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Joy to the World

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Empowerment
Joy to the World

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Merry Christmas from All of Us!
GIVE THE GIFT OF JOY TO THE WORLD!

MIRACLE MOMENT®

“Find a place inside where there is joy, and the joy will burn out the pain.” Joseph Campbell


A MESSAGE FROM FOUNDER/EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CYNTHIA BRIAN

It’s the season to be jolly and goodness knows, we are all trying.

The Chinese have a powerful proverb that states, “If you want joy for an hour, take a nap. If you want joy for a day, go fishing, if you want joy for a year inherit a fortune, but if you want joy for a lifetime…help someone else!” 

Joy is a feeling of fulfillment. It can be found at work, at home, and anywhere when you are willing to experience it.

How can we bring more joy into our lives?  Start by taking one day this week to share joy with everyone you know. Offer a smile, a kind word, a compliment, help with a taxing project. Increase your offerings until you are joyful seven days a day. No need for a seventh day break. Your joy will bless them, but it will bless you more!

This Christmas, give the gift of joy and rejoice in the feeling of helping someone else to be happy.

You are the star of your own performance.

From our family to yours, have a healthy, happy, joyful Christmas.

And thank you for being part of our Be the Star You Are!® family. You are the reason for our joy!

Cynthia Brian

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Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


I’m almost there

by Ruhani Chhabra

my entire life i was drowning

pushed down by my own hands

i longed to find those on the shore

craved their sweet validation

not knowing so many of them

were sinking alongside me

eventually i realized

air that held love for myself

was a much better alternative

than this bottomless, murky ocean

of meaningless negativity

my hands relinquished their hold

when i understood my flaws are just features

i was scared to appreciate

the beautiful body and strong spirit

i always looked down upon

is bringing me to the surface

and I’m almost there

Ruhani Chhabra, is a 16-year-old girl from California who is a radio host and reporter of Teenship on Express Yourself!®. She says that having the opportunity to be a radio host and reporter is the highlight of her year and she greatly appreciates the opportunities that being part of Be the Star You Are!® has granted. Ruhani enjoys writing, reading, and listening to music. When she’s older, she wants to travel around the world and teach literature. Listen to Express Yourself!® at https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself

Ruhani Express yourself host


SHOP and GIVE!

We have suggestions for you to shop, save, and stay safe. Please use these web sites for all of your shopping essentials.

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

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2. Discounted books at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

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3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores :https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

4. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

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5. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” black tanks and books at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

T-shirts

BTSYA 3 book series

6. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4


BLESSINGS, GRACE, GRATITUDE, AND JOY OF THE SEASON!

HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!

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Be the Star You Are!® has been honored with a Top-Rated Award for 2021 from Great Nonprofits! We appreciate all of your contributions! https://greatnonprofits.org/org/be-the-star-you-are-inc

DONATE!

https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


FAREWELL AND THANK YOU!

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For almost two decades, The Reading Tub has been a literacy partner of Be the Star You Are!® publishing book reviews written by our teen volunteer Star Book Review Team. Founder and Executive Director of The Reading Tub, Terry Doherty, and Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!®, Cynthia Brian, have worked closely together throughout the years to bring literacy home to families, teachers, guardians, librarians, and all those who love books.  Although the website for the books that have already been reviewed will remain available for viewing at https://thereadingtub.org/books/be-the-star-you-are/, The Reading Tub will be retiring its collaboration at the end of 2021. We want to thank Terry for her incredible devotion to literacy and our collaboration throughout the years. Bravo Terry.

But worry not! Terry’s love of reading and her passion for literacy have not waned!! She has piles of books still to read and review and will continue to share literacy tips and reading ideas through the Reading Tub’s social media, as well as via the Cybils Awards, a literacy nonprofit where she serves on the board. (http://www.cybils.com/about-the-cybils-awards) Terry initially created The Reading Tub as a hobby website, and after 20 years, is going to return to those roots.

She will be contributing to our Be the Star You Are!® newsletter so stay tuned for more. Thanks Terry for your dedication to the minds of our youth.

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Reviews from Be the Star You Are!® teen volunteers will continue to be available at http://www.btsya.com/book_reviews


CANDY CANES AND PUPPY DOGS

by Karen Kitchel

Candy canes to share and plush puppies to hug were the highlights of today in kindergarten.

Each Monday and Thursday I have the distinct honor of helping these amazing students learn to read. During our time together, I get to hear their stories, and enjoy some fun times.

Because I believe Christmas is a time for sharing, everyone was given a bag of candy canes and treats which they can share with their family. To brighten their break away from school, a little puppy dog is now in their backpack.

A treasured gift I received today, in addition to many heartfelt hugs, was a framed drawing signed by each kindergartener and a beautiful towel with a beautiful saying.   Many thanks to all the wonderful students and teachers.

Merry Christmas to all!

Karen Kitchel who penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, is the Kindness Coordinator volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor. www.scatteringkindness.com

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EMBRACE A WORLD OF JOY!

 
Listen to our two empowering radio broadcasts!

LIVE on Wednesdays from 4-5pm PT, be entertained, informed, amused, and educated on StarStyle-Be the Star You Are!. Then be inspired and motivated on

Sundays from 3-4pm PT, it’s Express Yourself! Teen Radio with our Be the Star You Are! star teen hosts and reporters.
 
VISIT https://www.StarStyleRadio.com for our line-up of guests.
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  • “Everything is a gift of the universe–even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, or separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment.”-Ken Keyes Jr.


MAKE A JOYFUL DIFFERENCE!

 
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contact : PO Box 376, Moraga, ca. 94556 www.BTSYA.org www.BetheSTARYouAre.org

Season of Gratitude and Giving

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Empowerment
Season of Gratitude and Giving

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Season of Gratitude & Giving
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MIRACLE MOMENT®

“Give thanks for unknown blessings already on their way.”  Native American saying


A MESSAGE FROM FOUNDER/EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CYNTHIA BRIAN

Cynthia Brian-Autum garden As we begin celebrations for our second Thanksgiving and holiday festivities during a pandemic, are you experiencing seasonal sadness or gracious gratitude? There is no doubt that the past 20 months have been challenging, isolating, and frightening. Yet, no matter what transpires, things could always be worse. My attitude is to always focus on the positive and express appreciation for what I have as opposed to what I have not.

