All You Need is Love!
|Happy Valentine’s Day|
Dr. Jean Marie Farish, Author for Sivana East. Articles published in Sivana East:
Heaven On Earth: The Art Of Conscious Living
https://blog.sivanaspirit.com/mf-gn-heaven-on-earth-the-art-of conscious living/
Five Spiritual Principles To Recover After Loss
Why We Must Be Kind To Be Truly Happy
The world is in a state of fear and anxiety over this virus. Rational thought has been replaced by fear which is leading to mob and hoarder mentality. The worst people are resorting to total exploitation holding toilet paper and disinfecting wipes hostage. Every media outlet is giving us minute to minute updates on the virus. Depending on what news you listen to the information is often contradictory. What we all want is some sort of stability, but we are not getting it externally. When fear and emotions are high, intelligence is low.
Most of our businesses are closed or if we are lucky, we and our staff can work from home. Social distancing, a word I never heard two weeks ago, is now a standard component of nearly every conversation. We are all going through a “Life Altering Event” at the same time. I host a weekly internet radio show on the voiceamerica.com network called “Life Altering Events.” This is what I tell my listeners in 22 countries every week, I think it applies here:
Life altering events present us with opportunities to seize the moment and make difference in our own life, the lives of our loved ones. They are a fork in the road where we have a choice. We can choose to fall apart or we can choose to find the courage, pick up the pieces, deal with our grief and start moving forward toward better times and better people. Always remember this, it is never too late to have the life you want and deserve.
So now what? Consider this, now that we are away from the daily grind of life, it is the perfect time to press the reset button and look at our business and our life. As business leaders, we are always thinking about things we can do better; about how we can improve our processes; and how we can improve our customer’s experience. Unfortunately, we never find to time to sit down and reflect on the hundreds of thoughts racing through our mind. Our staff, who is closer to the situation, can’t offer suggestions because they are overwhelmed with their day-to-day activities. Well now you have the time – so let’s use it wisely. Turn off the news walk to a park or the ocean or whatever place gives you a sense of peace. Keep a safe social distance from others, take a deep breath and reflect on these four points:
1. Why are we doing what we are doing? It is more than just making a living. What value do we bring to the world and our customers. Are we doing things the best way for our customers or what is easiest for us? Be honest.
2. How do we do what we do? Talk or email your staff. Ask them how can we make this process better, more efficient and more effective. You may be shocked to hear their ideas. They may be living with an ineffective process because “it is what it is.”
3. Empower your staff to execute their idea. When people have “skin” in the game; when their input is valued enough to implement; they will give a level of effort you never saw before. They become the expert in their area. You may even develop “The Next Practice” rather than following the old best practice that is past its prime. I was always taught if I am the smartest person in the room, then I am in the wrong room.
4. Focus on continuous improvement. Don’t be like most organizations who try to “milk” a product or solution rather than continuing to improve. When your customers and staff see that you are totally committed to improving every aspect of your business, you will become the “go to” company. Your customers and staff will not even consider an alternative because they know you are meeting their needs today and will be there with even better solutions in the future.
It doesn’t matter what industry you are in; these points are universal. The more we try to control things, the less control we actually have. Something I say every week at the end of my radio show is this:
None of us are in this alone. The secret to walking on water is knowing where the rocks are.
The rocks are out there. You can find them. We can help you. Stop obsessing about COVID-19 and press the reset button. If you do, you will hit the ground running after this crisis is over, while others will be just starting to pick up the pieces.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” Dalai Lama XIV
A Message From Our Founder, Cynthia Brian
Whenever we felt angry with someone when we were children, my Mother would advise, “You’ll catch more bees with honey than vinegar. Be kind.” Although I wasn’t sure why she wanted us to catch bees, as we matured those words became the foundation of our characters. Kindness begets kindness.
The BTSYA Pop- Up Concert at Aegis Living spread the love among seniors and a pooch. Thanks to Chelsea Pelchat and Brigitte Jia for organizing such a kind event.
Jelina Liu has signed on to be the official videographer for upcoming SHINE webisodes. If you want to contribute to the scripts that focus on being the star you are, shoot me an email.
The Pear and Wine Festival will be held on Saturday, September 23 and we are thrilled that three of last year’s sponsors have once again stepped up to support Be the Star You Are!®. If you are interested in joining our STAR sponsors, email Cynthia@BetheStarYouAre.org. More information at www.BetheStarYouAre.org/events .
