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Does Improving Your Relationship Really Mean Changing Your Partner? By Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips

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Variety
Does Improving Your Relationship Really Mean Changing Your Partner? By Dr. Suzanne B. Phillips

When people want to improve their relationship, their first focus is often the changes their partner needs to make.  This blog explores the interesting ways partners see things differently.  Strategies are offered that invite ownership of the wish to change and ways in which changing self often impacts the partner and improves the relationship. Ownership of change can equate to improvement.

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Love, Money, Beets, Grains, & Birds By Cynthia Brian

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Empowerment
Love, Money, Beets, Grains, & Birds By Cynthia Brian

LIVE IN TEMPE-WTR - 15

If you are looking for upbeat, life-changing, and mind stretching information, you’ve come to the right place. Host Cynthia Brian takes you on a journey of exploration that will encourage, inspire, and motivate you to make positive changes that offer life enhancing results. It’s party time on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!®. And YOU are invited! Join us LIVE 4-5pm Pt on Wednesdays or tune in to the archives at your leisure. Come play in StarStyle Country.
CU-Rascal rooster in yard
Valentine’s is over but hopefully the love keeps on growing.  The single biggest lover’s spat concerns money.  The future of your relationship may depend on how you handle finances.  Love and money can be bedmates and you’ll get the strategies to help you navigate.
BEETS - 2
If you are buying foods with whole grain labels, you probably think you are a making the healthy choice. But think again. The term “whole grain” has become meaningless. Discover the fraudulent red flags and advertising tricks that could compromise your well-being.
red banty rooster & henscy-roostert.tiff
Cynthia Brian credits her childhood rooster, Chanticleer, for helping her be where she is today.  You’ll learn the back story of why she’s been known as “The Chicken Lady”, get tips for February gardening, and find out why, the beet goes on as a potential performance booster.
red beets
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The award winning positive talk radio program, StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® broadcasts on the Voice America Empowerment Channel LIVE every Wednesday from 4-5pm Pt/7-8pm ET.  .  Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany are the Mother/Daughter dynamic duo who have been co-hosting this program live weekly since 1998 bringing upbeat, life enhancing conversation to the world. With Cynthia’s expertise in interviewing the trailblazers, authors, and experts and Heather’s healthy living segments, these Goddess Gals are your personal growth coaches helping you to jumpstart your life while igniting your flame of greatness. Brought to the airwaves under the auspices of the literacy and positive media charity, Be the Star You Are!®, (http://www.BetheStarYouAre.org) each program will pump your energy to help you live, love, laugh, learn, and lead.
For photos, descriptions, links, archives, and more, visit http://www.StarStyleRadio.com.
Get inspired, motivated, and informed with StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
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Cynthia Brian talks about the empowering outreach programs offered by Be the Star You Are!® charity.  

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If you are a fan of the authors, experts, celebrities, and guests that appear regularly on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® radio, you can now be sure to never miss an episode. Embed this code into your WordPress site or any site and you’ll always have Cynthia Brian, Heather Brittany, and all of your favorite pioneers on the planet at your fingertips.  Upbeat, positive, life-changing talk radio broadcasting live each week since 1998. Lend us Your Ears. We are Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
 
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Anybody’s Dog By Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Anybody’s Dog By Ariel & Shya Kane

Anybody’s Dog – By Shya Kane
An excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage

As my wife Ariel and I boarded a small airplane in Ft. Lauderdale bound for Eleuthera in the Bahamas, I noticed the other passengers who would be flying with us. Some seemed to be Bahamians returning from shopping trips, while others were retirees. There was a family with two small children and I enjoyed watching their young boy animate his Spiderman action figure, jumping it from his sister’s shoulder, flying it from seat to seat. I also noticed a man in his mid–30s talking loudly to his wife. Dressed in casual attire, they were obviously going on vacation. Since there was only one seat on each side of the aisle, Ariel and I sat across from each other and this couple sat in front of us.

The plane prepared for take–off and I watched Ariel gaze out her window, fascinated by the view from her little portal into the world. As I turned to look out of my window, I saw that the man who had been so loud was now fidgeting in his seat while his wife did a crossword puzzle. As we sat on the tarmac before take–off, I heard him say, “Joan, this flight is going to be just like our honeymoon. Look at this plane—it’s so small.”

Immediately that got her attention. She anxiously said, “Do you really think so, Ted?”

“Oh yes, the ride will be exactly the same—just as rough, maybe even rougher.”

She put down her pencil and grabbed his hand. I could only imagine what the airplane ride was like after they got married but this one was actually smooth and calm all the way to the island. Later, as we waited to clear customs, we chatted with them and learned that they were Joan and Ted Johnson from Seattle and that they planned to scuba dive during their vacation. Diving, he said, was a passion of his but we got the impression that he was more comfortable with the sport than she was.

