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Shift. Shine. Inspire.

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Empowerment
Shift. Shine. Inspire.

It was such a pleasure to have Viviana Lahrs Gesyuk and Tahil Gesyuk, founders of Heart Source in Berkeley, as guests on SacredExploration (November 30), sharing their experience and wisdom about creating extraordinary relationships. We usually think of issues around ‘shining bright’ as an individual challenge or fear. But, one of the things that came up in our discussion was that even couples can be afraid to experience unknown levels of happiness, ecstasy, and prosperity. Naturally, before the couple can achieve new levels of experience, each of the individuals within it must own their own ability to shine bright. Following is a blog written by Viviana in 2016, illuminating the journey around recognizing the fact that we are all free to shine bright:

Shift. Shine. Inspire.

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Who will give me permission to shine? My whole life, for as long as I could remember, I had this ever present, unseen, unconscious feeling that I had to have permission from something or someone to let myself be seen, to shine, to get big, to follow my dreams and create and do what was my calling. Yet I didn’t quite know what my calling was or know that I was even waiting for permission.

One day about 9 years ago I was sitting in a huge hotel auditorium in Burlingame. I was a real estate agent and attempting to build my small empire of real estate sales. In this two day seminar, we were being shown how to manage our lives, our business and, most importantly, how to bring in clients, keep clients and make them happy. We learned minute details like what color our flyers should be for maximum visibility, how to make a weekly schedule to have successful time management, what kind of questions to ask… some good stuff, yet I found much of it boring. Then, on the last day in the last hours, we got to what lit me up. You know that time of a big seminar when the presenters invoke inspiration, joy, and hope? Tucked in the side flap of our folders was a card with a poem on it. We were asked to get that out and read it. In that moment, as tears started to build in my eyes, my body took a deep breath in and out, and I was inspired. I felt a bell ring and I resonated with it. This lit me up! This is what I wanted. This feeling. This knowing that I could shine and that I was allowed to do so. I had permission! I didn’t need to wait for anyone to tell me it was ok. And not only was it ok, but that by me shining, others would have permission, too! You mean that I can help others shine? I can give them permission? Whoa! This is good stuff! This is what I want in my life.

Fast forward almost 9 years. Here I am. Tingling energy rushes through me now as I write this, simultaneously experiencing that moment of aha 9 years ago and feeling where I am today and seeing where I am, how far I’ve come. Tears of gratitude. I am sitting in my Berkeley kitchen with inspiring music running in my living room while I work on my laptop. My beloved, Tahil, partner in life and business of nearly 6 years, doing his work in our bedroom. We are about to open up a new workshop center that is all about heart based workshops and trainings that offer skills and resources for having more love and light in life and relationships. I am sitting in front of people daily to inspire, influence, and offer them support in creating the lives they want. I do this through teaching yoga, writing our book, coaching clients and creating a center full of inspiring offerings for healthy, vibrant, love filled lives. And this lights me up. This feels good. And it’s my life.

I took the path that came before me, one hint, one poem, one therapy session, one coaching session, one yoga class, one training, one breakdown, one breakthrough, one aha, one decision at a time. It wasn’t an easy path. Much muck was waded through with old defiant patterns dug up, dissected, and eventually loved and let go. I let go of a lot. And I’ve learned so much. There is so much gratitude. It’s not easy to stand up to old grooves of family patterning and social stigmas. And I did it, still often looking around for permission… Can I do this? Really it is OK. I am doing it. I give myself permission. I do it. And so it is.

And so now, here I write, here I stand. Shining.

What was that poem that I read nine years ago?

You probably know it. If you do you know it, you know that it never ends to inspire. If you haven’t, let me introduce you. Either way, enjoy:

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” ― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Thank you for reading this post. I am honored to be seen in this way. And in whatever way you are inspired or whatever you notice when you read my writing or this precious poem from Marianne Williamson, I welcome you to share, write to me, post a comment. For when we share, we allow a piece of us to shine, be seen and inspire another.

Shine bright. Love fearlessly.

Much love and light,

Viviana

Viviana is a therapeutic yoga teacher, life and relationship coach, workshop facilitator, and co-founder of Heart Source. Her passion is supporting your self care while holding space and presence for growth and change. She teaches how to access and learn from the darker times in life for more resources, balance, and choice now. She weaves neuroscience and holistic body-mind wisdom to help you rewrite unwanted patterns and live in your full expression! To learn more about the offerings at “Heart Source” in Berkeley, please visit www.heartsource.center. Tahil and I are super happy and excited to shine here and offer space for others to shine even brighter.

