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The Better Human Experience PART 2 SLEEP

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Health & Wellness

Sleep and rest, something we all know so much about, right?

Welcome to PART 2 of “The better Human Experience”. Or as we like to call it, things we should have learned in school.

I have done countless hours of research on both sleep and rest. If I’m honest I started doing the research so I could have something to support my not wanting to do either of these things. For many years I saw sleep as something that got in the way of my productivity, rest was just something I laughed at.
I’m sure there are many of you out there nodding your heads right now. Don’t get too excited. What I found through my many years of research and my own physical, mental, emotional trials and tribulations.

Sleep is essential to Leading a healthy life. Rest at appropriate times is the best way to set yourself up to sleep better!
As a matter of fact, these two things may be the most important things you can do for yourself. In a world that is still largely about being reactive instead of proactive, we are still having to find these things out for ourselves. Research shows that one of the worst segments in North America for lack of sleep is the medical field itself!( conventional that is) p.s. sleeping pills do not count. They give you the illusion that you are sleeping well, they cannot give you the proper sleep cycles that your body so desperately needs.

Imagine my frustration when I could no longer argue the benefits of my destructive lifestyle.
On today’s so we are talking to Dr. Nicholas Jensen, naturopath doctor out of Vancouver British Columbia Canada.
Please listen in and get some tips on how to take care of yourself.

For those of you that have a hard time falling asleep or staying asleep once you are there.
If you are worried about your memory.
Believe you never dream.
Feel like you could fall back asleep a few hours after you have just woken up?
Want to talk about your teenagers sleeping habits?…
Please contact us at know BS talk.
Sleep hygiene is a specialty for some obvious and some not so obvious reasons.

Many years later I am very protective of my sleep and the side benefits have been shocking to say the least. Issues I suffered from that I thought were just genetic or something I was just going to have to live with.
Please don’t let something as simple (yet difficult) as lack of sleep get in your way.
We are here to support you or find someone that can.

The Better Human Experience PART 1

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Health & Wellness

The Better Human Experience part one of the series. We are excited, and grateful, to have our special guest Wendi Michelle join us for some down to earth advice on nutrition.As well as a chance to really get to know her.

Wendi is a published author and has advised and served as a founding member to health centers across the U.S.. She has developed food products, supplements and the most diverse holistic health programs and coaching platforms for Executives, Athletes and Children.

This show is for those of you who have ever struggled with weight, whether putting it on or taking it off, as well as the confusion over the cornucopia of available diet options in this day and age. Spoiler Alert – often NO diet is one of the BEST diets.
This is also an area of expertise for me (Julie Turner). I LOVE to take things back to basics! Nutrition should not be that difficult.

Through many years of working with clients to improve their health something interesting emerged around nutrition. I noticed a very common theme. It seemed to me that their connection with food was emotional, very seldom was it about the proper nutrition for their body.
The better Human Experience series is all about what we believe to be “things we should have learned in school.”
The topic of nutrition will have to be split into many shows I’m sure as it is a big one!

One thing I would love to shed some light on Right Here and Now is that our minds should not control our nutrition. At least not in a reactive manner we need to be proactive and having a proper knowledge base in this area will be amazing!

Often throughout my course,I speak of being smarter than our mind. Left to its own devices it can be a little bit of an imp. Our mind will look for familiarity and past situations where we felt comfort. What does that look like when it comes to eating?

Picture this…
You’ve had a rough day at work/School. You get home and for some reason you are craving chocolate chip cookies. Do you think your body actually needs chocolate chip cookies? Let me answer for you…no!
The chocolate chip cookie craving comes from a memory. You don’t actually connect with the memory necessarily, but your subconscious mind does. It remembers a Time when a loved one, maybe grandma or Mom, made you chocolate chip cookies and listened to your stories and smiled and you simply felt good. So when you crave feeling that good Comfort feeling, our minds tell us it’s time for those cookies.
Of course our bodies will crave certain things that we get from certain foods. There can be a little bit of that but make no mistake if you have a hard time saying no to certain foods. It might be time to look at the emotional needs that you are silencing with this Behavior.
If you have any questions, concerns or cries of outrage around this or any other topics we discuss. Tune in and then reach out after the show!