Our sincere thank you to our STARS:
Gold Star Sponsor: Michael Verbrugge Construction: www.mvcremodeling.com
Media Sponsor: The Lamorinda Weekly: www.lamorindaweekly.com
Silver Sponsor: MB Jesse Painting: www.mbjessee.com
The planning committee for our 20th anniversary celebration will be meeting at our offices on Tuesday, September 5th. If you’d like to help plan this exciting event, be in touch by email.
Our STAR Book Review Team has been on super drive these past few months reading and writing reviews to help learn about great books new and old. Check out www.BTSYA.org and click on Book Reviews for a plethora of ideas for fascinating reads for all ages.
As you prepare for the upcoming school season, take time to savor the sunshine while you enjoy the juicy fruits of summer. Give thanks for the farmers of our world who work to feed us all. You’ll want to read my article In Praise of Farmers. https://www.lamorindaweekly.com/archive/issue1112/Digging-Deep-Gardening-with-Cynthia-Brian-In-Praise-of-Farmers.html
Be kind to one another. Happy days! We’ll chat in September!
With gratitude and joy for your support. Remember that my virtual door is always open!
Be the Star You Are!®
PO Box 422
Moraga, Ca. 94556
By Karen Kitchel
If you asked most people if they want to scatter kindness, I believe you would hear a resounding “yes!” If you need some ideas on how to begin, here are a few simple ways to start scattering kindness.
Interrupt the ordinary
Think about the people who help you get life done (mail delivery person, garbage collector, etc.) Interrupt them on an ordinary day with a cold bottle of water or candy bar and a “thanks for what you do.”
Love from afar
Send a little treat or trinket with the name of your state to a faraway friend or distant relative with a post-it note that says you were just thinking about them.
While at the grocery store, pick up a box or two of popsicles and drop them off at a local shelter. All you have to say is “enjoy!”
Pennies for wishes
Save up your pennies and spread them out near a fountain where kids will find them, and they can make wishes.
Take the sting out of sorrow
Add to your calendar the birthday and anniversary dates of friends who have recently passed away. Then do something to remember the loved ones left behind on these difficult yet special days.
A line to say to make someone’s day
“That color sure looks good on you!”
Magazines for the homeless
If you enjoy reading, gather your used magazines or ask your doctor or dentist’s office to save some for you, and take them to a homeless shelter.
Make up a few note cards to keep in your purse or car. Randomly drop them on an empty park bench, a counter or windshield. They can say things like: “You are appreciated” – “Always remember how special you are” – “There is not another person in this universe just like you” – “You are better than butter!”
About the author:
Karen Kitchel is passionate about scattering kindness. As President of the Cheerful Givers nonprofit organization, she helped to bring birthday gifts to more than one million less fortunate children. Prior to that, she helped create a corporate university at BI Worldwide. Currently she serves meals to the homeless, is a job coach, teacher, writer and mentor. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Let Us Entertain You!
When you are looking for upbeat, positive, informative, and entertaining talk radio, tune in to StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® LIVE Wednesdays 4-5pm PT on the Voice America Network Empowerment Channel.
Also available in the archives and itunes anytime. Descriptions and photos at www.StarStyleRadio.com
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Sparkle at Sunset!
Dinner with a Stranger
by Ariel Kane
It had been years since Shya and I had eaten at an Ollieâs Noodle House. In the 80s and 90s we used to go to Manhattanâs Upper West Side to eat there. In those days we would make a special trip to have General Tsoâs chicken or jumbo shrimp, a crunchy fried delight with a semiâsweet hot sauce, on a bed of bright green broccoli. Sometimes we would even bring Shyaâs parents there, when they were still alive, to celebrate special occasions. Eventually that restaurant closed its doors and our lives moved on.
At the beginning of 2014, as if coming full circle, we found a new venue to hold our Manhattan seminars that was back in the neighborhood where I lived when Shya and I began seeing each other. In fact, from our course room in the Skyline Hotel, which is on 49th Street and 10th Avenue, we can actually see the building where we had our first date and eventually lived together. As Shya and I began to reacquaint ourselves with the neighborhood and to explore the area for likely spots to have a bite to eat, we could tell that things had changed dramatically from when we had lived there. Where once it was difficult to find a decent meal, now there are ubiquitous Thai restaurants and plenty of places to enjoy varied cuisine from vegan to steak, Mexican to ramen. So it was with great delight when we came upon an Ollieâs situated midâblock on 42nd Street between 9th and 10th Avenues.