Note: Since the time of Viviana’s blog, she and Tahil got married! Talking about shining bright!

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Authenticity and Reflection are Keys to Leadership Success

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Business
Authenticity and Reflection are Keys to Leadership Success

This blog is a collaboration between guest blogger, BirchReports and Maureen Metcalf, CEO Metcalf & Associates and Voice America show host. It is a companion to the Voice America Interview Building Leadership Self-Awareness using Leadership Type with Belinda Gore.

Abraham Lincoln is known for the emancipation of slaves and preserving the Union during the Civil Was. However, did you know that before he entered politics and was elected president, he experienced two business venture failures and lost eight different elections? If not for his persistence, humility, and ability to learn from his mistakes, he would not have managed to continue after multiple defeats, and the America we know today may be entirely different.

What does this story tell us? It’s that self-awareness and self-confidence demand that you learn from everything you do and are the drivers pushing you forward in pursuit of your dreams. Self-awareness and self-confidence allow you to build on successes as well as turn failures into future successes. Humility is a result of being aware of your own foibles.

When you can look honestly at your strengths as well as your weaknesses, you’re able to focus on the organization’s greater good rather than personal gain. It is vital in business where change is rapid and ongoing, and where what worked in the past often doesn’t work in the same way it once did. Your future success requires authenticity and your ability to learn from every interaction, and it largely depends on your capacity to build relationships with a broad range of people—whether you are an employee or an entrepreneur. Authenticity and relationships evolve from a sense of self—from self-awareness, self-confidence—and a healthy dose of humility. While self-confidence and humility can seem in opposition, they need to be balanced with finesse because they show up as two sides of the image you project.

We recommend using assessments to help leaders build self-awareness. Metcalf + Associates offers an Innovative Leadership assessment and a Resilience assessment. In addition, the Sofia Wellness Clinic offers a wide range of self-scoring tools to promote self-awareness and wellbeing.

In the Leader 2050 blog, we talked about competency model for leaders of the future, the details about specific behaviors associated with humility, authenticity, and self-awareness, and the importance of collaboration.
To initiate contact with like-minded individuals, you need to put yourself forward, out there—and this requires self-confidence.

So, the next question might be, how do you build your confidence? As with other skills, it does not develop overnight. Instead, you need to build it over time. Below are some things to remember in building self-confidence.
Confidence starts from within and with self-awareness. Confidence is anchored in how you see yourself. In many instances, lack of confidence is rooted in self-doubt. Inc magazine says that having a negative mindset may lead to self-sabotage because you are effectively telling yourself that you cannot accomplish a goal even before you start working toward it. To put it simply, you’re setting yourself up for failure. By developing a practice such as mindfulness, you will be able to increase your self-awareness and increase your capacity to replace self-sabotage with confident self-perception. The video, “Building Resilience: Six Steps to Managing Negative Thinking” is a tool to help you identify and effectively navigate self-destructive thinking when it occurs.

Another option to build self-awareness is a self-evaluation in which you explore the areas in which you lack confidence—and the reasons for your lack of self-assurance. Once you recognize the reasons, determine which ones you can address through mindfulness and managing your thinking. One of the recommendations in the video includes shifting from negative thinking to gratitude. By focusing on what is working and what you’re grateful for—a solid intellect, a well-prepared presentation, the love you feel from friends, family, and colleagues who support you—you will have a more positive outlook. Every time you start to have negative thoughts, use the process in this video to minimize the impact of negative thinking and to increase your self-confidence. This shift requires constant self-awareness and management of your thought process. It is astounding how a small change in mindset and thinking can contribute significantly to your ability to learn from every interaction rather than getting discouraged and losing confidence.

What is often perceived as confidence has to do with how other people perceive you. Networking Times published an anecdote about a woman who gained self-confidence by acting like a confident person. Eventually, she managed to be the same person inside as she appeared on the outside. Being able to act with confidence and manage inner conversations that undermine your image starts with self-awareness and self-management. The concept is not a new one. For years we’re heard about the value of role-playing. It is a process that can take a significant amount of inner work, particularly during those times when self-doubt ebbs and flows.

How can someone’s perception make another more confident? A great portion of what people consider confidence has to do with how you project yourself to others around you. Your appearance, body language, and tone of voice already give others an idea of how you are feeling and what you are thinking, even without listening to the words you are saying. If all three do not inspire trust, then it’s less likely that the person you are conversing with will not hear what you have to say—because you may be giving the message that you are not confident with an idea, service, or product that you are trying to get others to buy in to. In a nutshell, we project to each other. If I present myself as confident and capable, and you perceive me as such, it is mirrored back to me and gives me greater confidence.