Be Awesome, be you!
Julie Turner

Contact Julie For more info www.julieturner.ca

LOVE LIGHT GUEST TESTIMONIAL

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Empowerment
LOVE LIGHT GUEST TESTIMONIAL

                                                                              LOVE LIGHT GUEST TESTIMONIAL

                                                                                                    Milly Diericx

                                                                                     “Raising Consciousness to the Vibration of Love”

                                                                                                                           May 22, 2020

 

“Jean Farish  is a loving soul that helped me stay on track and made my interview a relaxed and enjoyable experience.  Her skill at interviewing reflects her inner harmony and her desire to be of service to her audience. VoiceAmerica was professional, thoughtful and kept me informed of everything I needed to know before, during and even after the interview took place.  An overall beautiful experience.  I hope my intervention was worthy of your professionalism and attention to detail.  Thank you Jean!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

Inner Peace is Unstoppable

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Empowerment
Inner Peace is Unstoppable

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In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, my guest, Corinne Zupko, and I discuss practical ways to eliminate anxiety. In this blog, follow Marian Stephens’ progress as she shares how she is using the information in the episode to change her life. All my previous blogs are on my website, paulajoyce.com – be sure to check them out.

Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

We are taught from a young age to suppress negative emotions such as sadness, anger, worry, fear, and other painful feelings. While it is momentarily more comfortable to avoid painful feelings rather than experiencing them, it can lead to chronic anxiety and depression.

My Tip for this week from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment, is: allow yourself to feel. Robert Frost said: “The only way around it, is through it.” When faced with emotional pain, allow yourself to feel the pain. Then let it go. Crying releases stress hormones from your body. This makes room for the joy. If you have difficulty feeling your emotions, rent a sad movie to help you connect to your feelings. We spend far too much time avoiding our feelings, which only strengthens them and forces them underground. We believe they’re gone, but they’re just changing form. Pain must be acknowledged and if we don’t do it when it’s a thought or an emotion, it will become a pain in our body or a disease that doesn’t allow us to ignore it. As children we may have been told not to be a cry baby or it doesn’t really hurt, or boys don’t cry. As adults, however, we have choices and we can choose a healthier path of feeling and letting go. Some believe that all you need to do is laugh and the difficult feelings will vanish. Yes, laughter is one important tool, but we need all the tools in our tool box and feeling our sadness, anger, frustration, etc. and crying are also important tools for leading an emotionally, mentally and physically healthy life. Free floating anxiety is usually all those feelings that got stuffed down because it wasn’t safe to feel them. And what is depression if not depressing, in other words pressing down, our feelings and thoughts that may not be acceptable to those who we want to value and love us. We may not have many choices as children, but as adults, we can choose to be around people who love us for who we truly are and not for who they want us to be. Pay attention to who supports the real you, who makes you feel good and who is trying to twist you into something or someone you are not. You can choose to allow those people to stay in your life or you can choose new options.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Teaching children to recognize and manage anxiety from a young age is key to helping them become self-confident, self-sufficient, and self-reliant adults.

My silver lining story this week is about a client whose parents didn’t help him learn autonomy. When my client, Scott, came in this week, he was so filled with anxiety that he had skipped work. Fortunately, he understood that this was a good sign because something was coming to the surface that was ready to be felt and released. As we talked and worked with my Ultimate Creative Problem Solving Process, it became clear that some hidden fears were ready to be addressed. Scott had been home schooled and raised to be dependent upon his parents. He was not given the life skills, self-confidence and belief that he could have a successful career, marriage and life outside of his parents’ home. In fact, one of his adult siblings is still living at home. A few months into having his own apartment, living close to his girlfriend and earning a good income at his childhood dream job, the anxiety became intolerable. The fears and self-doubt were taking over and Scott froze. What if his parents were right, and he couldn’t make it on his own? This wasn’t a game or an experiment any more. This was real life with groceries to buy, laundry to do, an apartment to clean, the need to pay his own way and somehow be there for his girlfriend and himself. There was no one else to do it for him and no good parental role models showing him how to do it. Sure, he could do it for a few months, but what about a lifetime? His drawings showed that he wondered if he was going to soar like a rocket or self-destruct like a missile. We reviewed who he is today and how much he has accomplished in the short time we’ve been working together. We began to list his growth. We agreed that everything he has done so far proves that he is succeeding even though he was groomed for failure. Before he left, he said: “I know what’s next. I’m going to soar like a rocket.” And I, too, am confident he will continue to do so because he already is doing it. I suggested that he use this mantra when fears or anxiety surface, and I offer it to you as well: “peace in my mind, peace in my body, peace in my spirit, peace in my soul.”

Marian Stephens’ Story

In this episode on healing the mind and the body, reconciling some of the painful emotions I am holding onto has been in the forefront of my mind. My oldest son has special needs and parenting him has been a difficult journey. I feel a sense of loss – loss of a carefree experience with him as a young child, loss of having a close and easy relationship with him, loss of normalcy, and loss of celebrating the traditional achievements of him reaching adulthood. The pain has added up over many years, so it is taking time to sort through it. There are so many positive emotions I have about my relationship with him and the way I’ve raised him, but they do not negate the painful ones. We are beginning an intensive therapeutic program designed to help him reach stability and independence, and the first session was tremendously difficult. This week the upset of this appointment combined with a disappointing neurologist appointment, failed spring break plans, and not adequately taking care of my responsibilities culminated in a panic attack. I have not experienced an intense panic attack like this in a few years. Today’s show on healing anxiety could not have come at a better time.