It was late afternoon when we entered and since it was early for the dinner crowd, there werenât many patrons. Even so, the waitress seated us at a table nestled in a recessed nook against the wall, directly adjacent to an Asian man. After perusing our menus, Shya and I placed our orders and, sipping hot tea, sat back to wait.
Our neighbor had clearly ordered before we did, so it was only natural that he be served first.I was getting hungry by the time the waitress brought his appetizer and I was admittedly a bit nosey, too, for when I go out to eat, I frequently like to check out what other people in the restaurant are having. I have learned about many dishes I never would have considered that way. For instance, I once saw âburnt cauliflowerâ on a menu and the image it brought to mind lacked appeal. But after seeing caramelized flowerets mounded on someone elseâs plate, I ordered some for myself and wasnât disappointed. So when a porcelain bowl of something yummy looking that I had never seen before was placed on the table next to me, my interest was piqued. Inside a blue patterned bowl with a white interior sat a nest of long square shaped translucent noodles with bits of what looked like garlic in a spicy oil and soy based sauce.
âExcuse me,â I said. âWhat is that?â
It had never occurred to me that the man sitting next to me would not speak English but when he held his dish out, gesturing for me to take some, I came to realize that he did not speak my language and also that his culture was vastly different than mine. I experienced a split second of indecision. In my background eating off a strangerâs plate, albeit willingly offered, was taboo. I thought to wave my hands and say, âNo, no, no! Thatâs alright!â But somehow this gentleman and I had bypassed the barrier of familiar speech and shared culture and we were now communicating directly. Of course a cynical view might think he made the overture as an expedient gesture since he had no words to explain, but in his eyes I saw that extending his bowl was a genuine offer.
As the man held out his bowl once again, I glanced down at my pristine chopsticks that I had rested on the edge of a small white plate in anticipation of my order of fried dumplings. Instinctively I knew that to refuse would cause offense. But of course accepting the proffered dish was not exactly altruistic. I was also very interested in what it contained.
Nodding and smiling as I said thanks, I took the bowl and deftly lifted out of a few noodles with sauce, placing them on my plate. After thanking the man, I beckoned to the server who had been watching the exchange.
âWhat is this?â I asked again, for I had never seen noodles of this shape and consistency.
âThey are mung bean noodles with spicy sauce.â She replied.
Mung bean noodles? I had never heard of them before.
âDoes it contain any fish sauce?â I asked, since I have in recent years become allergic to fish â no more General Tsoâs jumbo shrimp for me.
After she assured me that they were fish free both Shya and I lifted a noodle with our chopsticks and tried a bite.
Mmmmm â cool, firm, with plenty of chilies for spice and tiny morsels of something like miso that added a burst of salt and savory at the same time.
We thanked the man once again and gave him space to enjoy his dinner. Shya and I were eventually served what we had ordered and we all ate our meals in a companionable way.
We have gone back to Ollieâs several times since then and my eyes always flick to the corner table recessed against the wall, but Iâve never seen him again. Both Shya and I have ordered mung bean noodles from timeâtoâtime and have introduced friends to the dish as well. Whether we order them or not, we now see them on the menu. Itâs funny how my eyes skip right over those menu items that I have not experienced. Itâs as if many choices donât exist simply because they are untried or new. I donât mind when I am out at a restaurant ordering things that are familiar, things I know I like. But there are a whole host of unknown tastes when Iâm willing to be open to something new. New things are also available when Iâm willing to put my kneeâjerk embarrassment or pride aside and accept a willing gift from a stranger. Iâm certain that fellow doesnât even recall our paths crossing but I do. And Iâm grateful for his kindness. Itâs hard to guess the difference a spontaneous moment of generosity can make. I personally find our chance meeting inspiring. Contained in it is a microcosm of the sweetness that humanity has to offer.
Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. (Link: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/tasteofexcellence/) Also get information about their five award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com. (Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0134TK10C)
November 23: Thanksgiving Every Day
Tune into Being Here as Ariel and Shya share the keys to cultivating a core attitude of gratitude.