As a leader, exhibiting low confidence may also decrease your employees’ self-assurance in their performance of tasks as well. In contrast, if you demonstrate appropriate self-confidence—holding your head high, sitting or standing straight, and speaking assertively instead of haltingly—you are more likely to catch the attention of other people, and you are also more likely to be heard. Self-confidence is an interesting topic when combined with professional humility. In the blog focusing on the Leadership 2050 competencies, we talk about the first competency being professional humility. Like many facets of leadership, it is imperative for leaders to find the best balance between appropriate humility and self-confidence. As we prove ourselves over the course of our careers, it is easier to be humble and self-confident because we already have a strong reputation—and because we have a better understanding of the mistakes we’ve made and can measure our growth over time. Entrepreneur provides some tips that you can follow to help you present yourself with confidence to other people.

Confidence requires preparation. Think about public speakers you hold in high regard. Chances are, you admire them for their confidence and for being knowledgeable about the topics they discuss. The thing is, these speakers did a lot of preparation, including intensive studying, to become well-informed about the subject they approach. It is hard to manage how we are going to feel (self-confident) in a stressful situation, and preparation is a great countermeasure to reduce the number of things that could potentially go wrong. It is tough to be confident when you are running late, get lost, spill coffee on yourself, or realize you don’t know as much about your topic or the audience as you should. Allowing appropriate time to prepare pays great dividends in bolstering confidence. Investing time in preparation will allow you to become more knowledgeable about the topics and people with whom you are talking.

Get Feedback. Lincoln was a man of integrity who used a journal for self-reflection and sought the opinions of others. If there are areas where you believe you may need to build skills to feel confident and perform well, seek feedback from your mentors or colleagues. Often, we build our skills before we feel confident. It takes skill to see ourselves the way others see us, so getting ongoing feedback allows us to calibrate our sense of self with how others see us. Accurate self-awareness is one of the most important skills in leadership because if we are unaware of how others see us, we miss important cues. Self-awareness, self-confidence, and humility are intertwined. As leaders, we need to continually practice and evolve these skills.

To become a more innovative leader, please consider our online leader development program. For additional tools, we recommend taking leadership assessments, using the Innovative Leadership Fieldbook and Innovative Leaders Guide to Transforming Organizations, and adding coaching to our online innovative leadership program. We also offer several workshops to help you build these skills.

COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION: HOW TO STAND OUT AND OPEN DOORS THROUGH YOUR WRITTEN WORD by Hemda Mizrahi and Elaine Rosenblum

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COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION: HOW TO STAND OUT AND OPEN DOORS THROUGH YOUR WRITTEN WORD by Hemda Mizrahi and Elaine Rosenblum

Elaine Rosenblum Head Shot

How can you negotiate better, improve your self-presentation skills, and prevent misunderstandings that may emerge from e-communications, such as texting and emailing? Elaine Rosenblum, JD, an expert in COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION, joined me on “Turn the Page” to share tactics that will enable you to open doors through your written and spoken words.

Listen to our conversation to hear the full range of her suggestions and illustrations.

Elaine states, “To avoid potential miscommunication, SPECIFICITY is as important as shifting from judgmental to neutral language, especially in texting or emailing people you don’t know well, or in professional interactions.”

She provides two examples:

MICHAEL, AN EMORY MBA STUDENT PITCHING HIMSELF FOR A JOB
Elaine suggests to Michael: Instead of  “I think I have the skills to do this job,” let your interviewers know, “I am an Emory MBA with four years of beverage marketing experience at Coca Cola and Starbucks. I can conduct business in English, French and Spanish.”

FROM INDIANA UNIVERSITY TO GOLDMAN SACHS
“Young people interviewing for first jobs typically only have internship experience and minimal workplace skills. It’s imperative for recent or soon-to-be grads to understand “transferable skills” and articulate what makes them uniquely interesting. This Indiana student was a poker prodigy at nine. Few college juniors can own this proposition. Poker also has transferable skills to Wall Street. The Goldman feedback was that telling an engaging “story” about his “poker gift” is what set him apart and landed him the “long-shot” position.  Even seasoned executives have to work to maintain their specificity when articulating.”

MORE ON SPECIFICITY
“Using “them,” “it,” or “that” as reference points in texting may not provide adequate context. While it takes more actual texting words, directly stating time and place or redefining who “them” or what “it” or “that” is can prevent misunderstandings.”

