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Making Room for Peace

Posted by Felix Assivo on
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Empowerment
Making Room for Peace
“When things change inside you, things change around you.”
How many of you take time to nurture your emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual well-being? Do you realize that nurturing ourselves is essential to living a happy, healthy, and abundant life? If you reflect on the times, you may have neglected yourself, give thought to what you were thinking and what you were feeling. It is so important to realize that there are consequences when you forget to pause. While we can become swamped, overwhelmed from exhaustion, or get distracted, failing to break causes us to:
  • lose a sense of purpose
  • lose a sense of focus
  • lose clarity
  • unintentionally hurt people
We have to prioritize the pause for those of us who desire to find peace in the middle of the pause.

We are in a particular time when peace is most needed. But what is it that we are seeking? Is it that inner peace of being mentally, emotionally, and spiritually at ease in the face of life stresses, anxieties, disturbances, and chaos? Or is it consciously keeping our mind at peace regardless of external circumstances over which we have no control? Let’s take a deeper dive into finding genuine peace that inspires.

A Deeper Dive into Finding Genuine Peace

Before the pandemic, how many of us ran from one meeting to the next or ate lunch on the run, if at all, due to conference calls and meetings, or lastly, found ourselves up late at night checking and sending emails? What is sad is that some mistakenly thought this level of busyness is how we grow and find peace.

Some of us have gotten caught up measuring our worth not only by the results we achieve but by how much of our time we spend doing stuff or the ugly culprit of measuring our success with others. One of the most frustrating things some of us have experienced is trying to have a conversation with someone distracted by incoming calls or sending messages via their Apple Watch! Too often, we take a similar attitude to the work we do and our engagement with other people and with ourselves.

Sadly, we live frantic lives, constantly on the go, at least in part because it makes us feel good about ourselves. To put it mildly, it makes absolutely no sense and by no means is it nourishment to our spirit. So how do we make room for a level of peace that inspires?

Making Room for Peace that Inspires

Do you want to experience God’s peace in your life – NOW? If you responded “yes,” then it’s time to do some mental decluttering. For those who don’t know me – I can hear my family laughing at what I’m about to say, but I am a neat, organizational freak better known as OCD! I have this insatiable need for things to be in order and sometimes find it hard to function if things are cluttered and out of place. To fulfill this need, I periodically engage in a process of decluttering. Decluttering allows me to experience a deeper sense of calm and helps me to flow in a more fantastic realm of peace.

Not only do I declutter physical spaces but mental spaces as well. To make room for a level of peace that inspires requires that our minds are free of all unwanted anxiety.  For God’s perfect peace to take residence in our lives we must free our minds of clutter. The decluttering of spaces was an absolute Godsend in that it empowered me to get rid of even the residue of things that weighed me down and consumed my time and energy. Making intentional room for peace enables us to use time wisely to embrace the life God desires for us entirely.

Understanding the importance of nurturing ourselves and finding a greater level of peace encourages us to:

  1. Reorganize our priorities and re-evaluate our commitments.
  2. Let go of some things from our past to make room for the new.
  3. Take a leap of faith and commit to projects you have been putting off.
  4. Challenge any limiting beliefs that attempt to create barriers.
Action Steps to Make Room for Greater Peace

To find greater peace, we need to know when to engage as well as when to disengage. A purposeful pause is precisely what we need, especially when our brains are constantly being stretched. When we take moments to pause, we are empowered to see the path that can help us to reclaim a productive life.

Pausing allows us to bring our entire being into our work and in our lives. Finding greater peace helps us to spend our time on the things that matter most to us while dismantling the lie that taking time to pause will diminish our productivity.

7-Day Action Plan 

Over the next seven days, take some time to PAUSE! Be willing to start a practice that affords you a timeout from your busy routine. Commit to nurturing yourself and to honoring who you are to find a greater level of peace.