Dr. Paula asks listeners how they are going to move from anxiety to love. Corinne Zupko’s advice is straight forward: to use your anxiety to wake up your “inner therapist”, find a willingness to view your anxiety differently, hand over your anxiety to your inner therapist, trust and be open to the idea that the answer has been given or will be as you are ready to receive it. I am beginning to be in touch with my limitless higher self, or inner therapist, so I want to try to hand over my painful, anxious feelings about parenting. Sometimes I cling to the harder memories of raising my son because they are part of my identity, a badge of honor I wear for the triumph of surviving the process. After the show, I realized this is my ego getting in the way of my growth and healing. I was completely wiped out after my panic attack, and I do not wish to feel that way again. This motivates me to just let it go. I am going to read From Anxiety to Love and begin meditating this week. I want to choose to tap into the source of infinite love we have access to and focus on that, not anxiety and worry.

Part of being able to tap into the source of infinite love (God) is to be on a spiritual path. I’m not on a traditional spiritual path, or even a prescribed path, and I sometimes let the lack of a name for what I’m doing get in the way of growth. It is enough to just be on a path to healing, and the rest will fall into place.

Dr. Paula’s Response

Marian, what you wrote here shows huge growth and is a triumph over adversity. I marvel at your ability and willingness to use the material in each episode to look inward, tell yourself the truth and implement changes to grow, heal and improve your health, well-being and life. Congratulations on using your panic attack to begin implementing ways to move from anxiety to love.

Here is another powerful spiritual technique. For optimum benefit, use it every morning upon waking and every night before going to sleep. It will help you release past negative emotions, avoid holding on to negativity as it occurs throughout the day, and help you heal, balance and stabilize your emotions. You can even do it with your son. Just say out loud or in a whisper:

“I ask the Universal Pink Heart of Love to surround me, the Universal Turquoise Heart of Love to surround the Pink Heart of Love and the Universal White Heart of Love to surround both hearts and that a gold cord go from the bottom of my heart chakra into the center of the earth.” As you say the words, visualize the hearts going around you and the gold cord going from the bottom of your heart chakra into the center of the earth. If you can’t visualize this, just trust that it is happening. The Universal Heart of Love in various colors is extremely powerful because it is pure love. Where there is love, no fear, stress, anxiety, guilt or any other negative emotion can exist.

For more shows on how to manage anxiety please listen to:

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

 To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/

 

 

 

Prevent and Reverse Diabetes, Obesity, Heart Disease and More

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Empowerment
Prevent and Reverse Diabetes, Obesity, Heart Disease and More

Buddha_Meditation_Tree.jpg

In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit,  my guest Dr. Pankaj Vij and I discuss the necessity of healing the mind in order to heal the body. The mind and body are inextricably linked, dependent upon each other’s health for overall vitality. In today’s blog, in addition to my tip of the week and my silver lining story, Marian Stephens shares how she is using the information in this episode to change her life. All my previous blogs, including the first three posts with Marian’s Story, are on my website, paulajoyce.com. Be sure to check them out and follow Marian’s progress.

 Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

 Our country is facing an epidemic of obesity, diabetes, heart disease, and autoimmune illness. A fast-paced lifestyle packed with exposure to news events, social media, and numerous entertainment outlets leads people to suffer from depression and anxiety which makes taking care of one’s health even more difficult. My tip this week is a simple way to alleviate anxiety.

Limit your access to the news: Too much news can create fear, sadness and depression. Minimize your exposure to things that you cannot change. Watching the news can be more upsetting than listening to it or reading it. Pay attention to your responses to the different media and get your news in the way that upsets you the least. Once you have the information, you don’t have to keep exposing yourself to the trauma of the day over and over again. Some people pride themselves on being news junkies. Even the word “junky” should be a warning that too much news is addictive and not good for you. This tip is especially important if you are in the habit of watching the news before bedtime because that will interfere with a good night’s sleep. As our guest today knows, anxiety makes sleeping more difficult, which ultimately impacts your health. Especially in current times when there is so much violence and discord, we are all experiencing increased levels of fear. It’s as if we’re all living with PTSD. We need a good night’s sleep for our bodies and minds to recover, heal and be ready to face a new day with positive energy and optimism. I think there’s a reason we have late night comedy shows. Intuitively people know it’s better to go to sleep smiling and laughing than sad and fearful. Yes, we must know what is going on in the world, but we also have to be sensible. Some things we can change and others we can’t. We have a moral obligation to work for positive change in the world, and we also have an obligation to ourselves, our loved ones and our community to not destroy our own health in the process. We all must continue to find the joy in our own lives and spread optimism and hope.

 Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Positive social interaction, friendship, and relationships with family are keys to maintaining good health and vitality. Here are three stories that describe encounters between strangers that had a positive impact on everyone involved. While kindness, compassion, and a willingness to listen might seem inconsequential, they might alter someone’s outlook on their day and life.

Cheryl was driving home alone late one night when she had a flat tire. Since she was just a few blocks from her destination, she decided to walk home and deal with fixing the flat in the morning. Given the time of night, she didn’t feel safe walking alone. She solved her problem by calling the local police station. The policewoman said she would stay on the phone until Cheryl was safely home. Although Cheryl isn’t very comfortable with superficial conversation, she also didn’t like the silence. So, she decided to try talking with the policewoman while she was walking. As Cheryl relayed the story to me, she said it was one of the most pleasant conversations she could remember having with a stranger. It turned out they were both from Detroit and had a delightful time finding things in common. Cheryl took what could have been a traumatic experience with a flat tire in the middle of the night and awkward silence with a stranger on the other end of the phone into a pleasant social interaction that brightened both of their lives–so much so that days later my friend was still sharing the story and recreating that happy feeling.

My car has been broken into twice over the last three years by people obviously looking for something worth stealing. The first time they broke my window, which caused me time and money to fix. They found $2 in change that I keep in a little drawer in my car. This time they didn’t break the window. Obviously, there are now devices that can override the locks and alarm systems that are supposed to protect my car from break-ins. I didn’t even know they had been there until I got in the car and saw the contents of my glove compartment thrown all over my front seat. This time they missed the $2 in change and didn’t seem to want the small umbrella, coupons or bottle of water that were stored in there. I was relieved that I didn’t have to replace the car window, which cost me over $200 previously. It is, however, a violation of my personal space and creates a feeling of not being safe. After I put everything back, I continued to the grocery store. I felt calm and thought I was ok until I was checking out and I heard myself telling the cashier that my car had just been broken into. She simply said: “I’m sorry that happened to you.” I felt an instant shift in my body. Whatever stress was there, just disappeared. Her compassion connected us as people, not as employee and customer. The conversation expanded, and we were talking about moving to Texas and what brought us here. A crime became an opportunity for empathy and kindness, just like my friend’s flat tire created the same opportunity for human connection, proving again that it isn’t what happens to you, it’s what you do with your experience that makes all the difference.

My third story is about a woman who called because she wanted to attend my upcoming workshop. In the phone message, she said she somehow found my website. She proceeded to share that she had been abused since childhood when her mother put cocaine in her milk bottle, and she wanted people to know that they are never alone because God is always with them. She ended by asking me to call her back. When I did return her call, she was surprised, saying “I didn’t think you’d call.” We spoke for a few minutes and I gave her the information she needed to attend the workshop. After we said good-bye, but before she hung up, I heard her telling the people she lives with: “Dr. Paula Joyce called me back.” There was such excitement and joy in her voice. It demonstrated so clearly how we never know the full impact of our actions, even a seemingly small one. With all the abuse she has experienced, including homelessness, she has the passion of wanting to heal and of wanting others to know that God is always with them. Once again, your life isn’t about what happens to you. What matters is how you think about what happens and how you use it to create your life in a positive way.

Marian Stephen’s Story

Each week that I listen to the show, I am amazed and left feeling optimistic because I am gaining much insight into ways to make lasting change. It is exciting to be listening and using Dr. Paula’s teachings to improve my whole body – mind, body, and spirit – and sharing my progress because I believe she is tapped into what people need and desire. Every show is relevant to my journey, and I know if it speaks to me, it will to so many others. Dr. Paula suggested that I keep a success journal and I want to share an entry: Today I made a true connection with my in-laws. We had meaningful conversation, enjoyed each other’s company, and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Beau (2-year-old) was well-behaved and they got to experience an enjoyable outing with him.

Dr. Paula asks listeners: How can you create more positive human connections with people? I am an introvert, so this is a hard one for me! I am shy, so it makes socializing a nerve wracking experience. I am very close to my parents, sister, and husband. I am also becoming close to my husband’s parents, and that is exciting. However, I know that these connections are not enough. I know from experience friendship is fulfilling in so many ways, but I am not always the greatest friend. I have a very good friend that I have hurt recently by breaking plans and not being available, and I need to fix this. This friend sees the very best in me and holds me to a high standard, and I want to embrace this instead of running from it. I am going to be mindful of keeping plans we make and work on reestablishing the connection I have with her.

