Tag Archives

8 Articles

Love Not Bullying

Posted by Cynthia Brian on
Love Not Bullying

Love Versus Bullying

Share Your Heart!

18 hr ago



Miracle Moment®

“Do not waste time bothering whether you

“love” your neighbor; act as if you did. . .

When you are behaving as if you loved someone

you will presently come to love him.” ~ C.S Lewis


A Message from Founder/Executive Director, Cynthia Brian

February…the month that Cupid shoots an arrow of love and acceptance and everyone becomes kind to one another. Except, that is not the case. As much as we talk about love and being loving, fear, hate, and bullying persist, often with deadly consequences.

A couple of months ago, my newest children’s book, No Barnyard Bullies, was published with proceeds benefitting Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3 charity. It is a true story that revolves around three main animals: a pampered piglet, a three-legged goat, and a tiny lopped-eared rabbit. The pampered piglet was adopted into my barnyard and immediately stared terrorizing the little goat who was born with only three legs.  The additional barnyard inhabitants of chickens, ducks, geese, goats, and rabbits feared this new addition and didn’t help Tripod, the goat, or intervene to stop the bullying. One day the tiniest bunny of the bunch decided he was going to stand up to the bully in the barnyard. I had never seen a rabbit fight, but Monet, the bunny, was fearsome. Every time that Cookie, the piglet, attempted to harm Tripod, the goat, Monet flew into action to stop him. Monet began guarding Tripod day and night until the other barnyard critters stood up to the mean piglet as well. Cookie learned that if she wanted to assimilate into this new world, she would have to be kind and loving. It took time, but today, Cookie is a humungous hog and the sweetest animal in the barnyard, even giving piggyback rides to all of her new friends.

Bullies are made, they are not born mean and spiteful. Bullying doesn’t just appear, it emerges. When children grow up in an environment where criticism, insults, mockery, physical abuse, or a lack of empathy are present, instead of being loving individuals, they may grow up to be bullies, bystanders, or in some cases, the victims of bullying. Children respond to the dominant parenting style they experience.

As parents, caregivers, educators, coaches, and others who interact with children, it is our responsibility to model behavior that is loving, kind, inclusive, and respectful. We have the power to intercede before bullying occurs to help our children learn healthy ways of interacting with others. No person needs to be a bully, a bystander, or a victim.

We must all stand up for love.

I have learned numerous lessons from being observant of the animal kingdom. When love is the principal ingredient, everyone prospers. Life is sweeter and peaceful.

This week I was interviewed by Florida’s most popular garden expert, Teresa Watkins, on the issue of bullying. Tune in at https://audioboom.com/posts/8245921-better-lawns-and-gardens-hour-2-cynthia-brian-no-barnyard-bullies-february-11-2023.


Let’s stop bullying, be empathetic, and share the love.

Remember: Love yourself first.

Have a Happy Valentine’s Day.

With gratitude,

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556




DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Sponsor Books to Prevent Bullying

Would you like to do your part to stop bullying behavior? Be the Star You Are!® is seeking sponsors to buy the book, No Barnyard Bullies, in bulk at a discount to be distributed to schools and organizations. Our Kindness Coordinator, Karen Kitchel, bought books for every child in a kindergarten class and the teacher created a lesson around the theme. The result was kids cared more for one another. If you would like to scatter kindness and sponsor books for a school or organization of your choice, please email Cynthia Brian at cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org for more information. Let’s spread love not hate.

Moraga Faire is Returning on April 29th

The last Morage Faire was held in 2019 as the pandemic stopped all in-person events. But, it will again be a day of celebration on Saturday, April 29th, and Be the Star You Are!® charity is excited to participate. If you want to participate in our booth by volunteering or sponsoring, contact us! We welcome you! Mark your calendars as this is a very fun, family faire!

When Quiet is not Peace

By Natalie Hsu

I grew up as a quiet child. And yet, I would never have described myself as quiet.

I didn’t speak often, but I lived in my head and was always lost in my thoughts. Had you asked me back then for the reason, I would have said that the world in my brain was simply a more interesting place. The only issue was, the people around me mistook my silence for a stubborn peacefulness and assumed me to be impenetrably calm. They didn’t know that everything in my head was always loud and confusing, swarming with thoughts that I never felt I could express.