A few days later, we were sitting in a restaurant at twilight. As we were watching the sun slide into the Caribbean, the Johnsons came into the restaurant and they stopped by our table to chat. Ted regaled us with tales of swimming and coming across 6–foot–long barracudas (fish with notably large teeth) and how one of them “postured aggressively.” Expansively, he told us of the dangers and how he had threaded his way through the treacherous waters. It was very interesting to watch Joan in the background during his account. All the while she seemed to grow smaller and shrink into herself.

As they left our table, I suddenly remembered Laddy, a little black mutt I had when I was 14. When my neighbor, Willie White, gave me the dog, I immediately had fantasies that Laddy would be like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie, that he would be my faithful companion, following me, loving me—only me. The problem was that Laddy had an inquisitive nose, an adventurous spirit and he liked people, lots of people. Laddy wasn’t just my dog, he was anybody’s dog. He would happily lick anyone’s face, not only mine. This bothered me in my boyish insecurity until I discovered a trick: Close to home, my dog was secure in his environment and gregarious, but when I took him to new places where he felt less secure, he would stay close by my side and look to me for comfort. When Laddy was attentive only to me, I felt needed, important and loved. But when his attention wandered I felt deflated, smaller somehow.

It was clear to me that Ted undermined Joan’s sense of herself. He wanted all of her attention fixed on him and routinely played on her insecurities as a device to achieve this end.

That evening in the Bahamas, as the last red glow disappeared on the horizon, I looked at Ariel and felt happy to enjoy true love. Our relationship is not built on her loving me…only me. She loves and lives with a sense of wonder and expansiveness and I feel grateful that she chooses to share the adventure of her life with me.

Undermining her sense of well–being so that she “needs” me is a child’s game. Love is not something that is fostered by playing on your partner’s insecurities or pulling on him or her for attention. That type of “love” is about as real and mature as an adult playing with a Spiderman action figure and believing that it actually flies.

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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their five award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

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Valentine’s Day Celebration! By Cynthia Brian

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Valentine’s Day Celebration! By Cynthia Brian

 

Valentine's
Teens talk and the world listens every Tuesday NOON PT on the Voice America Kids Network. Produced by StarStyler® Productions, LLC and Cynthia Brian, these young adults know how to rock and express their unique views. Join the fun!
Asya Gonzalez, 2016JPGBrigitte Jiamaria wong-bTSAY
Cupid is aiming his arrow your way and our Express Yourself!¡ teens have super ideas on how you can spend a stupendous Valentine’s Day, with or without a significant other. Hosts Brigitte Jia and Asya Gonzalez along with Maria Wong offer fun and inexpensive tips to have a memorable day of love.  Open your heart to send a sweet thank you to our men and women in the armed forces. Or bring Valentine’s to shelters. Give the gift of books and homemade cookies, crafts, and caring other things. Tons of great creativity and love pour forth with this program along with links to websites to help you enjoy a special Valentine’s Day. Make a tax-deductible donation in the name of someone you love. Visit www.BetheStarYouAre.org. And don’t forget to love yourself first! “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde

Listen at Voice America Kids Network: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/97361/valentines-day

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Express Yourself! Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are! charity. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, visit http://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Dare to care!

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Thanks for supporting teens!

Make a donation today to Be the Star You Are!® charity
Cynthia Brian talks about the empowering outreach programs offered by Be the Star You Are!® charity.  

Embed StarStyle® Be the Star You Are!® Radio
If you are a fan of the authors, experts, celebrities, and guests that appear regularly on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® radio, you can now be sure to never miss an episode. Embed this code into your WordPress site or any site and you’ll always have Cynthia Brian, Heather Brittany, and all of your favorite pioneers on the planet at your fingertips.  Upbeat, positive, life-changing talk radio broadcasting live each week since 1998. Lend us Your Ears. We are Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
 
Be the Star You Are!® charity. Every Season is for Giving Make a donation today.

Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®
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When It is Dark, Turn to the Light By Marni

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Health & Wellness
When It is Dark, Turn to the Light By Marni

Some days it is harder for me to make the “turn” to the light than others.I get sucked in sometimes by the fear and what could happen down the road.If I allow it to grow, my fear becomes anxiety and rules my life affecting my relationships, my parenting, how I feel inside, my self-care and more. So I make a conscious effort to be aware of the dark side and even befriend it.  Weird, I know. Yet somehow when I befriend it using energy healing and meditation, the powerful combination buoys me to move forward.  NO it is not always comfortable.  Yes sometimes I cry (though I cry expressing many of my feelings).  Does it always get better? YES. If you want help, just ask.

