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The Future of Aging

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Empowerment
The Future of Aging

The Eldercare Advocate

Are we living longer as a society? According to Paul Irving, Chairman of The Milken Institute Center for The Future of Aging, while overall it appears people are living to advanced ages, there is inequality in longevity which can be linked directly to socioeconomics and community.

The quality of people’s lives is significantly affected by their financial means and as well as where they live. Access to, and knowledge of, a healthy lifestyle, including regular exercise and a more healthful diet, access to health care, as well as depression, loneliness, and isolation, are factors linked to decrease in life span over the past 3 years for people who life in communities where they may be facing more challenges as opposed to those living in more rural areas. Other factors which may affect a person’s overall health issues is actually discrimination against older people, also known as ageism.

The John Hartford Foundation[1]released an issue brief in April of 2017 entitled “Reframing Aging”.  The brief emphasizes the negative impact of our society’s view of becoming older, and because of this negative view, as if it is a fate to be avoided at all costs (a conundrum in and of itself. In a previous blogpost, I suggested the incongruence of us mourning premature death as a life unfulfilled, and yet shunning the notion of getting older, avoiding the discussion at all costs.)  However, discrimination faced by older people is actually an issue of national concern which needs to be addressed. This discrimination leads us as a society to accept, tolerate or seem to be disinterested in the poor care, poor treatment, lack of dignity and lack of respect faced by older people, and indeed those that are very old.

The brief goes on to call for the need to redefine aging. This is based on the negative assumptions about what it means to get old. In addition, as Paul Irving states, there is no one size fits all. There is a vast difference to each person who is 65, 75, 85, or 95. No different that there is a vast difference amongst people of any other age group. These differences may be defined by health, wealth, education, religion, gender and sexual preference but can certainly go on from there.

Rather than having sympathy for the older person, society must shape its attitudes towards inclusion. It is indeed a human rights issue. The rights of the older person in no way differs from the rights of any other person in society.

The words we use also has a tremendous impact on our attitudes. In American culture, from the time we are little we are using the word ‘old’ as in “how old are you”. Other cultures ask the query, “how many years do you have?”, or “what year are you living?”. Transforming our language will play an important role in changing our attitudes.

Lastly, the brief suggests an entirely new perception about aging, both from society as a whole, as well as from the perspective of the person who is advancing in their years. It suggests the notion of building momentum, I support terminology such as advancing in years or continuing life’s journey. It is an accomplishment, something to be admired and respected. Other cultures consider reaching an advanced age as a jubilee of sorts.  In the latter case, it is documented that a person’s self-image has a tremendous impact on their overall health.

Science has done its part in helping people live longer. But institutions, society, businesses, communities have not necessarily kept up with science on the one hand yet, on the other, it has perpetuated our youth oriented culture. This is most evident in the $16.8 billion spent on both invasive and less invasive cosmetic techniques to maintain or regain their youthful appearance. Is this not counterintuitive to the idea of accepting and appreciating one’s age. I’ve heard people say, look at the wrinkles on my face and the gray hairs on my head, I have earned every single one. They have meaning and importance, not only in my life, but for the life of others.

What is the cost to society if we don’t change our attitudes, provide better care and a better quality of life to people as they advance in age? Those “wisdom keepers” are a valuable natural resource that can add tremendous value to our society on many fronts and to the lives of those younger than they who can indeed benefit from the wealth of acquired knowledge through years of life experience.

What is it to feel a particular age?

When we are younger, as we advance from our 20’s. to our 30’s and probably to about our 50’s we feel a sense of growth and maturity. But, what do we feel as we continue on our life’s journey from that point upward to our 60’’s, 70’s, 80’s, 90’s?

Irving points out that prior to the 20thcentury creation of the “Happy Birthday” song, age was judged by fitness, health, etc. A return to this way of thinking may help us on the road to restructuring and refashioning our attitudes towards people as they continue to age.

Hugo Gerstl, a guest on Voices for Eldercare Advocacy remains a practicing trial attorney and author of 5 books at seventy-eight years of age.  He suggests that despite what we see in the mirror, a person always remains the same age deep down inside himself or herself, and that age is early maturity.

Gerstl also suggests that there is not a limitation or an endpoint in the jobs of life and he believes that the attitude one has toward or traditional idea of a job affects our attitudes towards life.  In our early years, through teens or early twenties for some, it is the job of going to school which is followed by years of gainful employment. But, if one chooses to end their traditional employment, they can think of their job as a continuation to acquire knowledge, to grow, to help others, to have interests beyond himself or herself. This is what keeps a person vital, vibrant, active and engaged. In doing so, there are significant contributions one can make though they may take on a different form.

