Tag Archives

6 Articles

Aunt Caily: A Tribute to Mothers, Even those Who Aren’t

Posted by presspass on
0
Empowerment
Aunt Caily: A Tribute to Mothers, Even those Who Aren’t

Aunt Caily: A Tribute to Mothers, Even those Who Aren’t

Being Here...TooMy Great Aunt Caily was my grandmother’s younger sister. My Grandma and Grandpa eventually moved to Oregon to raise their family but Aunt Caily and her husband, Uncle Gil, lived and died in Orange City, Iowa.

Born in the early 1900’s, Caily came to adulthood in an era when her childless status labeled her as a lady who couldn’t have kids, rather than being regarded as a woman who simply didn’t have kids. I sometimes wonder about the details of her life, things that I will never know. Of course they were never my business anyway.

When I was young, I sometimes confided in Aunt Caily, but like most children, I was mainly concerned for myself. I had little room to be curious about her. I never knew the reason why she and Uncle Gil didn’t have a family of their own, but I did know that she was special and they were both very loved. It occurs to me that perhaps she, like many folks, didn’t have a clue as to the difference she made. Our paths didn’t cross often. It was a long train-ride from Iowa to Oregon (she refused to travel by air) and our family only visited her on occasion. However, there are bright moments that drift through my memory when I think of her.

Diminutive in stature, feisty in nature, Aunt Caily had a high voice and she was quick to laugh. When I was in those difficult teen years, she came to Grandma’s house and I recall sitting with her on the couch as she asked me about my day. I’m not sure how it happened, but I confided in her that a lot of kids at school were doing drugs, “speed” to be exact, the 70s version of meth. I found it disturbing and I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I don’t recall that she gave me advice or that we came up with a plan or solution, but it was a relief to unburden my load to an adult who would simply listen and who wouldn’t “freak out” and call the school or take unwanted, embarrassing actions.

BakingSodaI frequently think of my Great Aunt Caily when I’m cleaning up after cooking a meal. She once gave my mother advice that has been passed down as a bit of family wisdom. According to Mom, one time when she was visiting Caily, they had pot roast for dinner. Afterwards, my mom did the dishes and as she was scrubbing the pot that had been used to make the roast, Caily came into the kitchen.

“What are you doing?” Caily asked abruptly, startling my mother.

“The dishes,” Mom replied.

“But why are you scrubbing that pot? Don’t be silly. Use baking soda.”

“Baking soda?”

“Yes, of course. Sprinkle some on the pot and let it soak a bit. It will lift the baked-on grease and leavings.”

This was a lesson my mother taught me – a little family legacy from my Great Aunt Caily. Baking soda really does lift the baked-on grease and pan leavings. I rarely have to scrub hard after I use my pots and pans. When Caily gave my mom that nugget of kitchen magic, I’m sure she had no clue that decades after her death, her wisdom would live on in me…and now you.

Most of us underestimate what we have to offer, worrying about what we want to accomplish in our lifetime. We focus on the “big” things, thinking that’s what matters, when sometimes it is the little, unexpected things that matter the most.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

Life is in the Blintzes

Posted by presspass on
0
Empowerment
Life is in the Blintzes

“Life is in the Blintzes”

By Eric in Brooklyn, NY

An excerpt from Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Enlightenment, Ariel and Shya Kane

When my maternal grandmother, Dora, was a child, she came to America from a tiny village in Eastern Europe. One of my fondest memories of her was that she made amazing blintzes, thin crepe-like pancakes filled with savory cheese. When I was a little boy I’d visit her in the Bronx in New York City, and we’d walk together to the store, my small hand in hers, to get fresh ingredients. Then we’d go back to her apartment and I’d watch her make my beloved blintzes. She never followed a recipe. Everything she made was by eye or by heart. The best part of all was eating them. My grandmother was a cheek pincher who loved me with food. And her food, from blintzes to chicken soup to chopped liver, was extraordinary.

