Is It Too Good To Be True? By Marni
Iâve been having conversations recently with a friend. He truly wants to find and enjoy a long term committed relationship. His relationship experience is dotted with disappointment and hurt. He recently met someone new and they clicked.
In one breath, he tells me about their amazing connection. They enjoy spending time together, talking, intimacy, just hanging out. They’re very attracted to each other, yet it’s much more than physical. He spends a lot of time telling me about their connection in some detail. They have similar values, think similarly, yet they also have some differences.
Then he says âshe is a unicornâ. By definition a unicorn is a fantasy, âa mythical animal typically represented as a horse with a single straight horn projecting from its forehead.â He follows this up saying âshe seems perfect for me. There must be something Iâm not seeing. I keep looking for what’s wrong with her. She is too good to be true.â
Have you ever met someone amazing and thought that very same thing? âToo Good to Be True?â It could be with a relationship, a friendship, a job, the way your life is flowing. Anything.
I had a time when I felt this way too. It wasnât when I met and dated my husband. It was later AFTER we married. Weird, I know.
When you say âitâs too good to be true,â You’re questioning what is coming into your life because of your own lack of or limited belief in self-love, self-worth. You feel self-doubt which causes you to resist change, looking for “the other shoe to drop” effect, instead of embracing change.
Your limiting belief is two-fold (or more):
1) You’re missing some of the enjoyment of your relationship by focusing on some unforeseen problem (fear, anxiety) that may not ever happen. That is creating fear in you and causes you to âping pongâ. Yes, I am in. No, I am afraid. Yes, I am in. No, I am afraid. The ping ponging changes the magnetic energy around you as well as your behavior and it can feel confusing to someone else without them understanding why.
For my friend, it comes out in his relationship when they discuss their relationship histories. He wants to know, he doesnât want to know. Then he hears something that concerns him and thinks he may have found âthe other shoeâ, but he doesnât really want to find the other shoe. And then these feelings drape themselves over his girlfriend and she becomes sensitive and upset. Meanwhile he doesnât understand why she is upset. This can lead to drama, unnecessary drama, instead of enjoying each moment and the now.
2) What are you truly afraid of? Why do you feel you do not deserve this happiness and love? He has been hurt in the past. Does that sound familiar? He says maybe he isnât meant to be with someone. Which is as close to saying âmaybe I donât deserve to be with someoneâ, âmaybe Iâm not loveableâ. My friend has a harder time going to this place. That is so common. Who wants to sit in feelings of âIâm not worthyâ and âIâm not loveableâ. And yet, even not addressing them, they take hold in your life. And they can decimate your relationships if you engage or speak from lack.
When you have full love and belief in yourself, you stop resisting, surrender and embrace change. Then you move past the âis this really happening?; Is this real?; Is this something I deserve? And you just say…YES.
If you feel âit is too good to be true?â or you wait for the âother shoe to dropâ? What do you do about it? Do you do anything about it or silently suffer?
You can put an end to these silent and shared conversations. You can quiet your fear. It is so possible. I didnât always believe it. Through my own healing and the support and guidance I share with and teach to my clients, Iâve seen and experienced it.
And if you are ready to look at your life from a possibility of: anything is possible and life has many possibilities. I invite you to a complimentary call with me Touching Your Inner Guidance. Just click the link below and weâll talk about what you are done with and ready to leave behind; what you want for yourself and can so have; and how what I do can support and guide you to those extraordinary possibilities.