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Starting Over: Getting Past the Argument by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave

4/20/16 – Starting Over: Getting Past the Argument

Have you ever found yourself in one of those moods where no matter what someone says or does, it is all fodder for a fight? Join Ariel and Shya in Being Here and discover how to let go and start over.

Listen Live this Wednesday, April 20th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating by Ariel & Shya Kane

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Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating
An excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage
by Ariel & Shya Kane

I started picking berries for money at the age of 6. My aunt Joyce took me with her to the berry fields to “help out” at her summer job and after a full day of picking strawberries, (many of which made their way into my mouth) I was proud to bring home three shiny dimes for my labors. My mother put them in a place of honor before dinner and I went to bed that night dreaming of all the penny candy I could buy at the little store in town.

All of the local kids I knew picked berries during the summer to make spending money and some to pay for school clothes and supplies in the year ahead. There were many growers around and so we worked the season: First strawberries, then raspberries, a short crop of boysenberries (by far the easiest), marionberries or blackcaps, then blackberries. In fact, picking berries was so common where I grew up that it never occurred to me until after I moved to New York at age 19 that not everyone spent summers in the berry fields.

Each summer, my mom would also make us wonderful deserts featuring local fruit and at the end of the season, one of my favorites was blackberry cobbler. My sisters and I would take large metal bowls and fill them with the wild berries that grew by the roadside or down at the edge of the field on our property and Mom would turn them into something delightful.

Shya and I went to visit my parents for their 60th wedding anniversary this past August, (Congrats to Mom and Dad!) and so we were there during the height of the blackberry season. In order to keep fit, given all of my mother’s excellent meals, Shya and I decided to take a walk on the Springwater Corridor, a 40 mile loop that was created for walking or bike riding following an old trolley right-of-way. This paved walking trail has large cane blackberry bushes that grow in abundance on either side. During our walk I picked a few for Shya and myself and they tasted heavenly. I actually went to bed that night dreaming of taking a large metal bowl and filling it once again for my mom.

A couple days later we again went for a walk and now after additional time in the sun, there were even more of these ripened dark beauties hanging in clusters both high and low. My Aunt Larrita had just brought my folks a whole crate of them so I was relieved of the desire to do any serious picking and could simply focus on finding the ripest, juiciest, yummiest ones to savor – staining our tongues a dark purple.

As I was picking with Shya I realized that his lack of experience had him reaching for those berries that I would never pick. He automatically was drawn to the bright and shiny berries glowing in the sun. They looked perfect. They looked just like the ones you would find in the store: tasty but tart…usually very tart. And so I began to teach him from an old country girl perspective how to spot and pick “black gold.”

First you have to search for those that appear somewhat dull – they were easy to overlook when you had those that were bright and shiny hanging nearby. Then you need to put your thumb and index finger around the one that caught your eye and test for two things: If it was still really firm it wasn’t ripe enough. If the berry resists when you pull, it isn’t ripe enough, either. If you want a berry that will melt in your mouth, tasting of long summer days, warm from the sun, find one that has lost its sheen; a berry that looks almost dusty and lackluster, one that practically falls apart in your hand. And don’t forget to include those tucked away, or hanging down low where people forget to look. They were everywhere. All you needed was to have the eyes to see.

On our last walk, we ate our way down the corridor and fully sated, strolled hand-in-hand as we headed back to the car. It was there, on that sun-kissed stretch that I realized that picking berries is a lot like dating. Often people forget that the commercialized image of the perfect pick has influenced what they are looking for and blinds them to seeing what is really and truly sweet “fruit.” In the magazines, on book covers and in advertisements, the person of your dreams never has a receding hairline or an ounce of extra fat. The picture perfect datable person has perfect teeth, never has bad breath and is a runway model or someone famous. They never get the flu or have challenges at work. They don’t fart and never have salad stuck in their teeth. He or she is never older or younger, of a different ethnic group or religion and they certainly aren’t divorced with kids.

Folks are mesmerized by the bright and shiny people and they miss those around them that are sweeter, fully ripened and ready for picking. They look only at eye level in the picked over branches and time and again those in the dating game reach for only for the sour fruit – for those that are resistant to their advances. But if you look, there are people ripe and ready. They are everywhere. All you need is to have the eyes to see.

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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Don’t Lose that Lovin’ Feeling by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave

2/10/16 – Don’t Lose that Lovin’ Feeling

Researchers have concluded that passionate, romantic love that starts as a roaring fire has an average life of about 12 to 18 months before it dies out. In this romantic episode of Being Here, join Ariel & Shya Kane as they discuss how to keep that Lovin’ Feeling. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!

Listen Live this Wednesday, February 10th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

Family Mediation Group led by VoiceAmerica show host Virginia Colin wins legal services award

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Variety
Family Mediation Group led by VoiceAmerica show host Virginia Colin wins legal services award

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What does Dr. Virginia Colin, host of “Family Matters” on VoiceAmerica’s Variety channel, do when not on air? As Director of Colin Family Mediation Group LLC (CFMG), she provides family mediation services to families in Burke and other parts of northern Virginia. For 2015, the Best in Burke Award for providing legal services went to Colin Family Mediation Group. The Group is, naturally, proud, and also very happy to be able to provide valuable, low-cost assistance to families making decisions about marriage, separation, divorce, reconciliation, or other family matters. Best of Burke 2015 CFMG award v2

Are You Contemplating Divorce?

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Empowerment
Are You Contemplating Divorce?

