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                                                                       LOVE LIGHT GUEST TESTIMONIAL

                                                                               Dr. Rana Al-Falaki (England)

                                                                                                  Be Free Be Fun Be Fearless

Founder of Light Changes Coaching, Life and Business Coach, International Speaker, International Bestselling Author, Periodontist

                                           Show Episode Title: “Recover Your Losses – Journey to Re-Connection”   May 15, 2020

                                                                             LOVE LIGHT Host, Dr. Jean Marie Farish 

“Jean Farish is an inspiration – I also think she never sleeps! She was the ultimate epitome of professionalism, from asking me to be on the show, right through to when we finished it. Her energy is contagious and she is quite clearly incredibly passionate about love, light, consciousness and growth.  The show was so well organized, and I simply loved her engagement with her audience and with myself. I felt like a very welcome guest in her home, and Jean’s warmth and spirit has the ability to draw in people from all walks of life, where everything she says makes you more curious to know more, learn more and simply be more.  Thank you so much for having me Jean, and I look forward to being able to give you a hug in person once again soon! ”  

                                                                                                                                                                                    Dr. Rana Al-Falaki

                                                                                                                                                           Website: https://www.lightchangescoaching.com






Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse: A 7 Step Journey

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Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse: A 7 Step Journey


In a recent episode from my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, my guest, Carolin Houser, and I take on the sensitive topic of sexual abuse, and provide tangible methods for healing from the trauma. In addition to sharing some of that information in this blog, Marian Stephens talks about how she is using the information in the episode to change her life. More of Marian’s story and all my previous blogs are on my website, paulajoyce.com. Be sure to check them out.

 Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

17,700,000 women have reported sexual violence since 1998. The #metoo movement has sparked a global conversation about the breadth of sexual violence against women, highlighting the need for tools to help survivors heal. Honoring the survivor’s healing process with patience and empathy is vital and will empower them to overcome the trauma they endured.

 Your tip for this week is from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-empowerment: Allow Yourself to Feel. Robert Frost said: “The only way around it, is through it.” When faced with emotional pain, allow yourself to feel the pain. Then let it go. Crying releases stress hormones from your body. This makes room for the joy. If you have difficulty feeling your emotions, rent a sad movie to help you connect to your feelings. There have been times when I cried, and I wasn’t even sure what caused the tears. I just knew that a deep sadness was coming to the surface and I needed to cry. I don’t apologize for those tears nor do I try to stop them. In fact, a psychologist told me once that when someone is crying, you can comfort them by just being present with them. We often think that it’s helpful to touch their hand or hug them. Those gestures of kindness, however, can cause the person to move out of their emotions and stop crying when what they need is to feel and let the tears do their healing work. When the tears have stopped, we can offer words and hugs of compassion and comfort with the person’s permission. We often rush in thinking we know what’s best or because of our own discomfort with tears or emotions. Part of compassion is learning how to honor and respect the healing process—our own and that of others.

Tears come in their own time and in their own way when the person feels safe enough to accept, process and integrate their own pain. I had one client who was in her 40’s and had never cried over her experience of childhood incest, despite years of counseling and a stay in a residential facility after a nervous breakdown. In our work together, she drew a tear and cried her first tears. Her Higher Self showed her through the drawing that she was ready to express her deep pain and heal the wounded child within. Another client who came to me with debilitating pain, also had never cried over the traumas she experienced as a child and as an adult. Like most women, she didn’t understand that her husband had raped her several times over the years. She assumed that it was his right, as her husband, to have access to her body whenever he chose, even if she said “no.” The fact that she didn’t physically try to fight him off, doesn’t change the fact that he sexually assaulted her. We all have the right to choose when we are available for sex and no one should ever be disrespected sexually by anyone, including, or maybe especially, by their spouse. When the tears came, they were unexpected and overwhelming, and they opened the path for her to finally tell her husband that she had felt violated all of those times when he pushed himself on her after she had said “no.” Those tears also helped her let go of some of the emotional pain that had gotten stuck in her body as physical pain because of the assaults. As we let ourselves become aware of the truth, we can heal.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Treating others with kindness and compassion is more important than we can imagine. The positive impact our words have on a person is immeasurable. Being mindful of how you speak and choosing kindness is an opportunity to create happiness.

