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Rediscovering the Art of Connection in the Age of Technology

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Rediscovering the Art of Connection in the Age of Technology




My passion is to help people better their lives by releasing their fears and blossoming into who they are meant to be. In my weekly radio show, Uplift Your Life, Nourishment of the Spirit, I share information and tools to help you make new healthier choices, heal physically, mentally and emotionally and become your authentic self. In my new blog, I’ll help you do this by sharing my tip of the week, a story to help you learn how to find the Silver Lining in every situation and a response from a listener, Marian Stephens, who is using the information in my radio show to change her life. Her first email to me impressed me so much that I invited her to be a regular part of my blog. This was Marian’s heartfelt response: “I have been longing for guidance and direction in life. Your show is powerful and I know there are so many like myself who will listen and change their lives. I feel honored that you want me to be a part of that experience. Thank you so much!” I hope we inspire you to listen to the show, read the blogs and change your life.


Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week


This week my guest, Michael Gelb, and I discuss the importance of human connection and how to cultivate open and honest communication channels with family, friends, and co-workers. My tip of the week is a surefire way to begin finding the power of authentic connection.


The tip of the week comes from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment, I wrote this book because when you are self-empowered, you are connected to your limitless higher self, your soul, your intuition, your gut feelings, your guidance. Our limitless higher self is the wiser part of ourselves, the part that knows the Truth of who we are. Our logical mind is so loud, however, that it often drowns out the whisper that is trying to guide us on our authentic path. As you learn to listen to the still small voice within, you will begin to feel at peace. Because your limitless higher self has direct access to the Divine, it is through this connection that miracles occur, like unexpected healing, healthy relationships, peace and wealth. This connection gives you an inner foundation of love, which eliminates fear. It is through this love that you can heal the planet and yourself and make the shift into the 4th dimension. Our higher self helps us find safety and even save our own life and others’ lives. We must train ourselves to trust our higher self and never go against it. Don’t talk yourself out of something that feels right to you or let what others say or think influence what you do. Please use these tips. My Tip for this week is in honor of our topic today. If you’re working on releasing your anger, for instance, ask yourself: Is the intensity of my anger diminished? Is the duration of my anger shorter? Is my recovery time faster? Is the amount of time between angry outbursts greater?


When you’re changing a behavior, whether it’s adjusting how you use technology, connect with others or let go of destructive habits like anger, blame, shame, judgment, etc., it’s important to notice small changes along the way. Give yourself credit for your progress . . . And celebrate your victories!


This is important because our minds tend to focus on what is still missing, what we’re not doing right and how we’re not perfect. This negative energy robs us of the joy of our progress, steals our hope and makes us believe that we’ll never achieve our goals. Monitoring our progress is a powerful way to counteract this tendency. We are in charge of our thoughts and have the ability to kick out the ones that hurt us. Since our thoughts carry a frequency, it is important that we stay as positive as we can. The higher vibration will attract more of the same, which will build our positive energy and create more good things in our personal and professional lives. Whether you are a designated leader or not, your energy affects everyone around you. Make sure that you are spreading positive energy. As we change ourselves, we change everyone who comes in contact with us, even people who just pass us on the street. In this way, each one of us is a leader, a piece of the puzzle, part of the one mind that will help to heal the world and help it become the world we want to live in. What you think, say and do matters.


Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story


Intimate connection with one another is more important than ever. Electronics, social media, texting, google, Wikipedia, and many other Internet spots are luring our attention away from face to face or voice to voice communication. In my story today, I share my own challenges with social media and email.


