Ruminations Post Episode of Inside the Chyrsalis of #MeToo
I’ve been ruminating too much about my recent episode on The Womb Happy Hour (https://www.voiceamerica.com/show/2634/the-womb-happy-hour) about the #MeToo movement.
What’s funny is that during the show, I talked about how women tend to over think things and it prevents them from acting – making decisive decisions and making forward movement. Over-thinking doesn’t optimally serve women.
So I’ve been marinating for too long on – what I wanted to say on the show but didn’t say, certain words that came out of my mouth incorrectly. Not being clear enough on some thoughts. It’s been bugging me. For example, I said the solar eclipse happened in September. Wrong. It happened in August.
(My theory on some of hidden information coming to light is because of the reset we went through with that powerful eclipse.)
Trivial ruminations? Maybe. But when you’re in the spin of over-thinking, it’s easy to get caught up in the loop.
There’s this other voice in my head that says, “Lorraine you got your period two days after the show and you had an intense session right before the show. You didn’t ground yourself enough pre-show.” At certain points during the show I thought of my sister telling my niece when she was younger “use your words sweetie.”
As an important side note, if you ever feel like it’s hard to use your words before you’re about to get your monthly flow, it’s quite normal due to the shifts between estrogen and progesterone during PMS and menstruation. If you’d like to check out an interesting research report on how menstruation affects communication, read here.
Back to my brooding thoughts.
Taking pen to paper helps me sort out and soften my spin.
Calms those voices in my head that put me in a head lock that I’m supposed to be perfect. Even though intellectually I know I’m not anywhere near perfect, it’s like some wired program that gets turned on and I say to myself – here we go again.
Thank goodness, writing it out does help. Hoping some of these suggestions assist soothing your spin.
Usually I have someone help edit my blogs before I put them out there. For this post – I’m just putting it out there without the cleanup.
Life is messy, our flow gets messy. It’s really easy to be like —whoa —I’m not going near that dark uncomfortable stuff. It’s scary. Digging in the dirt or the muck of stuff that happens to us helps us to ground our energy in a deeper way. Collectively, I don’t think we’re grounding each other these days enough.
Here are some ideas I’d like to reiterate from the show if you’re looking for support:
“We can’t solve problems using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” ~ Albert Einstein
Healing opportunities are not talked about enough.
The #MeToo movement is powerful, courageous and critically important. Women are using their voice to say “no more.” There is strength in numbers and it’s great to see women speaking their truth to create significant change regarding sexual harassment, assault and rape.
Where are the conversations or stories about healing? There’s not enough sharing about how someone healed their trauma.
To sit in the muck of pain, anger, violation, shame and feeling like you don’t have a choice and your power is diminished is self-defeating and keeps you at victim rather than in your personal power.
Feels like a lot of conversation regarding #MeToo involves fighting. I’m not a huge fan of fighting. I fought for too long and it’s just exhausting and zapped my creative energy. Fighting creates friction – I’m right you’re wrong; my opinion is good – yours is bad.
Rather than judge or sit in the harsh feelings of fight or flight – let’s Tend and Befriend
Not familiar with tend and befriend?
I’m a believer in directing energy rather than fighting. It’s possible to forcefully direct your energy without negatively crashing into the walls of your point of conflict or getting stuck in your own personal chrysalis of #metoo – or any other intense transition.
You’ve probably heard about the stress response – fight or flight. Women also handle threats by the tend and befriend stress response that relates to women’s ability to care for others and create strong social connections. The American Psychological Association suggests that tend and befriend counteracts the negative impact of stress – increased cortisol levels, heart rate, blood pressure and feelings of isolation and overwhelm.
The more women tend & befriend, I think it opens a wider door or gateway to seeing there is an empowered choice available.
The more we choose to collaborate and share our stories with each other and support one another rather in our healing process rather than blame or judge, then the stronger possibility and ability to transcend and transform from abuse and silence.
You don’t have to do it alone.
Now here’s a contradiction of sorts. You don’t have to do it alone but your healing process is unique to you. The details of your story and circumstance matter … because it’s your life and you’re the one feeling what you’re feeling.
Knowing that there’s a door – that the caterpillar digests itself to transform into a butterfly next to others going thru a similar process – allows for confidence; a sense of hope that it is possible to get to the other side. You’re not alone.
For many experiencing trauma, it’s easy to try to think your way out of it, and/or disconnect from your body and feelings. By swallowing pain and shame, the weight of that energy sometimes ends up “down there.” What’s great about now is that women are reclaiming and remembering ancient wisdom about healing their womb and root energy centers.
Are some of these healing methods different than talking to a psychotherapist? Yes. Does therapy help a lot of women. Yes! It’s helped me.
But let’s not limit ourselves to approaching healing from a one option choice or needing to check one box off.
It’s important for women to learn/remember how to tap into their healing power and ability to create their dreams from varied possibilities.
I quickly mentioned a few names on the show. Here’s some more context or information about these healing opportunities.
If you’re thinking – Lorraine – this stuff is out there or too woo hoo. My response would be if you haven’t tried it, how do you know it’s not for you? Also and not necessarily related to sexual trauma but who knows – 25% of American women in their 40’s and 50’s are on anti-depressants! That’s a staggering number of ladies not feeling good in their skin.
Even if you haven’t experienced sexual trauma but you’re having painful periods or some imbalance going on down there….
Please check out these lovely healers who are doing amazing balancing masculine and feminine energy and empowering work.
Deep and intimate self – care: Use Your Senses to Heal
(*) Womb Awakening: Initiatory Wisdom from the Creatrix of All Life by Azra Bertrand M.D & Seren Betrand
One of the most important books of 2017 and a must read for healing yourself and the planet! This is a mind-heart-womb opening experience.
(*) Susan Gala – Feminine Fitness from Within
Listen to Susan share her healing journey and the importance of pelvic health and how it’s connected to your mind and all over. Tune into Susan here.
(*) Jacqueline Rollandelli – The Mystic Feminine
Learn more about Jacquline’s medicine and discover how the Rites of Passage can assist in your healing journey on 11/15 at 6 PM EST. Turn on to hear Jacqueline on The Womb Happy Hour.
(*) Nicole Katzender – Womb Bliss
Don’t you deserve to feel bliss? Learn how Nicole helps women to connect to not only their womb power but their bliss! Listen here.
Awakening the Creative Power of the Womb Workshop – November 18 – 19th
(*) CarolMarie Fiorito – Womb Awakening NYC
CarolMarie’s beautiful energy understands the importance of descending into our bodies to heal and connect to our power. Hear CarolMarie’s insights here.
(*) Another book suggestion, less womb focused – The Confidence Code by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman. Here’s a blog with my thoughts on the book and why the sacral chakra (one of the down there chakras) is important to confidence.
(*) I’m also available for healing sessions!
None of these ideas resonating with you? No problem. Your call to action is to tap into your curiosity to what would help you to heal and speak your truth. You owe it to yourself to give yourself that gift.
Here’s to healing and better days within you and ahead of you!