Listen Live this Wednesday, November 23rd at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel
After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.
You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
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October 5: An Act of Kindness
True listening, without judgment for another, is one of the simplest and yet rarest gifts in life. Join Ariel and Shya Kane in Being Here and discover how to develop this valuable skill-set.
Listen Live this Wednesday, October 5th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel
After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here
Listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
– Podcasts app for iPhone
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Have you ever thought about the impact that a simple act of kindness can make, how being generous can ripple out in time and alter a personâs life forever? A young man and his buddy were incredibly kind to my wife Ariel and I and our lives have never been the same. In fact, his unhesitating willingness to be so unstinting with his knowledge, time and expertise became our springboard into the art of fly fishing and it has radically influenced our life paths.
Having grown up near the ocean in Far Rockaway, NY, I have always been drawn to fishing, but came to be a fly fisherman somewhat later in life. When I was about 50 years of age, a friend of mine mentioned in passing that I might really enjoy fly fishing and that I should look into it. Not long after, Ariel and I flew to Oregon to visit her family in her hometown of Gresham, a suburb of Portland. While there, Ariel and I borrowed her parentâs car and drove to a local sporting goods store, GI Joeâs. We walked in and saw an entire array of goods from balls and jerseys to hunting gear and guns, but right in the middle of the store there was a case that held fly fishing reels and a stand with fly rods, also. I immediately noticed that while there was at least some similarity to the spin fishing rods that I was familiar with, clearly they were different.
A young man stepped up behind the counter. He was medium tall, lean with thick dark hair, wearing a blue button down shirt and chinos. Although he was young, undoubtedly only a year or two out of high school, when he said, âCan I help you?â I thought it very likely that he could.
âWhatâs your name?â I asked.
âWell Gil, I am interested in fly fishing but really know nothing about it.â Looking at the rods, reels, lines and other gear displayed before me I said, âIf money wasnât an issue, what would you recommend I get to get started?â
âWhat do you want to fish for?â He asked.
âI donât know. What is there?â
âWell, there are trout and steelhead.â He replied.
âI guess trout then.â I said. âThat is what we have in upstate New York where I live.â
Gil was indeed extremely knowledgeable. He patiently explained some of the rudimentary differences between spin and fly fishing â such as when you use a spinning rod, the heft of the lure pulls the line out behind it. But with fly fishing, the fly, so called because they were originally constructed to imitate flying aquatic insects, has virtually no weight at all. The line itself, Gil explained, has the weight and by using the rod like a lever the weighted line draws the fly behind it.
I donât know what moved me to be so bold with this young stranger. Perhaps it was his innate kindness. Perhaps it was his experience that so outstripped mine. Perhaps it was his openness and patience. But whatever the inspiration, after I paid for and collected my exciting new purchase, I placed both hands on the edge of the counter and said, âWill you take me fishing?â
âYes!â Gil said. âIâd be happy to!â
I donât recall how we made all the detailed plans. I do know that Gil and his friend Rob were avid fly fisherman and that before I left that day I had Gilâs phone number and a promise for a trip to the Deschutes River in eastern Oregon.
The next day, Ariel and I flew back home to where we were living near Woodstock, New York overlooking the Ashokan reservoir. Inspired by my recent purchase, I drove to the nearest little fly fishing shop in Phoenicia. As I was standing there, looking over the confusing assortment flies one might need to fly fish in that area, a man hurried into the shop and said, âAm I too late to still take part in the fly casting class?â When the owner replied, âNo we havenât started yet.â I hastily said, âCan I come, too?â
On that day I cast a fly rod for the very first time. I then went down to the river and hooked and released my very first rainbow trout. But truth be told, that fish hooked me. Ariel soon took a class and also caught a little trout â although she and I still laugh that she caught her first fish behind her when her fly accidentally hit the water on a âbadâ cast and a fish grabbed it.
In a matter of a few short months Ariel and I flew back to Oregon for our trip with Gil and his buddy Rob. It turned out that Rob had won a Driftboat in a raffle and he and Gil were prepared to not only take us down the Deschutes River, but also to provide us with an overnight camping trip. Nervous but enthusiastic, with our brand new gear including waders, we were prepared to begin an adventure. We had no clue that it would be the beginning of a way of life that would eventually take us all over the world.
