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7 Habits of Passionate Married Couples By Emily Webber

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7 Habits of Passionate Married Couples By Emily Webber

marriedDo you ever wonder what it would be like to be the married couple in the restaurant that is so into each other that you cannot take your eyes off them? Passionate married couples have this something that almost holds you in a trance. The way they look and speak and touch each other has an easy and effortless grace and a deep underlying passion. It feels like you can touch it. Passionate married couples…

1. They touch each other often. Passionate couples touch each other often and in different ways. They have an intimacy in their touching that allows no one else in. They hold hands when they walk together or sit together. It almost seems instinctive for them to reach out for each other and feel the connection. They hug each other often. It is said that it takes 4 hugs a day for survival, 8 for maintenance and 12 for growth. Passionate couples give good hugs to each other! You know, the kind that make you feel safe and loved…as if you are home. And there is the passing touch. Passionate couples give each other a light touch on the neck or touch each other’s arm as they walk by. Just a little touch that says, “I love you and you are on my mind.”

2. They look each other in the eye and smile. Passionate couples look each other directly in the eye and hold it for a few seconds without looking away. They look and see the heart of their mate… they see their soul. They look at each like they are interested and like they are curious about each other. And they smile at each other. Passionate couples smile with their heart and their eyes at the same time. It’s a smile meant for just two.

3. They show each other off and seem proud of each other. Passionate couples brag on each other’s accomplishments. They talk about each other even when they are not with each other. They offer up each other’s importance and value to the world. They are proud to be married to them and are honored to be a part of the other’s life.

4. They go to bed at the same time. Passionate couples, more often than not, go to bed together at the same time. It’s a sweet time to let go of the day and rest in each other. They re-connect and touch and feel each other physically and emotionally again. Bedtime is a ritual they do together. It’s a time to bond and give a last hug or a kiss for the day.

5. They see beyond the warts. Passionate couples do not see each other as perfect. They see each other’s warts and flaws and imperfections but see beyond those things. They see their mate’s inner light and heart shine and goodness. They see beyond the physical warts like a few extra pounds or a disability. They see beyond health issues or life events that bring additional stress. They see the inside of the person and they love it more than the outside.

6. They take care of each other’s dreams. Passionate couples trust each other with their dreams and know that their dreams are safe. They never make fun or dismiss the dreams of the other. Passionate couples tend and nurture each other’s dreams until the time they can blossom. And they are happy for each other when the time comes and support the dream the best way they can.

7. They have love rituals. Passionate couples have love rituals that belong only to the two of them. They have a cup of coffee in bed together in the morning or they share a glass of wine at the end of the day. Their love ritual is selfish. They allow no one else because passionate couples choose to make their most important person the only person at times. Becoming a passionate couple doesn’t take a lot of hard work. It only takes a heart full of desire! Wishing you all the romance your heart can hold!

For more information, Read the Article on Emily’s Website.

Just For Today By Dr. Yomi Garnett

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Just For Today By Dr. Yomi Garnett
self control

JUST FOR TODAY, I will accept that, although I cannot stop certain things from happening, how I react is what matters most.  I cannot stop the traffic light from changing to red.

And even if I was in an inordinate hurry, I must terminate my break-neck speed at the sight of that red light.  Whether I am happy about this, or frustrated about it, is of little or no consequence.  The germane fact is really quite simple: I have no control over the traffic lights.

Today, I will remember the 90/10 Rule of Life.  10% of my life depends on what happens to me.  90% of my life depends on how I react to it.  In real terms, this means I have no control over 10% of what happens to me.  For instance, I cannot stop my car from breaking down, any more than I can terminate a sudden storm that prevents my plane from taking off to Jamaica, where I have an important scheduled meeting.  Indeed, I have no control over this 10% of the circumstances of my life.  The other 90%, however, is of a marked difference, if only because I determine it.  Friend, did I hear you skeptically ask, “how?”  And, my really simple response is, “By my reaction.”  Yes, indeed, I may be quite unable to control the red light, but, certainly, I can control my reaction to the Red light.  Today, I easily recall the all-too-human story of David Preston, a middle-aged resident of a quiet, upper middle class neighborhood in a Philadelphia suburb.  He was eating breakfast with his family.  His daughter inadvertently knocked over a cup of coffee, even as a wide stain spread rapidly over the front of David’s pristine white dress shirt.

