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A Moment in Time

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A Moment in Time

A Moment in Time

by Wendy in Queens, NY

an excerpt from Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Day Enlightenment by Ariel and Shya Kane

kidsswinging.jpgMy brother Brian was born a year and a half after I was. My mom told me that when she brought him home from the hospital, I thought he was a gift for me. When we were growing up, Brian seemed to know how to do everything without any help or training. I’d ask him, “How do you know that?” I was amazed and jealous that things seemed to come so easily for him, or so I thought.

Years later when I graduated from college, I found a job in New York City. My brother offered to drive my stuff and me from our home in Rochester, New York to my new apartment in Jersey City, New Jersey. We packed his Suburban to the gills and off we went. We made our way there using a good old-fashioned map since this was before cell phones and Google Maps. We spent the weekend setting up the apartment and took a quick trip into Manhattan to explore the area. The days flew by and the time came for him to head back. We hugged goodbye and off he drove into the horizon. As I watched my brother’s truck get smaller and smaller, tears fell down my cheeks.

Time moved on, life happened, and Brian and I grew apart. I held on to my belief that we would be super close again someday, because that’s how I thought it should be. That’s how I thought life worked. But Brian started using drugs. As his addiction grew stronger, the gulf between us grew wider. He got help, but it was a struggle and he repeatedly slipped back into his old habits. I had a lot of judgments against him, but they had started long before he was using drugs.

Eventually, I discovered a totally new perspective about my brother and my life when a co-worker invited me to one of Ariel and Shya Kane’s evening events in New York City. Soon after, I attended a weekend seminar with them and started to look at relationships through a different lens. It wasn’t a conscious decision, but my perspective just shifted. As a kid I’d made decisions to not be like my family. I started seeing how I held my family and myself as not good enough. I had ideas about what a “good family” looked like, down to how a good family should celebrate Christmas. In the past, I had sat at home feeling sorry for myself if the celebration was not up to my standards.

Then, one December, I had a spontaneous experience of how my life had transformed. I had flown to Rochester to celebrate Christmas with my family and quickly discovered that no one had made plans for a holiday gathering. Rather than going to that familiar place of feeling sorry for myself, I realized that I could plan something. This was a novel idea and I got excited at the notion of hosting Christmas.

With my sister Holley’s permission, I invited everyone to her house on a snowy night in December. I made all of my favorite dishes – cheesy macaroni and cheese, creamy cauliflower mashed potatoes and a big green salad. Holley finished it off with a fresh baked apple pie. My mom brought the frosted buttermilk Christmas cookies that she made every year. Everyone was happy to contribute. Hmm, maybe my family wasn’t such a lost cause after all.

Earlier in the day my sister and I had bought gifts for everyone, including a chess set that I thought my brother would love. Brian was a pretty good chess player and he loved the game. The doorbell sounded and I greeted my mom and brother at the door. It was as if time stood still. I looked into my brother’s eyes and I saw that I had a choice. I could drop my judgments and meet my brother Brian, as if for the first time, or I could hold on to past grievances. In a split second I chose to drop the past. I saw the light flicker in my brother’s eyes as I reached out to hug him and I felt the wall between us crumble. Even the sound of his name was sweet and I was excited he was there.

The evening flew by. After dinner we exchanged gifts. I felt sated and happy. I realized the picture in my mind of how Christmas should be celebrated was a child’s idea and I preferred the way it had unfolded in reality.

Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Day EnlightenmentI was scheduled to fly back to New York City on Sunday night and to my surprise, Brian joined my mom and me on the ride to the airport. When we arrived and I found out the flight was delayed, I asked them both to come inside the airport and wait with me. I’d never done that before. I usually couldn’t wait to get out of Rochester but this time was different. We sat in Dunkin’ Donuts, sipping coffee and eating muffins, and laughing at stupid jokes. It was a lot of fun and the silliness was sweet and intimate. When my flight was ready to depart, we said our goodbyes and I made my way to the gate with a big grin on my face.