Perhaps Gil and Rob had excellent teachers themselves. But whatever the reason, they were extremely patient and kind with Ariel and me. Years later, I finally caught a 180 lb. blue marlin on a fly rod off the coast of Costa Rica and Ariel has caught multiple world records with the International Game Fish Association, including the largest pacific sailfish ever recorded caught by a woman. The things they taught us on that initial trip we had mastered. But we actually began to learn them and learn them correctly right from the beginning. For instance when a powerful fish grabs your fly, you canât immediately try to stop them as they race away or they will break off. It is true for trout and also true for a marlin or sailfish. If you want to hook a fish you canât have a lot of extra slack in your line or they will taste the fly and spit it out before you have a chance to draw the line tight. I actually remember Gil giving Ariel gentle instructions about this on that first trip.
âAriel, take a look at your flyline. If the fish were to hit now, would you be ready?â
She saw the big, wide and lazy S shapes of line scrolling out down the river and could see that she would have to take up the slack in order to be ready when the fish took the fly. Toward the end of the first day, not only did we catch trout, but when we got to our camping spot Gil and Rob encouraged us to keep fishing while they got out a tent and set it up for us, placing in sleeping bags they had brought for our use. Then they made us a meal over a campfire. At the end of the trip we were well satisfied, exhausted, and very grateful. Although we had paid for the food provisions, both Gil and Rob said that what they wanted in payment wasâ¦. absolutely nothing. At the end of our adventure, we asked once again to give the pair something but they said no, it wasnât legal. They werenât guides and said they couldnât accept payment for the trip â it had to be a trip between friends.
Over the last 20-some years Ariel and I have gone on to catch many fish both large and small. Weâve traveled from Alaska to the tip of South America, from a river in New Mexico to deep-sea fishing in Costa Rica, from the Seychelles off the coast of Africa to the fjords of Quebec. I lost touch with Gil for many years. I tried to track him down through his family but never managed to get in touch. I wanted him and Rob to know how grateful I was and still am for all they have given me. And I wanted them to know the difference they have made in my life. I was absolutely certain that they had no idea how their kindness would make an impact.
Recently I found Gil and Rob on Facebook. Rob now owns Water Time Outfitters and Gil works for him as a fishing guide. I must admit I was surprised when I saw a current picture of them to see them both as middle-age men with the families of their own. In my mindâs eye they are still barely out of school, wide eyed youths who had time, enthusiasm, and the willingness to so generously give us a gift. I am profoundly grateful for the kindness of two strangers.
Every week, Express Yourself!â¢ will bring you a stimulating program based on a chapter from our award winning book Be the Star You Are!Â® for Teens.
Kindness is a gentle powerful act. It is the quality of being pleasant, friendly, and concerned for others. Hosts Courtney Cheng and Zahra Hasanian read Cynthia Brianâs Gift of Kindness from the book, Be the Star You Are!Â® 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference. New reporter, Katie Choo joins the team with her segment, Aim to Shoot, focusing on college professors today. In Hope Heals, Zahra restores our trust and faith in humanity as she shares her experiences of kindness as courageous acts. Courtney brings us a recap of a best selling novel in her Book It segment revealing a character lacking kindness. Â We may not remember what people say to us in life. We will remember what they did to us and how they made us feel. Kindness is a virtue that manifests from our deepest being. It is who we are and what we become. Ask yourself what you can do to be kind today. Â Create peace on the planet through kindness and empathy. Do you dare to care?
âYou become kind by being kind. Kindness is a gift to yourself.â Cynthia Brian
BIO: Katie Choo is a sophomore at Amador Valley High School in Pleasanton, California. She has been doing competitive archery for the past four years, participating in national and international competitions. She is currently an active volunteer for Open Heart Kitchen and Science for Youth, and a volunteer in training for Stanford ValleyCare Hospital. Katie enjoys archery and working with kids, whether itâs for volunteering, coaching, or tutoring. Her segment is all about careers, called âAim To Shoot,â and she will be reporting for âCollege Professorsâ on todayâs show.
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4/29/15 – Kindness Begins With You
âKindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.â Mark Twain
Tune in and discover how being kind to yourself enables a life full of joy, ease and satisfaction for yourself and for those around you. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!
Listen Live this Wednesday, April 29th at 9am PT / 12pm ET on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.
After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives HERE.
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