He had no control over the unfortunate incident, and the final outcome of the entire episode would be determined by how he reacted.  David chose to curse loudly, harshly scolding his daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears.  David next turned angrily on his spouse, and virulently chastised her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. An unpleasant verbal altercation ensued. Shortly after this, David stormed upstairs to change his shirt.  Meanwhile, back downstairs, his miserable daughter had occupied herself with crying, rather than eating her breakfast, and unable to be ready for school at the appropriate time, she missed the school bus.  Having dissipated valuable time into bickering, his spouse had to rush out for an early appointment with a client.  David had to rush to his car to drive his daughter to school.

Not unnaturally, being late, he exceeded the speed limit for suburban traffic, and had to suffer a fine of  $40 after an excruciating twenty minute delay.  On arrival at the school, his daughter dashed out of the car without as much as a backward glance.  David eventually arrived the office twenty minutes late, only to discover that, because of inordinate haste, he had forgotten his briefcase at home.  Quite obviously, his day had started on a very bad note. It got worse.

Finally, he could only look forward to coming home.  Sadly though, he arrived home to a strained relationship with his spouse and daughter.  All because of an unwholesome reaction to the spilling of coffee on his shirt!  Today, if someone says something negative about me, I will merely let the attack roll off like water on glass.

Indeed, I will react appropriately, and it will not ruin my day.  And, when someone cuts me off in the traffic, I will resolutely refuse to lose my temper.  I will decidedly not pound on the steering wheel in frustration.  My ten minutes lateness to work will not cost the firm the whole world.

No one will be permitted to ruin this morning’s pleasant drive to the office.  So, the plane is late, and I am going to be late for the rather crucial meeting.  I will resolutely refuse to take out my frustration on the flight attendant.  For, after all, she had no control over what was going on.

I would, rather, invest my time in useful study and the fulfilling past time of knowing the new person sitting next to me.

Today, the brilliant, new vista of an exciting and infinitely more positive life looms ahead of me, as I prepare to live by the 90/10 principle.  And, for me, one good day will always follow the next.  There will be little or no stress in my life.  And, my life will be filled with joy and wholesome relationships.  Just for this day, I will understand the 90/10 principle, and my life will change forever!

ACTION EXERCISE

Why did David’s day turn out a nightmare?

A) Did the coffee cause it?

B) Did his daughter cause it?

C) Did the booking policeman cause it?

D) Did David cause it?

The answer is: David caused it.

He had no control over the incident with the coffee.  His unfortunate reaction in the immediacy of the incident was what caused his bad day.  Together, let us attempt to reconstruct a better sequence of events.  Coffee splashes over David. His daughter is on the verge of tears.  David, gently puts her at her ease: “It’s ok honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”  David runs upstairs with a towel.

He throws on a new shirt, and grabbing his briefcase, he is back in time to look through the window and see his child getting on the bus. She turns and waves.  David and his spouse kiss before he goes to work.  David arrives five minutes early and cheerfully greets his co-workers.

David’s boss commends him for his effective supervision of his current project.

Dr. Yomi Garnett

www.theglobalinstituteinc.com

CSI: Solving The Employee Retention Mystery By Deanne DeMarco

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CSI: Solving The Employee Retention Mystery By Deanne DeMarco

my jobThe Crime Scene Investigator (CSI) shows on television have become very popular as they uncover the mystery around a homicide. The scientists look for clues and follow the evidence in uncovering the mystery surrounding how and who caused the untimely death of a victim. In the business world, savvy executives realize that employee retention is critical to the long-term health and life of their organizations. Without an adequate number of employees to do the work, organizations could become the victims of an untimely “death.” Successful organizations know that becoming an “Employer of Choice” enables them to retain high caliber employees, and this is a key to bottom line success.

