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The Art of Listening with Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
The Art of Listening with Ariel & Shya Kane


“True listening is actively listening to another with the intention of hearing what is being said from the other’s point of view.” – Ariel & Shya Kane

This month, we are celebrating our 30th wedding anniversary and our lives are truly wonderful! One of the biggest keys in keeping our relationship vibrant, loving and alive is listening. When you truly listen to another, it pulls you into the moment. And the moment is magic.

Experiencing sweetness, ease and fulfillment in all of your relationships, is a real possibility. We’ll explore this at our September 15th special event in NYC, Kisses Are Sweeter Than Whine, and our Art of Listening weekend seminar in NYC September 19th – 21st. Our friend Menna van Praag is also coming to town to lead a seminar on Writing Made Easy!


Life Is A Date
An excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational
Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage

If you’re dating or contemplating dating again, you may be reading this section with the desire to glean tips that will help you with that process. If you’ve been married for years, you may be skimming through this section to get on to the information that applies to you. You may erroneously think that you’re “beyond the dating stage” and may be rushing forward to find the marriage parts. But dating itself is a key building block for any relationship or marriage. In fact, when a couple gets into trouble, they have often forgotten to woo each other. They have forgotten how to date. It’s easy to forget when there are bills to be paid and children to be fed or when you’re busy trying to make your relationship “go somewhere.”

The two of us are on a succession of dates. They have already lasted 30 years and we expect a lifetime of them. Sometimes we stop what we’re doing when one or the other of us will say, “Want to take a date with me out to the mailbox?” Then we slip on our shoes and go out our front door. The screen door makes a creaking salute, and we often hold hands as we head out into our driveway, our feet crunching on the gravel. It’s a time to feel the air and smell the greenery and see the sun slanting through the trees. Or perhaps it’s a time to slide over the snow and watch the bare branches clatter in the wind. But it’s always a time just for us. Getting the mail is an excuse to be together.

Of course we don’t actually need an excuse since we live and work together, but we make one anyway. We have dates while doing the dishes and others while making a trip to the grocery store. We have a library date when we go together to pick out books on CD to listen to during the hour-long ride to New York City where we work. And occasionally over the years, we’ve even had a date in the emergency room as one or the other of us needed medical attention. It’s all an intimate adventure if you’re there for it.

Also tune to Being Here on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel with Ariel and Shya Kane is an ordinary person’s guide to Modern Day Enlightenment! This radio show is an exciting exploration, which opens the door to living in the moment. Through discussions and laughter you will discover how to be satisfied in all areas of your life, relate in more honest and natural ways, remain centered during life’s challenges, eliminate stress and dissolve those knee-jerk behaviors that rob you of your spontaneity and creativity. Ariel and Shya invite you to take a journey into Being Here. That is enough to simply, easily have a reality shift where you suddenly find yourself lighter, freer and more alive. Listeners will discover that there are no rules to follow or methods to learn. Being in the moment can transform even an ordinary circumstance into a profoundly moving, enlightening event. Don’t Miss Being Here! Tune in every Wednesday at 9:00 AM/PT, 12:00 PM/ET with Ariel and Shya Kane, right here on the 7th Wave Channel.

Check out the Video of the Month


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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. To find out more about the Kanes and their Transformational Community or to sign up to join their email newsletter, visit their website at: www.TransformationMadeEasy.com. Information about their three award-winning books – Working On Yourself Doesn’t Work: The 3 Simple Ideas that will Instantaneously Transform Your Life, How to Create A Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life and Being Here, Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment – is also available on their website. Their latest book, How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage, is the winner of 5 awards and is also available in Spanish.

The Power of Positive Affirmations By Kellie Hill

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Health & Wellness
The Power of Positive Affirmations By Kellie Hill


Tune in for “The Power of Positive Affirmations” on Eat Well To Live Well with Host Kellie Hill Every Monday at 2 PM Pacific Time on VoiceAmerica Health and Wellness Channel.

Being conscious of your thoughts can make the difference between success and failure. You think about an action – no matter how briefly, deliberately, or lengthy – and they you decide which action you are going to take. We set our intentions in all areas of our life. We must remove negative thoughts and positively support our health, happiness, and goals. Kellie is joined by Scott Armstrong of Boulder Coaching Academy and author of Best Affirmations Workbook to help listeners achieve their biggest dreams. Every thought we have is directed to our over 70 trillion cells so Scott says, “Stop listening to yourself and start talking to yourself.” He’ll help identify the steps necessary to make your own positive affirmations and positive quotes, explain tips to help you succeed, and offers an amazing free gift to every listener.