Be the Star You Are!® has spent 23 years supporting those in need and our volunteers continue to give back. Next Tuesday, November 30th is Giving Tuesday, an international day of supporting the non profits that help benefit people and the planet. #Giving Tuesday was created in 2012 to counteract the spending of Black Friday and Cyber Monday with philanthropic giving to charities in need of support. It started in the U.S. and has quickly made its way across more than 70 countries. You’ll likely see the day branded as “#Giving Tuesday” to emphasize the collaborative power of social media to spread the word. As we move forward into a new year that will continue to reflect the impact of COVID-19, we hope that you will donate to Be the Star You Are!® so that we can continue our outreach programs the support and empower others. DONATE via PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504.

or through our GiveButter Campaign: https://givebutter.com/BetheSTAR.

If you shop on Amazon to buy your holiday gifts, another way to make a difference is to use Amazon Smile and designate Be the Star You Are!® as your charity of choice. With this direct link, .5% of your purchases will benefit BTSYA and you get all the same discounts, shipping, etc. Use this link:  https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

On December 4th from 11 am -2pm, come celebrate the Christmas Season with Be the Star You Are!® at Santa Day at 5 A. We give our gratitude to Mark Hoogs Team at State Farm Insurance  (www.TeamHoogs.com) for sponsoring Be the Star You Are!® More info at https://www.bethestaryouare.org/copy-of-events

I want to personally thank all of our volunteers and supporters for being part of our Be the Star You Are!® family. Everyone counts. Everyone is appreciated.

Whatever you do this week, may you have a joyous and healthy Thanksgiving and know that unseen blessings are on their way.

Express gratitude and give when possible.

With sincerest thanks,

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Give Butter Campaign: GiveButter 

https://givebutter.com/be-the-star-you-are-charity


THANKS FOR YOUR KINDNESS 

Thank you 1Today is a good time to thank you for all the kindness you have shown to people everywhere.  We never know the impact of our little “thanks” when someone just needs one uplifting word.

May gratitude be always on your lips and in your heart.

 Karen Kitchel is the Kindness Coordinator for Be the Star You Are!® www.scatteringkindness.com


SANTA DAY at 5 A

XMAS with Santa 2018It’s a FREE day of family fun with our BTSYA volunteers helping kids write letters to Santa. Join us on Saturday, December 4th from 11am-2pm. Everyone enjoys hot cocoa, snacks, treats, and a photo with Jolly St. Nick and his elf. Location is 5A Rent-A-Space at 455 Moraga Dr Suite F. Thanks to Mark Hoogs Team at State Farm Insurance  (www.TeamHoogs.com) for sponsoring Be the Star You Are!® More info at https://www.bethestaryouare.org/copy-of-events


LISTEN TO THANKSGIVING BROADCASTS

https://www.starstyleradio.comCynthia Brian- Unique talk radio copySMALLTo get you in the holiday mood, tune in to our two radio shows for a big helping of pumpkin pie and all the Thanksgiving trimmings. What are we thankful for? YOU!

StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!: Thanksgiving Gratitude: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/134495/thanksgiving-gratitude-counterfeit-goods-smell-study

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Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio: Coast to Coast Thanksgiving: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/134487/gratitude-thanksgiving-and-country-musics-mikayla-lane

Happy Autumn


HOLIDAYS ARE HERE-BOOKS ARE GIFTS THAT GIVE!

Cynthia Brian books bannerIn honor of our 20th anniversary since being on the first New York Times best seller list, first edition, autographed books are discounted in a special sale with proceeds benefitting Be the Star You Are!® You will also receive extra goodies and FREE music CD with your purchase when you buy from the website. Stock up now! http://starstylestore.net

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Happy thanksgiving-Thankful

SHOP and GIVE!

We have suggestions for you to shop, save, and stay safe. Please use these web sites for all of your shopping essentials.

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2020 Amazon smile logo

2. Discounted books at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

Giving Assistant Icon 234x60

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores :https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

4. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

2020 IGIVE logo

5. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” black tanks and books at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

T-shirts

BTSYA 3 book series

6. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4



THANKSGIVING IS A SPECIAL DAY OF GRATITUDE. Savor the blessings.thanksgiving Message 3


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Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3 charity, PO Box 376, Moraga, Ca. 94556

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All We Need is Love

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Empowerment
All We Need is Love

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All You Need is Love!
Happy Valentine’s Day

MIRACLE MOMENT®

“All you need is love

All you need is love

All you need is love, love

Love is all you need”

The Beatles

 


A MESSAGE FROM FOUNDER/EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR, CYNTHIA BRIAN 

Cynthia-star earringFebruary is American Heath Month and Black History Month. It also celebrate two significant holidays, Valentine’s Day and Presidents’ Day.

American Heart Month encourages us to take care of our hearts by motivating individuals to adopt healthy lifestyles to present heart disease.

Black History Month began in 1926 to celebrate Negro History Week because the birthdays of both Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglas, two Americans who shaped African American history were on February 12 and February 14th. In 1976, President Gerald Ford launched Black History Month.

Valentine’s Day, with its third century roots in the Roman Empire emboldens us to share the love. The Roman festival of Lupercalia, which celebrated the coming of spring and included fertility rites and other activities morphed into a minor Western Christian feast day honoring a Christian martyr named Saint Valentine. Today it is a commercial celebration of affection, love, and romance.

Presidents’ Day, originally established in 1885 to recognize George Washington, has since 1971’s’s Uniform Monday Holiday Act, been a three day weekend honoring all Presidents.

The single message that I understand from all of these commemorations is the necessity for all of us to increase our love quotient. The times have been tough and everyone has been challenged. People are fatigued. We all are looking forward to hugging our loved ones again.