[1]https://www.johnahartford.org/dissemination-center/view/reframing-aging-issue-brief-released

Life is in the Blintzes

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Empowerment
Life is in the Blintzes

“Life is in the Blintzes”

By Eric in Brooklyn, NY

An excerpt from Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Enlightenment, Ariel and Shya Kane

When my maternal grandmother, Dora, was a child, she came to America from a tiny village in Eastern Europe. One of my fondest memories of her was that she made amazing blintzes, thin crepe-like pancakes filled with savory cheese. When I was a little boy I’d visit her in the Bronx in New York City, and we’d walk together to the store, my small hand in hers, to get fresh ingredients. Then we’d go back to her apartment and I’d watch her make my beloved blintzes. She never followed a recipe. Everything she made was by eye or by heart. The best part of all was eating them. My grandmother was a cheek pincher who loved me with food. And her food, from blintzes to chicken soup to chopped liver, was extraordinary.

By contrast, I hadn’t felt as close to my mother. While my dad and I shared jokes and a common interest in music, when I was in my pre-teen years, I decided that my mother was stoic, cold, and unable to connect with me emotionally. We didn’t spend much time talking and I didn’t enjoy her cooking.

Eventually I decided that I no longer wanted to be associated with the people in my mother’s family: Eastern European Jews. Their heritage, religion, language, customs, and even their food, including my formerly beloved blintzes, had become embarrassing to me. I conveniently forgot about the hard work and sacrifices my family had made to give me the life that I was taking for granted. I forgot how my mother had paid for things – my cello lessons, an expensive private college, and financial support she gave me when I was having some significant personal struggles – not to mention unwavering moral support.

Years passed and the gulf between me and my mother widened. When my parents moved to Florida, I never made visiting them a priority although my mom took the time to visit me. When I was cast as a professional actor in plays in Boston and New York City, my mother always came to see my performances. After the shows she would meet me, give me a hug and, before I had a chance to ask what she thought of my performance, she would whisper in my ear, “You were the best one.”

When I started to participate in Instantaneous Transformation seminars with Ariel and Shya, I saw that I had preconceived notions of my mother. I didn’t see her as she was. I saw her as I thought she was. That’s not the same thing. My thoughts about her were colored by a filter, put in place by my disgruntled teenage self who’d been insecure and desperate to fit in. Once I saw this important distinction, I was able to truly listen to what Mom had to say and to see things from her perspective. I saw her loving nature and acts, both past and present, because they were no longer at odds with my own very strong point of view. I was suddenly able to remember the hugs as well as the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches with no crusts. I even remembered when I went through my “purple phase” and Mom knitted me a purple sweater. It was well made, but in retrospect it wasn’t a great color decision for me. As a result of my new perspective, our relationship became closer and sweeter.

My grandma Dora is long gone. My mother is ninety-one and her health and memory are fading. She’s confined to a wheelchair and although her long-term memory is generally good, her short-term memory is nonexistent. She remembers my Dad, but not that he’s been dead for twenty years.

I recently went down to Florida to visit her. At first she thought I was a doctor, which was not a total loss. I’m a lawyer and a literary agent, but she had dreamt of my becoming a doctor, and to her I was. She told me she’d enjoyed my comedy show the night before (I was a standup comedian several years ago) although she felt I went on a little too long. Of course there was no show, but she was happy, especially that she’d stayed at my friend Oprah’s apartment. I was pleased to learn that I am close friends with Oprah Winfrey.

I wasn’t upset with Mom’s confusion. As long as she wasn’t depressed or scared, I rolled with it, going along with her reality. But she wasn’t eating and her nurses and aides were concerned. An additional benefit of my participating in the Kanes’ seminars is that I’ve become very intuitive. More accurately, I’ve allowed my intuition to override what used to be my denial and doubt.

Flat Book Cover.jpgI knew in my gut that blintzes would reignite my mother’s appetite. I asked the medical professionals if there were concerns about fat, salt or any other nutritional caveats. They said my mother needed calories and, at this point, any were good. I went to a deli near my mom’s house and on the way home, my car was filled with the familiar aroma of blintzes and matzo ball soup. Images of my grandmother’s smile went through my mind. I heard the roar of the crowd at Yankee stadium as we walked through her Bronx neighborhood. Most importantly, I felt the lineage of love that traveled from Dora through my mother to me. Unexpected tears welled up as I drove the Florida roads, far from New York City. I was grateful I could allow myself the pleasure of those tears, the welling of love and affection. When my mother devoured two blintzes and smiled at me, my chest swelled with gratitude for Instantaneous Transformation. My heritage is rich and full of love and life. In that moment, I rediscovered that life is in the blintzes.