 This episode’s silver lining story is short to point out that everything matters when we pay attention and take the time for compassion and kindness. I was having trouble fitting in a client who wanted an extra appointment. I offered to contact her if I had a cancellation, and this was her response: “I’ll wait. I will always have as many questions for you as stars in the night sky. I know you and your team of angels will have the light to make them shine.” I was so touched by her kindness and the poetry of her words. If I hadn’t offered one more option, I would have missed getting this beautiful text. Even trying to set a simple appointment can be an opportunity for silver linings.

 Marian Stephens’ Story

 Each show on Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit has an overarching theme which is if you get to the root of your emotional pain and heal it, then you will be able to heal your body and happily manage your life. Today’s show on healing sexual abuse gave me a few solid ways to achieve this. I know I have begun this healing journey with the show because I am tired of just feeling that I am simply surviving; it is time to flourish. As I said in an email earlier this week, “I am a survivor of abuse…”. I want to be able to say I am thriving having had the experience of abuse.

Dr. Paula’s tip for the week is to allow yourself to feel. Abuse is insidious in that it alters your perception and ability to trust, which creates a pattern of negative emotions. The negative emotions are difficult to feel and bring back a sense of trauma, so you squash those down to forget; often squashing down all emotion. Carolin Hauser suggests allowing yourself to feel the sensations that are created in your body, and to sit with the negative emotions. The only way to root out negative emotion is to fully feel it. One of the most difficult emotions for me to feel is anger. So, that has been the emotion that I keep struggling with. I do not trust myself to know when it is appropriate to be angry, so I tell myself to ignore the feeling. That just leads to it building up, and then I get disproportionately angry. This cycle is not getting better, just increasing in frequency. I am going to allow myself to fully experience anger this week, and I started today. I got overly angry and while I forced myself to sit alone and not speak my angry words, I did not force myself to quit feeling angry until it subsided. After I calmed down, I realized that I have a lot of anger towards my abuser that I have no good way to express, which is uncomfortable. So, I suppress all anger, and that is toxic. Maybe if I allow myself to feel anger, I will release the old anger I have pent up inside of me, ultimately not getting so angry so often.

Dr. Paula and Carolin Hauser both expressed that not taking responsibility is one of the main blocks to emotional healing. With abuse, there is a fine line between taking responsibility and blame. Blaming myself or my abuser simply distracts me from healing the emotional pain of what happened. If I view my relationship with my abuser as one that I chose before this life started, a soul contract meant to help me learn and grow, I think I can begin to reconcile the emotional pain that is contributing to the progression of my multiple sclerosis. Raising a child with special needs, divorce, an abusive relationship, and chronic illness are big lessons to learn in a lifetime. I do believe if I heal the pain from each of these experiences I will be able to reach my potential, including a physically healthy and able body.

 Dr. Paula’s Coaching Response

 Marian, I continue to be impressed with the way you take the content of each show and use it to grow. When you’re being abused, a lot of anger does build up and you have no safe way to release it. Now you can. So, yes, allow yourself to feel it and then use these techniques to release the anger.

1.     Breathe out the anger with a big sigh and imagine that the breath is releasing toxins in the color of grey. Then take in a deep breath of pink air and see it filling your body with emotionally healing energy and light. Do this until the anger passes.

2.     Turn your anger into righteous indignation that helps to solve the problem. For instance, make even a small donation to a women’s shelter; speak out against abuse, as you are doing in this blog; and/or volunteer at a women’s shelter; and realize that healing yourself is helping to heal your family line.

3.     Write and/or draw your angry thoughts and feelings until the anger is spent.

 For more shows on healing from the trauma of abuse, please listen to:

 ·       Healing Trauma Through Spirituality with Dr. Christine Courtois

·       Limitless Possibility with Tracie Stafford with Tracie Stafford

·       Emotional Abuse How to Recognize It and Heal with Dr. Marti Loring


To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: http://paulajoyce.com/wpsite/newsletter-sign-up/


How Craniosacral Therapy Alleviates Pain, Disability, and Dysfunction by Hemda Mizrahi

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How Craniosacral Therapy Alleviates Pain, Disability, and Dysfunction by Hemda Mizrahi

Tracy Lin

Physical Therapist and Craniosacral Therapy (CST) practitioner Tracy Lin joined me on “Turn the Page” to talk about how CST goes beyond treating the physical symptoms of pain, disability and dysfunction, to address causes that are rooted in the psyche and emotions. If you’re still exploring ways you can regain your health and mobility post-injuries, illness, surgeries, or other issues, CST might be one of your “missing links.”