As the baby boomers (age 40-60) retire, senior executives and managers are starting to realize retention of high caliber employees is becoming a problem in their organizations. The facts tell it all: the Generation X population numbers 44 million people, while the Baby Boomer generation workforce numbered 76 million. The bottom line is simple – there are fewer workers available.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, by 2017 there could be a shortage in the workforce of nearly ten million workers. Employee retention matters! Some economists have stated that perhaps as early as this year companies will begin to feel the pressure of retaining top talent.

Generation X: New Generation of Workers, New Mindset

In the late 1990’s, Generation Xers observed the long hours and work-life of their parents and older co-workers. They are saying that the workaholic lifestyle of their parents isn’t for them. According to a January 2006 article in Fortune Magazine, “ If your [workforce] was born between 1964 and 1977, you probably already know all too well that Generation X, as it’s often called, just doesn’t respond to the same carrots and sticks that motivates its elders.”

Survey results conducted by the Society of Human Resource Managers (SHRM) serve as a timely warning to organizations. According to the survey, HR professionals believe that voluntary turnover will increase 41% to 53% among the Gen X work group. The report also revealed that 64% of employees in this work group said they were extremely likely to increase the intensity of their job search activities in the near future.

Here are three retention strategies that you can take to help keep your key employees.

C stands for Communication: Employees want to be in the know.

When you fail to communicate, you fail the employee and the organization. Employees want strong communication activities, which include feedback, group communication, and corporate communication.

Feedback is communication that is given to an employee or team. Positive feedback often involves telling an employee about good performance. Negative, or what is sometimes referred to as constructive feedback, often involves telling someone about an area in performance that can be improved.

  • Employee surveys continually report the need for one-on-one feedback that is both timely and actionable. Feedback, either positive or negative, needs to be given immediately after the occurrence. All too often an employee receives feedback months after an action occurred, and the facts surrounding the action are obscure. Employees also complain that managers are lax in giving positive feedback – employees need to know what they are doing well.
  • Actionable. Successful feedback includes information or action items that an employee has control over and can do something about.  Effective feedback is specific, and is focused on specific behaviors or actions that the employee can control.
  • The Gen Xers are reporting the need for more group communication. This includes group problem solving and strategic planning. This generation prefers working in teams and likes group involvement and being informed.
  • Employee surveys also report the need for meaningful communication around company issues. Employees what to know about organizational goals, and how their job is relevant to those goals and bottom line success. A very retention- focused company is successfully using employee think tanks to brainstorm ideas around corporate issues.

S stands for Supervision: Managers build teams, manage performance, and develop individuals to help them achieve success on the job.  Employees don’t leave good companies – they leave bad bosses.

The role of manager is changing and is becoming more important than ever. Progressive companies are teaching their managers how to coach employees.  The role as manager-coach requires a different skill set then the previous managerial role. Coaching employees is a results-oriented process of open communication and feedback between manager and employee. The manager-coach acts as a strategic partner in facilitating the employee’s development process. In sports, the coach prepares the team, gives direction and helps troubleshoot problems. It is then up to the team to produce positive results on the field. The same is true with coaching a work team. The manager-coach prepares the team while the employees perform the work. One free source on coaching is from Pocket Resource. This introductory, quick tip e-book was written for managers who want quick tools and tips on coaching. Go to www.pocketresource.com to download the information. The e-book should not be confused with an in-depth business coaching program for managers.

Lastly, employees want visible managers who are out on the floor, developing rapport and working with them. They want managers who vocally appreciate the work and effort they contribute.  Successful managers realize they can’t do the work without the employees, and provide positive feedback on a regular basis.

One sign of exceptional leadership is the ability to retain key employees. Managers with high turnover rates are seriously damaging their companies. If the company is going to succeed it must retain its talent. The heart beat of organizational success hinges on the retention of qualified employees. Organizations today can’t afford to lose good, qualified workers to competitors.

I stands for Interest: Employees want to know they are valued and important.