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Hi there,

If you are reading this letter, most likely you are contemplating a divorce. I can understand how scary this feels and have been in your shoes. My life was forever changed in September 2008. At the time, I was married with 2 beautiful daughters and preparing for my youngest daughter’s Christening when my mom told me she was feeling very sick and a recent ultrasound confirmed she had a large mass in her abdomen. As I looked at her, I could see the fear welling up in her eyes. It was at that moment I knew what she was thinking and I was thinking it too. A few weeks later, that fear was confirmed with her ovarian cancer diagnosis at age 58.

My mom fought cancer courageously with such grace and dignity for 5 years. In May of 2013, I held her hand as she left this world and all the pain and suffering cancer had evoked. I’ll always remember the peaceful veil that warmed her face in that moment she passed away. This image will forever comfort me and for that I am so appreciative.

The grief I felt that day was so intense. I remember thinking it would be with me forever. At the time of my mom’s passing, I had 3 young girls to take care of and I could not let this huge loss be my breaking point. My girls needed me. I had to be brave. I had to be courageous despite feeling like I was crumbling into a pile of sand. The journey was rocky but moment by moment life went on.

For years, my marriage had been contentious. In January 2014 and after 10 years being married, I realized that all that we invested was no longer enough. Our paths were no longer intertwined; our lives were not supporting the authentic people we were destined to become. This moment in time was extremely scary. I adored my children, and could not fathom spending any time apart from them as I knew a divorce would inevitably create. I had to make a decision. Do I stay to keep the family intact or do I leave, allowing myself to experience vulnerabilities far greater than I dreamed possible? I had to muster courage in the face of fear and reach deep inside my core in search of the answer. I had to stand tall when I felt knocked over and do what I felt was best for our family. It was then that I thought of my mom. You see, she had no choice. Her time was up. Her life story was not one she had the ability to change in the end. Mine was different though. I still had a lifetime ahead of me and I wanted to live it to the fullest. A new chapter of my life was on the horizon and although I knew the road ahead was not an easy one for me, I was thankful I had a road to travel.

Little did I know that these 2 events were life-defining moments. They opened a door that let in some light to reveal who I was. At 40, I thought I knew that answer but in fact I was just learning who I truly was deep down inside. I know now that sometimes it is the worst, most challenging, and often most hurtful experiences of our lives that are the ones that give the most shape and definition to who we become.

That was certainly the case for me. Part of the self-discovery process of my divorce involved me asking some tough questions such as, “Who have I been? What I have I contributed to this because of my own limitations and vulnerabilities? In what ways have I settled to live a life that is less than true and whole?

This soul searching was an opportunity for me to become a better, stronger, more aware and authentic version of myself. It was a choice and a door to a brighter future. It was a door I wanted to open. This took a strong faith and belief in myself. Thankfully I sought out a divorce coach to help me navigate the emotional ups and downs and keep me rational as I was confronted with difficult, life-altering decisions that impacted my children and my future. She was the person who was willing to hold the torch and lead me down this thorny path and inspire me to keep going despite any obstacles in my way. She was my companion willing to guide me through it all. She helped me move ahead with a sense of purpose and a clear vision. I was able to streamline my divorce process and make decisions with a rational mindset that lead to a beautiful new life post-divorce. Today I have a new perspective on life and what I learned was that life is too short to remain stuck. Life is experiential and full of difficult decisions. Every day holds new opportunities to learn and grow. By taking life in your own hands and trusting all you’ve learned and your inner wisdom, you are empowered to make daily choices that can lead to a brighter future.

Today I am so grateful to now be that guiding light for others as they navigate the bumpy roads that transitions can evoke. I offer free consults and can be reached at the contact info below with any questions.

Kristin Swarcheck, M.Ed., CPC

Email: Kristin@kristinswarcheck.com

Phone: 610-425-2440

www.kristinswarcheck.com

Stuck in a Relationship Rut?

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7th Wave
Stuck in a Relationship Rut?

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For some folks dating feels like a rut. For many relationships, first comes love, then comes marriage (or moving in together), then comes “Oh, it’s you again?” Join Ariel and Shya Kane on this refreshing episode of Being Here and reignite the passion as you discover your ability to relate anew.

Listen Live this Wednesday, June 10th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives HERE.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

This Week on BEING HERE: That Small Still Voice

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7th Wave
This Week on BEING HERE: That Small Still Voice

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On this episode of Being Here discover how to recognize that small still voice: the one that normally doesn’t insist that you listen to it – rather it comes with valuable information that you often realize was important in retrospect. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!

Listen Live this Wednesday, January 7th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Network.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and nearly 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes! 

The Gritty Side of Marriage From an Experienced Private Detective

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7th Wave
The Gritty Side of Marriage From an Experienced Private Detective

Article

There are TV Private Investigators and then there is The Real Thing. Today we have the Real Thing! George Eleftheriou will be here to tell us about many of his investigations along with many provocative situations. George has been in places that we can only imagine such as working as a Criminal Investigator out of the Bronx Supreme Court including three years undercover in the roughest neighborhoods of New York City. He then moved to the dangerous Art Deco streets of South Florida and all of this after serving in the Marine Corps. George is going to share with us, although he himself is married, why he agrees with many concepts within the book, “Don’t Get Married, Get a Five Year Contract.” You do not want to miss the extreme honest dialogue that takes place as George paints the picture of why most people should not be married. And this includes people from all walks of life. George will bring to us the very gritty side of marriage gone wrong and this show is for Mature Audiences.

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