As I have said, I have progressive multiple sclerosis. I have been on over ten medications to treat this disease and they either do not work or I am allergic. It is disheartening to keep trying new things only to hit a wall. I was to begin a new medication this week (a monthly injection), and I was apprehensive about the side effect profile. Multiple Sclerosis medications are often immunosuppressants with a hefty list of potential side effects. I kept pushing that nagging feeling out of my mind because I am stubborn, and sometimes desperately want something to work. The nurse was at my house to give me the injection when my doctor called and said the medication was pulled from the market due to safety concerns. Several patients on this med died or are critically ill. I had just listened to Dr. Vij and Dr. Paula express the importance of healing the mind and spirit before the body can be healed, and now the medication is yanked off the market. The timing of this is not coincidental. I must work on healing the pain that I have experienced in the past few years, even though that is scary, and I am not sure how to accomplish it. I also ignored my inner voice that kept telling me to pay attention to my apprehension about the medication, and my intuition was right.

Dr. Vij has great advice for diet and lifestyle changes. He is very straightforward, it doesn’t feel overwhelming to think of making small changes. Like many people, I tend to be all or nothing when it comes to diet. It is good to be reminded that a nutrient-dense, plant-based diet is optimal. I can easily make that a focus in my household. I love the six things he says to focus on: feet, forks, fingers, sleep, stress, and love. Pay attention to exercise, what we eat, eliminating toxins, getting good sleep, managing stress, and the positive social connections. While it will take work to incorporate these changes, it is not an insurmountable challenge. As Dr. Vij said, “How do you eat an elephant? You eat it one bite at a time.”

For more shows on improving your health, please listen to the following:

·       Increasing Bone Density with Deb McFarland

·       No prescription drugs and only 1 pill a day! with Dr. Lewis Cone

·       Integrative Medicine: New Approaches To Healing with Dr. Paula Fayerman

 FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

 To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/

Using Natural Cycles to Recharge Your Life

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Empowerment
Using Natural Cycles to Recharge Your Life

Using Natural Cycles to Recharge Your Life

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In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit,  my guest Dr. Pia Orleane and I explore the restorative power of being mindful of your natural cycles to recover health, vitality, and overall wellness. This can be as simple as resting when we need to and connecting with nature. Dr. Orleane pointed out that the belief systems in the society we live in determine our behavioral patterns, many of which are harmful to us. We’ve come to believe that we must be constantly producing, but this takes a heavy toll on our health and our longevity. The brain and body need rest in order to function at their best. Dr. Orleane recommended getting in harmony with nature by following the cycle of your breath. When you breathe in, you go inward and become introspective. When you breathe out, you move outward into the world taking action. We need both components of the cycle. In today’s blog, in addition to my tip of the week and my silver lining story, Marian Stephens shares how she is using the information in this episode to change her life. All my previous blogs, including the first three posts with Marian’s Story, are on my website, paulajoyce.com. Be sure to check them out and follow Marian’s progress.

 Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

In our fast-paced society, it is easy to get caught up in life’s challenges and ignore the signals our bodies send us to slow down. When we ignore the messages from our bodies and push through, illness is often an undesired outcome.

And now for your tip for the week from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment. I wrote this book because when you are self-empowered, you are connected to your limitless higher self, your soul, your intuition, your gut feelings, your guidance. Our limitless higher self is the wiser part of ourselves, the part that knows the Truth of who we are. My Tip for this week is in honor of our topic today: Do Body Awareness Exercise. Most of us ignore our body, how it feels, what it wants. Learn to pay attention to your body through activities such as: Yoga, Pilates, Feldenkrais, Tai Chi. This is also in keeping with the advice Numerologist Alice Rosen gave us in our second show of the year. She emphasized that 2018 is the year of Truth, including being true to ourselves and honest with ourselves. Our bodies communicate with us, and if we don’t listen, they have to talk louder. Unfortunately for us, that often means physical pain or illness. When we are tired, for instance, our body is telling us to rest. We are physical beings and no “to do” list is more important than our own health. If we insist on pushing through the tiredness, we lower our immune system and are more likely to get sick. Being ill, forces us to rest or at least slow down. It’s better to learn to listen to the initial signs before our body forces us to rest.

 Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

 Mindfulness is a powerful tool for maintaining optimal health. By simply resting and focusing on positive thoughts, you can avoid a potential illness.

When I was getting ready to do my writing for today’s episode, I started to experience acute pain in my ribs. I recognized it as a healing crisis connected to the scoliosis I’m correcting, but I didn’t know how long it would last. I thought about trying to push through it, and I quickly shifted my thinking and chose to watch a 30-minute comedy show instead. The story line and laughter took my mind off the pain and gave my body time to recover. When the show was over, I was delighted to discover that the pain had passed, and I was able to think clearly. My silver lining was seeing that I’ve learned to take care of myself and relax when I need to.