Guest Bio:

Scott Armstrong has over twenty successful years of sales, marketing and personal development experience. Scott has coached clients worldwide with outstanding success. He has been mentored by some of the world’s best personal development teachers such as: Anthony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer and Brian Tracy. His lifetime achievements include: Eagle Scout, University of Colorado graduate, author of two books now in over 65 countries, two-term President of Toastmasters International, qualified for and finished the 100th running of the Boston Marathon and he has completed 12 additional marathons overall. Scott’s personal mission is to embody and promote all aspects of a healthy life—mental, emotional, physical and spiritual. He lives with his beautiful wife Sarah, lakeside in the foothills of Boulder, Colorado.

When we eat well, we live well. When we live well, we have rich, vibrant, rewarding lives. Each week, Kellie Hill teaches us how easy eating well, and living well can be. Join Kellie as she pulls back the curtain on the mystery of how our foods affect our body. Eat Well to Live Well covers topics including our relationship with food, GMO’s, sweeteners, our immune systems, food cravings, and much more. Kellie Hill will have you focusing on eating properly prepared, nutrient-dense whole foods, which will increase both your health and happiness.


From Fear to Freedom By Paula Joyce

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From Fear to Freedom By Paula Joyce


Fear puts roadblocks in front of us that keep us from doing the very things that would bring us the most joy. To let go of fear, remind yourself:

  • Your fears rarely manifest.
  • Fear creates the same bodily sensations that excitement does.
  • Irrational fear dissipates when you take the first action step.

Our logical mind tells us why we are doing something or why we shouldn’t do it. Often, those reasons sound something like: I don’t have the time, I can’t afford it, I’m not capable of it… These are rarely the truth. They are, however, concepts that are society has come to believe and that throw a net of fear around our desires.

Sometimes the voice of fear is so loud that we can’t hear the “still small voice within.” What do you really want to do that you haven’t done? If you’ve lost touch with your desires, think back to your childhood dreams, joys and gifts. What do you want? Commit to doing it and you commit to yourself.

Here are some techniques to use when fear grabs hold of you.

  • Thank the voice of fear for sharing and ask it to take a seat on the couch. Often it just wants to be heard. It’s your choice whether you act upon the fear or the joy.
  • Hold hands with the fear and let it walk beside you as you move forward with your desires. Mark Twain said: “The only way around it, is through it.”
  • Listen to the words the voice is using. “I should” is a red flag warning you to avoid getting caught in fulfilling other people’s expectations that are not in your best interest. “I want” is a green light unless your actions will cause real harm, versus imagined harm, to yourself or others.
  • Perform a ritual to banish the fear. A common one is to write your fears down, tear them up and throw them away. An alternative is to burn them and spread the ashes in your garden to symbolically fertilize your dreams.
  • For those of you who have worked with me, you can discover and dissolve your hidden fears by doing the crayoning and writing exercise. When the voice of fear gets very loud, insistent and intimidating, you’re just a step fromfreedom. Take that step and feel the joy.

Suffering From Burnout? Love Is The Cure! by Deborah Jane Wells (Part 3 of 3)

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Suffering From Burnout? Love Is The Cure! by Deborah Jane Wells (Part 3 of 3)

deborah wellsPicking up where we left off at the end of part 2 of this article, becoming conscious and claiming your personal power to neutralize the judge will yield immeasurable benefits. You will literally be able to redefine your world, because there is no absolute reality, only the story you tell yourself about what is happening and what it means. Every being, encounter, and experience that comes my way is filtered through a conglomeration of lenses that results in my unique perceptions.

These lenses cause me to see my world in a certain way. They are influenced by my unique and complex mix of myriad factors: the family, cultural, and societal norms I was taught; my physical and mental abilities; my personality and natural talents; my birth order; the patterns I deduced from all my past experiences; and the assumptions I’ve presumed concerning what’s likely and possible in the future. For example, the game of golf can be perceived as any or all of the following, depending on your lenses:

  • a delightful afternoon immersed in nature
  • an exhilarating and rewarding competitive event
  • a fun way to exercise with friends
  • an endless day of humiliation and torture

Let’s look at my own experience with golf to access this insight more deeply. When we lived on the East Coast, my husband and I owned a vacation home in the Blue Ridge Mountains. When my son, Matt, was eleven years old, we enrolled him in kids’ camp to help him enjoy his time there even more by spending it being active outdoors with his peers. One weekend in August, he signed up for a daylong sports camp that provided tennis instruction in the morning and golf in the afternoon. He returned home at the end of the day utterly smitten with golf.

We were so thrilled by Matt’s enthusiasm that we enrolled in a family golf clinic so the three of us could learn and play together. We were all beginners, out there to have fun and enjoy the beauty of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We passed many a delightful afternoon playing nine holes. With a tee time late in the day and no one behind us on the course, we could take our time, observing the privilege of unlimited mulligans (do-overs) and stopping to harvest lost golf balls in the woods. Advancing the little white ball down the fairway to the little white cup was always secondary to having a good time.