I must admit that I was a little slow getting into cell phone technology. I’m fully in it now, though. Initially, I had to learn to text if I wanted to communicate with my children. Then I added social media for business purposes. It was fine, until one night I noticed that I had gotten a little too far into it. Without wanting to, I was checking my social media every few minutes. That’s when I put the phone out of reach and turned off the alerts. I stopped using social media for a few days to break the pattern that had over-taken me, and I never turned alerts back on. Now I choose when I want to go on social media and I only use it to fulfill my mission of uplifting people’s lives, including my own. I blocked people who were using social media to spread mean spirited posts, I deleted any comments on my posts that were rude or inappropriate, and I encouraged others to do the same. Sometimes I take time off from social media if I’m particularly tired or busy or just not wanting to do it. Other times I spend extra time because I need uplifting and the posts make me laugh or nurture my soul. I don’t follow a time pattern. I follow my internal guidance because it never steers me wrong.


Technology is not good or bad. How we use it determines its value, and we all have choices in that regard. Although technology often saves me time, I’m old fashioned about the value of more personal communication. Sometimes, I use text to set a phone appointment, which I consider to be second to face to face communication. But skype or a personal visit isn’t always possible. Emails and text are efficient and helpful at times, but they don’t convey tone or the warmth of a voice or smile and they can be easily misunderstood. I remember having crafted a difficult email to someone with great care only to discover from a third party that the person had completely misinterpreted my message. A phone conversation would have given me the opportunity to pick up on the miscommunication and solve it before it grew.


I have learned a lot from people younger than me about the value of technology. I have also learned to be discerning about when I use it and to not throw away what I know about the value of personal connection for healthy communication.


Marian Stephen’s Story


When I received the following email from Marian, I was so impressed with her self-awareness, openness to change and willingness to take the ideas in my radio show and apply them to her own life that I invited her to do this blog with me. We hope this will help you create the life you want.


Today’s show reflected the theme of an ongoing conversation that I have with my new husband, Rob. We have a desire to deepen our connection. We share a very strong connection and I have found that it has led to a greater sense of self awareness and a wish to express myself creatively. What we have been searching for is the language to express what a deep connection looks like and the tools needed to achieve it. I know working with you and your team is going to provide me with the answers I have been seeking. I want to define my spiritual path in order to express myself through the written word and tell the story of my parenting journey. Applying some of the concepts outlined in today’s episode will also help strengthen my relationships with my family – these relationships are the foundation on which I am building the practices needed for the lifestyle I want.


Tonight I am going to try the technique you suggested in a previous show of lighting the candles and writing down the questions I have. I know I should trust my intuition, but still disregard that quiet voice that speaks to me despite knowing it is true. My oldest son has special needs and I am struggling with what next steps to take with him. I find myself stuck in a negative thought cycle that has left me feeling unable to act. I’ll get a glimpse of what I need to do, then the ideas become elusive.


The question, “How might I respond if I were not taking this personally?” is one that I need to ask myself throughout the day. I have sincere difficulty not being overly sensitive. I find that it impacts my ability to effectively listen to what is even being said. I also find myself defensive which is leading to speaking angrily and shutting down.  I want to communicate in positive ways and practicing asking this will be very helpful.


The segment about defining the purpose of goals resonated with me because I think being aware of the purpose will help define the steps needed to achieve the goals. If I am aware of the meaning of the actions, I think I am more likely to put a great deal of effort into working on my goals. Keeping the purpose in the forefront of my mind would help to define and reach various ideals.


It does require vulnerability to build an authentic connection which is why I sometimes rely on technology, or distract myself with electronic devices. It can be momentarily more comfortable than being open to having what I perceive to be a difficult conversation. But, it leaves me craving closeness and that sense of connection that makes me feel heard and understood.


For More Shows on Connection


Listen to the following radio shows:


Create Change by Making Compassionate Life Affirming Choices with Stephan Schwartz

Listening With an Open Heart with Stephan Beyer

A Simple Solution for Loneliness with Kira Asatryan




To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, unleashes your creativity and helps you solve your most challenging problems, click here to sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/










Dinner with a Stranger By Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Dinner with a Stranger By Ariel & Shya Kane

Dinner with a Stranger
by Ariel Kane

It had been years since Shya and I had eaten at an Ollie’s Noodle House. In the 80s and 90s we used to go to Manhattan’s Upper West Side to eat there. In those days we would make a special trip to have General Tso’s chicken or jumbo shrimp, a crunchy fried delight with a semi–sweet hot sauce, on a bed of bright green broccoli. Sometimes we would even bring Shya’s parents there, when they were still alive, to celebrate special occasions. Eventually that restaurant closed its doors and our lives moved on.