Elaine offers three examples:
Revise “What time are you meeting them?” to “What time are you meeting Susie and Tom tonight?”

Change “What’s bothering you about the erupting situation?” to “What exactly concerns you about the disagreement between Susie and Tom that seemed to arise at the party on Saturday night?”

Instead of “Do you plan to do that?” state “Do you plan to attend the 7:00 pm San Francisco trip meeting on Tuesday, 4/3?”

BOND IN WRITING…AND FACE-TO-FACE
“While verbal communication typically evaporates after we say it, written communications survive and can serve as meaningful reference points. Communicating with clarity is a leadership skill and way of standing out in a professional world that demands immediate communication and moves too quickly. In personal relationships, SPECIFICITY builds invaluable trust and enhances the bonding that we crave and continually seek out on social media.”

In emphasizing how we can communicate to avoid unnecessary conflict and strengthen interpersonal connections, Elaine suggests that we avoid OVERRELYING on the written word: “The emotional satisfaction of a face-to-face conversation is difficult to replicate on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat.”

RESOURCES THAT WILL GUIDE YOU TO “YES”
Improve your outcomes by going deeper in honing your collaborative communication skills. Elaine recommends: “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Uri; “Alone Together” by Sherry Turkle; and the ProForm U™ blog by Elaine Rosenblum.

Learn about ProFormU™, Elaine’s consulting and mentoring firm, which “teaches students and professionals at all levels to articulate, collaborate and negotiate in virtually any setting.”

While we focused on the tactic of specificity in this post, Elaine shares other requirements and nuances of collaborative communication in our conversation on “Turn the Page.” Here’s the link for you to listen now.

How You Can Become a Peak-Performing Person and Leader: Tackling Taboo Realities Like Sexual Violence and Tobacco Use Head-On by Hemda Mizrahi

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How You Can Become a Peak-Performing Person and Leader: Tackling Taboo Realities Like Sexual Violence and Tobacco Use Head-On by Hemda Mizrahi

Peter Prichard Photo Cropped Sarah Beaulieu Photo Cropped

Leadership and social change experts Peter Prichard and Sarah Beaulieu joined me on “Turn the Page” to discuss two taboo topics—tobacco use and sexual violence. In sharing compelling personal stories that galvanized their social change missions, Peter and Sarah demonstrate how truth-telling can empower you to become a peak-performing person and leader who chooses to make a difference

Sarah and Peter extended their information sharing after the show to provide you with additional support and encouragement.

SEXUAL VIOLENCE IS NOT JUST A WOMEN’S ISSUE.
Sarah notes, “One challenge with sexual violence is that many people view it as a “women’s issue.” Sexual violence directly impacts about one out of four women AND one out of six men in the United States. You can learn more about the facts surrounding men and sexual violence at: http://theenlivenproject.com/convo-graphic-the-truth-about-men-and-sexual-violence/

OPPORTUNITIES FOR YOU TO CONTRIBUTE TO SOLUTIONS
Sarah is working on a book to help men support survivors of sexual violence in their lives and become stronger champions for sexual violence. If you’d like to contribute your perspective to this book, please complete her men’s survey and invite your colleagues and friends to do the same

She shares a few of the many practical ways that you can support stigmatized issues like sexual violence without re-vamping your company’s community relations efforts: follow an anti-sexual violence organization on social media; sponsor a table at a fundraising event; or provide skilled volunteer support to group that works directly with survivors.

She also suggests exploring how sexual violence might intersect with issues that you or your employer already support, citing the following examples: “while childhood exposure to sexual violence can impact your physical and mental health (http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy), few organizations that focus on heart disease, diabetes, or obesity view sexual violence prevention and response as a part of their own work to eliminate these chronic conditions.

Similarly, sexual abuse or assault at home drives many adolescents into the foster care system, or homelessness, which in turn places them at higher risk. Groups committed to ending homelessness for teens ought to consider sexual violence prevention as a part of their strategy. Finally, sexual violence prevention can help to increase rates of high school graduation. According to America’s Promise Alliance (http://www.americaspromise.org), students need safe spaces and social supports to learn and thrive. That includes a home and school life free of sexual violence.”