Final Step

Even though we are still in a pandemic, we live in a world that constantly asks us to move faster, do more to be effective, and believe that it’s counterproductive when we take time to pause. When we think of finding greater peace, taking care of ourselves first allows us to better care for our passions and those we love. This Week’s Action Step: Commit to being more productive and peaceful throughout your day, create the practice of meaningful moments by making room for peace that inspires. 

Dare to Live Your Best Life in Abundance,
Cheryl

Your Mindset and Wellness Coach

Pursuing What Matters

Posted by Felix Assivo on
0
Empowerment
Pursuing What Matters
When you continually compete with others, you become bitter. But when you continually compete with yourself, you become better.
How often have you faced adversity and yelled, “I can’t take it anymore” and contemplated whether or not to quit? How often have you heard ‘no’ and you perceived it as a form of rejection as if you or it didn’t matter? Or discovered yourself engaged in self-sabotage due to limiting beliefs? Lastly, as you faced a whirlwind of uncertainty and difficulty managing change, you found yourself feeling defeated? These are some of the many reasons people think they don’t matter. They aren’t good enough or want to give up. Beloved, different motivations drive each of these. One of them is the struggle of what I have coined as the Comparison Syndrome.

An Exposure of the Comparison Syndrome

We can sometimes find ourselves challenged by judging ourselves very harshly and rather than walking out of the challenges we face, we are tempted to walk away, assuming that we have failed. How many of you recognize that this challenge is often a result of comparing ourselves to others? In actuality, while comparison is something that we all do, the problem lies at the root of our comparison. Specifically, are we trying to figure out how good we are or trying to make ourselves feel better? The critical principle lies in understanding the root of our motivation, and to weed out unhealthy comparisons.

Let’s say there’s someone whose craft is impeccable, and you find yourself seeking an understanding of the quality of your work. This is, frankly speaking, a healthy motivation. On the flip side, if you find that you are comparing yourself to others to boost your self-esteem, this is an unhealthy motivation and will create some problems. These problems mask themselves in the following ways and can rob you of your joy when:

  • you compare your flaws and shortcomings to the best you presume about others
  • you use too much time comparing your accomplishments to others
  • you lose focus and give too much attention to the wrong things or the wrong people
  • you find yourself flowing in resentment towards yourself and others
  • you find yourself dissatisfied, miserable, and unhappy
  • you struggle with celebrating and complimenting without partiality

Unpacking the Struggle with Comparison

In an attempt to encourage you to stay the course because you matter, allow me to unpack the danger of unhealthy comparison just a bit further. My husband is a fisherman. While I know very little about fishing other than what he has shared, comparison reminds me of fishermen casting their net. When you compare yourself to others, you tend to cast your nets around the people you choose to connect with. You evaluate whose attention you’ve caught, and then you tend to use it to form opinions about yourself.

How many of you are shaking your head or saying to yourself, ‘I sometimes find myself doing this.’ But really, did you realize that you’ve been doing this all your life which has had an impact on the opinions you have of Yourself, YOUR self-esteem? These opinions form our core beliefs and dictate your every day, getting up, walking around life. If you are guilty of ‘unhealthy’ comparison, I need you to do this immediately: STOP! STOP IT! Take a moment to imagine how your life could be transformed by abandoning negative comparison tendencies. So how does a beautiful soul like you do this?

Taking YOUR Power Back

To take your power back and halt unhealthy comparison is to understand your core belief about your self-worth. As I teach, the first step to embracing that YOU Matter is to learn to love yourself and the importance of focusing on your self-care. Next, because YOU are fearfully, wonderfully, and marvelously made, shift your attention to those things that empower you to embrace and appreciate your uniqueness. As you begin to give attention to yourself, start a gratitude practice for the good things in your life.

I am a humble witness to the power of embracing your uniqueness.  I have forever been a dreamer.  My tendency to over-analyze and to make sure everything was just perfect, created hiding places that caused me to become stuck.  One of my ride and live sisters, who has challenged me in so many ways, once shared with me during a time when I was trying to figure out where I was going to get the money to publish a book said, “Cheryl, stop focusing on where the money will come from.”  “Instead, visualize yourself sharing an excerpt from your book and a panoramic view of people standing in line to sign your book.”  Can I tell you, when I took my power back, I attracted precisely what I visualized, and it blew my mind.  That has been the trajectory of my journey, to appreciate being uniquely me and my heart’s desire is to empower other women to do the same.