From that period of my life, I learned that quietness does not always signify peace. As we face the world today, we must remember: peace is not the absence of violence or sound, but the presence of kindness and love; peace is not living without tumult, but living despite it and helping others to do the same.

It starts with one. One heart, one smile, one kind word, one book, that might spread the peace a little further.

Natalie Hsu is a teenage writer who volunteers with BTSYA from the San Francisco Bay Area whose goal is to spread kindness, one word at a time. When she’s not writing, she loves playing the piano, reading classic literature, and painting. 

Amazon Smile Terminating

Along with other numerous grassroots nonprofits, Be the Star You Are!® was saddened to learn that the Amazon Smile program is ending on February 20th. Although Amazon gave a tiny percentage of each Amazon Smile purchase to the designated charity, pennies added to dollars. You have a few more days to shop through Amazon Smile while donating. Going forward, another great option for your purchases is to use IGIVE where over 2000 stores are featured with extra savings coupons for you. They are currently offering a $5.00 bonus donation through March 1. https://www.iGive.com/BTYSA

Reading in Community

by Julia Howe

Google “book communities,”  and over 2,020,000,000 results appear.

You’re just one *click* away from reading “alone” to reading “together.”

Welcome to the online bookworm community, where millions of avid readers swap insights about everything from The Great Gatsby to the newest Percy Jackson! Places like Litsy are brimming with book clubs built by book lovers scattered across the globe, all embarking on a shared journey through the pages.

Stop by a site for burnt-out bookworms challenging each other to a Bronte-A-Day book challenge. Skim Goodreads reviews, each gushing bibliophile inviting you into new reading adventures.

Recently, I discovered the user who had completely changed the way I saw Dune was from Amsterdam. 5000+ miles bridged by a discussion between two voracious readers.

Bookhounds thrive in these communities, diverse in background but connected by a shared love of good books. Make 2023 your mission to enter this new world of reading!

Julia Howe is a teen reader, BTSYA Book Reviewer, and writer, passionate about youth mental health and literacy. She loves exploring innovative education methods and running long distances.

Be the Star You Are!® Honored as TOP NONPROFIT for 2023

For numerous consecutive years, Be the Star You Are!® has earned the honor of being a TOP NON PROFIT. Read what the public, donors, and volunteers are saying about their experiences in collaborating with Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3. Join our Community of Stars! Congratulations to all! Small and mighty!

Do You Want to Help? Here are lots of ways to make a difference.

  • Donate goods that can be auctioned off at an event
  • Make BTSYA a beneficiary of your UNITED WAY donation
  • Sponsor an event making the charitable beneficiary
  • Buy or Sell on eBay through GivingWorks
  • Shop online at thousands of stores by using one of these sites that give back:


Amazon Books


                Giving Assistant


Humble Bundle Digital Content

  • #Giving Tuesday PayPal adds 1%, Donate at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504
  • Volunteer time
  • Become a Benefactor
  • Establish A Charitable Giving Account with an Investment Firm in the name of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3
  • Donate rent money for our storage space

Please join our Galaxy of Stars and support BE THE STAR YOU ARE!® with your contributions and/or ask your company to be on our team. Visit our creative community at http://www.BTSYA.org for book reviews, news items, newsletters, and press pass clips.

Small DONATIONS Make a Big Difference to Others:

Decrease Violence. Increase Literacy.

$25 provides 5 new books.

$50 provides 12 new books.

$100 provides 28 new books.

Donate via Paypal Giving Fund


or Visit Https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org



PO Box 376,

Moraga, California 94556

Make a donation via Paypal Giving Fund

View a partial list of beneficiaries we have served.

All donations are tax-deductible according to law. A tax receipt will be emailed to you for all donations over $25.00

Spreading love, kindness, and inclusivity. Happy Heartfelt February!