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I struggle By Marni

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Health & Wellness
I struggle By Marni

What am I going to write about? The time I struggled and showed my ass by behaving like I’d lost my mind? There are moments I feel like I’m part of the circus or better yet starring in a sit-com.  My life is far from always being full of laughter though we laugh a lot in our family.
I get tired of taking everything so seriously.  So I put on a pair of “TV glasses” and see what each situation I’m worried about, frustrated with, pissed about, and enjoying would like through the camera of a sit-com.
I discovered this solution when Eli was an infant.  I was alone and changing his diaper.  He stuck one foot in poop, then another, then his hand.  Somehow it got on my hands too.  I was by myself at home.  And as a new mom, I began to panic.  How do I figure this out? How do I get my son and myself clean without getting poop everywhere.  Every idea I thought of resulted in me seeing my son ending up falling to the floor.  All the tools I needed were in other rooms,  The thought of carrying poop from room to room with a dog and three cats standing by to enter the fray filled me with more anxiety.   My body tensed and tightened.  And then Eli began to cry.  Big surprise, right?  And then as he wriggled in more poop, for a split second I imagined my reaction if I was watching this on TV.  What was the big deal? And I began to laugh.  And as I laughed and my body loosened, Eli calmed and smiled.  I have no idea how, but somehow I cleaned us both pretty quickly and easily.  And from then on, I pulled out my “TV Glasses” during life situations.  Any caregivers out there ever experience similar situations?
Which brings me to a few days ago when again I was struggling, frustrated and a little scared.  Instead of picturing the sitcom, I cried.  I disagreed with my producer for my upcoming radio show and participated in unnecessary arguing drama.  I was not fit for human consumption and I felt it in my body. I reflected on all my “life plates” I keep spinning, my to dos.  Are these life or death “plates”? Nope.  What will happen if I don’t get EVERYTHING done? Nothing.  What am I afraid of?
Truth? Falling on my face which is FAILING. Yet even as I say that most of me is not afraid.  I know in the deepest part of me, even if I fall on my face there is a reason.  I know the experience will provide me with an opportunity.  Now truth be told.  It isn’t comfortable to fail.  So I don’t know of anyone who runs out and says Yes, I’ll choose Failure.  What I know is if I don’t choose change,  which comes with risks, and pushing out of what is comfortable, I stay stuck.
Complacency becomes another word for stuck.  Don’t make waves. Status quo.   Don’t ask a tough question because of what might happen.  Did you know stuck means you don’t get to experience the fantabulous either?
Self-esteem plays a huge role in your willingness to embrace change.  Change can have ALOT of unknown and unfamiliar feelings and factors.  So of course complacency will feel better in some aspects because you know it.  And you know your outcomes even if they are painful.
So here I go taking another leap:  1) I premiered my radio show heard globally   2) I stopped part of my business marketing which I believed until recently was the largest draw for meeting new clients.   I do not know what I’m doing next to grow my community.   I trust it will be revealed soon (there was a bit of GULP the first time I said that)  3) I am continuing to lovingly detach as a parent (more on this in future articles). Providing my son opportunities to grow and fail (as safely as I can)  4) I am visibly emerging with  live videos on social media, radio, joint ventures with other healers 5) I am learning how to do my radio show from my computer and all the mechanics and marketing (there are at least 10 things here I don’t know)  6) I am allowing in my relationship with Marc instead of listening to the voice telling me to “drive the train”.  With more leaping each week and sometimes daily.
And while some days it feels harder and some days I fail.  I am still happy everyday.  And more and more consistently, I feel an ease and a joy.  I feel a freedom like I did as a kid riding my bike super fast with the wind blowing my hair kicking my feet out as I went down a huge hill and yelling WHEEEEEEE!!!
With Love and Gratitude,
Marni

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Relationships Made EASY! By Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Relationships Made EASY! By Ariel & Shya Kane

February 8: Relationships Made EASY! 
It only takes an instant to transform your ability to relate. In this episode of Being Here with award-winning relationship book authors, Ariel & Shya Kane, discover what is at the heart of experiencing magic in all of your relationships, especially the one with yourself.

Listen Live this Wednesday, February 8th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
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Keeping Love Alive through Alzheimer’s By Dr. Paula joyce

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7th Wave
Keeping Love Alive through Alzheimer’s By Dr. Paula joyce