WANT TO TAKE ON TOUGH CHALLENGES? Peter advises:

CREATE A STATEMENT OF PURPOSE THAT WILL DIRECT YOUR LIFE.
“In my experience as a leadership development consultant and career coach, individuals who create a specific statement about who they are and what they represent are better positioned to tackle taboo realities or other difficult situations that confront them.” He references Stephen Covey’s best-selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” as a valuable resource for creating a personal mission statement (refer to Covey’s chapter on Habit 2, “Begin with the end in mind.”). In Covey’s words, here’s what this declaration can do for you: “Once you have that sense of mission, you have the essence of your own proactivity. You have the vision and the values, which direct your life.  You have the basic direction from which you set your long-and short-term goals.”

BUILD RESILIENCY THAT IS GROUNDED IN SELF-AWARENESS.
Peter recommends Dr. Al Siebert’s book, “The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks,” and the confidential, free-of-charge, Resiliency Quiz available through Dr. Siebert’s site, www.resiliencycenter.com. The quiz will help you to identify and enhance the behaviors through which you respond to challenges.

ENSURE THAT YOUR AMBITION SERVES YOUR CAUSE & YOUR TEAM.
Referring to a June 2006 Harvard Business Review article entitled “Leadership Run Amok: The Destructive Potential of Overachievers,” Peter cautions: “Many overachievers act in a way that lessens positive feelings in others.” He points to the research of Jim Collins in his monograph “Good to Great and the Social Sectors,” which describes the most effective Level 5 Leaders as “ambitious first and foremost for the cause, the movement, the mission, the work—not themselves.”

WHAT SKILLS DO YOU BRING TO THE REALITIES YOU FACE?
Understanding what you have to offer is foundational to leading yourself and others through difficult change initiatives. Peter’s websites offer tools through which you can inventory the range of competencies that will enable you to contribute to a positive result:
www.makebigtobaccounprofitable.com  AND  www.workforthecommongood.com.

CREATE A BRAIN-HEALTHY LIFESTYLE PLAN.
Peter identifies Dr. Paul Bendheim’s, book “The Brain Training Revolution: A Proven Workout for Healthy Brain Functioning,” as a comprehensive, well-researched, and practical guide for accessing your mental capacity to confront challenges. Regardless of the resources you choose to engage, designing a lifestyle that enhances your physical and mental functioning will equip you to contribute to the common good more effectively and over a longer period of time.”

A MESSAGE FROM SARAH ABOUT WHAT’S POSSIBLE FOR YOU TOO
“Facing a traumatic experience like sexual violence has taught me about resilience and strength, and enhanced my ability to support others in their leadership pathways.”

READ ON.
Peter’s own mission statement is reflected in two books that he’s written to bring into focus realities surrounding sexual violence and tobacco use amongst teens, and solutions: “Dawn of Hope” AND “Dawn of the Tobacco Wars: The Sequel to Dawn of Hope”.

We all have at least one torch to light! Sarah and Peter have inspired me to light mine! How about you? Listen to our conversation and learn more

How You & Your Child Can Thrive Through Personal Style by Hemda Mizrahi

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How You & Your Child Can Thrive Through Personal Style by Hemda Mizrahi

How can you present a true, clear message about who you are, both at home and at work? Personal Style Coach Allison Hamilton-Rohe reveals her formula during a guest appearance on my Internet radio show, “Turn the Page”

Our dialogue about launching you on your style journey continued after the show, when Allison offered an example of powerful personal style: “Look at the amazing Duchess of Windsor, whose husband literally gave up his kingdom and chose exile over life without her. While she was not a “classic” beauty, her charisma and appeal were undeniable — especially for her King!” This is one of the ways that personal style is distinct from fashion. The common personal style thread across your lifetime is YOU, what flatters and matters to you most, what you aspire to be and do.

Once you experience how the language of style can move you past image anxiety and into a more fulfilling reality, you’ll appreciate the benefits of discovering it earlier in life. Hopefully, this will motivate you to pass the learning onto younger generations, including your children and grandchildren.

Allison references Carol Dweck’s book, “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success,” in identifying ways you can support your child in achieving a positive self-image. Dr. Dweck’s research indicates that 40% of your happiness is a product of how you see yourself, and the corresponding choices you make.

As a parent or guardian, how can you help your youngster to look and feel good? These are strategies that Allison’s own kids have embraced:

ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.
The number one thing you want to encourage, instill and empower your children to feel towards themselves, their bodies AND their style is love. You can do this any number of ways!