Share StarStyle® Empowerment


Knowing You Are Good Enough with Barbara Jaffe by Dr Paula Joyce

Posted by Editor on
Knowing You Are Good Enough with Barbara Jaffe by Dr Paula Joyce

Barbara Jaffe received her doctorate in Education from UCLA. She’s a Tenured Professor of English at El Camino College, in Torrance, CA where she teaches literature and composition. Her focus is on helping students find their voice as a writer and teaching other instructors how to do the same. Dr. Jaffe received awards for Outstanding Woman of the Year and Distinguished Teacher of the Year from her college. Her doctoral research focused on teacher training for basic writing instructors, combining writing pedagogy with personal success strategies. She also teaches about the Holocaust. Barbara studied at Washington D.C.’s Holocaust Museum and did advanced work at USC’s Shoah Foundation where she learned how to integrate survivor testimonies within her writing courses. She is a docent at the Museum of Tolerance in Los Angeles and her new book is When Will I Be Good Enough? Visit her at www.barbaraannjaffe.com

Ninety percent of our self-talk is negative. Whether or not you think you have problems with not feeling good enough, this statistic tells us that all of us are constantly judging ourselves and rarely do we meet the impossibly high standards that we set for ourselves. Many of us learn to survive by being people pleasers or masking our low self-esteem or self-confidence with workaholism or a long list of accomplishments. The problem is that our public image doesn’t match our self-image. Whether our difficulties stem from an alcoholic or abusive parent, our gender or birth order or body size, a school bully, being a replacement child or not measuring up to some parental ideal, in the end, we must take responsibility for our own mental and emotional health. We all have the capability of learning to love, respect and nurture ourselves. When we do this, everything changes and the doors to an amazing life open wide. Please join us Thursday to learn how you can choose to be good enough.

More Here!

How You Can Become a Peak-Performing Person and Leader: Tackling Taboo Realities Like Sexual Violence and Tobacco Use Head-On by Hemda Mizrahi

Posted by Editor on
How You Can Become a Peak-Performing Person and Leader: Tackling Taboo Realities Like Sexual Violence and Tobacco Use Head-On by Hemda Mizrahi

Peter Prichard Photo Cropped Sarah Beaulieu Photo Cropped

Leadership and social change experts Peter Prichard and Sarah Beaulieu joined me on “Turn the Page” to discuss two taboo topics—tobacco use and sexual violence. In sharing compelling personal stories that galvanized their social change missions, Peter and Sarah demonstrate how truth-telling can empower you to become a peak-performing person and leader who chooses to make a difference

Sarah and Peter extended their information sharing after the show to provide you with additional support and encouragement.

Sarah notes, “One challenge with sexual violence is that many people view it as a “women’s issue.” Sexual violence directly impacts about one out of four women AND one out of six men in the United States. You can learn more about the facts surrounding men and sexual violence at: http://theenlivenproject.com/convo-graphic-the-truth-about-men-and-sexual-violence/

Sarah is working on a book to help men support survivors of sexual violence in their lives and become stronger champions for sexual violence. If you’d like to contribute your perspective to this book, please complete her men’s survey and invite your colleagues and friends to do the same

She shares a few of the many practical ways that you can support stigmatized issues like sexual violence without re-vamping your company’s community relations efforts: follow an anti-sexual violence organization on social media; sponsor a table at a fundraising event; or provide skilled volunteer support to group that works directly with survivors.

She also suggests exploring how sexual violence might intersect with issues that you or your employer already support, citing the following examples: “while childhood exposure to sexual violence can impact your physical and mental health (http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/acestudy), few organizations that focus on heart disease, diabetes, or obesity view sexual violence prevention and response as a part of their own work to eliminate these chronic conditions.

Similarly, sexual abuse or assault at home drives many adolescents into the foster care system, or homelessness, which in turn places them at higher risk. Groups committed to ending homelessness for teens ought to consider sexual violence prevention as a part of their strategy. Finally, sexual violence prevention can help to increase rates of high school graduation. According to America’s Promise Alliance (http://www.americaspromise.org), students need safe spaces and social supports to learn and thrive. That includes a home and school life free of sexual violence.”