Until I switched to a consulting firm where golf was not a hobby but a responsibility. One of the benefits—nay, expectations—of being a partner in this firm was that I would play golf with my colleagues and clients. In fact, I would be expected to woo prospective clients on the golf course. To do that, I was expected to be a moderately good golfer, not an embarrassment to my firm and myself.

Gone were the leisurely afternoons on my beloved Blue Ridge golf course. Now my games with family became practice for the performance my partners expected me to deliver. While swearing was not the norm for me, now when I missed the first two shots off the tee, I swore. Now when I hit a shot into a sand trap, I threw my club down the fairway while swearing. When this happened, I’d explain to my companions that my father had been in the merchant marines. They’d say, “Did he swear a lot?” “No,” I’d reply, “evidently it skipped a generation.”

Because children don’t do what we say but rather do what they see us do, it’s unsurprising that, in short order, my eleven-year-old was also throwing his clubs and swearing like a sailor. That’s when I finally got a grip. Matt and I agreed that when either of us behaved badly on the course, we had to take a time-out together in the golf cart until both of us had returned to civility. As a result, Matt and I went through a period where we spent more time in the golf cart than on the course. This may have been just as well, because we were living proof that anger is not necessarily a performance enhancer.

One day, weary of swearing, throwing clubs, and spending time in the cart, the two of us sat there, arms crossed, scowling. After a few minutes of reflection, I said, “Babe, this has got to stop. Neither of us is having any fun anymore. I think I’ve figured out my problem. I’m imagining the potentially angry, ridiculing voices of my partners in my head, and I can’t relax and have fun when I’ve put them in there to beat me up. What’s going on in your head?” He looked at me with all the disgust of a kid who believes his parent has gone ’round the bend and said, “I have no idea. I don’t even know your new partners!”

However unconscious the process may feel at the time, you are always manifesting the world you choose to see. You create your reality in each moment by choosing what you will think, believe, feel, and do based on what your lenses allow. You can choose to look through the lens of fear and remain weighed down and self-imprisoned, or you can choose the lens of love and embrace a life of freedom and flow. No outside event or situation, no other person can dictate my attitude. Newsflash: in your life, you are the great decider.

The only person controlling your life is you. Turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities by harnessing the transformative power of love to step into your greatness. Choose your energy and change your life!

© Copyright 2013 DJW Life Coach LLC. All rights reserved.

About the Author

What’s love got to do with minimizing stress and getting unstuck? Everything, according to empowerment coach and inspirational speaker Deborah Jane Wells, author of Choose Your Energy: Change Your Life! During her 30 years as an organization transformation consultant, Deborah served as a senior partner in four of the world’s largest, most prestigious global professional services firms. In 2005, she took a five-year sabbatical to find healing and peace because non-stop work had taken its toll. Her recovery from burnout, including a sustained 80-pound weight loss and freedom from 10 years of debilitating depression, led to finding her purpose guiding others on their journeys. Through healing and self-exploration, she discovered that loving yourself unconditionally is the key to transforming your personal life, your work, and the world. Deborah’s books, blog, radio show, and signature coaching programs help individuals and organizations harness that same transformative power of love to turn unexplored possibilities into fulfilling realities and step into their greatness. Learn more at Deborah Jane Wells.

What do you win by proving you are right BY RICHARD LEVY

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What do you win by proving you are right BY RICHARD LEVY

Young blonde girl wearing boxing gloves with Band-Aid on face close-up headshot, blue background

So many well-meaning, bright people wish to prove how intelligent they are. They seem to love to debate, outwit, and criticize others. This makes them feel big, right, in control.

Their debating skills may put them in the “right” column, as far as facts go. But their inability to see their own insecurities, fears, and deeply ingrained anger attracts all kind of challenges that they blame on others.

We all know these types. When dealing with them, remain faithful to yourself. Do not allow yourself to feel belittled. Instead, send them and yourself love. Appreciate, honor, adore, and celebrate your biggest fan: you!

Thoughts Make You Wealthy. Wealth and success start with what you choose to think and talk about most of the day.





 Richard Levy is a radio host for the show â€œWealthy Thoughts.”  on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel. Levy is a nationally acclaimed motivational speaker, author and life coach. He is best known for his “Thoughts Make You Wealthy” philosophy, which focuses on identifying negative habits and replacing them with abundant thoughts and behaviors that cultivate personal and professional success. Levy’s philosophy is practiced by thousands of people across the country and has helped transform the lives of many. Levy’s positive lifestyle led him to personal and professional success and now his pursuit to help others learn to think their way to abundant lives of success, wealth, health and love. He speaks at events all across the country and regularly holds wealth seminars. His first book, “Thoughts Make You Wealthy,” was published in 2012. Levy lives in Chicago, where he enjoys spending time with his wife Anne and their two dogs, Lucy and Ricky. 

Boston: Wealthy Thoughts Seminar on August 17. Click here!


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