alibaba. The scripted one-hour dramatic series will be announced in 2020. She is also an Instructor for UCLA Extension Writers Program teaching courses in Writing and Showrunning. She is currently writing a mini-series on the 2019 Coronavirus.

By Gerry O., KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, age 17
Author’s Page – Amazon
World According to G

Dealing with Depression – Self Help

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Health & Wellness
Dealing with Depression – Self Help

Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.” C.S. Lewis, The Problem of Pain

We understand, dealing with depression can be a lonesome activity. You’re not alone in this. Depression affects millions of people at some stage of life or the other. The good news is just like any other health condition, depression can be cured with the right therapy and medication. In this article, we will explore different factors that can lead to depression and how to get help in coping with depression.

Risk Factors for Depression

The onset of depression in one’s life can rarely be traced down to one isolated factor conclusively. However, the following elements definitely play a role and can trigger depression:

Genetics

A family history of heart disease or diabetes, for example, leaves the next generation a lot more susceptible to the disease. Similarly, if you have a history of depression in your previous generations, you might be at a predisposed risk of experiencing a depressive episode at some stage in your life.

Death or Grief

The passing away of a loved one is a huge pain to be dealt with in life. Losing a parent, spouse, or child can trigger serious stress, feelings of guilt, and loss of interest in daily activities.

Personal, professional or political conflict

Long-term estrangement or a complete breakdown in close-knit relationships is also considered a big risk factor for depression. Similarly, political upheaval in the form of riots or loss of life and security due to natural calamities can lead to depression.

Abuse

Our experiences as children shape our adult personalities. Kids who face bullying at school or neglect and physical abuse may be at a higher risk of depression than those who don’t. Experimentation with alcohol and substance abuse also plays a role.

Social Support

Change in social structure also contributes to bouts of depression. A change in a certain work environment or relocation to a new city may induce feelings of isolation and loneliness arising from the change in the social support structure.

One or more of these factors put together can contribute to depressive episodes of varying severity, however, that might not always be the case. It’s normal to want to know what you or someone you know is experiencing, but different people react to and overcome depression differently.

Depression in Men

Although the risk factors for both genders remain the same, if you’re a man, you’re likely to experience depression differently from your female peers. Traditional upbringing and focus on what is perceived to be acceptable male behavior can put pressure on men to suppress their feelings. Men feel surmounting pressure to conform to gender norms and be the bread-winners for their families without exception. Will I be able to get a good job after graduation? Will I be able to provide a good life for my family? Will I be able to plan for my child’s education? All these questions form the root cause of mental strain that can lead to depression. Men are more likely to deal with depression at work, due to these pressures. Unlike women and children, men rarely open up to even their closest friends about these fears and insecurities.

Symptoms of depression in men

Symptoms of depression in men range from mild irritability to rage, loss of appetite and interest in work and family activities, insomnia and failure to concentrate on routine activities.

Depression in Women

If you’re a woman battling depression, chances are you’ll experience forms of the ailment that are unique to your gender. Statistics suggest that women are twice as likely as men to experience one depressive episode in their lifetime. The most commonly occurring depression in women is postpartum depression which occurs during the last trimester of childbirth and may last up to a year after. Menopausal depression is also unique to women; this condition gives rise to a sense of a loss of femininity and womanhood, thereby triggering depression. Major life changes such as marriage and childbirth can cause a change in identity and perception for women individually and those around them. Clinical depression is also a leading health risk for women, although women express it differently.

Symptoms of depression in Women

Symptoms of depression in Women range from irritability, anxiety, sleeplessness, an increase in menstrual cramps, headaches, and greater fatigue as a result of depression.

Depression in Teens

Teens suffering from depression display a marked change in behavior. They tend to oversleep, exhibit extreme deviation in eating habits, propensity to indulge in irresponsible behavior such as breaking the law or experimenting with substance abuse and many similar outrageous acts. In their attempt to express their internal angst they usually opt to act out and partake in rebellious outbursts; in case of extreme situations, some even taking to violence.

Symptoms of depression in Teens

Depressed youngsters might experience periods of sadness and hopelessness; you can sense their discomfort when they express a loss of desire in socializing and interacting with friends and family.