Craniosacral Therapy complements most healthcare modalities, both mainstream and alternative, such as acupuncture, psychology, chiropractic care, and dentistry. It can be integrated as one of a host of other interventions used to address complex medical problems and needs.

After the show, Tracy shared the following three scenarios to further illustrate the benefits of CST. Perhaps you can find yourself, or someone you know in the presenting issues.

The patient slipped on the floor while her foot was caught in the ground. She experienced pain when getting in and out of a cab, and when she was on her feet for more than two to three hours or with quick changes in direction. She also had pain while lying on her back, when bringing her left knee toward the opposite shoulder (with her foot positioned outward, which is an internal rotation of the hip).

Tracy says, “In a typical PT session, I would have focused on strengthening and stretching both of her legs, emphasizing her left hip, along with some manual therapy. However, after guiding her through basic stretches and functional strengthening exercises that she could do at home, I primarily treated her with Craniosacral Therapy with intermittent therapeutic dialoguing. She opened up about a lot of stressful situations, both work-related and personal. Her left hip pain diminished over the course of weekly or bi-monthly sessions over a span of twelve to fourteen weeks. The pain subsided altogether when we discussed her relationship with her mother, which we discovered was a primary source of stress in her body. Although she was a stoic woman, she released some emotions (e.g. teary eyes) while speaking about her mother. Her craniosacral rhythm stopped during this outward expression of emotion, indicating that a source of health-related issues was surfacing from her unconscious to her conscious mind.

Although she was pain-free for the last few weeks I saw her, she requested to continue CST “just in case the pain was to came back.” Recently, I spoke with her and she stated that she has had only a “slight twinge,” but is pain-free as far as she’s concerned.”

“The patient did not tolerate stretching or soft tissue massage of her neck by another physical therapist using “conventional PT treatment,” since it was “too painful,” and caused her to be even more “tense.” Given that the patient was consistently teary-eyed and reported that stress was causing stiffness in her neck, she was referred to me by my colleague, who thought she required a “gentler and sensitive” approach.”

“The patient enjoyed a combination of light touch and therapeutic dialoguing. She felt more “relaxed,” with less pain after the sessions, and her range of motion, along with the soft tissue tightness in her neck, improved. I was consistently drawn to the tissues around her upper left thorax region, just below her collar bone. Over time she revealed that her husband was sick and now in a wheelchair. While her husband had a home health aide five days a week, for four to six hours, the patient was very attentive to his needs. Steering his wheel chair created a lot of strain on the weak muscles in her arms and neck. The patient talked about feeling insignificant in her marriage. Her husband frequently yelled at her and had numerous affairs early in their marriage. Given his lack of respect, she felt guilty and sad in anticipating the relief and freedom she might feel when he died. She realized that she had neglected herself, sacrificing her own needs to accommodate those of her children and husband. Ultimately, she failed to recognize her own self-worth.

In one session, she pictured her chest as a black, heavy object that was “pushing her down,” preventing her from moving. Through therapeutic dialoguing and imagery that elicited feelings of contentment, she felt lighter and freer in her chest, and began to feel the spark of a yearning to “live her life.” She envisioned attending church on a regular basis and joining the choir, which had not been possible given her care-giving responsibilities and guilt. As she spoke about her “happy place,” my hands were drawn to her heart, and the patient expressed that the “heaviness” was releasing. She eventually established a positive and confident view of herself, committing to doing something that made her happy at least once a day without guilt, while her husband was in the care of the home health aide. As her self-assurance strengthened, the patient’s neck muscles became softer, with less to no report of stiffness.”

The patient was referred to PT due to increasing leg spasms that disturbed her balance and gait. She had chronic, intermittent back pain, constant bilateral knee pain from arthritis, and headaches. She walked with a cane, with a slow gait and small uneven steps due to the pain in her knees, and expressed a strong fear of falling.

I initially treated her with “conventional” PT, focusing on balance and gait activities, gentle stretching of her legs, functional strengthening with energy conservation techniques, and instruction on home exercises. In one session, the patient shared that she didn’t do most of the home exercises so that she could conserve her energy for doctor’s appointments. She reported an increase in leg spasms that “threw her balance off” and an even greater fear of falling. As she described that her left leg, from her hip down to her knee, was in spasm, I noticed that she was walking much more slowly and carefully than usual. Inviting her to lay down on the mat and relax, I tuned into her craniosacral rhythm, noticing that it was “sluggish,” especially on her left side, below her rib cage.

