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Pink Rain

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Empowerment
Pink Rain

Pink Rain

Did anyone ever say something to you that you found offensive? What did you do: walk away in a huff … talk back to him or her … “stand up” for yourself and then feel lousy later? Take the “high road” and feel crummy later? How about lying awake at night, rehearsing all of the better things you could have said … smarter things you should have said … or plotting the really good comebacks that you will lay on the offensive party next time you get the chance?

But have you ever simply let it go? Really let it go? Not just turn the other cheek yet seethe inside at the injustice of it all? Let us tell you how it happened for us:

In the late 90s, we were leading a series of winter retreats in Costa Rica. These particular seminars took place near the beach in Manuel Antonio on the Pacific side of the country. There we made the passing acquaintance of a couple, Rena and Sven. These two people radiated their judgmental nature and we felt uncomfortable just being around them.

One morning the two of us took a taxi to the beach. As we exited the cab we arranged with our driver to come back in an hour to pick us up. As we walked down to the ocean, we ran into Rena and Sven. By way of greeting, Rena said something very catty — not just the words, but also the unspoken subtext of the comment.

We bet you are familiar with loaded comments. Just think of a teenager, stomping to his or her room saying, “Fine!” or some such thing and flinging the door closed. In this case the word “fine” actually means anything but. Teens in particular are good at adding the eye rolling and they are great at dripping sarcasm from a single syllable. You get the idea.

It doesn’t really matter what Rena said that morning. We quickly ended the conversation and moved on down the beach. At first it was a bit of a challenge not to rehash the moment and reinforce the agitation that usually comes along with getting a verbal and energetic bump. Yet we purposefully disengaged from what had happened and got involved in what was happening: our walk. As we strolled along the shore, the sand sifting between our toes, we got engaged in what was in sight: the pelicans flying in formation, their wings practically skimming the waves, the sun, the surf, the birds, our conversation, OUR life. We simply invested in what was actually happening in that moment rather than resist Rena or Sven, and as we continued down the beach the upset fell away. In fact we forgot about the couple altogether.

This is a perfect example of the 3 Principles of Instantaneous Transformation in action:

1st Principle of Instantaneous Transformation – What you resist persists, grows stronger and in this case, accompanies you down the beach as it dominates your life and your current experience. If we had resisted Rena, disagreed with her comment, if we had taken exception to how she and Sven were being and chewed it over between us, then we would no longer have been on the beach. When you are in a fight in your thoughts, that’s where you are locked — in your thoughts.

2nd Principle of Instantaneous Transformation – That couple could only be exactly as they were, with their reality. Rena could only have commented as she did, and we could have only had a spontaneous visceral reaction and been taken aback.

3rd Principle of Instantaneous Transformation – Anything you allow to be exactly as it is completes itself. We just let them alone in our thoughts and the situation and our initial reaction just drifted away. But of course, as frequently happens when something of this nature occurs, life gives you the opportunity to see if you really have let the upset go – and if not, you get another chance to dissolve it! Soon our beach hour was almost up and it was time to meet our taxi and go back to work. But when we walked up to the road to the rendezvous spot, who should be standing there but Rena and Sven. We didn’t want to be rude, but we didn’t want to invite more conversation either. So we simply ambled up the sidewalk and put some distance between us. It was at this point something very sweet and special happened.

In Costa Rica there are many flowering trees. You can see entire hillsides populated with purple, orange, yellow or pink blossoms. Up at the curve of the road was a big old tree laden with pink flowers. Just as we approached, a gentle breeze ruffled our hair and combed through the tree’s branches. And suddenly the tree rained pink petals. We stood there in awe, awash in a soft pink rain.

It was as if the circumstances of our lives were guiding us forward so that we could be witness to such a magical moment. We weren’t walking away from them – we simply kept moving in concert with the wind, and the sun, and our lives. We were in sync. We were appropriate to ourselves and our hearts. When you are in the moment you are a part of the symphony of life and the music isn’t discordant, the melody is pure and simple. On that particular day the theme was a soft pink rain.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

Starting Over

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Empowerment
Starting Over

Starting Over

An excerpt from How to Create a Magical Relationship, The Three Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life

Click here for more information or to purchase this book

Have you ever found yourself in one of those moods where no matter what your partner says or does, it is all fodder for the fight? Where you are angry, disturbed, and nothing he or she says or does is right or good enough to relieve your sense of aggravation?

We recently met a couple, Hal and Mary, in one of these altered states of consciousness. They came to speak to us about their relationship and how, no matter what they did, it always ended in an upset and distress, and their fight never seemed to completely resolve. Oh sure, it abated from time to time, but the embers of disagreement were always just below a thin skin, ready to erupt at any time.