Self Help Tips for Dealing with Depression

Dealing with depression alone can be hard for anyone. But the best and most effective way to overcome depression is to come out of isolation and seek help. If you or someone you know is trying to overcome depression, it’s natural to think of the ways in which you can get help or reach a professional. Here are some useful self-help tips for dealing with depression:

Accept Depression

The first step to solving a problem is first accepting that there is one in the first place. If your loved one is depressed, take the necessary steps to reassure them of how they feel. Make them feel included in daily activities and talk them through their episode. Enable them to be vocal about how they feel. An expression is a key to overcoming depression.

This is the first step to loving yourself; we cannot change the situation we are in but we can own the responsibility of taking care of ourselves.

Look for trends and triggers

Most depressive episodes follow a certain pattern. If you’re wondering how to help someone with depression, the best thing to do is to help them identify their triggers. If you spend enough time with the person, you’ll recognize certain instances or memories of certain people that incite anxiety and discomfort. Make a note of these and then address these pain points.

Find something to look forward to

The happiest people in the world feel positive because they have something to look forward to and be excited about. A good technique for tackling depression is to make plans and schedule things that can break the depressive cycle and bring a burst of positive reinforcement even if it’s temporary. Repeating this exercise often can yield lasting results.

Be social

As human beings, we are inherently social animals. We need to surround ourselves with people who love us, care for us and inspire us. In order to overcome depression, you should try to gather the most fun – Replace negative thoughts with positive feelings, change your “I can’t” to “I can”. You can practice reframing thoughts on Wysa.

Exercise

Exercise is a natural mood enhancer. Exercising in the gym or playing a sport you love can release endorphins in your body that will refresh your mood. Most research on the subject suggests that just a little physical activity can greatly reduce the severity of depression in people in the long run.

Maintaining a routine

Setting a routine will help you feel like you are in control of yourself and the way your day is structured. For example, you can have your morning routine that includes deep breathing exercises, a good shower, and a healthy breakfast.

Try the deep breathing exercises, and energy-boosting exercises with Wysa and make a noticeable progress every day with us.

Maintaining a proper diet

Never underestimate the power of a good and well-balanced diet. Depression can cause you to eat more than usual or eating too little. Monitoring and keeping an eye on your nutrition helps maintain your internal biological parameters.

Sleep hygiene

Depression can cause sleep disturbances such as insomnia or oversleeping. It’s good to set up a fixed time for bed and follow it every day.

If you are finding it hard to sleep, you can find a gallery of sleep stories on the Wysa app that are sure to relax your mind and help you sleep better.

Taking on more responsibilities

It is quite common to involve yourself in tasks that are larger than yourself or require you to contribute to something meaningful. This will help with your feelings of low self-worth and give you validation for the work you’ve done. For example, you can take up volunteering.

Talk to a CBT trained AI Bot

With the advancement in technologies, it is possible to get help in dealing with depression through an artificial intelligence bot. These bots are trained in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) and help reframe your thoughts towards a positive mindset.

Wysa is NHS certified and is considered among the best digital mental health app. We have an empathetic AI bot trained in CBT who help you and are available for a chat 24/7 and is completely anonymous. Start talking today.

Conclusion

Dealing with depression alone or dealing with someone with depression is no mean feat. But it’s completely achievable. Try to think of depression as a temporary wound on your body that you can’t see. Eventually, every wound will pale and heal; the scabs and scars will fall off and you will be new! Just remember, there is a bright light at the end of the tunnel. We promise. Try these self-help tips for dealing with depression and keep us posted on your progress, we’re listening.

DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND, HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST: The Lens of Understanding Why Do People Act the Way They Do

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Business
DEALING WITH PEOPLE YOU CAN’T STAND, HOW TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN PEOPLE AT THEIR WORST: The Lens of Understanding Why Do People Act the Way They Do

To start or to continue receiving the weekly blogs via email, please sign-up using this link: subscribe to Innovative Leadership Institute weekly blog.

The following blog is provided by Dr. Rick Brinkman. It is a companion to his interview on Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future titled How to Bring Out the Best In People at Their Worst that aired on April 28th, 2020.

 

Conflict can take many forms. It can be in your face, or passive aggressive behind the back. It can be caused by a specific context like meetings where typically assertive people talk too much while others drop out. The first step to successfully exiting a conflict or even better preventing it in the first place, is to understand why people act the way they do. In order to do that I would like to introduce you to the Lens of Understanding, from our book, “Dealing with People You Can’t Stand, How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst.”