Dr. Gary Chapman—author, speaker, pastor, and counselor—has a passion for people and for helping them build lasting relationships. He is an internationally recognized marriage counselor and the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, which has been translated into 50 languages and has sold more than 11 million copies worldwide. Now, Dr. Chapman has teamed up with health education specialist Deborah Barr, and physician and mental health counselor Edward Shaw, MD to write Keeping Love Alive as Memories Fade: The 5 Love Languages and the Alzheimer’s Journey. The book offers an innovative new application of the five love languages as tools that can help us sustain an emotional relationship with a parent or partner with Alzheimer’s. Please visit Dr. Gary Chapman online at www.5LoveLanguages.com.
There’s a touching scene between a son and his aging mother in the new movie, Collateral Beauty. She starts a conversation that lacks a basis in current reality. Her son does something I’ve never seen before. Instead of trying to bring her back to his reality, he joins her fantasy world and keeps their connection alive with his open loving heart. He took what could have been a frustrating and potentially anger-filled interaction and made it into a joyful one. Alzheimer’s is a growing problem. Forty-seven million people worldwide are afflicted with the disease. It takes an enormous toll on the care-givers, who are usually the spouses or children. Most cannot afford private care and do not have access to paid social services. The result is that 40% of care-givers fall into a clinical depression. The positive feelings from a loving act reduce the patient’s agitation, which lightens the caregiver’s burden. Please join us Thursday to learn how to share love in a way that benefits everyone.

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Heart Chakra By Lauren Dillon-Merril

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7th Wave
Heart Chakra By Lauren Dillon-Merril

This week, Lauren will be sharing self-care and maintenance of the Heart Chakra, or the 4th Chakra. It exists in the center of your chest. It is the central place that Love flows through. It is all that is Love and compassion, connection, and integration. The Heart Chakra resonates with a beautiful, bright emerald green. Balancing this chakra will help you find more joy and inspiration with interactions in daily life than you have been able to before.

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Is It Too Good To Be True? By Marni

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Health & Wellness
Is It Too Good To Be True? By Marni

I’ve been having conversations recently with a friend.  He truly wants to find and enjoy a long term committed relationship.  His relationship experience is dotted with disappointment and hurt.  He recently met someone new and they clicked.
In one breath, he tells me about their amazing connection.  They enjoy spending time together, talking, intimacy, just hanging out.  They’re very attracted to each other, yet it’s much more than physical.  He spends a lot of time telling me about their connection in some detail.  They have similar values, think similarly, yet they also have some differences.
Then he says “she is a unicorn”.  By definition a unicorn is a fantasy, “a mythical animal typically represented as a horse with a single straight horn projecting from its forehead.”  He follows this up saying “she seems perfect for me.  There must be something I’m not seeing.  I keep looking for what’s wrong with her.  She is too good to be true.” 
Have you ever met someone amazing and thought that very same thing? “Too Good to Be True?”  It could be with a relationship, a friendship, a job, the way your life is flowing.  Anything.
I had a time when I felt this way too.  It wasn’t when I met and dated my husband.  It was later AFTER we married.  Weird, I know.
When you say “it’s too good to be true,” You’re questioning what is coming into your life because of your own lack of or limited belief in self-love, self-worth. You feel self-doubt which causes you to resist change, looking for “the other shoe to drop” effect, instead of embracing change.
Your limiting belief is two-fold (or more):
1)   You’re missing some of the enjoyment of your relationship by focusing on some unforeseen problem (fear, anxiety) that may not ever happen.  That is creating fear in you and causes you to “ping pong”.  Yes, I am in.  No, I am afraid.  Yes, I am in.  No, I am afraid. The ping ponging changes the magnetic energy around you as well as your behavior and it can feel confusing to someone else without them understanding why.
For my friend, it comes out in his relationship when they discuss their relationship histories.  He wants to know, he doesn’t want to know.  Then he hears something that concerns him and thinks he may have found “the other shoe”, but he doesn’t really want to find the other shoe.   And then these feelings drape themselves over his girlfriend and she becomes sensitive and upset.  Meanwhile he doesn’t understand why she is upset. This can lead to drama, unnecessary drama, instead of enjoying each moment and the now.
2)   What are you truly afraid of? Why do you feel you do not deserve this happiness and love? He has been hurt in the past.  Does that sound familiar? He says maybe he isn’t meant to be with someone. Which is as close to saying “maybe I don’t deserve to be with someone”, “maybe I’m not loveable”.  My friend has a harder time going to this place.  That is so common.  Who wants to sit in feelings of “I’m not worthy” and “I’m not loveable”.  And yet, even not addressing them, they take hold in your life.  And they can decimate your relationships if you engage or speak from lack.
When you have full love and belief in yourself, you stop resisting, surrender and embrace change.  Then you move past the “is this really happening?; Is this real?; Is this something I deserve? And you just say…YES.
If you feel “it is too good to be true?” or you wait for the “other shoe to drop”? What do you do about it? Do you do anything about it or silently suffer?
You can put an end to these silent and shared conversations.  You can quiet your fear.  It is so possible.  I didn’t always believe it.  Through my own healing and the support and guidance I share with and teach to my clients, I’ve seen and experienced it.
And if you are ready to look at your life from a possibility of: anything is possible and life has many possibilities. I invite you to a complimentary call with me Touching Your Inner Guidance.  Just click the link below and we’ll talk about what you are done with and ready to leave behind; what you want for yourself and can so have; and how what I do can support and guide you to those extraordinary possibilities.  

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