This is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, which is available wherever books are sold as of November 12, 2018.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYCGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books

Ageless Aging: Living Fully with a HEROIC Mindset By Marie Zimenoff

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Business
Ageless Aging: Living Fully with a HEROIC Mindset By Marie Zimenoff

With the “silver tsunami” describing dramatic demographic changes, reimagining choices about careers, retirement, and aging requires a HEROIC Mindset. Adopting a spirit of “ageless aging” retires tired norms of how we’re supposed to be. By adopting six actions we can reframe our “what’s next,” and live more fully with a greater sense of control. On this episode of the Career Confidante, host Marie Zimenoff welcomes careers-industry expert Rich Feller who will introduce the notion of “ageless aging,” walk through six actions to find new possibilities, and explain how a HEROIC mindset is the best insurance against change at work, learning, or loving. Regardless of our age we all have similar needs, a desire to seek more options, and a common aim to be more complete. Rich has a wealth of information and unending passion for this topic … this is a show you don’t want to miss!

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Dreamworking with Dr. Christopher Sowton, Living Longer Gratefully! By Cynthia Brian

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Empowerment
Dreamworking with Dr. Christopher Sowton, Living Longer Gratefully! By Cynthia Brian

Genetics account for only 25% of a person’s longevity. The rest is how you live your life. Learn tips from centenarians for a new model for aging.

Join Christopher Sowton as he shares five steps to receiving the inner guidance of our dreams: Catch, Clarify, Orient, Connect, Respond . With hands-on techniques, examples from the author’s psychotherapy practice, and guidance for working with fourteen common dream motifs, his book, Dreamworking–How to Listen to the Inner Guidance of Your Dreams, shows how to facilitate dreamwork for psychological and spiritual transformation.

When you affirm that the world is good and you recognize the sources of goodness are outside yourself, you’ll feel happier, healthier, and grateful. Set your intention to give thanks for everything you are and have. Cynthia Brian will help you appreciate the little things that matter.

Guest Bio: Dr. Christopher Sowton
Dr. Christopher Sowton ND RP is a naturopath and a psychotherapist. Based in Toronto, his practice focuses on dreamwork. Since 2003 Christopher has been training health care practitioners of all  kinds to integrate dreamwork into their practices. He is a member of  the IASD (International Association for the Study of Dreams) and has recently published a book—Dreamworking–How to Listen to the Inner Guidance of Your Dreams. http://www.christophersowton.com/

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Keeping Love Alive through Alzheimer’s By Dr. Paula joyce

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7th Wave
Keeping Love Alive through Alzheimer’s By Dr. Paula joyce

Dr. Gary Chapman—author, speaker, pastor, and counselor—has a passion for people and for helping them build lasting relationships. He is an internationally recognized marriage counselor and the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which has been translated into 50 languages and has sold more than 11 million copies worldwide. Now, Dr. Chapman has teamed up with health education specialist Deborah Barr, and physician and mental health counselor Edward Shaw, MD to write Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade: The 5 Love Languages and the Alzheimer’s Journey. The book offers an innovative new application of the five love languages as tools that can help us sustain an emotional relationship with a parent or partner with Alzheimer’s. Please visit Dr. Gary Chapman online at www.5LoveLanguages.com.
There’s a touching scene between a son and his aging mother in the new movie, Collateral Beauty. She starts a conversation that lacks a basis in current reality. Her son does something I’ve never seen before. Instead of trying to bring her back to his reality, he joins her fantasy world and keeps their connection alive with his open loving heart. He took what could have been a frustrating and potentially anger-filled interaction and made it into a joyful one. Alzheimer’s is a growing problem. Forty-seven million people worldwide are afflicted with the disease. It takes an enormous toll on the care-givers, who are usually the spouses or children. Most cannot afford private care and do not have access to paid social services. The result is that 40% of care-givers fall into a clinical depression. The positive feelings from a loving act reduce the patient’s agitation, which lightens the caregiver’s burden. Please join us Thursday to learn how to share love in a way that benefits everyone.