GIVE CONFIDENCE-BOOSTING COMPLIMENTS.
Dr. Dweck suggests offering process rather than person praise. This involves acknowledging repeatable behaviors that can reinforce a praiseworthy character trait, skill, action, or outcome. For example, rather than saying “you look pretty,” be specific about what you appreciate: “I love how those barrettes bring out the sky blue color of your eyes.”  A statement like this encourages your child to feel proud about doing something well. In contrast, “person praise” can create self-doubt when something goes awry, like the physical changes and emotional reactions that might occur at the onset of puberty!

INSIST ON LOVE.
When you’re shopping with your children or going through their wardrobes, only buy/keep things they love.  If they need a new coat, find a coat they love.  If you have a sense of their style and size, shop online with them.  You might select a few items and then ask them to look at the order before making the purchase. Ask them one question only: “Do you love what I’ve picked out for you?” If they say no, delete it. No exceptions. This sets a precedent that style is something that feels good and they can enjoy.

MAINTAIN STANDARDS.
It’s okay to insist that your children brush their hair and teeth, clean their bodies, and wear clothes that aren’t ripped. This is basic grooming. It’s important to teach your children these habits early on so they’re prepared when the time comes for them to “dress to impress.” It may take energy and patience, and consistent practice works.

Allison shares a personal illustration: “I posted a picture checklist by my kids’ door that I ask them to check everyday. They receive a star each time they complete their list. When they master a skill, I give them a bonus and we celebrate. Now, if I notice they forgot to brush their hair, all I have to say is, “Checklist?” and they go, “Oh!  Whoops!” and run back upstairs.” This tactic can be adapted to the specifics of your household. If you have a special needs child, creating a visual map of the checklist and breaking down tasks can be helpful. Teaching basic self-care is deeply important to preparing a child to be an independent adult.

ALLOW FOR PLAY.
If you’re dressing up for a party and your child is dying to wear a dress that’s a bit over-the-top, or put on lipstick, don’t sweat it.  If your kid puts on a shirt and pants that don’t match well and he’s three, let it go! If your son wears pink or your daughter wears combat boots, offer the freedom of experimentation. Allison reflects on rejoicing in her daughter’s self-expression: “I bought my daughter a button that read, “I dressed myself today. I loved posting her wacky outfits on Facebook.” Style can be fun and it allows kids to play with who they want to be. Allow your kids to enjoy it!

ENCOURAGE SELF-EXPRESSION.
Your kid is going to be who she is. If you do your job well, she’ll value her unique qualities and use them to propel her purpose in the world. If your kids settle into a style that unsettles you, have a conversation about the power of style and what it means for first impressions.  Allow your children to be in control of the message, and check in to ensure it’s the message they truly want to send. If not, work with them to change it. If your son loves his style and it STILL unsettles you, enlist a family therapist to address the underlying issues both for you and your child.

Identifying with any of these strategies as ones you’d like to adopt for yourself? Go for it!  Your example is the best guide for your children. If you’re kind to yourself, insist on love, maintain standards, allow yourself to play, and encourage your own self-expression through style, they will, too!

If you need expert guidance along the way, contact Allison through www.dailyoutfit.com. Mention this blog in booking a session on the “Work With Me” page of her site, and read on through her free newsletter and blog posts, including this one on “back-to-school” shopping sprees: http://www.dailyoutfit.com/2014/08/top-10-tips-to-make-back-to-school.html

If you haven’t yet listened to Allison’s guest appearance on my show, we invite you to learn about the three key components of her personal style formula. Find out how personal style can work for you

Why Are You Fighting the Inevitable?

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Empowerment
Why Are You Fighting the Inevitable?

When we fight the inevitable, we are delaying our destiny. If something is clearly over and you are clinging to it despite the pain it is causing you, you are doing yourself an injustice. Don’t stick around trying to fix what is clearly broken. Know that you deserve the best and don’t settle for less. ‘Letting go’ is not ‘giving up. Don’t waste your time in mediocrity when you were meant for GREATNESS.

There are so many emotions on the path to greatness and living an authentic life. I think all of us can identify a time where we stayed in a job or a relationship hoping it would just resolve itself over time, and we lived life for a while feeling “stuck.” Think back to that time in your life. Did you feel grateful? Overjoyed? Probably not. Why? Because you were living a life of mediocrity. You weren’t living life wholeheartedly. Your true purpose in life was not being fulfilled. You were most likely afraid to step out of your comfort zone on the path to achieving more until things became so bad that you felt you had no choice. This can be a lifetime for some. Wasted time in that case. For others, maybe the lesson far outweighed the short struggle. Either way…our awareness of these circumstances and our courage to achieve more is a huge feat. Keep Going. Each step may get harder but don’t stop. The view at the top is BEAUTIFUL.

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