“In my experience as a leadership development consultant and career coach, individuals who create a specific statement about who they are and what they represent are better positioned to tackle taboo realities or other difficult situations that confront them.” He references Stephen Covey’s best-selling book, “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” as a valuable resource for creating a personal mission statement (refer to Covey’s chapter on Habit 2, “Begin with the end in mind.”). In Covey’s words, here’s what this declaration can do for you: “Once you have that sense of mission, you have the essence of your own proactivity. You have the vision and the values, which direct your life.  You have the basic direction from which you set your long-and short-term goals.”

Peter recommends Dr. Al Siebert’s book, “The Resiliency Advantage: Master Change, Thrive Under Pressure, and Bounce Back From Setbacks,” and the confidential, free-of-charge, Resiliency Quiz available through Dr. Siebert’s site, www.resiliencycenter.com. The quiz will help you to identify and enhance the behaviors through which you respond to challenges.

Referring to a June 2006 Harvard Business Review article entitled “Leadership Run Amok: The Destructive Potential of Overachievers,” Peter cautions: “Many overachievers act in a way that lessens positive feelings in others.” He points to the research of Jim Collins in his monograph “Good to Great and the Social Sectors,” which describes the most effective Level 5 Leaders as “ambitious first and foremost for the cause, the movement, the mission, the work—not themselves.”

Understanding what you have to offer is foundational to leading yourself and others through difficult change initiatives. Peter’s websites offer tools through which you can inventory the range of competencies that will enable you to contribute to a positive result:
www.makebigtobaccounprofitable.com  AND  www.workforthecommongood.com.

Peter identifies Dr. Paul Bendheim’s, book “The Brain Training Revolution: A Proven Workout for Healthy Brain Functioning,” as a comprehensive, well-researched, and practical guide for accessing your mental capacity to confront challenges. Regardless of the resources you choose to engage, designing a lifestyle that enhances your physical and mental functioning will equip you to contribute to the common good more effectively and over a longer period of time.”

“Facing a traumatic experience like sexual violence has taught me about resilience and strength, and enhanced my ability to support others in their leadership pathways.”

Peter’s own mission statement is reflected in two books that he’s written to bring into focus realities surrounding sexual violence and tobacco use amongst teens, and solutions: “Dawn of Hope” AND “Dawn of the Tobacco Wars: The Sequel to Dawn of Hope”.

We all have at least one torch to light! Sarah and Peter have inspired me to light mine! How about you? Listen to our conversation and learn more

EXPRESS YOURSELF! In Bullying-No Name Calling

Posted by Editor on
EXPRESS YOURSELF! In Bullying-No Name Calling

unnamed (4)

Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3 charity presents: Express Yourself Teens With the on-air Be the Star You Are!® youth reporters. 

Bullying, mocking, deriding, disparaging, taunting, ridiculing, name calling describe exactly the type of social and emotional pain that many kids endure every day. The time is now to nip this negativity in the bud. Our empowered hosts, Henna Hundal and Asya Gonzalez interview Matt Cubbler, owner of MaxOut Strength Studio that works to create leaders by building the inner strength of its teen clients as well developing their physical strength. The hosts also interview creative writing teacher from Minnesota State, Geoff Herbach,  award winning author of the Young Adult novels, Stupid Fast, Nothing Special, I’m With Stupid, and Fat Boy vs. The Cheerleaders, all listed in the year’s best by the American Library Association, The American Booksellers Association, and many state library associations. The Gift of Giving reporter, Katelyn Darrow, talks about why it’s important to choose benevolence amid bullies and always live by the Golden Rule. Our program winds up with a stellar rendition of Taylor Swift’s song “Mean” sung by our own Be the Star You Are!® chanteuse and Back Story Reporter, Jennifer Lee. Today’s program encourages us all to choose kindness and never be a name caller. It doesn’t pay to be MEAN.

unnamed (1)

“I bet you got pushed around 

Somebody made you cold

But the cycle ends right now

‘Cause you can’t lead me down that road

And you don’t know, what you don’t know…


Someday I’ll be living in a big ol’ city

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Someday I’ll be big enough so you can’t hit me

And all you’re ever gonna be is mean

Why you gotta be so mean?”