At the beginning of 2014, as if coming full circle, we found a new venue to hold our Manhattan seminars that was back in the neighborhood where I lived when Shya and I began seeing each other. In fact, from our course room in the Skyline Hotel, which is on 49th Street and 10th Avenue, we can actually see the building where we had our first date and eventually lived together. As Shya and I began to reacquaint ourselves with the neighborhood and to explore the area for likely spots to have a bite to eat, we could tell that things had changed dramatically from when we had lived there. Where once it was difficult to find a decent meal, now there are ubiquitous Thai restaurants and plenty of places to enjoy varied cuisine from vegan to steak, Mexican to ramen. So it was with great delight when we came upon an Ollie’s situated mid–block on 42nd Street between 9th and 10th Avenues.

It was late afternoon when we entered and since it was early for the dinner crowd, there weren’t many patrons. Even so, the waitress seated us at a table nestled in a recessed nook against the wall, directly adjacent to an Asian man. After perusing our menus, Shya and I placed our orders and, sipping hot tea, sat back to wait.

Our neighbor had clearly ordered before we did, so it was only natural that he be served first.I was getting hungry by the time the waitress brought his appetizer and I was admittedly a bit nosey, too, for when I go out to eat, I frequently like to check out what other people in the restaurant are having. I have learned about many dishes I never would have considered that way. For instance, I once saw “burnt cauliflower” on a menu and the image it brought to mind lacked appeal. But after seeing caramelized flowerets mounded on someone else’s plate, I ordered some for myself and wasn’t disappointed. So when a porcelain bowl of something yummy looking that I had never seen before was placed on the table next to me, my interest was piqued. Inside a blue patterned bowl with a white interior sat a nest of long square shaped translucent noodles with bits of what looked like garlic in a spicy oil and soy based sauce.

“Excuse me,” I said. “What is that?”

It had never occurred to me that the man sitting next to me would not speak English but when he held his dish out, gesturing for me to take some, I came to realize that he did not speak my language and also that his culture was vastly different than mine. I experienced a split second of indecision. In my background eating off a stranger’s plate, albeit willingly offered, was taboo. I thought to wave my hands and say, “No, no, no! That’s alright!” But somehow this gentleman and I had bypassed the barrier of familiar speech and shared culture and we were now communicating directly. Of course a cynical view might think he made the overture as an expedient gesture since he had no words to explain, but in his eyes I saw that extending his bowl was a genuine offer.

As the man held out his bowl once again, I glanced down at my pristine chopsticks that I had rested on the edge of a small white plate in anticipation of my order of fried dumplings. Instinctively I knew that to refuse would cause offense. But of course accepting the proffered dish was not exactly altruistic. I was also very interested in what it contained.

Nodding and smiling as I said thanks, I took the bowl and deftly lifted out of a few noodles with sauce, placing them on my plate. After thanking the man, I beckoned to the server who had been watching the exchange.

“What is this?” I asked again, for I had never seen noodles of this shape and consistency.

“They are mung bean noodles with spicy sauce.” She replied.

Mung bean noodles? I had never heard of them before.

“Does it contain any fish sauce?” I asked, since I have in recent years become allergic to fish – no more General Tso’s jumbo shrimp for me.

After she assured me that they were fish free both Shya and I lifted a noodle with our chopsticks and tried a bite.

Mmmmm – cool, firm, with plenty of chilies for spice and tiny morsels of something like miso that added a burst of salt and savory at the same time.

We thanked the man once again and gave him space to enjoy his dinner. Shya and I were eventually served what we had ordered and we all ate our meals in a companionable way.