This month share your love in safe, simple ways. Love is more than romance. Everyone craves appreciation, attention, and approval. Write a note to a friend. Pick up the phone. Smile at a stranger. Leave flowers for a neighbor. Offer a compliment. Congratulate a success. Make a donation to charity. (We hope you’ll chose Be the Star You Are!®)

And don’t forget self-care. It may be the most important love of all.

For an hour of power focusing on health at home and staying safe as you navigate the pandemic, vaccine, and life, tune in to StarStyle ®-Be the Star You Are!® self-care special on the Empowerment channel, https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/128331/health-at-home-prune-and-plan-vaccine-rollout

To find other ways to share the love and survive the pandemic happily, read on.

Remember, love always wins, kindness always prevails, and smiles keep us happy.

Wishing you a very loving February. Wear your mask, keep your distance, and be safe and sound.

Sending virtual hugs,

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


SCATTERING VALENTINE KINDNESS

karen kitchel with millennial book 2By Karen Kitchel

We often remember our spouses, kids, or special friends on Valentine’s Day. But how about reaching folks who may not know what it’s like to feel special? Keep it simple. Pick up a bag of little chocolate hearts and put them in your pocket.  Wearing your mask, when you are out for a walk or going to an appointment, look for someone whose holiday you can brighten. Maintain social distancing, smile, and say “Here’s a little treat for you, CATCH, and have a Happy Valentine’s Day!”  Toss the candy gently while you scatter Valentine kindness.

Karen Kitchel who penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, is the Kindness Coordinator volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor. www.scatteringkindness.com Valentine-Hearts-1024x630


WELCOME TO NEW EXPRESS YOURSELF! REPORTER, DIYA

Diya Hituvalli-headshotBe the Star You Are!® is thrilled to welcome our newest teen reporter to Express Yourself!™ Radio. Diya Hituvalli is a junior from the Bay Area. She is passionate about technology, speech, literacy, women-empowerment, and business. Her eclectic interests include mindfulness, exploring other cultures, and fashion.On Express Yourself!, her segment is called Silver Lining where she discusses elements of life with added humor. Tune into her debut show on Valentine’s Day where she offers the history of the celebration along with humorous trivia at https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/128618/valentines-day-and-relationship-building 


HAPPILY SURVIVING THE PANDEMIC: Two Teens Offer Tips

Nihal Gill 2021If you’ve been sheltering-at-home, doing on-line school, and missing getting together with friends and family, two Be the Star You Are!® volunteers who are also reporters on Express Yourself! Teen Radio, Nihal Gil and Andrea Smith, spotlight how you can make this time a very happy and exciting memory. Try bringing a positive outlook, these tips are not just for teens but for anyone who wants to stay upbeat and happy during these trying times. Meet our youth reporters: https://www.starstyleradio.com/expressyourselfteenradio

Nihal Gil offers activities that interest him and keep him excited. Hopefully they will encourage you as well.

  1. Play sports as it is important to stay active. His favorite sport is golf which he finds relaxing.
  2. Spend time with family. On the weekends, watch movies together or play board games.
  3. Volunteer to help your community.
  4. Game online with friends, cousins, and others to socialize safely and laugh more.

Nihal Gil is a reporter on Express Yourself! Teen Radio with a segment called Spark the Interest. As a 16 year old sophomore at Turlock High School where he plays varsity golf, is involved in Key Club, and expresses his love for music by playing piano. He teaches STEM/Robotics to elementary students and has won an award for Outstanding Community Service. His goal is to spark in interest for health and wellness for teens globally.  https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself

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andrea side-stairsAndrea Smith, presents fun, creative ways to hang out with friends safely during the pandemic. You can listen to a full hour of her tips at Voice America Network, Empowerment Channel: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/128497/how-to-survive-happily-during-the-pandemic

  1. Socially distanced picnics! Set up a hangout at the beach or other nature place and have each person bring their own meal with their favorite foods! This is a great way to see your friends and eat delicious food all while staying socially distanced and safe!
  2. Socially distanced yoga! Sick of staying in your room during virtual school or work? Plan a yoga day with your besties to relieve your daily stresses and anxiety. Any park or beach would be the perfect location and of course staying 6 feet apart!
  3. Socially distanced painting session! Feeling like getting creative during quarantine? This is a perfect way to hang out with friends while doing something to spark your creative juices. Plan to meet in either a park or other outdoor location while staying socially distanced to have an awesome time!
  4. Birthday drive-through! Is it your best friend’s birthday coming up?! Plan a surprise birthday drive through for your friend and make him/her feel extra special on their big day! Have each person bring a gift and a card and leave it at the front porch of the birthday girl/boy.

Andrea Smith is a senior at Santa Margarita Catholic High school and will be attending Georgetown University in the fall of 2021. She loves the outdoors and is always up for a new adventure. She is extremely passionate about global politics through her devotion to Model United Nations. Andrea finds beauty in the simple things in life, is an avid swimmer, and also loves to share ways on how to live a happy and healthy lifestyle! She is a reporter for In the Spotlight and host on Express Yourself Teen Radio and looks forward to a career as a media personality. https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself


SHARING THE LOVE: NEW WORLD—A Choral Production from St. Marys Glee CLUB

New WorldDespite the Covid-19 pandemic, widespread fires, power outages, political unrest, and cold and windy outdoor rehearsals, the Glee Club was able to come together to create this virtual choir video of Björk’s New World.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51faeIB67so



EDU_TAINMENT WITH BE THE STAR YOU ARE! RADIO

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LIVE on Wednesdays from 4-5pm PT, be entertained, informed, amused, and educated on StarStyle-Be the Star You Are!. Then be inspired and motivated on

Sundays from 3-4pm PT, it’s Express Yourself! Teen Radio with our Be the Star You Are! star teen hosts and reporters.
 
You’ll meet authors, actors, artists, activists, musicians, poets, scientists, educators, and other creatives. Enjoy our upbeat, authentic, and fun radio parties on the Voice America Network Empowerment Channel or wherever you like to listen. 
Visit https://www.StarStyleRadio.com for our line-up of guests.
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SHOPPING?

We have suggestions for you to shop, save, and stay safe. Please use these web sites for all of your shopping essentials.