I didn’t always know how to listen to my body and used to regularly get bronchitis, sinus infections and I even had pneumonia twice. During those times, I still found the silver linings.  I would use the time for rest and solitude and to think about the parts of my life that weren’t working the way I wanted them to. Although this wasn’t the easiest way to make life changes, it did help me discover what I wasn’t wanting to see. Once you acknowledge the truth in your life, you can’t go backwards. The pauses in our life, can be amazing gifts.

In 1999, I wrote this imaginative piece about a woman tuning into her own rhythms and retreating from the world:

He had warned her about the book. Now it was too late. Days later he found her lying quietly in a deep trance with leaves growing on the book. She had been so sweet. He wished he had never let her into his life. Then this wouldn’t be happening. She’d be out playing with the others instead of imprisoned in her body. This always happened and so few came back. He wondered if she would be able to bridge the worlds and return to him, to new life, to all that this physical world has to offer, to his love and her destiny. If she can come back, if she makes it, she will hold the key to the next generation. Her wisdom will help us all evolve to the next heart level. So all I can do now is wait and pray. The pull to the other side is so great. It’ll be hard for her to leave now that she’s had the taste of ecstasy, of true deep connection. Why would anyone come back? Sometimes they’re pushed back and sometimes they make a conscious choice. I do hope she comes back. She and I can do good work together. We each have pieces of the puzzle and when we put together who we are and what we know, we’ll be dynamite. Here’s to that future.

 Marian Stephens’ Story

I am pleased with the changes that are happening in my household. By simply listening to the show, applying the tip of the week to my life, and being more mindful, I am excited to share several positive changes and many more are in the works. My 8-year-old, who I enrolled in school, is doing great – his teacher said he is doing “phenomenal”! I discovered a program that has wrap around services for my special needs 17-year-old that he should be approved for shortly. I have been writing every day, which is keeping me thinking creatively. My husband and I have been openly communicating and are enjoying an even deeper connection. It is amazing how much improvement can come about with just a little bit of work.

Dr. Paula asks listeners this week to be willing to listen to their bodies and use their natural cycles to recharge their lives. I have progressive multiple sclerosis and I am about to start a new medication to see if the progression will slow down. I am having increased difficulty walking which is impacting my ability to take care of my family. I put a lot of emphasis on medication sometimes, and I often find myself frustrated with the results. I avoid being introspective and retreating to focus on my health because I am afraid to rely on myself to heal. It is easier to blame my immobility on medication failure than it is to feel that I am not strong enough mentally to heal. But, it is time to let that fear go and rely on my inner strength. I am starting a new medication this month and I will combine that with going inward and regenerating during the moon cycle this month.

Dr. Paula and Dr. Pia Orleane share many compelling ideas on how to improve relationships. They both stress the importance of loving oneself first and foremost which leads to being able to completely love another. It is not that I do not love myself, it is more that there are behaviors that I know I need to improve that I let go by the wayside. Recently, I kept saying that I would start working on certain things soon (tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow…) because these are not easy things to change and it is a painful process – to really look in the mirror. But, this procrastination was causing imbalance in my relationship with my husband, and that imbalance frustrated me and made me want to work on things even less. It is a terrible cycle – actively not liking the way I am behaving and how it affects the family prevents real connection and intimacy from happening. I wanted honest connection and intimacy so badly that I kept trying to manufacture and force it. That never works and leads me right back to not liking how I am acting. Listening to Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit instantly affirmed that I am right to desire and cherish and nourish the connection and intimacy that I organically have with my husband. So I started applying the lessons available and am watching that imbalance correct itself. Dr. Pia Orleane helps me articulate how it feels necessary to have intimacy, trust in myself, and balance to have a strong relationship.

Dr. Paula’s Response To Marian

Great insights and forward motion. Please remember that change is a process, not an event. Have compassion for yourself and congratulate yourself on your successes and progress. Too often we only look at what we still need to do and forget how far we’ve come. Here are two suggestions to help you in your process:

  • Keep a Success Journal. Every day take a few minutes to write your progress and what you did that makes you feel good about yourself.
  • Do this exercise to release fear
  1. Ask yourself: If fear were a color, what color would it be?
  2. Choose a symbol that represents fear.
  3. Use that color to draw the symbol that represents fear.
  4. Tear up the paper into tiny pieces, like confetti, and throw it up in the air, flush it down the toilet or burn it.
  5. Spread the ashes or pieces of paper in your garden and say a prayer that the fear be transformed into love.
  6. At the end of this simple exercise, you will have released a layer of fear and you will feel lighter and more at ease. You can do this every time you feel fear and it will help you release more each time.
  7. You can also use this for other emotions like guilt or shame.