Implementing these strategies to minimize unhealthy comparisons, will position you to feel more positive about you. Practice gratitude and focus on attracting things that bring you joy and happiness.

7-Day Action Plan 

Over the next seven days, I challenge you to focus on things that bring you joy intentionally. I want to challenge you to start a Happy Journal. In this journal, write down things that have made you happy for which you are grateful.  Don’t stop – keep it going!

Final Step

As you embrace the beauty of you, you develop a greater degree of gratefulness and a renewed sense of purpose. Guess what? You are so worth it! This week’s Call to Action: Focus on what you want to achieve and celebrate the small wins along the way.

Dare to Live Your Best Life in Abundance,
Cheryl

Your Mindset and Wellness Coach

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Transformed By a Fearless Conversation

Posted by Felix Assivo on
0
Empowerment
Transformed By a Fearless Conversation
“For God did not give us a spirit of timidity or cowardice or fear, but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of sound judgment and personal discipline [abilities that result in a calm, well-balanced mind and self-control].”
–  
(2 Timothy 1:7 amplified)
Have you ever had a fearless conversation that stretched you beyond your greatest imagination? To take it a step further, have you ever been challenged to do one thing every day that literally scares you?  God has and continues to meet women in pivotal periods of our lives and intentionally interrupts broken belief systems, misguided self-narratives, tragic stories of shame and regret and exposed ‘hiding places” in order to free them to walk in fearless confidence; accessing promises meant to be kept and used as a weapon to unravel the lies of the enemy.

Exposing the Root of Fear

All too often we have dreams of what we desire our life to look like, but can easily become trapped in expending energy and time addressing the fruits of fear, anxiety and stress.   What we sadly don’t give enough attention to is focusing on the root of our fear.  In an attempt to expose the root of fear, please recognize that fear is first, ALWAYS rooted in something that we repeatedly replay in our thoughts and are still holding on to.  On our journey to becoming fearless, we must address the root cause of what is triggering our fear so that we can be liberated from its effects by letting it go.  In doing so, we are no longer bound to fear, anxiety and stress and its ugly hold on our lives.

At the onset of the pandemic, how many of you like me, were challenged by acquired spiritual principles that forced you into action.  I recall being faced with the choice to take a leap of faith and walk whole-heartedly in what I had been equipped to do; or I could remain bound by fear and stay trapped in a realm of fear and uncertainty

As destiny would have it, I made the bold decision to no longer stay stuck in my comfort zone.  I stopped allowing fear to hold me captive and chose to move towards living on purpose to reach my potential.

Mindset Shift – Overcoming the 3 F’s of Fear

The choice to boldly become fearless requires an intentional mindset shift.  Making a decision to overcome fear empowers you to keep moving forward.   I personally found the following 3 F’s most empowering in shifting my thoughts about overcoming fear.  They were:

  1. Fear of Change – embracing the courage to step out of my comfort zone and strive towards actualizing my purpose.
  2. Fear of the Unknown – while each step seemed strange, willingly taking a leap of faith.
  3. Fear of Failure – abandon remaining stuck as a result of perfectionism and take action to work toward my desired goals and dreams.
7-Day Action Plan 

So, you might ask yourself… “why am I not living my best life and fulfilling my purpose?” In order to truthfully answer this question you will be required to identify the fears that are holding you back.  Over the next seven days, you are being challenged to reflect on where you may need to be stretched.   What fearless conversation do you need to have that will empower and equip you to walk in your personal greatness?