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2020 Amazon smile logo

2. Discounted books at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

Giving Assistant Icon 234x60

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores :https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc

4. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

2020 IGIVE logo

5. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” black tanks and books at StarStyle® Store: http://www.starstylestore.net/

T-shirts

Cynthia Brian books banner 3

6. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4


STAY SAFE! WEAR A MASK!

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For 2021: Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

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Share the Love, Celebrate Black History Month, Be Heart Healthy, and Happy Presidents’ Day

With gratitude from Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

 LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED! LOVE! 

Flag- Love is love

Be a Giver

Posted by presspass on
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Empowerment
Be a Giver

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December   30, 2019
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Be a GIVER!
We have the whole world in our hands.
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MESSAGE FROM CYNTHIA BRIAN Founder/Executive Director

cyn-xmas hat-treeBeing the Executive Director of a non-profit was not my dream. I never intended to start a charity.

My life was full, fun, and fanciful in the 1990s boasting a happy young family, a beautiful country home, glorious gardens, and a barnyard of rescued animals. As a successful actor, coach, and interior designer, my varied careers fulfilled my creative urges as well as increased my bank balance. Life was beautiful.

Since I was a little girl, volunteering was a part of life. Giving back was ingrained in us and it continued into my adulthood as I worked in my children’s classrooms, spearheaded events for worthy organizations, lead Girl Scouts, 4-H projects, sports activities, and lectured at church.  In my mind, it was other people who founded and created organizations and I had zero interest in becoming one of them.

Then my beloved Dad was diagnosed with a rare incurable cancer.  He was given three weeks to live and I became his champion to save his life, scouring the world for treatment in days before the internet. With excellent medical intervention and his positive attitude, our family enjoyed his earthly company for three additional years. When I asked him on his deathbed if there was anything more I could do for him, he smiled widely to exclaim, “I am dying a happy man. I married the woman I loved, we were blessed with five great children, and I worked in a profession that was my passion. I have lived my dreams.”

Something clicked inside me at that moment. My epiphany screamed pay it forward. My Daddy was a not a college-educated man, nor was he president of anything. He read books and did on the job training to learn what he needed as a farmer and a volunteer firefighter.  Dad was my hero, a man of his word, a pillar of strength, a person who helped everyone. Daddy was a giver. Although he was dying young, he felt that he had lived a life of purpose because he had loved, been loved, and fed people through his daily work.

It took many starts, stops, detours, and U-turns, but by 1999 I did pay it forward by establishing a charity, becoming a non-profit Founder and Executive Director. Be the Star You Are!®was created from my heart to empower those who needed it most—women, families, and kids.

It’s been a struggle to keep the vision alive. Thank goodness I didn’t have a crystal ball to see the many hurdles or I would never have started on this journey. Yet, now, working with teens and young adults, witnessing the slow yet steady progress to improve lives, I realize that this is the path I am meant to travel. Like my Daddy, I am a giver.

As I scroll through the hundreds of pages of volunteer sheets each filled with over a hundred names and positions, I am grateful for the experiences and the people who have grown with Be the Star You Are!® . We have planted pride, grown leaders, and reaped readers.

There comes an hour in all of our lives when we get turned upside down, meet disaster, sadness, loss, or regret face to face.  This is the opportunity to step up, put a smile on our faces, and make a difference.  Life offers choices. We can become bitter or we can become better. Better is best.

My Dad died many years ago in December. I miss my Dad and still hear his cheerful encouraging voice in my mind. His mentoring taught me how to live in the moment to recreate dreams, live with passion, welcome the possibilities, and see the potential in our world. His example showed me that I am enough and that each of us is unique with a special gift to share with our neighbors.

As 2019 ends and 2020 commences, I take this opportunity to thank you for being part of our collaborative community. Be the Star You Are!® volunteers are leading the way with empowerment, educational, communication, and literacy efforts that help others have a happily ever after. If you have the resources and believe in our mission, I encourage you to make a year-end tax-deductible donation, or better yet, sign up to donate regularly. You can donate via PAYPAL Giving Fund with no fees https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504 or send checks to BTSYA, PO Box 376, Moraga, California, 94556.

As we complete our first four months in our 21st year of being an all-volunteer charity with no paid staff, with your help,BTSYA will be able continue to make a difference in the years ahead for those in need. We must be doing something right to be around this long! Thank you for believing in our work to increase literacy and positive media messages.

Remember to shine brightly and smile widely. Be the star you were born to be. You can live your dreams.

Wishing you a very happy, healthy, and prosperous New Year!

Be a Giver! It will make you happy. 🙂

Cynthia Brian

Founder/Executive Director

Be the Star You Are!®

PO Box 376

Moraga, California 94556

Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org

https://www.BetheStarYouAre.org

http://www.BTSYA.org

DONATE: https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

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CHECKING ON CHARITY

2019-platinum-seal-guidestarBefore you donate this holiday season or anytime, it is always a great idea to make sure the charities that are asking for your dollars are legitimate. You want to be generous but you don’t want to be scammed. Here are a few tips to help you navigate.

  1. Locate your states charity regulator at www.nasconet.org
  2. To ascertain that your donation is tax-deductible, a charity must qualify as a 501 c 3 organization. Look up eligibility at https://irs.gov/charities-non-profits/tax-exempt-organization-search,
  3. Visit Great Non-Profits and read reviews. Be the Star You Are!® consistently receives 5 STAR reviews.  http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/be-the-star-you-are-inc/
  4. Check the watchdog of non-profits at GUIDESTAR: Search for your non-profit. Non-profits are rated as bronze, silver, gold, and platinum. Be the Star You Are!® receives a platinum rating.: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882
  5. Go directly to the charity website and read about the mission and outreach programs. This will help you identify any bogus charities that are approaching you with a similar name.
  6. Don’t donate over the phone or through people you don’t know. Some solicitations made over the phone or on the internet could be scams.
  7. Be the Star You Are!® has been working faithfully to help those in need since 1999. Don’t be a scrooge and donate now either directly via www.BetheStarYouAre.org or Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


IT’S ALL ABOUT THE GIVER

by Karen Kitchell

I believe gifts are meant to be tokens of appreciation or recognition of the role someone plays in our life. We can’t dictate what the receiver does with our gift, though we can enjoy knowing we have given our time and thought into choosing a meaningful gift. Instead of waiting to see or hear how very much someone likes what we have given, we can remind ourselves that we are a giver. And the world loves givers! It’s also important to remember that gifts can come from unexpected places and are not always things.