By Taylor Swift

unnamed (3)

Guests: Matt Cubbler 

As Vice President and Chief Operating Officer of MaxOut Domestic Franchising and MaxOut Strength Systems, LLC’s, Matt Cubbler believes in hard work and the power of positive thinking. Bringing 25 years of military and law enforcement experience and discipline into their local studios, he encourages his clients to change their lives one session at a time. Already known for their outstanding strength and conditioning programs, thanks to the unique Barwis Methods MaxOut Tower on each piece of training equipment (the counter weight method delivers faster results than typical weight training by maximizing the eccentric or “negative” of a repetition), MaxOut owners Jason Griggs and Matt Cubbler agreed that building the inner strength of its teen clients was just as important as developing their physical strength. www.Maxoutstudio.com


Guest: Geoff Herbach

Geoff Herbach’s Young Adult novels, Stupid Fast, Nothing Special, I’m With Stupid, and Fat Boy vs. The Cheerleaders, have been listed in the year’s best by the American Library Association, The American Booksellers Association, and many state library associations. Geoff won The Cybils Award for best American YA Fiction and the Minnesota Book Award for Young Readers. Prior to writing YA, he published a literary novel, The Miracle Letters of T. Rimberg, wrote comedic radio and stage shows, and traveled the country telling weird stories in rock clubs. He teaches creative writing at Minnesota State, Mankato. and lives in a log cabin with a very tall wife named Steph.


Listen at VoiceAmerica Kids Radio

Photos, descriptions, links, and listen HERE!

Listen to all broadcasts at ITUNES

Read more at VA Press Pass

unnamed (2)

Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle® Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are!® charity. For information on being a guest email caiekelley@gmail.com. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, Thanks for supporting teens!

Be the Star You Are!® charity. It’s the Season of Giving Make a donation today. Buy books and shirts.

Express Yourself Teens Talk Discuss Tips & Tricks for Trips plus Anti-Bullying Info By Cynthia Brian

Posted by Editor on
Express Yourself Teens Talk Discuss  Tips & Tricks for Trips plus Anti-Bullying Info By Cynthia Brian


Summertime is here and that means traveling. It’s time to leave your comfort zone, explore, experiment, and enjoy exciting new destinations. Hosts Youngjoo Ahn and Henna Hundal talk about their summer travel plans while offering tips and tricks for a healthy, happy vacation, whether it be to a foreign country or around the block. Health Beat Reporter, Nicole Eubanks, couldn’t be on the show but she gave her helpful ideas to the hosts to share. 


Special guest is 14 year-old Mandalynn Carlson, an actor, singer sassy stand-up comedian, and an outspoken advocate for anti-bullying.  She stars in the feature film debuting this summer, A Horse for Summer with Dean Cain. Mandalynn also starred as Annie in The Dead Kid, which tells a bullying story from her perspective, a film currently on the world film festival circuit. She travels extensively for her work as an actor and was the series lead in Brenda Forever, a guest star on Scandal, a co-star on CSI-NY, a recurring character on Totally, as well as a supporting role in Machine Gun Preacher. She is touring Southern California schools with the troupe from Music is My Language promoting anti-bullying and loves working in Arizona.

Whatever your summer plans, make sure to add travel to your itinerary. Discover new atmospheres  find yourself in new adventures. Not only will your body get to enjoy a fresh and healthy change in scenery, but you’ll find yourself having a really awesome experience as well.  Listen at Voice America and Listen at Express Yourself! Teen Radio.

Congrats to everyone who volunteers and supports Be the Star You Are!®. BTSYA has been named a 2014 TOP NON PROFIT for the 6th straight year and is one of the first to be awarded this honor by Guidestar and Great Non Profits.

Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle® Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are!® charity. For information on being a guest email caiekelley@gmail.com. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences. Thanks for supporting teens!

Be the Star You Are!® charity. It’s the Season of Giving Make a donation today. Buy books and shirts and more!

Buy, sip and savor coffee, tea, and hot chocolate from Coffee That Gives Back through September 15, and 25% of your purchase will be donated to Be the Star You Are!® with no additional cost to you. You can also buy personal care and nutraceuticals for delivered. 