By contrast, I hadn’t felt as close to my mother. While my dad and I shared jokes and a common interest in music, when I was in my pre-teen years, I decided that my mother was stoic, cold, and unable to connect with me emotionally. We didn’t spend much time talking and I didn’t enjoy her cooking.

Eventually I decided that I no longer wanted to be associated with the people in my mother’s family: Eastern European Jews. Their heritage, religion, language, customs, and even their food, including my formerly beloved blintzes, had become embarrassing to me. I conveniently forgot about the hard work and sacrifices my family had made to give me the life that I was taking for granted. I forgot how my mother had paid for things – my cello lessons, an expensive private college, and financial support she gave me when I was having some significant personal struggles – not to mention unwavering moral support.

Years passed and the gulf between me and my mother widened. When my parents moved to Florida, I never made visiting them a priority although my mom took the time to visit me. When I was cast as a professional actor in plays in Boston and New York City, my mother always came to see my performances. After the shows she would meet me, give me a hug and, before I had a chance to ask what she thought of my performance, she would whisper in my ear, “You were the best one.”

When I started to participate in Instantaneous Transformation seminars with Ariel and Shya, I saw that I had preconceived notions of my mother. I didn’t see her as she was. I saw her as I thought she was. That’s not the same thing. My thoughts about her were colored by a filter, put in place by my disgruntled teenage self who’d been insecure and desperate to fit in. Once I saw this important distinction, I was able to truly listen to what Mom had to say and to see things from her perspective. I saw her loving nature and acts, both past and present, because they were no longer at odds with my own very strong point of view. I was suddenly able to remember the hugs as well as the cream cheese and jelly sandwiches with no crusts. I even remembered when I went through my “purple phase” and Mom knitted me a purple sweater. It was well made, but in retrospect it wasn’t a great color decision for me. As a result of my new perspective, our relationship became closer and sweeter.

My grandma Dora is long gone. My mother is ninety-one and her health and memory are fading. She’s confined to a wheelchair and although her long-term memory is generally good, her short-term memory is nonexistent. She remembers my Dad, but not that he’s been dead for twenty years.

I recently went down to Florida to visit her. At first she thought I was a doctor, which was not a total loss. I’m a lawyer and a literary agent, but she had dreamt of my becoming a doctor, and to her I was. She told me she’d enjoyed my comedy show the night before (I was a standup comedian several years ago) although she felt I went on a little too long. Of course there was no show, but she was happy, especially that she’d stayed at my friend Oprah’s apartment. I was pleased to learn that I am close friends with Oprah Winfrey.

I wasn’t upset with Mom’s confusion. As long as she wasn’t depressed or scared, I rolled with it, going along with her reality. But she wasn’t eating and her nurses and aides were concerned. An additional benefit of my participating in the Kanes’ seminars is that I’ve become very intuitive. More accurately, I’ve allowed my intuition to override what used to be my denial and doubt.

Flat Book Cover.jpgI knew in my gut that blintzes would reignite my mother’s appetite. I asked the medical professionals if there were concerns about fat, salt or any other nutritional caveats. They said my mother needed calories and, at this point, any were good. I went to a deli near my mom’s house and on the way home, my car was filled with the familiar aroma of blintzes and matzo ball soup. Images of my grandmother’s smile went through my mind. I heard the roar of the crowd at Yankee stadium as we walked through her Bronx neighborhood. Most importantly, I felt the lineage of love that traveled from Dora through my mother to me. Unexpected tears welled up as I drove the Florida roads, far from New York City. I was grateful I could allow myself the pleasure of those tears, the welling of love and affection. When my mother devoured two blintzes and smiled at me, my chest swelled with gratitude for Instantaneous Transformation. My heritage is rich and full of love and life. In that moment, I rediscovered that life is in the blintzes.