Karen Kitchel penned two chapters in the book, Be the Star You Are! Millennials to Boomers Celebrating Gifts of Positive Voices in a Changing Digital World, and is a dedicated volunteer with BTSYA. She serves meals to the homeless and is a volunteer teacher, writer, job coach, and mentor. www.scatteringkindness.com

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Thank you from everyone at Be the Star You Are!®

BTSYA High Res Logo CCI.Make sure to make a year-end tax=deductible donation if you are able. Visit https://www.BetheStarYouare.org
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MIRACLE MOMENT®

It’s not how much you have, it’s how much you give”  

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SHOPPING ALL YEAR ROUND?

Other easy ways that assist our mission and don’t cost you a penny!

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases https://smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882

2. Discounted books at Amazonhttp://www.amazon.com/shops/be_the_star_you_are_charity

3. Giving Assistant: Shop. Earn. Give! Use Giving Assistant to earn cash at 3500+ popular online stores, then donate a percentage to BTSYA:https://givingassistant.org/np#be-the-star-you-are-inc.

4. GoodShop: Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too, https://www.goodshop.com/nonprofit/be-the-star-you-are

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE: http://www.iGive.com/BTSYA

6. BTSYA Logo Store: http://btsya.rylees.net

7. Buy or Sell on EBAY:http://givingworks.ebay.com/charity-auctions/charity/be-the-star-you-are-501-c-3/1504/?favorite=link

8. Designer Clothes to Buy or Sell: https://www.unionandfifth.com/charities/be-the-star-you-are-moraga-ca/shop

9. Buy “Read, Lead, Succeed” T-shirts and tanks $19.99 at StarStyle® Store: https://www.CynthiaBrian.com/online-store

10. Are you a gamer, lover of new software, or other digital content? Buy all of your favorites at Humble Bundle. http://ow.ly/cYs130iN6n4

We appreciate a direct donation most of all via PAYPAL GIVING FUND at https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504

Checks can be sent to PO Box 376, Moraga, California 94556

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Direct Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®

Positive Results: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/positive-results

About Us: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/about_us

Programs: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/programs

How to Help: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/how-to-help

Blog: https://www.bethestaryouare.org/blog-1

Events: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/events

Contact us: http://www.bethestaryouare.org/contact

GREAT NON PROFITS REVIEWS: http://greatnonprofits.org/reviews/be-the-star-you-are-inc/

GUIDESTAR: https://www.guidestar.org/profile/94-3333882

We invite you to volunteer, get involved, or make a donation. Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES:  https://www.paypal.com/fundraiser/charity/1504


Classified Ads

If you’d like to advertise your service or product while supporting Be the Star You Are!®, we are now accepting approved ads that will benefit readers. Contact info@BetheStarYouAre.org for details.


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TUNE IN!

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Our two Be the Star You Are!® radio broadcasts provide entertainment, information, and empowerment in every hour of power.

Listen LIVE to StarStyle® every Wednesday from 4pm PT at http://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2206/be-the-star-you-are or catch us on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/starstyle-be-the-star-you-are!/id669630180?mt=2

For a young adult look at life, listen to Express Yourself!™ Sunday’s at 3pm PT  at https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2014/express-yourself or on iTunes at https://itunes.apple.com/podcast/express-yourself!/id481894121?mt=2

Read all about the Be the Star You Are!® Radio broadcasts, guests, reporters, hosts, and more at https://www.StarStyleRadio.com.


New Year's ChampagneMay you enjoy great health, peace, friendship, love, and joy now and forever. We have the whole world in our hands. Let’s take care of it.

With gratitude for you and your support from BTSYA volunteers!


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Being of Service, An Excerpt from Practical Enlightenment

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Being of Service, An Excerpt from Practical Enlightenment

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Being of Service, an Excerpt from Practical Enlightenment
by Ariel & Shya Kane

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who will have sought and found how to serve.” – Albert Schweitzer

Laurie showed up with a spring in her step and a noticeably lighter demeanor. There had been a festival in town and she had taken part. In actuality, she had seen little of the entertainment, nor had she partaken of the rides and activities. Instead, she was “in charge of beans.” The gathering was a community outreach project produced by her church and she had spent the day at the outdoor barbecue serving beans. We could tell that she came away well-fed.

There are infinite possibilities for service. In your own community there are bound to be plenty of pre-existing avenues or you can create some of your own. Throughout the world there is a grass roots movement to create Say YES to Your Life! Meetups where people volunteer to lead evenings dedicated to sharing their own experience of Practical Enlightenment, in effect giving it away so that others can have the experience for themselves. The producer of our Internet radio show Being Here has selflessly volunteered her time since 2007, making it possible for millions of people to have a taste of Instantaneous Transformation. Teams of volunteers in our transformational community set up our course rooms and manage supplies in order to support others in discovering what is possible for them.

If you want to experience true happiness and well-being in a sustained manner, there comes a time when you must take your attention off your own survival and getting somewhere, and discover how to take care of others and the environment around you. The challenge is that most people think that if they take their attention off their own survival, they won’t get what they want or need in life.

Taking care of the people around you supports you in having a brilliant life. But you can’t take care of others to get ahead, or to achieve anything. It’s got to be a pure act of being of service – not for what you are going to get out of doing it. Here is an example of this as told by Shya:

There was a time, many years ago, when I was managing a group of volunteers at a workshop. As we prepared the room before the seminar participants arrived, there was a couple who were complaining that they had to be there. They had volunteered because, at the time they had agreed to come, somebody had told them that they would get a lot out of assisting (in being of service to others). So they were not assisting to assist, they were assisting to “get” something for what they did. They brought the same complaint they had about other areas of their lives to this project. So I suggested to them that they go home because they didn’t really want to be there. I’m sure that when they got home they didn’t really want to be there either.