When you understand why people act the way they do, then you will be empowered to transform and prevent conflict behaviors. Let’s examine behavior through the Lens of Understanding. We have a green Cooperation Zone and people have 4 intents operating within them: the intent to Get Things Done, to Get Things Right, to Get Along with People, and to Get Appreciated by people. Behaviorally speaking if a person is in a Get it Done mode they will be focused on the task at hand and become more assertive to make things happen. If things are not getting done and perceive others as wasting time, then they have a tendency to go into the yellow Caution Zone and will become more controlling because if they can take over they can make things happen. Sometimes the fact that they take charge and move things forward is not a problem but a solution. That really depends on how it is done. People can also go into what we call the red Danger Zone and their behavior is more destructive and can easily become a Tank. A Tank declares martial law and runs right over you. Life is really simple to them. You are part of the solution or you are eliminated. They may rip you apart personally, but the irony is, “it’s nothing personal”. You just happen to be in the way of an end result and so must be eliminated.

However, control has other expressions. When people have suppressed anger or resentment, Sniping is often the result. At a meeting their attack is hidden in put down humor, snide remarks and sarcasm. This can be to your face or also behind your back. Sabotage and malicious gossip are also versions of this behavior. A third controlling behavior is Know-it-All. They control through knowledge because they really know a lot, but they are closed minded to everyone else’s possible contribution. In a meeting they can take the group down endless irrelevant tangents.

If we shift gears to the intent to Get it Right, we find people still focused on the task but less assertive because they must slow things down to make sure all the details are covered.   If the people around them are not paying attention to accuracy, then they can move into the yellow zone and become more perfectionist. The positive of that is all the details are covered but if they go too far into the red danger zone, they can get to a point where no one including themselves can meet their high standard and then begin to feel helpless or hopeless. When people feel helpless, Whining is the result. When people feel hopeless, Negativity results. What they both have in common is they speak in generalizations that “everything is wrong, nothing is right, and it’s always that way.” It is these generalized problems that drive everyone around them crazy, because the first step to problem solving is specifics. You can’t solve a generalization.

Other people in the face of that unattainable perfection just get frustrated and give up. That’s when you hear, “Fine, do it your way. Don’t come crying to me when it doesn’t work out.” From that point they become the Nothing person and give up.

You also get Nothing behavior from a different area of the Lens. Out of the intent to Get Along with people you get people who are friendly and helpful. Here the yellow zone is all about get approval from others. And since if you don’t have something nice to say, then don’t say it at all, Nothing behavior is a common result. Agreeable Yes behavior also stems from this motivation. Out of the desire to please and get approval, people don’t consider their own needs but just say yes to whatever anyone else wants. Maybe behavior can also originate from this zone. We have all told a salesperson, “I’ll think about it.” Were you really planning on thinking about it? No, it was approval-oriented behavior. Passive aggressive behavior also originates out of this zone. They are nice to your face but become a Sniper behind the back.

Shifting mental gears to the intent to Get Appreciated by people, we find the focus is still on people but behavior tends to be more assertive because what goes hand in hand with appreciation is a desire to contribute to others. But if they are not getting the appreciation they feel they deserve, their behavior gets more attention seeking. The red zone version can be a temper tantrum or what we call the Grenade. It is different than a Tank attack in that the Tank is focused on a specific person and you know what the issue is. When a Grenade blows up they do so in 360 degrees, indiscriminately and everyone gets hit. You are more likely to hear things like, “It’s the government’s fault! That’s the problem with the world today.” and other statements that make no sense given the present circumstances. A Tank is demanding action. A Grenade is demanding attention.

What you also get out of a need for attention is another kind of Sniper; friendly fire. These are people who like you and use put down humor or teasing as a way of showing their affection. There is no ill intent, but it can still have painful consequences.

Last but not least another behavior with an extreme need for attention is Think-They-Know-it-All behavior. Here you have someone acting like they know what they are talking about, but they don’t. You get one-upmanship in this category. If you had a great vacation, they had a better one. If you were sick, they were sicker. If you had a big inauguration, they had a bigger inauguration.