A few days into the New Year, I got a call in the middle of the night. My brother Brian had overdosed on heroin and his heart had stopped. He died later that night and I was in shock. I couldn’t believe that just a few days earlier we’d had some of the deepest and kindest interactions in years. It was as if I had found my kid brother again only to lose him.

I miss my brother but I’ll be forever grateful for the time I got to spend with him that Christmas. I’m thankful that I dropped the past and discovered who Brian really was while he was still alive.

 

This is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, now available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their award-winning books, their Being Here radio show and join their email newsletter.

Life is in the Blintzes

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Empowerment
Life is in the Blintzes

“Life is in the Blintzes”

By Eric in Brooklyn, NY

An excerpt from Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Enlightenment, Ariel and Shya Kane

When my maternal grandmother, Dora, was a child, she came to America from a tiny village in Eastern Europe. One of my fondest memories of her was that she made amazing blintzes, thin crepe-like pancakes filled with savory cheese. When I was a little boy I’d visit her in the Bronx in New York City, and we’d walk together to the store, my small hand in hers, to get fresh ingredients. Then we’d go back to her apartment and I’d watch her make my beloved blintzes. She never followed a recipe. Everything she made was by eye or by heart. The best part of all was eating them. My grandmother was a cheek pincher who loved me with food. And her food, from blintzes to chicken soup to chopped liver, was extraordinary.

By contrast, I hadn’t felt as close to my mother. While my dad and I shared jokes and a common interest in music, when I was in my pre-teen years, I decided that my mother was stoic, cold, and unable to connect with me emotionally. We didn’t spend much time talking and I didn’t enjoy her cooking.

Eventually I decided that I no longer wanted to be associated with the people in my mother’s family: Eastern European Jews. Their heritage, religion, language, customs, and even their food, including my formerly beloved blintzes, had become embarrassing to me. I conveniently forgot about the hard work and sacrifices my family had made to give me the life that I was taking for granted. I forgot how my mother had paid for things – my cello lessons, an expensive private college, and financial support she gave me when I was having some significant personal struggles – not to mention unwavering moral support.

Years passed and the gulf between me and my mother widened. When my parents moved to Florida, I never made visiting them a priority although my mom took the time to visit me. When I was cast as a professional actor in plays in Boston and New York City, my mother always came to see my performances. After the shows she would meet me, give me a hug and, before I had a chance to ask what she thought of my performance, she would whisper in my ear, “You were the best one.”

When I started to participate in Instantaneous Transformation seminars with Ariel and Shya, I saw that I had preconceived notions of my mother. I didn’t see her as she was. I saw her as I thought she was. That’s not the same thing. My thoughts about her were colored by a filter, put in place by my disgruntled teenage self who’d been insecure and desperate to fit in. Once I saw this important distinction, I was able to truly listen to what Mom had to say and to see things from her perspective. I saw her loving nature and acts, both past and present, because they were no longer at odds with my own very strong point of view. I was suddenly able to remember the hugs as well as the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches with no crusts. I even remembered when I went through my “purple phase” and Mom knitted me a purple sweater. It was well made, but in retrospect it wasn’t a great color decision for me. As a result of my new perspective, our relationship became closer and sweeter.

My grandma Dora is long gone. My mother is ninety-one and her health and memory are fading. She’s confined to a wheelchair and although her long-term memory is generally good, her short-term memory is nonexistent. She remembers my Dad, but not that he’s been dead for twenty years.

I recently went down to Florida to visit her. At first she thought I was a doctor, which was not a total loss. I’m a lawyer and a literary agent, but she had dreamt of my becoming a doctor, and to her I was. She told me she’d enjoyed my comedy show the night before (I was a standup comedian several years ago) although she felt I went on a little too long. Of course there was no show, but she was happy, especially that she’d stayed at my friend Oprah’s apartment. I was pleased to learn that I am close friends with Oprah Winfrey.

I wasn’t upset with Mom’s confusion. As long as she wasn’t depressed or scared, I rolled with it, going along with her reality. But she wasn’t eating and her nurses and aides were concerned. An additional benefit of my participating in the Kanes’ seminars is that I’ve become very intuitive. More accurately, I’ve allowed my intuition to override what used to be my denial and doubt.