It’s funny, when you have your attention on you and how you are doing, for the most part, you’re miserable. Being of service allows you to stop focusing on yourself and striving to get somewhere “better,” which is a gift. Since no two things can occupy the same you at the same time, being of service allows you to take your attention off you and the machinations of your mind. Your mind can never be satisfied. Whenever you achieve something or acquire something it automatically races off to want the next thing as if where you are and how you are being is not sufficient, as if you are not already perfect, just as you are. Again, it is all about being here and saying Yes to your life in this moment rather than getting somewhere. But if you take care of others in order to manipulate yourself to be happier or more fulfilled it won’t work because in reality, you still have attention on you and how you are doing – the mind is sneaky that way.

IF YOU WANT TO BE OF SERVICE, START WHERE YOU ARE

Do you have an impulse to volunteer, to step outside of yourself, to make a difference with others? It’s easy. Start where you are. Take a look at the things you are passionate about and share them. Take a look at what is going on in your life and know that you are a gift and share that. We have friends who encourage others to accompany them in a full spectrum of activities that they are interested in: “Join me in Hot Yoga,” (a great way to ensure that you will exercise, by the way.) “I’m doing a new nutritional program and I am really excited about it. Want to do it with me?” (A great way to spur yourself to keep to your word when dieting). “I found a new coffee bar and I am sure you will love it.” Or “I just heard an audio book that you should try.”

It’s OK to be excited about your life. It’s OK to be wildly enthusiastic about what you are up to. It’s also OK if you feel upset. Sometimes people mistakenly think that they have to be in a “good” mood or the “right” place to be fit to share themselves or give of themselves to others. Simply taking the attention off your story and how you are doing and giving of yourself pulls you into the moment. For if you resist where you are you get lost there. But if you include your current state as though it is perfect, leave it alone and move on, you are free.

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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Bringing Children Back Into Your Life

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Bringing Children Back Into Your Life

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If you are looking for a new campaign to join than this week’s show has plenty of fuel for the soul.
Broadcast Saturday December 20th, on WGHN 1370 AM, Grand Haven, mornings 9-10, airing throughout the western shore cities of Lake Michigan, inspiration and education begin here.
David Hornack loves people, and especially children. We love David because he really cares about our overall health of society and multi-generational relationships. Together we have created the concept of “Boomers Rock Unified.”

Our Grand Haven ‘Boomers Rock Local’ guest is a giver with a bottomless well of love for care givers Petra Forbes. You know her from the ‘Caregiver Resource Center’ she created.
David Hornack, a 2013 Governors fitness award winner and principle of Horizon Elementary in Holt, Michigan is a unifying force of positive energy; you just cannot get enough of his enthusiasm and true grit love for his community and kids. Listen to our plan to bring a new concept to life, and build multi-generational goodwill and health.

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This is a can’t miss project and we need your help, plus it can help you as our ‘Middle-Living’ brothers and sisters move forward.
Petra Forbes found her passion for caregiving when she began her career at Mercy Health in 2001; it shows in her energy and passion.
Key Words and phrases to listen for-

• Staying generationally connected
• Youth and enrichment of the aging process
• Volunteering and supporting your community
• Advanced learning
• The wellness of giving and sharing knowledge
• Reading to youth
• Mentorship
• Social cues
• Exercise and maintaining your health
• Resources in Grand Haven, Michigan

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Focus on Women Entreprenours

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Focus on Women Entreprenours

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A ‘Culvers’ restaurant story of success!

This weeks episode brings together a very special ensemble, illustrating giving back to the community with the ‘Culvers Restaurant’ Franchisee in Grand Haven, Angela Taylor. As community leader and business owner Angela epitomizes our ‘Superior-Seniors’ in her hiring practices.

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Larry Cooper, a 76 year old young employee of Angelas, a perfect example of our never give up generation and not waiting for the end to occur will be our cleanup hitter on this episode.

Broadcast Saturday December 13th, on WGHN 1370 AM, Grand Haven, mornings 9-10, airing throughout the western shore cities of Lake Michigan, inspiration and education begin here.

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Angela will share the backstory of the ‘never say die’ attitude of building a premier business in Grand Haven from scratch. Her relationship with Larry Cooper and how his staying connected to life through her outreach and hiring practices of never ‘marginalizing’ older adults is testament to the Boomers Rock mantra of helping others achieve.

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Self Improvement-Becoming a Better Boomer by Tom Matt

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Self Improvement-Becoming a Better Boomer by Tom Matt

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”Tom Matt’s “Boomers Rock” Radio Talk Show’ is heard every Monday at 6:00pm EST on the Variety channel right here on VoiceAmerica. Please like our Facebook fan page, ‘Boomers Rock’, or follow us on Twitter, ‘Boomers_Rock’ and post any questions comments reactions and suggestions to help us deliver the best content to all ‘MiddleLiving’ adults.

You can email Tom- tom@boomersrock.us as well as join the family and collective at Boomers Rock

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I am a better person now than I was 6 years ago, and better still than I was eight or twelve years ago, and I don’t want to even mention sixteen years ago. But at each of those points in time, I was happy, and doing what I thought was the right thing. I made a few good choices that led me down a happier path, and I’m better off, as well as a better person, because of those choices. The trick is that, every day, we have those choices. If you make good, fundamental choices every day, you will see positive effects in your life. Here are a few of the key choices I make.

1. Build Great Relationships
I want to have the best relationship I can possibly have with my family, friends, coworkers, and acquaintances. If you have that loving, caring consistency with your spouse or significant other, children, parents, and any other family, you will have a strong chance of having great relationships with everyone you come in contact with. For my spouse, I write what I call “Ambush Notes” and slip them in her lunch box or leave them hidden in the newspaper, or somewhere where she will find it. It costs nothing, means a lot and she has kept them all over the years. If we can do nice things we can be a better person, and it carries over to all of our friendships, try doing something small, a compliment, a hug or just notice a little thing and say something. Good perpetuates good.