Final Step

At this point I offer another thought for reflection:  ‘On YOUR journey to becoming fearless, are YOU living up to YOUR fullest potential?  Are you ready to join a community of phenomenal women of strength who are equipped to boldly tap into their power to make an impact on society?  Do you desire to be one of many amazing women who inspire other women to become a strong woman who fearlessly approaches life with confidence? If so, this week’s Call to Action: Subscribe to the Flipside of Adversity YouTube Channel.

Dare to Live Your Best Life in Abundance,
Cheryl

Your Mindset and Wellness Coach

Executing Courage Over Fear

Posted by Felix Assivo on
0
Empowerment
Executing Courage Over Fear
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”  – Nelson Mandela
It’s almost Fall and the season will be changing soon. Some people may find themselves excited about the end of summer activities, which are limited due to safety concerns related to COVID-19 and this new variant. For others, it may be a time centered around sadness, feelings of anxiety, uncertainty, and fear. So how do you execute courage over fear?

Courage Over Fear

The beginning of the pandemic was one of significant challenges. I found myself, at times, fighting back feelings of fear and anxiety. I paused to question whether I would let feelings of fear and worry consume me or encourage myself to execute courage over fear.  As a Mindset and Wellness Coach, I found myself engaging in some practices that I typically teach others. I recall sitting on the couch in my office, taking time to intentionally do some deep breathing to relax, and engaged in a period of transcendental meditation, a technique used to recharge one’s mind to create a more positive state of mind. This created opportunity for me to clear my thoughts, allowing me to realize that while there will always be moments of testing, it was imperative that I stepped up my game and made courageous decisions because both fear and courage can be habit-forming.

Fear is described as an unpleasant emotion caused by our belief system. If we make a habit of succumbing to feelings of fear, then we will become paralyzed by it. The secret to developing courage is found in facing our fears. As we face our fears, we build confidence, and that confidence helps us execute courage over fear.

As situations that cause emotional distress arise in our lives, fear is one of the most powerful and can substantially impact our mindset and decision-making ability. Rather than allow fear to control your decisions, you have to determine what is accurate and imagined. I was challenged to remain courageous and look at what was real and valid in my situation. I needed to make decisions based on the facts and not let my emotions dictate my thoughts and actions.

How Fear Impacts our Mindset

As we face challenges and potential setbacks, our brains will react in predictable ways.  Our brain will immediately respond to signals from the amygdala instead of taking the time to process that which we are facing. This is why it is imperative to find a calming remedy that works for you, which creates needful moments to process what you are dealing with. Rather than overacting, we can position ourselves to process the events we encounter rationally and remain courageous in the very face of fear.

A Paradigm Shift to Overcoming Fear

Taking a needful pause at the beginning of the pandemic allowed me to recall past fearful situations and how I addressed them. These and other practical steps strengthened my ability to release fear and become courageous in the face of the fear. Trust me, it was and continues to be nothing less than a walk of faith. Some of the strategies I learned along the way which are valuable in remaining courageous are:

  1. Execute Courage Over my Fear:  Sometimes attempting to avoid situations that cause anxiety or fear result in stagnation. When you expose yourself to your fears, you create effective ways to overcome them.
  2. Be True to Yourself:  It is extremely important to take needful moments to assess your fears in an effort to identify strategies to overcome them.   It is essential to face unsettling emotions which can lead to anxiety and unwanted stress.
  3. Faith and Spirituality:   Faith and spiritual practices can provide excellent insights to cope with everyday stress.  Connecting with faith groups or empowerment sister-circles provide a great source of support.
7-Day Action Plan 

Over the next seven days, please take some intentional moments to reflect on how you execute courage over fear. What are some of the strategies that you have found most helpful? As you tap into the methods, you may use, write them on a 3×5 card or write them on your mirror (a wonderful daily reminder) and refer to them as needed.

Final Step

Beloved, you will face opportunities for courageous decision-making every single day. As CS Lewis says, “Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point.” This week’s Call to Action: Even when your courage appears small, embrace this truth: Every fear is an opportunity to strengthen your courage. Be brave enough to execute courage over your fears!

Dare to Live Your Best Life in Abundance,
Cheryl

Your Mindset and Wellness Coach

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