Flat Book Cover.jpgI knew in my gut that blintzes would reignite my mother’s appetite. I asked the medical professionals if there were concerns about fat, salt or any other nutritional caveats. They said my mother needed calories and, at this point, any were good. I went to a deli near my mom’s house and on the way home, my car was filled with the familiar aroma of blintzes and matzo ball soup. Images of my grandmother’s smile went through my mind. I heard the roar of the crowd at Yankee stadium as we walked through her Bronx neighborhood. Most importantly, I felt the lineage of love that traveled from Dora through my mother to me. Unexpected tears welled up as I drove the Florida roads, far from New York City. I was grateful I could allow myself the pleasure of those tears, the welling of love and affection. When my mother devoured two blintzes and smiled at me, my chest swelled with gratitude for Instantaneous Transformation. My heritage is rich and full of love and life. In that moment, I rediscovered that life is in the blintzes.

This is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, which is available wherever books are sold as of November 12, 2018.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYCGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books

It’s Time to Remove The Enemy’s Labels On Our Lives

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Empowerment
It’s Time to Remove The Enemy’s Labels On Our Lives

Prerecording Living Within the Sweet Spot with Alex Seeley, Pastor and world changer was one of the most compelling hours of my life. Here is a taste of who she is and what she is so passionate about. Details of her new book Tailor Made, and from the heart of Alex Seeley herself…

From the moment we enter this world, we are labeled by well-meaning people who are quick to try to define us: “She’s the smart one,” “He’s so quiet,” “She’s bossy,” “He’s so lazy,” etc etc. And before we know it, those powerful words have actually taken hold, becoming part of our very personality and character.  We somehow let them define us. For years, I personally wore the label of “accident.” Believing I was unwanted by others from even before I was born, I spent years wishing I was invisible and struggled to find acceptance in all the wrong places. 

My heart’s desire for my book “Tailor Made” is to articulate, reveal and explore how we can actually discover our true identity in Christ. In the book, I unpack the power of replacing the faulty and dangerous labels we’ve allowed to stick to our lives, and uncover the keys to truly flourishing and succeeding in life no matter where we came from or how difficult life has been. This is my story, it’s my community and it’s our true-life conversations and journeys – and I’m presenting our struggles and breakthroughs to explain and encourage those going through the same trials and tribulations.

It’s time to remove the enemy’s labels on our lives in order to uncover our true identities—the people God created us to be! —Alex Seeley

For more from Alex head to my August 1, 2018 episode of Living Within the Sweet Spot HERE.

Faith Infused Living… Reaches Goals Higher!
Niccie Kliegl, CLC, RN

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Walk a Mile…or Two or Ten…in Their Shoes By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Walk a Mile…or Two or Ten…in Their Shoes By Ariel & Shya Kane

May 3: Walk a Mile… or Two or Ten… in Their Shoes

It’s so easy to judge how your parents raised you and how they live their lives, but only if you lack compassion for all that it means to be human. Take a chance. Set down your story and your need to be right and walk a mile… or two or ten… in their shoes. You just might end up being grateful instead. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141!

Listen Live this Wednesday, May 3rd at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel 

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone
Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device
VoiceAmerica app for Apple
– VoiceAmerica app for Android

“You Didn’t Do it Right Daddy!” by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave

June 15, 2016: “You Didn’t Do it Right Daddy!”

Are you still blaming your parents for how your life turned out? Join Ariel & Shya Kane in Being Here with special guests Dave Stern, father of three, and Andy Gideon, father of two, and discover that it is time for forgiveness – especially for yourself.

Listen Live this Wednesday, June 15th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

Special Guests:

Andy

Andy Gideon: Andy is co-owner of TAG Online, a full service web company, with his wife Amy and father of Alex and Aidan.

Dave

Dave Stern: Dave is a DevOps Engineer at FiftyThree, a technology company that builds tools for mobile creation. Dave and his wife Pam are parents of Gavin and twin girls, Maia and Leyla.