2. Build Structure Into Your Life
With the busy-ness of our 21st century, will all need to give to ourselves more of the quality of life tools that can make us improve our own self-esteem. Make it a priority to give to yourself the time you deserve as a reward for all of your hard work, anything you enjoy doing, and do it daily. Don’t let busy-ness steal your personal time; busy-ness will drag you down. Whether it’s 10 minutes of stretching and walking, or 15 minutes of reading, or 20 minutes of meditation, the point is that it must be a gift you give yourself. Before you can share love with others you must love yourself first.

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3. Create A Vision
If you had a magic wand, what would you create with it? Planting the seed of improvement, or dreaming of that goal that you have in your mind is hugely important to our future successes. If you can imagine it then you can achieve it; that may sound far-fetched, but take it from a guy who is living the dream, if you can’t see it, you will never achieve it.

4. Positive Mental Attitude
I truly believe that the law of attraction is a viable force in our universe. If you carry yourself with the feeling that life is a beautiful, and that we are the capable of achieving our dreams, then a positive attitude will draw those dreams to you (even if you merely convince yourself to make the necessary changes, then that is the mystical force driving the attraction). Be willing to build on all of the positives in your life, take this from the guy who did spend many years in the dark hole of alcohol and substance abuse, living with an upbeat demeanor will spill over into all that you come in contact with, and that it is completely possible without the temporary feelings delivered by drugs and alcohol. Practice gratitude thoughts and appreciate your positives. Do not diminish the small inconsequential normalcies of life.

5. Give To Others
In today’s society we are in need of all of the knowledge and assistance that people can donate and deliver. Take your special skill set and share it with another person, be a good listener, mentor others and share your abilities with groups in need. By becoming engaged you will reap such rewards that you will be amazed at how it can not only impact the lives of others but impact your own as well. Part of improving my life has been through finding what I am good at and sharing it. Which is why I love doing the talk show so much: it is a verbal outlet to helping many, bringing knowledgeable people together to share the goodness of life. I call it the “Refirement Zone” for a reason, igniting our lives takes thinking about what we truly want, by giving back we do.

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Try these thoughts, in your own way, and like I said if in one month you don’t see a change, you don’t feel a little bit better about things, send me an email to
Tom@boomersrock.us or see much more content at www.boomersrock.us

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Tom Matt is the host of the weekly talk show “Boomers Rock”, heard on WGHN 1370 AM Saturday mornings at 9:00 in Grand Haven, Michigan, and syndicated on the Internet here at VoiceAmerica. His show is also heard on the Spartan Sports network SSN/247. This is where he brings experts in to discuss all issues that enhance our quality of life.

Tom welcomes comments and feedback, on his site Boomers Rock, please join our family and change the world! Visit our website, sign up and become part of the solution, its free and always welcoming/

All aboard! –

Miracle Moment

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Miracle Moment

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“You haven’t learned how to live until you’ve learned how to give!” Kirk Douglas Gratitude from Founder, Cynthia Brian. The rains have begun and Northern California is drinking in deeply! How grateful we are for this precipitation as another year of drought could devastate our beautiful state and its farming communities. Thanksgiving is a time to express our appreciation for all of our blessings and challenges. Serving as Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® is a gift from my heart and I thank all of you who have so generously supported our programs and outreach services with your time, your energy, your expertise, and your dollars. In our 16th year as a 501c3, we are celebrating many milestones and thrilled to be honored again as a Top Non Profit. On November 21st, our teen radio show, Express Yourself!™ rejoiced to be broadcasting three years. What began with only five teen reporters has grown to thirty from around the United States. Read about our teens and watch an inspiring video from host, Henna Hundal, as she talks about how being part of Be the Star You Are!®’s radio team has changed her life.

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This past week, the Moraga Chamber of Commerce honored Be the Star You Are!® by selecting us as its charity of choice for holiday contributions. We want to say THANK YOU to the Moraga Chamber for choosing Be the Star You Are!® and hope that other businesses, chambers, and organizations will also consider choosing BTSYA as our goal is to grow leaders. We are so thankful to be able to use these fundsnot only to continue our two wonderful radio programs, but to make a difference in the lives of those less fortunate with our gift of new books. We have been busy packing boxes to donate to Spark of Love, Los Angeles Fire Department, Toys for Tots, Moraga Fire Department, Children’s Hospital, and UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital. Speaking of new books, for the first time ever, we are discounting three of our signature books to only $9.99 plus $6.00 shipping through December 31 and hope that you’ll purchase several copies for everyone on your holiday list.

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As autumn fades to winter, it’s time to open your wallets for charitable giving. We have lots of ways you can help and we know you want to give and live. December 2 is Giving Tuesday, so please make a tax deductible contribution with funds that will be matched. If you are an on-lilne shopper, check out our shop and give below with Amazon Smile, IGIVE, GoodSearch, EBAY, and our own BTSYA Logo Store. All give a percentage to Be the Star You Are!® with no additional cost to you. Read on for inspiration. From our hearts to yours, may grace and gratitude be part of your Thanksgiving and holidays.

Thank you for sharing and caring. Everyone counts. My virtual door is always open. Happy Thanksgiving,

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EVENT: Letters to Santa

Bring your little ones to 5 A Rent-A-Space on December 13th between 11-1:30 where Be the Star You Are!® volunteers will help with writing letters to Santa. Enjoy a photo with Santa, cookies, cocoa, carols, and buy Xmas cards and books as a donation to the charity. Express Yourself!™ Teen Radio reporter and chanteuse, Jennifer Lee, will entertain with her Christmas singing. 5 A Rent a Space, 455 Moraga Rd. #F, Moraga, 94556 SHOP and GIVE  If you love to shop online, you’ll love the ways you can be donating to Be the Star You Are!® without spending a penny more, and sometimes saving a lot. The next time you want to buy ANYTHING, click on one of our links and you’ll be supporting BTSYA while getting the best value for yourself!