Employee attitudes have changed. Gen Xers are concerned about their personal quality of life. This can be a challenge for employers. One growing problem is the inability for corporate cultures to support the work/life balance initiatives they’ve put into place. There have been several documented cases when a company has a corporate work/life policy that states a benefit, however when the employee tries to exercise the benefit, he or she is denied. For example, in one company there is a policy that allows a worker to elect a status change from full-time employment to part-time employment. However when a Gen X mother requested the change in her status from full-time to part-time, so she could be at home more with her young children, she was denied. When she reminded her manager and department director of the published benefit, she was denied again and told to seek employment elsewhere.

Solutions come in different shapes and sizes. Some work/life benefits include:

*    Flex-time                                 * Job-sharing               * Vacation

*    Leave (paternity/maternity)    * Work hours               * In-house store /services

*    Four day work weeks             * Childcare                  * Eldercare

*   Celebrations                             * Telecommuting        * Office gym or gym support

The bottom line

Organizations that are adapting to the new work/life balance mindset are experiencing employees who are more loyal and committed to the companies they represent. Organizations that fail to focus on these issues will soon loose their key employees.

For some companies retention is a mystery. However, everyday we hear of another company that has unlocked the key to retention. The workforce may change, but successful corporations still need the same results: productivity, profitability, and a loyal workforce committed to the company’s bottom line.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Deanne DeMarco, MA, RCC, is an award-winning trainer and certified business coach. She partners with business leaders to create corporate cultures where people achieve more and love to work. Deanne is the author of several books including the book “Pocket Resource: Coaching Tips” and “Speaking of Success”.  For more information on her GenXer™    Factor Management Model, coach training, or her keynote speaking, please visit Deanne DeMarco’s Website. Tune into Today’s Inspiring Women on the Empowerment Chanel for current information.

Do You Practice MBWA? by Marcia Zidle

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Do You Practice MBWA? by Marcia Zidle

Management by Wandering

How often do you connect with your team – chat with them, work alongside them, ask question and be there to help when needed?

This practice is called Management By Wandering Around (or Management By Walking About) – MBWA for short. Yes, it’s been a concept that’s been around for quite a while. So this is a gentle reminder of what it can accomplish.

Benefits: It Can Increase:

  • Communication: When your staff sees you as a person and not just a boss, they’ll trust you more and will be more likely      to tell you what’s going on. You’ll get the chance to learn about issues before they become problems.
  • Accountability:  When you interact regularly with your team, everyone is more motivated to follow through, because you’re seeing each other on a regular basis.
  • Productivity: Many creative ideas come from casual exchanges so people will more likely feel free to come to you with their ideas for continuous improvement.
  • Morale: People often feel better about their jobs and their organization when they have opportunities to be heard.

Wandering Around Tips:
To be successful, it takes more than simply strolling through your office, warehouse, or production facility. MBWA is a determined and genuine effort to understand your staff, what they do, and what you can do to make their work more effective.

  • Ask for feedback and ideas:  Let everyone know that you want ideas to make things better. As the boss, people may think that your opinions and ideas are “right.” So hold back from saying what you think – the goal is to see what others have to say.
  • At the same time, share information: Your “walk-arounds” are opportunities to talk about company goals that can help everyone understand what they do is important.
  • Answer questions openly and honestly:  If you don’t know an answer, find out and then follow up. If you can’t share something, say so. Telling half-truths can break down trust.
  • Wander around equally:  Don’t spend more time in one department or section than another. And don’t always talk to the same people or to people with certain ranks. You want to be approachable to everyone, regardless of job title or position.
  •  Turn the conversation away from work to them as people: Learn the names of your staff’s kids. Find out what they love to do or where they’re going on vacation. Joke, laugh, and have fun.

Smart Moves Tip:
How can you use Management By Wandering Around to help you achieve your leadership goals? Ask yourself the following:

  • When was the last time you walked around your office or department? Why did you walk around? Were you looking for things that people were doing poorly or doing well? What did you learn?
  • Do you know the first and last names of all your team members? This is a must. What else do you know about them – their hobbies, their family, their other talents?
  • Do you know more about a small group of your staff vs. all staff, or more about one department vs. others? Why have you been focusing your attention on just those people? Do you think the rest of the staff sees this as favoritism?