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Can you afford to live to be 120 and Healthy? by Dr. Mary Anne Chase

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Health & Wellness
Can you afford to live to be 120 and Healthy? by Dr. Mary Anne Chase

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There is a lot of talk about longevity, the cost and availability of sick-care, advances in medical technology, the expense of those advances, who can get the necessary sick-care now, the freedoms and restrictions on living freely, and who is in charge of your health.

Most people think of medical care after they become sick. Others of us use medical, scientific, spiritual, mental and emotional knowledge to maintain wellness

There you are, standing at the crossroads in your life, wondering how to improve in all areas of your life. Do you realize that life is synonymous with growth and is something you have been doing every day since you were conceived or do you take the path that says, “There is nothing you can do about your body. Your genes dictate your future. Let’s hope the doctors and pharmaceutical companies can give you what you need to stay alive.”

This talk explores these ideas and more.

Guest E. Thomas Costello better known as Tom is the founder of Live To Be 120 and Healthy.com

For more than a dozen years he was the head of the coaching program at The Healing Codes of Dr. Alex Loyd Services.

His life-long interest in human behavior and potential has made him a devoted student and expert in the ways to develop human consciousness to higher levels. The end result of which is greater health, peace, success and fulfillment of life’s purposes.

His very wide background in spiritual studies, business and personal coaching, sales, executive leadership, and the military provides a wealth of knowledge and experience. He has been committed to understanding and helping people healing since childhood. He comes from a family of spiritually and psychically developed people.

He has studied in a college of pharmacy for 3 years, had 6 years in the United States Army and was a Captain in the Special Forces (“Green Berets”), has over 20 years in sales and sales management in a Fortune 500 companies and as a partner in a small entrepreneurial company. He started his own Church of The Healing Spirit. Tom is schooled in EFT, TAT, BSFF, P.E.A.T, Gentle Touch and Touch Assist. He is also a master at Spirit Detachment.

Tom is the author of a children’s book set:  “Johnny Proboscis and his Four Extraordinary Pals” and a co-author of “A Guide to Getting it – Abundance”.

He is a recent widow when his wife, Mary Ann died suddenly in December 2015. Tom resides in Naples, Florida and Greenport, New York.  He has 4 children and 6 grandchildren.

Diabesity, Voice Aging, Easter by Cynthia Brian

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Empowerment
Diabesity, Voice Aging, Easter by Cynthia Brian

Easter Eggs-primrose, daf, hyacinth - 3

with Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® Radio brought to the airwaves under the auspices of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3 charity, LIVE, since 1998.

This hour is fun, informative, and lively. Join us!

Obesity and diabetes are symbiotic partners. What’s the link and how can you avoid both? Heather Brittany  gives you the vocabulary to steer clear of diabetes and obesity.

How old do you sound? Our voice ages like everything else on our body, but there are ways to keep a youthful sound. Broadcaster Cynthia Brian will share exercises that will help you keep from croaking out your words.

Children love Easter because the Easter Bunny arrives with lots of colored eggs. Learn the history behind the Easter holiday- biblical, pagan, and secular and enjoy the hunt.

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The award winning positive talk radio program, StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® broadcasts on the Voice America Empowerment Channel LIVE every Wednesday from 4-5pm Pt/7-8pm ET.  Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany are the Mother/Daughter dynamic duo who have been co-hosting this program live weekly since 1998 bringing upbeat, life enhancing conversation to the world. With Cynthia’s expertise in interviewing the trailblazers, authors, and experts and Heather’s healthy living segments, these Goddess Gals are your personal growth coaches helping you to jumpstart your life while igniting your flame of greatness. Brought to the airwaves under the auspices of the literacy and positive media charity, Be the Star You Are!®, each program will pump your energy to help you live, love, laugh, learn, and lead.
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Seventy is the New Fifty! by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave

2/3/16 – Seventy is the New Fifty!

In honor of Shya Kane’s 75th birthday, join Ariel & Shya Kane and special guest Pat Sayler (aged 73) as they discuss aging, retirement and growing more alive rather than less as time goes on. Tune in and bring urgency to this moment – before it’s too late!

Pat Sayler is the Former Chief Officer, Equi-librium, whose birthday is Feb 1st at which time she will turn 73. Pat is an avid equestrian among other talents, whose enthusiasm and passion for life is inspiring!

Shya Kane turns 75 this February and his energy and enthusiasm for life inspires people who are young enough to be his grandchildren. Leading transformational seminars for close to 40 years and award winning author of 5 books, his approach to living in the moment has touched the lives of millions.

Listen Live this Wednesday, February 3rd at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

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