We have gone back to Ollie’s several times since then and my eyes always flick to the corner table recessed against the wall, but I’ve never seen him again. Both Shya and I have ordered mung bean noodles from time–to–time and have introduced friends to the dish as well. Whether we order them or not, we now see them on the menu. It’s funny how my eyes skip right over those menu items that I have not experienced. It’s as if many choices don’t exist simply because they are untried or new. I don’t mind when I am out at a restaurant ordering things that are familiar, things I know I like. But there are a whole host of unknown tastes when I’m willing to be open to something new. New things are also available when I’m willing to put my knee–jerk embarrassment or pride aside and accept a willing gift from a stranger. I’m certain that fellow doesn’t even recall our paths crossing but I do. And I’m grateful for his kindness. It’s hard to guess the difference a spontaneous moment of generosity can make. I personally find our chance meeting inspiring. Contained in it is a microcosm of the sweetness that humanity has to offer.


Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. (Link: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/tasteofexcellence/) Also get information about their five award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com. (Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0134TK10C)

More Here!

How Do We Cope With Hate Crimes? Three Considerations by Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips

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A road sign against Hate


Hate crimes like the massacre that killed and injured so many in Orlando, Florida are further fueled by terrorism and are meant to instill fear and helplessness. They impact everyone, particularly those who have suffered, those who identify with them and those who love and respect them. At the worst, hate crimes isolate, denigrate, fuel more hate and steal hope. This blog proposes that Compassion, Connection and Hope serve to reduce the loss, isolation, terror, and despair.


Life in the Beyond: Fuzzy Photons in Action

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7th Wave
Life in the Beyond: Fuzzy Photons in Action


Hello All,

Been seeing dead people here and there. Celebrating Halloween here in the US or Day of the Dead in other countries certainly sets a tone. So do people dying in strife and carnage in other places around the globe. Some of us deal a lot with dead people and some not so much.

We are noticing in group, clients and in my own life, about energies that were living and no longer holding human form. It has been about serving as witness to life passing, life needing recognition and influences present without individual awareness. All of it, energies with some sort of form and distinction now or at one time and loose, sometimes lost, sometimes still with something to say or still creating influence unwanted. We served as witness, offered direction, validating having been, releasing the trapped within, and showing no fear or feeling the fear and being okay with it. Some of us work big fields of references and serve as portals to certain kinds of energies to interact once again on planet earth. Some of us serve as touchstones for groups of population of the past.

In terms of consciousness all is okay and has place and perhaps meaning. Since we get to decide the meaning it can feel good or bad, wanted or unwanted and everything in between. If you don’t judge it, let it be neutral in influence and experience it is just energies circulating in disembodied states affecting embodied states. Sometimes it can be a projection of energy with a recognizable presence or just a sense of something. Whatever, often the holidays and family gatherings seem to present a thinning of the veil between here and there. Many of us can feel the comfort of a loved one who has passed and then there can be the discomfort of unhappy energies present in a location. All allow us to be aware of how we relate to the unseen forces at play. Current media can create all kinds of responses in us to what we can’t see or explain. Not all of it is helpful and actually serve as powerful fear generators.

Consciousness allows for all. It does not judge, it does not limit. Over the years I have been fortunate to experience many different ways life can be sensed. I tend to not judge it as who am I to say what is or is not, knowing that that is for each of us to dance with. If there is no time, no space in the multidimensional realities of the All, I am only looking at how it is all playing with me and what I want to do in response.

Maybe you too can talk with dead people. Maybe you are comfortable with that awareness or not. Whatever the case may be, let it be okay. Take the time to use your Consciousness technologies skill sets or what you know or have learned listening to our show and drop into heart space. Information can show up in any form at any time. Let what shows up be useful even if you think it might not be. Play. Allow your experiences and awareness of energies to show up as guides, angels, dogs, a big daisy face, your grandmother, gremlins, whatever works for you.

Ask the question “if I could have some help here….” Who would show up? Play accordingly.

Ask the question “ If I could help someone here….” Who would show up? Play accordingly.