BTSYA Button

Teens Talk about by Gratitude and Anti-Bullying

Posted by Editor on
Teens Talk about by Gratitude and Anti-Bullying


Are you grateful for what you have or are you someone who complains about what you don’t have? Are you a bully or have you ever been bullied? Today host, Youngjoo Ahn speaks with outstanding teens making a difference in different arenas about their views on gratitude–country music star, Josie Milner; founder of an anti-bullying social network, Connor Finley; and a Girl Scout Gold award winner, Jane Fessenden.

 Nominated for Most Promising Youth Artist at the 2013 Independent Country Music Association awards, Josie Milner is a teen country music artist, national honor student, and anti-bullying advocate standing up for what she believes in, and delivering her message to the world via country music. Her single, “Not Pretty Enough” hit #1 on the Indie World country chart, and #23 on New Music Weekly.  She is a spokesperson with Angels and Doves, a national non-profit organization. Listen to Not Pretty Enough
Founder and Creator of the It Gets Better Project, Connor Finley has been able to unite over 1200 people to his anti-bullying group on Facebook with a mission of giving individuals a safe place to discuss bullying and its effects. His goal is to create a kinder social network.
Nerd Word Report, Jane Fessenden, expresses her gratitude to Girl Scouts for helping her become the organized person she is today. Jane recently earned her Gold Award with her completed her Girl Scout Gold Award project,Youth Development Through Art where she taught art classes to underprivileged kids.
Tune in for this weeks episode “Gratitude and Anti-Bullying”  Express Yourself! on VoiceAmerica Kids Channel Tuesdays at 12 Noon Pacific Time.  You can also listen to past show On Demand Here.

Listen at Express Yourself! Teen Radio: http://starstyleradio.com/Express_Yourself%21_Radio/Entries/2013/12/3_Gratitude_%26_Anti-Bullying.html

The 10th Annual Essay Contest has launched. Enter to win $100 plus radio interviews, books, publicity, and more. For guidelines visit http://starstyleradio.com/Events/Entries/2013/10/18_Win_%24100._Radip_Interviews%2C_Books_in_Essay_Contest.html

Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle® Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are!® charity. For information on being a guest email caiekelley@gmail.com. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, visit http://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Thanks for supporting teens!

Listen to Starstyle® Be the Star You Are!® Wednesday 4-5pm PT on Voiceamerica, also check out the Archives.
You can also Listen to Express Yourself Teen Radio Tuesdays NOON PT on Voice America Kids, also click here for Archives.

Dealing with Peer Pressure

Posted by Editor on
Dealing with Peer Pressure

peer pressure


What is peer pressure and how does it affect us? Peer pressure is the influence of the social group on an individual. If you have ever felt like someone was trying to get you to do something that you didn’t want to do, you have experienced peer pressure. Peer pressure is JUST THAT-pressure. Just because “everyone else” is doing it, is not a reason to do “it”. In fact, lots of things people say they are doing, they really aren’t. They are just bragging and trying to get others pressured into doing something. 

On Express Yourself!™ today, our co-hosts Caie Kelley and Rachel Glass interview four reporters with various viewpoints pertaining to peer pressure. Isaiah Rankin, reporter for Nature Calls, shares the delicacy of eating tarantulas in Cambodia, our Fashion Forward reporter talks about the influence of fashion and trend on peer pressure. The ladies audition a new reporter, Alex Lee, with his segment #Hashtag and information on the social networking buzz plague, #YOLO. In addition, Economics Tune-Up Reporter, Alex Pawlakos, challenges us to be prudent with our money and the pressure to buy things we don’t want or need.

Peer pressure is a topic that everyone has experienced at one time or another. Our teens urge listeners to be true to themselves, be their own self, their best self and listen to their inner guidance system. Claiming peer pressure is often just an excuse to misbehave.  Be your own person.