Burn The List

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7th Wave

May 18, 2016: Burn the List

Do you keep lists of your partner’s transgressions – or even of your own? Ready to live your life unencumbered by resentments and regrets? Tune in to Being Here and ignite the fire to burn those lists – no matches required. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!

Listen Live this Wednesday, May 18th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

Show Me How to Remember Your Power through Self-Love and Forgiveness by Angela Blaha

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Show Me How to Remember Your Power through Self-Love and Forgiveness by Angela Blaha

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“There is no greater gift you can give to yourself and the people you love in your life than to learn to love who you are at a soul love,” writes Angela Blaha.  “Remembering that I am from Love is the most freeing and empowering gift I have given myself.”  The author’s Show Me: How to Remember Your Power through Self-Love and Forgiveness offers a new way of being that begins with the experience of love at a vibrational level.

Tune in live every Tuesday at 10am PST to Conscious Conversations

Forgive and Forget

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7th Wave

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9/30/15 – Forgive and Forget

The definition of forgiveness is to give up the right to punish, to cancel a debt – make as if it never happened.  Wouldn’t it be nice to live your life without past regrets or grudges? Listen in to this episode of Being Here and discover how to truly forgive and forget.

Listen Live this Wednesday, September 30th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

The Gift of Forgiveness

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The Gift of Forgiveness

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Every week, Express Yourself!™ will bring you a stimulating program based on a chapter from our award winning book Be the Star You Are!® for Teens.

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When someone does you wrong, it can be hard to forgive. Without forgiveness, we can’t move on. Host Asya Gonzalez reads the chapter, The Gift of Forgiveness, from both books, Be the Star You Are!® for Teens and Be the Star You Are!® 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference where we learn that time spent blaming and complaining is totally wasted. We are the winners, not the losers, when we forgive and let go because it means that we can also forgive ourselves.

Caiseen Kelley-Express Yourself
Co-host Caiseen Kelly joins Asya to interview mega best selling author Mary Nethery about why she writes about forgiveness in her forthcoming novel, Nabbed in New Orleans. Mary Nethery deals with a band of friends on an adventure in post Katrina New Orleans in which they discover love, friendship, and find forgiveness. Finally, our teen hosts discuss how forgiveness has moved them forward in their own lives and how teens can embrace this virtue. Forgive and forge ahead.
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Bio: Mary Nethery
New York Times, USA Today and Publisher’s Weekly bestselling author Mary Nethery’s latest endeavor, “Nabbed In New Orleans”, is her highly anticipated contemporary middle grade novel, set in post New Orleans Katrina. Nethery’s “Nabbed in New Orleans” is a work-in-progress coming of age adventure, dealing with hope and fear . . . and heroic animals and their heroic and fallible human friends.  Aside from her many captivating, and child and parent favorite, picture books, Nethery collaborated with her dear friend Kirby Larson on Two Bobbies: A True Story of Hurricane Katrina, Friendship and Survival, recipient of the ASCPA’s Henry Burgh Book Award; and Nubs: The True Story of a Mutt, a Marine and a Miracle, recipient of the Christopher Medal and the National Parenting Publication Gold Award. Nethery is represented by Jane Putch of Eyebait Management and lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico with her patient husband and brilliant cat. http://www.marynethery.com/
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Express Yourself! Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are! charity. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences. Dare to care!

Be the Star You Are! charity. It’s the Season of Giving Make a donation today. Buy books and shirts at StarStyle Radio.
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Come visit our Be the Star You Are! booth at the Pear and Wine Festival on Sept. 26th from 10-4pm and pick up a copy of The Adventures of Blue Ocean Bob.

The Importance of Empathy

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The Importance of Empathy

empathy

Everyone deserves our empathy, even when, or more accurately, especially when they have harmed us. This is different from forgiveness. Empathy opens up the heart even wider because it is an aspect of love. It allows us to walk in another person’s shoes, to see and feel life from their perspective. It expands our humanity and enriches our life because we are able to give and receive more love. It allows us to heal the wounds that we have suffered at the hands of the wounded people who have been in our lives. As we let go of the pain, anger and negative emotions, we make more room for joy, happiness and love.

Read More HERE

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