Wisdom may be revealed, solace offered, connection reestablished, fears met and replaced with clarity. Whatever shows up is okay. Because that is what heart space is all about. It is a place of grace, offering warmth, support, non judgment. Many energies are not familiar with that state. It will invite the curious, the threatened, those who are threatened by grace, etc. etc. etc., depending on how you embrace life. The key is to be in heart space and not your emotional heart or mind which will have a personal investment or judgment.


Janet Barrett
Metaphorically Speaking/Intuitive Energy Release

©2014 Janet Barret

Radically Alive Relationships: From Connection to Communion By Dr. Lisa Cooney

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The fantasy of Prince Charming and Happily Ever After create a false foundation for relationship.

This fantasy has you…

1. Enter into relationship with false assumptions and false personas. 

As a result you develop “points of connection” that keep you from being your

authentic magical self.

2. Look to relationship as a source of security and status to establish stability in your life.

As a result you develop “stability points” that keep you locked in your own cage.

3. Say to each other things like, “Don’t leave me,” and “Don’t change.” 

As a result you limit yourself as you try to keep your partner locked in their cage.

All of this is a set up for failure.

When you’ve experienced abuse, you tend to re-create these patterns in your relationships. This can range from the dramatic to the subtle. The subtlest yet most pervasive pattern of abuse is “divorcing yourself.”

In other words: your needs and desires aren’t considered in your relationship – by you or your partner. You base your relationship on the lie that you don’t matter. Relationship ends up being a job or something you tolerate rather than a joy and something that enlivens you.

So how do you move beyond the points of connection and stability points?

How do you create a radically alive relationship?

Join me and Special Guest Susan Lazer Hart for my radio show, “Beyond Abuse, Beyond Therapy, Beyond Anything,” and discover the path to right relationship that is enlivening and limitless.
Click here for more information and read the official article here. 

The Tantric Lounge By Jacqueline Hellyer

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Health & Wellness
The Tantric Lounge By Jacqueline Hellyer


Down on The Tantric Lounge it’s all about men at the moment! We’ve just had two shows totally devoted to the male of the species.

The first show, Secret Men’s Business, was all about being a man. The key point made was that as a man you need to entice rather than thrust. It’s great that men desire their partners, but when that comes across as intensity then she’ll draw back and close off. It’s like shoving a chocolate cake in her face – it doesn’t matter how delicious the cake is, if its shoved in her face it won’t be appealing. Giving up and shutting off yourself is no solution, because then she’s got nothing to work with. What you need to do, energetically, is entice her: hold that cake a little away from her so she has the space to desire and move towards.

Then this week it was Black Belt in the Bedroom – how to be a great male lover. It’s not about tips and tricks, it’s about being calm, centered, connected, in control and creative. With this state of being you can arouse her to the point of the ‘horny face’ at which point she’s shifted into virtually an altered state of consciousness and from there she becomes fully sexually expressed. That’s when the good times roll….

Tune in to learn how, on The Tantric Lounge.


Jacqueline Hellyer is one of Australia’s foremost experts in sex, love and intimacy as well as the host of The Tantric Lounge on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel.  She’s a Sex Geek, unabashedly fascinated by sex, love and intimacy in all its aspects from the biological to the psychological to the spiritual.

Educator, therapist, coach, author, blogger, workshop presenter and speaker, Jacqueline brings her extensive knowledge and experience to her work, combining the wisdom of the ancients with the best of modern scientific practice. Best of all, she shares what she knows in an incredibly open, playful and inspiring way.

“Sex is a celebration of life and our sexual energy is our fundamental life energy. Yet we live in a sexually dysfunctional society with millions of people confused, misinformed and struggling with their sexuality.”

“I’m committed to enabling women, men and couples to become fully in touch with their sexuality so that they can use this powerful energy for personal growth and transformation, allowing them to rise out of the mire of what passes for sex in our sexually immature society, and create extraordinary lives for themselves.”

“My job is to be a ‘light in the darkness’ to help guide people to fulfill their sexual potential and become truly empowered!”

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