Tank, Sniper, Know-it-all, Think-They-Know-it-All, Grenade, Yes person, Maybe person, Nothing person, No person, and Whiner are the top ten-problem behaviors people face. But the good news is communication is like a phone number and there is a “right number” behaviorally that you can dial that can pull people out of their stress response and back into the normal zone of behavior.

Detailed strategies for all the behaviors are beyond the scope of this article but are certainly available in the book, “Dealing With People You Can’t Stand”, published by McGraw-Hill.

Download a free Lens of Understanding and see a live presentation of the Lens of Understanding in Dr. Brinkman’s trademark Educating through Entertainment style here.

 

To become a more innovative leader, you can begin by taking our free leadership assessments and then enrolling in our online leadership development program.

Check out the companion interview and past episodes of Innovating Leadership, Co-creating Our Future, via iTunes, Google Play, TuneIn, Stitcher, Spotify and iHeartRADIO. Stay up-to-date on new shows airing by following the Innovative Leadership Institute LinkedIn.

About the Author

Dr. Rick Brinkman is best known for his Conscious Communication® expertise conveyed to millions of people via keynotes and trainings in his trademark Educating through Entertainment style. He has performed over 4000 programs in 18 countries. He is the coauthor of six McGraw Hill books including the 2,000,000 copy international bestseller: Dealing With People You Can’t Stand: How to Bring Out the Best in People at Their Worst. Which has been translated into 25 languages. His latest book is: Dealing with Meetings You Can’t Stand, Meet Less and Do More.  His clients have included: the Astronauts at NASA, LucasFilm, Sony Pictures, the FBI, Defense Department, Lockheed Martin, Adobe and many more. He has been featured as a communication expert on CNN, the Wall St. Journal, the New York Times, and O Magazine.

Photo by Kaboompics .com

My Spy * Wonderful Story About Friendship and Love In the Most Unusual Circumstances

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Reviews
My Spy * Wonderful Story About Friendship and Love In the Most Unusual Circumstances

Nine-year-old Sophie catches JJ, a hardened CIA operative, spying on her family during a routine surveillance operation. In exchange for not blowing his cover, JJ begrudgingly agrees to show the precocious girl how to become a spy. What at first seems like an easy task soon turns into a battle of wits as Sophie proves you don’t need much experience to outsmart a seasoned agent. KIDS FIRST! Film Critic Lindalee R. comments, “My Spy is so good because I love the friendship and love that develops between the characters JJ (Dave Bautista) and Sophie (Chloe Coleman)! They start off as strangers and then, throughout the movie, JJ teaches her how to be a good spy, and she teaches him how to be a kinder person as their relationship grows stronger and they become friends. See her full review below.

My Spy
Lindalee R., KIDS FIRST! Film Critic, Age 11

My Spy is so good because I love the friendship and love that develops between the characters JJ (Dave Bautista) and Sophie (Chloe Coleman)! They start off as strangers and then, throughout the movie, JJ teaches her how to be a good spy, and she teaches him how to be a kinder person as their relationship grows stronger and they become friends. Not only does JJ have a change of heart and but eventually he develops feelings for her mom.

My Spy is the story of a CIA agent who is secretly watching a family in order to try and get information connected to a big case he is on. One of the people he is watching is the little girl, Sophie, who discovers J.J. and that he is spying on her and her mom. In exchange for not revealing his secret, Sophie makes him teach her how to be a good spy.

One of my favorite parts of My Spy is when JJ goes on a date with Sophie‘s mom and starts dancing. Because his character is so serious and he’s such a large person, it’s very funny to see him trying to do all these trendy dances…because he does it so terribly! Honestly, it kind of reminded me of my dad dancing.

For those who like Dave Bautista in Guardians of the Galaxy you will love him in this movie. Chloe Coleman has a very bright acting future—she is such a kind person both on and off camera, and she has such an amazing on-camera presence.

A quick note to parents:  My Spy does contain some adult language (and in some songs played during the movie.) So while younger kids may enjoy it, parents should decide if their kids are mature enough to see a movie with moments of profanity.

My Spy is full of action, fun, comedy and love. I give My Spy 5 out of 5 stars. I recommend it for ages 10 to 18, and adults will love it too! Available on Amazon Prime now.

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