Marcia Zidle, the smart moves executive coach and speaker, is host of The Business Edge on the Voice America Business Network. The show features the Smart Growth System providing small to medium sized businesses the proper foundation for expansion: a Growth Agenda that becomes their roadmap, a Growth Engine that attracts and engages the best talent and Growth Leaders that make it happen. Marcia, the CEO of Leaders At All Levels, brings street smarts to help businesses get on the right track and not get sidetracked on their path to higher performance and profitability.

 

The Generational Divide: Is There One?

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The Generational Divide: Is There One?

office1                       office3 

 

A recent encounter got me thinking about inter-generational interactions in the workplace.

As a volunteer usher at a performing arts organization, I was given the wrong sign in sheet by young millennial who was chatting away with another staff member.

Later, it was brought to my attention, by the same person, who said to me, “You signed the wrong sheet.” There was no apology or taking of responsibility.

My first reaction was annoyance thinking, “It was your mistake, not mine. Don’t you know I’ve been working much longer than you…you should show some respect….where’s your work ethic?”

Once I got out of my righteous indignation, I looked back and realized that maybe I need to take some responsibility for not paying more attention in the first place. Also in the past, when I’ve observed her in action as she dealt with patrons, she was professional. So that got me thinking!

Generational Differences
For the first time we now have 
four generations in the workplace (traditionalists – baby boomers -X ‘ers – millennials) which presents interesting challenges and opportunities to leaders, managers, and their teams. So much has been written about the differences in traits, expectations, styles, preferences. But I’m wondering if we should also be looking at what are the similarities.

The Center for Creative Leadership asked this question: (http://www.ccl.org/Leadership/)

Is it possible to work with and manage people from all generations effectively without pulling your hair out?

Absolutely! The following ten truths about generational conflict can help you look past the stereotypes and become a more effective leader to people of all ages.

  1. All generations have similar values. In fact, they all value family, the most. They also attach importance to integrity, achievement, love and competence
  2. Everyone wants respect – they just define it in the same way.
  3. Trust matters especially with the people you work directly with. Everyone wants to trust and want to be trusted.
  4. People of all generations want leaders who are credible and trustworthy. They also want them to listen well and be farsighted and encouraging.
  5. Office politics is an issue – no matter what your age. Most realize that political skills are a critical component in being able to move up and be effective.
  6. No one really likes change. Resistance to change has nothing to do with age; it is all about how much one has to gain or lose with the change.
  7. Loyalty depends on the context not on the generation. People stay or leave a company based on their boss, opportunities, stage of life and other factors.
  8. It’s as easy to retain a young person as it is to retain an older one. It depends on what’s important to them. Age defines a demographic not a person
  9. People of all generations want to make sure they have the skills and resources necessary to do their jobs well. The ability and desire to learn continues throughout life.
  10. Everyone wants to know how they’re doing. Feedback is desired but no one likes only negative feedback; they also want positive as well.

Smart Moves Tip:
Use these ten principles to help you work with and lead people of all ages. When generations fail to communicate and interact effectively in the workplace, we see a negative impact on the bottom line – performance, productivity and profitability start trending downward. So the next time begin to think negatively about a specific age group, stop and ask yourself: What do we have in common that I can tap into? How can I see them and the situation differently?

 

Marcia Zidle, the smart moves executive coach and speaker, is host of The Business Edge (http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2186/the-business-edge) on the Voice America Business Network. The show features the Smart Growth System providing small to medium sized businesses the proper foundation for expansion: a Growth Agenda that becomes their roadmap, a Growth Engine that attracts and engages the best talent and Growth Leaders that make it happen. Marcia, the CEO of Leaders At All Levels, (http://www.leadersatalllevels.com/) brings street smarts to help businesses get on the right track and not get sidetracked on their path to higher performance and profitability.

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