The funny thing was they were both right—from their individual points of view. From his point of view, “She would always . . . ,” and from her point of view, he was wrong and all of her friends agreed with her. This couple had a list of grievances dating back to early in their relationship, past events over which the two of them continued to disagree.

Hal and Mary had fundamental behavior patterns in their relationship that we have seen in other intimate relationships where nothing seems to resolve. No matter how much they tried to change or fix the situation, it stayed the same or became worse. So they came to us, looking at whether or not they should remain together. Their situation was further complicated by the fact that they had a sixteen-month-old child together. By now, the sense of intimacy between them had completely eroded, and while they were very devoted to their daughter, she had become the focal point for many of their fights.

The real problem was that Mary and Hal, for all of their strife, were obviously still in love. They just couldn’t find a way to sidestep the old grievances that kept resurfacing, incendiary mechanical behaviors that set them battling against their will.

Our usual approach is to find out where it all started and what happened that initiated the fight, but when we asked what had caused this pattern of behavior in the first place, Hal and Mary each had their reasons for what the other did or didn’t do that created the situation, and both of them were “right” from their points of view. Apparently, we had a stalemate. No matter what we came up with, each person felt certain that the other was the cause of their stress, upset, and dissatisfaction. This is normal for most relationships that are in trouble.

In situations like this, where the partners have been together for several years, the starting point of the disagreement is obscured forever. So what do you do to alleviate the pain when you are locked in a habituated way of relating that seems to have no beginning and no end—a way of relating that keeps accelerating in its frequency, intensity, and duration?

At some point, the reasons why you are upset become irrelevant because everything becomes grounds for the disturbance. It has been unresolved for so long that there is no way to go back and fix all of the grievances and transgressions.

So what do you do then? You can leave each other, which is the end result that a lot of loving relationships devolve into — it’s called divorce. You can punish each other perpetually and live a life of complaint and pain. Or you can start over.

There have been times in our relationship when we found ourselves fighting and could not find a way out of the disagreement in which we were locked. Finally, we came up with a device that allowed us to stop fighting. One day, we were driving into New York City, and for whatever reason, we were deeply engaged in disagreeing with each other. It escalated and was like a sore tooth that you worry with your tongue; we couldn’t seem to leave it alone. Our silences were noisy — very noisy. And each of us was certain that we were right in our own perspective and that the other was simply wrong. We each felt picked on and misunderstood. It didn’t feel good, but there didn’t seem to be a way to resolve the conflict. Finally, we came up with the idea of starting over. We picked out an overpass ahead on the highway and said, “When we go under that overpass, the fight is over.” This meant that as soon as our car passed that spot, we were going to operate as if this disagreeable conversation had never taken place. Onward we drove. It took discipline at first to resist thinking about the altercation that had just happened, but we kept bringing our thoughts and conversation back to current things, such as what we could see out the window and our plans for the day, rather than rehashing the past.

We can’t remember now what our fight was about. It seemed so important at the time, but now the details have faded into obscurity. We knew that the fight could fade away for Hal and Mary too, if given a chance, and so we suggested that they try starting over. We warned them it would be challenging not to keep going back to past gripes, but they grew excited and intrigued at the idea.

That night, Hal and Mary had a date. They had not been on a real, live date since before their child was born. The point where they started over was the opportunity for a new beginning. They grabbed this chance with both hands, and intimacy resulted. However, the next time an upsetting event happened between them or a similar type of disagreement cropped up over their child, it took discipline to resist the temptation to revisit old events. With practice, the habit of going back to touch on old events in your thoughts or in your actions can fade away.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

Navigating the Choppy Waters of Disagreement

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Business
Navigating the Choppy Waters of Disagreement

Oh NO! Here I Go Again! By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Empowerment
Oh NO! Here I Go Again! By Ariel & Shya Kane

June 7: Oh NO! Here I Go Again! It’s natural to think “Oh NO!” when you recognize that you are getting upset. Being upset is not a flaw or failing. However, when you simply see yourself without judgement, upsets can dissolve in an instant. Tune in to this enlightening episode of Being Here and watch those upsets go “Poof!” Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141! Listen Live this Wednesday, June 7th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show/ After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show-archives/ You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:

– Podcasts app for iPhone

Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device

VoiceAmerica app for Apple 

VoiceAmerica app for Android

Climate Change Battles; Where is the Collaboration? By David B. Savage

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Business
Climate Change Battles; Where is the Collaboration? By David B. Savage

I am saddened by the constant battle for higher ground in the Climate Change Public Relations Wars. Where is the intelligence? Where is the collaboration? Where is the innovation? Where is the commitment? Our planet and our grandchildren deserve far better than this.

Like the famous painting shown here, the battle rages on and while there are peacemakers, where are those making the necessary changes? Or in the energy battles, will we continue to cut down those with great technical knowledge and reduce those with a great social conscience?