Bruce Lee was right when he said, “I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.” Listen at Voice America Kids Network: 

Listen at Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio: 

Photos, descriptions, links, and more at Express Yourself!™: 

More information about the show at http://www.btsya.com/express_yourself_radio_show.html
Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle® Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are!® charity. For information on being a guest email Katherine@BetheStarYouAre.org. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, visit http://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Thanks for supporting teens!
://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Thanks for supporting teens!

Bullying: A childhood issue or one that occurs throughout life BY DR. SURITA RAO

Posted by Editor on
Health & Wellness
Bullying:  A childhood issue or one that occurs throughout life BY DR. SURITA RAO

bullying, voiceamerica

Bullying seems to have become rampant in our society today. With the tremendous increase in access to ever more sophisticated technology , new ways to carry put this age old practice have emerged . Yet, whether it is the physical bullying between boys in the school yard, social media and cyber bullying by so called ” mean girls” in and out of school, or the supervisor at work who uses tactics of intimidation to create a culture of fear , they all carry some common underlying psychological and behavioral patterns. One person is seen as weak or due to certain circumstances ends up in a weaker position and another person or people use techniques, designed to humiliate and harm them. Sometimes this is done to get something the other person wants, but at other times the bully or bullies just seem to like the feeling of power that this behavior brings them.

Are bullying behaviors increasing among our young people today or were they always there and more focus is being put on the issue in our current world? Many people think of “girl bullying” behaviors such as excluding someone from a high school clique or constantly making fun of their clothes and fashion sense as being a “softer” version, maybe not quite as bad as physical violence. Yet, it can inflict emotional scars that impact the victim long into adulthood, sometimes through their entire life.

We want to teach our kids to be kind to each other, to share and help bring the classmate or playmate along that appears weaker but are we inadvertently sending them mixed messages as society as a whole values success and winning more and more. What kind of role modeling are we providing to them in the media, in our everyday lives, as we wait in line at the grocery store or drive in traffic or even compete for the promotion at work? Is there a way to raise children who will be successful and ambitious, yet be able to achieve their goals without kicking someone off the ladder behind them? Patterns of bullying or treating one family member or sibling badly,being constantly overtly critical of them can occur in families and often persist throughout life, even when people have grown up and have their own children. The victims in many situations often do not speak up in order to “keep the peace” or not to be rude.

These are questions that do not always have a clear cut answer. The more overt forms of bullying are still present, may be easier o identify as long as someone comes forward, either a victim or an observer. Those need to be dealt with in a decisive manner and a culture needs to be created in our schools and workplaces that allow people to come forward without fear. The situations that are not so easily resolved are when the intimidation is more in a grey zone.

Also, what about simple teasing? When is it good natured fun and when does it go too far harming another person? One way to set some clear stop signs is when the other person is getting upset or uncomfortable. Let us teach our kids to learn to put themselves in the other person’s shoes, think about what they are experiencing, empathize with them rather than always think of them as the other.


Surita Rao, M.D. is the physician leader of the Behavioral Health Services at Saint Francis Care and host of the show, Mental Health with Dr. Surita Rao on the VoiceAmerica Health and Wellness channel. She completed medical school at Bankura Sammilani Medical College in India and did her psychiatry residency training at St.Vincent’s Hospital in Staten Island, New York and the Yale University School of Medicine. She did her addiction psychiatry fellowship at the Yale University School of Medicine. She has been on the faculty at both Yale and Emory Universities. She is an Assistant Clinical Professor with the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.

Her clinical work has focused on addiction psychiatry, including both substance use disorders and dual diagnosis issues. She has worked with impaired physicians and other health care professionals.

Upon completing her fellowship training, she worked as the Medical Director of the methadone maintenance clinics at Yale University School of Medicine. She has been the Chair of Behavioral Health at Saint Francis since 2002 and is the President of the Saint Francis Behavioral Health Group.

Dr. Rao is on the Board of Directors for the American Society of Addiction Medicine and is co-chair of their national membership committee. She is also on the Executive Committee of the Connecticut Chapter.

Dr. Rao is chair of the physicians’ health committee at Saint Francis. She also serves on the Board of the Saint Francis Foundation and has been appointed as a Corporator for Saint Francis Care.


Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

Follow by Email