This is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, which is available wherever books are sold as of November 12, 2018.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYCGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books

Walk a Mile…or Two or Ten…in Their Shoes By Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
Categories
Walk a Mile…or Two or Ten…in Their Shoes By Ariel & Shya Kane

May 3: Walk a Mile… or Two or Ten… in Their Shoes

It’s so easy to judge how your parents raised you and how they live their lives, but only if you lack compassion for all that it means to be human. Take a chance. Set down your story and your need to be right and walk a mile… or two or ten… in their shoes. You just might end up being grateful instead. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141!

Listen Live this Wednesday, May 3rd at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel 

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone
Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device
VoiceAmerica app for Apple
– VoiceAmerica app for Android

Ordinary Things by Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
Categories
Ordinary Things by Ariel & Shya Kane

Ordinary Things
By Ariel Kane

Sometimes I feel silly for how moved I am by ordinary things – but mostly I am profoundly grateful. I wonder from time-to-time if everyone gets drawn to things in their environment – things that are spectacular even if they are apparently everyday events or simple moments. I would like to share with you an example of being here for ordinary things and how it impacted my life. I hope it opens up a possibility for a sense of well being in your own life.

In honor of their 65th wedding Anniversary, I took my parents on a trip to the beach. My sister Cathy joined us and we stayed in a lovely condo at Pacific beach in Oregon. At 89 and 88 years of age, my mom and dad did not feel inclined to trek down to walk along the shore but the view from the unit was spectacular and the weather was fine. While the whole trip was memorable, particularly since my mother declared it would be the last to the beach given their advanced age, it was a few ordinary things that have been etched in my mind.

On the first evening, my father and sister went to bed early and mom and I watched a succession of old movies – silly and dramatically acted in the style of films from that era that were still influenced by the larger than life style of theater and vaudeville. Throughout the days we spent there, we had turkey chili and omelets, a fire in the gas fireplace behind surprisingly realistic ceramic logs. There were flaming sunsets, semi-tame wild rabbits, sun ripened blackberries along the road where I took my daily walk, sea breezes and morning fog – all of this was great, but the main thing that moved me was an extraordinarily intimate moment, for all that was an ordinary thing.

On the second day of our beach trip, I came in from a walk and found my folks in the living room asleep on the couch. Mom was snuggled down with a blanket and a pillow and Dad was listing slightly to his right, his arm draped across the armrest. I paused as I took in the sweetness of the scene. It was likely something they had done a thousand times before, yet the moment was no less profound for its familiarity. In fact, the very ease of these two people, who I love dearly, was all the more stunning in its simple grace. Quietly entering, I sat in the chair across from them as they slumbered. I knew in my heart that they were closing in on the final chapter of their lives together. And then I saw it once again – the love, the simplicity, how they anchored one another even in repose. Mom’s feet were pressed against Dad’s thigh as he held one foot with his left hand, wedding ring glowing faintly. It was a perfect moment and I was there to see it, there to experience it.
jaguar
In the recent past, I have seen many things; the play of light on a blazing autumn tree, a jaguar’s lazy piercing gaze, a young child climbing into an enormous bin of brightly colored balls, my grandsons hair dyed in a bright purple Mohawk, a profusion of vegetables at the farmer’s market, a butterfly on a thistle, sheep being herded by a sheepdog that was being trained by a farmer in his field as they clustered around a horse, flowers of all colors and textures and the loving gesture of two people who have spent more time together than many people will spend on this earth – much less with another. I am happy to be here and grateful to have seen and have been moved by all of these “ordinary” things.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

More Here!

Parents Are People, Too By Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
7th Wave
Parents Are People, Too By Ariel & Shya Kane

October 12, 2016 – Parents Are People, Too

Has it ever occurred to you that you don’t “own” your parents – that they are people, too? Tune in to this enlightening episode of Being Here with Ariel & Shya Kane and discover that if you stop referencing your parents for why you do the things you do (or don’t do) that you can be free to live your own life.

Listen Live this Wednesday, October 12th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone
Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device
VoiceAmerica app for Apple 
VoiceAmerica app for Android

Listen here!

 

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Twitter