For more shows on mindfulness please listen to:

 Learn How to Manage Yourself, Not Your Time with Nan Russell

Create Success with Your Internal Guidance with Zen Cryar DeBrücke

Mindfulness Practices to Clear Emotional Clutter with Donald Altman

FREE CHAPTER, THE ULTIMATE CREATIVE PROBLEM-SOLVING PROCESS, FROM MY BEST-SELLING BOOK, NOTHING BUT NET

To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, unleashes your creativity and helps you solve your most challenging problems, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/

G.I.V.E. to Get

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G.I.V.E. to Get

Emotional skills are more important than ever for 21st century business. Good leadership can be quickly undermined by lack of emotional regulation. Without the skill to manage your own emotion, leaders can act impulsively. Harsh works can burn long built bridges of connection in seconds, leaving damaged working relationships in ashes. And what is ultimately damaged is trust.

So, what can you do?

First, leaders need to be self-aware of the things that cause them to be dysregulated. The body is the first clue. By scanning for sensations that signal distress, you can start to reverse the process. Sensations like a tight throat, a pounding heart, judgmental thoughts, sweaty palms, and a knot in the stomach are signals that shouldn’t be ignored. Our body gives us clues to our state of mind constantly. Understanding how your body speaks to you is worth investigating with curiosity.

Once you know what is happening, giving yourself permission to step away, take a breath, and sooth yourself. Use your five senses: focus on something beautiful, listen to music, smell something calming, put an ice cube in your mouth. By focusing on these sensations, the brain has to shift. As we calm down, you can gain perspective and choice how to respond to a situation, rather than reacting impulsively that could negatively impact important relationships.

For your teams to feel respected and valued, they need to feel heard. Listening to those around you is an important skill many leaders struggle with; however, it is critical for everyone’s success. When teams feel heard, they will not only give you their best, they will give you their loyalty.

An easy way to remember this skill is G.I.V.E. (adapted from the work of Marsha Linehan, PhD)
• (be) GENTLE: approach the conversation in a non-threatening, open, receptive and available way.
• (be) INTERESTED: John Gottman says it is more important to be interested than interesting! This
means you are attentive, curious, and focused on listening, not to just respond, but to
understand what is being said. You are allowing the time to really pay attention while
setting aside your own preconceived ideas of what might be happening.
• VALIDATE: Validation is about understanding. It is not about fixing a situation, or finding a
teaching moment. It is saying “I get it” without looking for rebuttals. The primary goal is
to have the speaker feel heard. This step MUST ALWAYS precede problem solving.
• EASY MANNER: Being approachable and creating a safe space where people can come to you with
concerns is an important skill. It allows you to be professional without being intimidating.
Safety increases trust and communication.

Remember, learning new skills is a practice, but one that is well worth it! It is not enough to work from the top down. To be truly successful, we must work from the inside out!

If you would like to listen to the show Skills of Connection follow this link to hear the replay!

https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/104077/skills-for-connection

Dealing with Stress Like Your Life Depends On It

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Business
Dealing with Stress Like Your Life Depends On It

It seems that we all spend an enormous amount time trying to avoid what we feel. Every other commercial on TV or the Internet is designed to take us away from what is happening to us. Have a headache? Take this. Overwhelmed? Talk to your doctor about this new medication. Stressed? Get away to our great vacation destination. But everyone of these strategies are about avoiding what is happening to us. Although some avoidance can be a positive exercise, we can’t get away from everything that stresses us out. So, what are we supposed to do?

When we allow ourselves to pay attention to what is happening, both internally and externally, it gives us the ability to look at things in a new way. If we get curious about the sensations in our body, our thoughts and judgments going through our head, the emotions we feel, and the environment these all exit in, we can assess what is happening vs. just reacting to it. That pause, to key into ourselves, allows us to make decisions about what is needed in the moment.

One of the problems I often see is that we know what we need (to eat, to rest, to play, to be creative) but we deny ourselves these things because there are always more pressing things to do. We focus on the “to do” list and we become so enslaved to it that we put taking care of ourselves last on that list every time. We begin to glean our self-worth from how much me do and how productive we are. We wear our exhaustion like a badge of honor becoming “Human Doings” instead of “Human Beings.”

I still remember a time when we went to work from 9-5. When we arrived home, we did not engage in our work again until the next day. There was time for recreation, time for family, time of hobbies, time to just play with the kids and time to rest. But, our 21st century lives don’t work that way. We are expected to be available to our jobs nights, weekends, and holidays. There is no break because the workday never ends. And the things that are designed to keep us resilient get pushed aside.

As we continue to operate this way, is it any wonder that stress related illness is out of control? Our bodies can only take so much before they will let us know they are at the breaking point. Ignoring the signs can make us literally sick, or worse.