Ways to Help

1. AmazonSmile donates .5% of purchases when you click here.

2. Discounted books at Amazon

3. Buy or Sell on EBAY

4. Use GoodSearch to search the web & buy from your favorite stores,. Choose Be the Star You Are as your charity to support. You can log in with Facebook, too! GoodShop App

5. Shop at over 1300 stores on IGIVE

6. BTSYA Logo StoreIn the News Our volunteers are talented. They live our creed of “To be a leader, you must be a reader! Read, Lead, Succeed!” Check out their reviews and published articles. Book Reviews Published at The Reading Tub Talk In the News Radio Flyer Tune in every Tuesday at NOON PT on the Voice America Kids Network to listen to our talented teens interview awesome guests from around the world. Links, stories, photos and archives. Thirty volunteers have now been trained as hosts and reporters. Live every Wednesday LIVE from 4-5pm on the Empowerment Channel of Voice America, hosts Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany bring you uplifting talk with T42, Health Matters, and interviews with authors and experts. Links, stories, photos, and archives. With a donation to Be the Star You Are!®  you may become a guest on our radio programs. Find out how by emailing Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org,. Get inspired, motivated, amused, and informed. Check us out! LEND US YOUR EARS!

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WAYS TO HELP

Check out our Be the Star You Are!® profile at moja.me/cynthiabrian. Be the Star You Are!®, a 501 c3 charity wants to collaborate with sponsors, benefactors, and donors to make a positive difference in the world. Thank you for your contributions to Be the Star You Are!® a TOP RATED NON PROFIT. We strive hard to enrich the lives of others while helping individuals be the stars they were born to be. We

GROW leaders.

To make a tax donation. Let’s SOAR Tothe STARS Together! HAPPY AUTUMN AND THANKSGIVING!

Changes In Gratitude: Changes In Attitude By Deborah Jane Wells (Part 2 of 2)

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Changes In Gratitude: Changes In Attitude By Deborah Jane Wells (Part 2 of 2)

DeborahCatPicking up where we left off at the end of part 1 of this article, before wrapping up this exploration of gratitude, I want to consider an additional essential aspect of genuine gratitude that truly fosters flow: the principle of circulation. While many people are extremely comfortable with giving to others, far fewer are equally comfortable with receiving from others. Raised with such precepts as, “It is better to give than receive” and “God loveth a cheerful giver,” many have mistakenly concluded that life is all about giving. But giving without a similar commitment to receiving blocks rather than fosters flow.

Flow requires free circulation, both inflow and outflow, with neither condition being desired, admired, or sought after more than the other. Giving with abandon accompanied by resistance to receiving is not what love looks like and it won’t encourage flow. Such duality indicates that fear has crept in and tainted what could, if fueled differently, be an act of love. The roots of this sort of circulation imbalance are planted firmly in misunderstanding the nature of power and assuming power is the same thing as force.

This misperception is based in the belief that giving will put me in the “up” position, leaving me superior and powerful. Once I succeed in giving to you, I can expect you to return the favor on demand in the future in whatever form I desire consistent with my unilateral terms and conditions.

With this definition of giving in place, it follows that I might perceive receiving would put me in the “down” position, leaving me inferior and powerless. Once I succumb to receiving from you, I will be obligated and vulnerable to acting for your benefit in the future—on demand and against my will—in ways that may conflict with my personal values and abilities.

The simple recalibration to these misperceptions is to realize that sort of exchange is not what love looks like. Remembering love’s essential attributes of respect, curiosity, and compassion will increase your clarity in that regard. As the giver, when you choose unconditional love as your core fuel, whatever the expectations of the receiver, you never give from a desire to control or manipulate others. And as the receiver, when you choose unconditional love as your core fuel, whatever the expectations of the giver, you are never obligated to respond from fear. Only you decide what is right for your life. What you give and receive, from and to whom, when, why, how, and how much are always yours to choose. In each moment, you have the opportunity to choose love over fear and behave in alignment with your choice.

Here’s an additional insight to help you move more comfortably into balance, harmony, and understanding concerning the roles of giving and receiving in fostering flow. The practice of “over-giving” is just another variation on the arrogance-based disrespectful interference I explore in my writings on respect. When we over-give, we rob the recipient of the opportunity to develop the healthy independence essential to personal growth and freedom. How do you know when this is the case? As always, look underneath your potential actions and be unflinchingly honest with yourself about whether your core fuel is love or fear. Once you recognize your fuel, you’ll have the opportunity to respect yourself and the other by making a conscious constructive choice.

People sometimes respond to this perspective on giving and receiving by saying, “But Deborah, it just feels so good to give!” Yes, it does feel good. And when you refuse to receive with gratitude and grace, you rob another of experiencing that joy of giving. Much as you may not like to admit it, such behavior demonstrates greediness: hoarding all of that good feeling for yourself. When you give but don’t embrace receiving, you imprison yourself with fear and your gifts become tainted.

Remember to consider the big picture when assessing how well circulation is working in your life. Don’t expect direct reciprocity in relation to what you give. Adopt a “pay it forward” mindset and the big picture God’s-eye view, knowing that the circulation you set in motion when you give to a friend or stranger, may return to you in ways you never dreamed of through people you don’t even know at a time well into the future. When you celebrate giving and receiving with a sense of joy and freedom, you exhibit genuine gratitude and foster for yourself and others lives of generous, effortless, gracious flow filled with faith, hope, prosperity, peace, and joy.

The only person controlling your life is you. Turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities by harnessing the transformative power of love—and gratitude—to step into your greatness. Choose your energy and change your life!

 

© Copyright 2013 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.

About the Author

What’s love got to do with minimizing stress and getting unstuck? Everything, according to empowerment coach and inspirational speaker Deborah Jane Wells, author of Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! During her 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, Deborah served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, she took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. Her recovery from burnout, including a sustained 80-pound weight loss and freedom from 10 years of debilitating depression, led to finding her purpose guiding others on their journeys. Through healing and self-exploration, she discovered that loving yourself unconditionally is the key to transforming your personal life, your work, and the world. Deborah’s books, blog, radio show, and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness the transformative power of love to step into their greatness. Learn more at the Deborah Jane Wells Website.

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