Like politics, in the climate discussion, the battles take the forefront while the war is being lost. It matters little who has a more acceptable or stronger social message, we must fix this mess. We must reduce emissions of all kinds. We must stop this dangerous trend.

Here is what I experience today (click the links to websites as you read);

1) Before the Flood: Leonardo DiCaprio hopes his new film will inspire climate action

Before the Flood article
https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2016/oct/14/before-the-flood-leonardo-dicaprio-hopes-his-new-film-will-inspire-climate-action

2) Director of DiCaprio’s Before The Flood documentary ‘horrified’ by Alberta oilsands

Horrified by Tar Sands
http://www.calgarysun.com/2016/10/26/director-horrified-by-alberta-oilsands-in-leonardo-dicaprios-climate-change-doc-before-the-flood

3) this is where backgrounds, perceptions, and judgments divert us all into separate “camps”. Let’s move forward with additional perspectives.

4) Emissions by Country

EPA CO2 Emissions by Country
https://www.epa.gov/ghgemissions/global-greenhouse-gas-emissions-data#Country

5) The oil sands industry currently accounts for approximately 0.12% of global GHG emissions. (Environment Canada 2015)

Share of Global CO2 Emissions
http://www.energy.alberta.ca/OilSands/791.asp

6) The IEA forecasts that in the next 25 years oil sands production in Canada will increase by more than three million barrels per day, “but the emissions of this additional production is equal to only 23 hours of emissions of China — not even one day,”

IEA on Oil Sands Emissions
http://business.financialpost.com/news/energy/new-emissions-from-canadas-oil-sands-extremely-low-says-ieas-chief-economist

7) Cowspiracy

What’s 10 x fossil fuel’s impact?
http://www.cowspiracy.com/

8) Transitioning

How do we go to renewables?
http://theconversation.com/phasing-out-fossil-fuels-for-renewables-may-not-be-a-straightforward-swap-54108

9) Energy Education

Primary Energy Information
http://energyeducation.ca/encyclopedia/Primary_energy

10) More energy sources including nuclear

Nuclear and other energy
http://www.nucleartourist.com/basics/why.htm

11) Four Reasons Why the Transition From Fossil Fuels to a Green Energy Era Is Gaining Traction
Change is happening now
http://www.truth-out.org/news/item/30259-four-reasons-why-the-transition-from-fossil-fuels-to-a-green-energy-era-is-gaining-traction

12) Cumulative Effects
realize that cumulative effects are the elephant in the room.
http://www.ceanalytic.com/

Cumulative Effects

Call to Action;

Remember the saying; “Bull shit baffles brains”? Too often, special interest groups and powerful organizations divert us from finding our own truth. Let’s collaboration, learn what is true for us, explore and commit to innovation and, most importantly, change our own behaviors and purchasing.

Rather than give more of your money to King Leonardo with his massive yachts, or Al Gore as he flies the world to end (the use of jet fuel?) emissions, support oil interests, or keep buying large vehicles and consuming cheap energy like there is no accountability, let’s take our own decisions and put our time and money where we intelligently decide.

You have access to the internet, do your own fact checking! You have a global network, collaborate for a better tomorrow. Let’s talk.

As we explore (and Break Through to Yes: Unlocking the Possible within a Culture of Collaboration , here are few suggestions that I take to heart to reduce my own impact on climate change and GHG emissions;

a) walk most everywhere. Take public transit wherever it is too far to walk. Ride your bike! Cars are can be used as a secondary transport system for long distances as a backup, not a primary source. Think of moving around your neighborhood after supper rather than turning on the TV.

b) turn off stuff, especially lights. An estimated 25- 40% of our home energy use is “vampire power” (those 27 clocks and flatscreen TVs that must be ready to immediately turn on 24/7, the internet of everything (where everything in our homes is being connected to the internet…) homes

c) elect to purchase renewables from your electrical provider.

d) educate ourselves on energy and buy/ consume accordingly. Can we have an intelligent learning conversation on wind, sun, nuclear, oil, natural gas, geothermal,…?

e) get involved in networks/ organizations/ conversations that encourage healthy learning from diverse perspectives (rather than blaming and shaming).

f) eat less beef and more veggies…

g) start an energy literacy group and understand interests, outcomes, and directions.

h) Live in a Net Zero home

Net Zero Homes
http://zeroenergyproject.org/

i) Think sustainability, think collaboration, lead as if the future matters.

ThinkSustainAbility
http://thinksustainability.ca/

What you can do?

What will you do today?

The Collaborative Global Initiative is a group of professionals with very diverse views and backgrounds on energy and environmental protection that are changing the conversations between stakeholders to create a better future for all. CGI
http://www.collaborativeglobalinitiative.com/

Be the change.

Let’s start this change now. Let’s work together.

Let’s Break Through to Yes with Collaboration.

2017 weekly series starts January 26th!

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