I believe that getting clear about what is happening to us is not just something helpful to do, but vital to our health, well-being, and ultimately our survival. It is not optional any more. We must cultivate things in our lives that gives us resiliency to combat the stress we encounter every day. Those things can include rest, creativity, music, meditation, yoga, sport, recreation, nature, pets, volunteerism, and activism. When we make time in our lives for the things that matter, that things that are difficult get better. It is a practice, like any other Mindfulness practice. But without it, the stress of our lives can overtake us and rob us of any joy in our lives, leaving us resentful and bitter.

It is so important. Make the time. It is not optional. Engage in it like your life depends on it, because it does!

The “What if” Trap

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Business
The “What if” Trap

Are your thoughts keeping you up at night? Is your brain trying to run every possible, worst case scenario for you to be prepared for anything that might happen? If the answer is yes, you have fallen into the What If Trap!

We all want to be prepared for what may happen in our business lives. Strategic planning is an important part of any good business plan. However, if you are trying to perceive every roadblock or setback before it happens, not only is that exhausting, but could actually sabotage your ability to deal with things when they happen in real time.

Our brain has the ability to forward think. It can project thoughts into the future and play with options that might happen. The problem is that although are brain can travel to the future, our body can only be in the here and now.  And when the brain and the body are disconnected, the emotion that is cultivated is anxiety. Every single time.

Instead of staying balanced and connected, we shift into an emotional type of thinking that sounds reasonable, but isn’t. Anxiety also shuts down the part of the brain we need to make good decisions, the frontal lobe, and without it, we are operating on all reaction and emotion. That is never a good place to operate from when you are trying to make decisions.

So, what can you do?

First, we must recognize what is happening. Our body gives us clues that we often ignore.  They are like an early warning system that lets us know we are no longer in the present moment, but heading into the What If Trap. We hold our breath, our heart rate increases, our chest and throat get tight. We may feel our hands and feet get cold while our face gets hot.  These are all signs that we are in one of the three anxiety states: flight, fight, or freeze.  Once this happens, our emotional brain starts freaking out, making interpretations that we are not ok, and everything will be bad!

Being aware increase the chances that you can reverse the process.  Take a slow deep breath.  One option is to breathe in deeply for the count of 4, hold your breath for a count of 2, and blow out slowly for a count of 6.  The longer out breath helps to reset the central nervous system.

You can also shift your thoughts.  The brain cannot think inside and outside at the same time. When you refocus your attention away from your catastrophizing thoughts and put your full attention on something tangible in front of you, the brain must shift.

Put your full focus on something in your hands.  Get curious about it.  Describe it in as much detail as possible.  Involve as many senses, sight, sound, touch, taste, smell, as you can.  The more involved you are, the less you will be able to keep the What If thoughts going.  Once you do, the body makes the shift as well and you will calm down.

This is a practice. The more you do it the better you will get at it.  I know if sounds simple and it is!  But it also works!  So, give it a try.  See if you can make the shift.  Once you do, you will understand that this is where the control of a situation lies, not in thinking about everything that can go wrong!

If you would like to bring Innovative Mindful Solutions into your business, contact Terry at terry@terrygaller.com for more information!

 

Observations on Mindfulness

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Business
Observations on Mindfulness

Observations on Mindfulness
I know the idea of Mindfulness sounds elusive. People often envision sitting crossed-legged on the floor, repeating “OMMMM” over and over, waiting for their mind to settle down. If you are like me, that process never worked! My brain is often too busy running down rabbit holes of thoughts that lead in a million directions at ninety miles an hour. Sound familiar?
For me, Mindfulness was like a miracle. It was less about stillness, and more about observation. I would often overreact to my thoughts, believing they were telling me the truth of a situation. Learning the concepts of Mindfulness, I came to understand that my thoughts are not always facts, but are filled with judgments and assumptions that are often wrong. Yet responding in that state could drive my emotions right off a cliff, leaving me in a state of stress all the time. It was exhausting!
Observing my own thoughts gave me space. It gave me perspective. And most importantly, it gave me time to assess whether this was a thought I needed to react to or not. It gave me choice. And in that choice, whether to react or not, gave me a freedom I did not know was possible.
I always loved the analogy of the subway car. I could imagine spray painting my thoughts on a shiny silver car. And when the doors of the car opened, I could decide to get on that thought train and ride, or step back on the platform and let those thoughts speed down the track into the dark. Since learning Mindfulness almost two decades ago, I ride that train a lot less, and have created more peace in my life. Even when times are overwhelming or stress.
The great thing is this doesn’t require a lot of time. Just stop. Take a breath. Notice how you feel. Observe your thoughts. And then, decide what you want to do. I promise you, this simple exercise can create miracles for you too!

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