After performing gentle hands-on techniques at her left hip and thigh, pelvic region, the full length of her spine (the dura mater, which is the membrane that surrounds the brain and spinal cord), her craniosacral rhythm improved in its rate and was more symmetrical with the left and right side. The patient noted that my hands felt very warm, and her tissues and some parts of her body were more “relaxed.” After the session, she stated that her left leg spasms had decreased considerably. When she stood up to walk, she reported being much “steadier.” As she departed, I observed that she was walking a little faster with more confidence, and a smile.

Depending on her fatigue level, the degree of pain in her knees, and left leg spasms, I continued to treat this patient with CST (versus conventional PT) for about 80% of our sessions for another seven to eight weeks, twice a week. After each CST session, the patient left with diminished pain and spasms, improved vitality in her craniosacral rhythm, and consequently, more energy. As a result of decreased pain and leg spasms, her balance and gait felt more “grounded.” During her last session she reported having “more good days than bad days” as a result of more developed mind/body awareness.”

Tracy shared that while patients with particularly complex health issues such as MS and chronic pain would benefit from further treatment, many are unable to continue their sessions for financial reasons. She notes however, that patients generally emerge from the course of treatment with tools and insights that result in much improved self-care.

Tracy suggests the Upledger Institute website (www.upledger.com) as a referral source for CST practitioners, in addition to “word-of-mouth” recommendations from trusted healthcare providers.

In assessing whether or not a particular Craniosacral Therapist is a good fit for you, she advises: “Find out if a practitioner is certified, or how many courses he/she has taken, in addition to the number of years the therapist has been in practice. Ask if the practitioner is comfortable with treating your condition, and if he/she has treated similar issues. Many highly skilled Craniosacral Therapists are not certified but have substantial experience and training in CST. Without seeking perfection, trust whether or not you feel comfortable with the CST practitioner during the initial visit or treatment. A good CST therapist will assess whether or not he/she is best suited to treat you and may refer you colleagues who might better assist you.”

Learn more about the benefits of CST by listening to my conversation with Tracy

Tracy invites you to contact her at www.iahp.com/Tracy-Lin to discuss your questions about CST, and explore your interest in experiencing this “light touch” therapeutic technique firsthand.

Graduate Level Grief

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Health & Wellness


I made a commitment to writing regularly in my blog. I really committed. I thought about what I would say each week over the months, how I would say it, what was meaningful to me, what would be meaningful to the people who read my blog. I made lists, plans, created visions. I was all set… except then I didn’t do it.

Yes, I’m very busy with my radio show, Good Grief, with my family and my work as a grief counselor. Yes, I’m still absolutely committed to time when I’m not working; to singing, creating, and just plain goofing off. But I didn’t think any of that explained why I wasn’t writing. All those things have failed to prevent me from doing many other things these past few months that I didn’t seem to have time for.

I lived with the question for a solid week or two. Why am I not writing my blog? What is in the way? Then I ticked off possible explanations. “I’m procrastinating.” Hmmm… Unlike many other periods in my life, procrastination hardly even qualifies as a part of my personality right now. “I’m uninspired.” Definitely not. I’m inspired beyond my wildest dreams by amazing people I get to meet and talk with every day, by the guests on the radio show and the meaningful conversations I get to have, and by my community and family. “I don’t want to write.” Wrong! I love to write and I’m writing other things all the time with great relish.

When the answer hit me over the head, I almost laughed out loud. I was not writing my grief blog because I was experiencing that time after a new loss when I just don’t want to share. I need time to absorb the new reality, to adjust to the changing picture of what I imagined the future to be. I need time to (wait for it) process.

I had not really written since I found out my mother has pancreatic cancer.

When it finally dawned on me that I was simply practicing what I preach and listening to what my own heart told me I needed, I relaxed. And then, respecting that my mother is busy adjusting too, I asked her if she would be ok with me writing about this newest wrinkle in the fabric of my life. “Everyone knows anyway,” she said, bestowing a blessing on whatever I might say about it. (Thanks mom).

So here’s what I want to say. Cancer stinks. I hate the endless doctors appointments and project management, getting all the pieces to work together. I hate waiting in endless waiting rooms with other people who also don’t have the energy to wait for anything. I hate anticipating losing my mother, who I love, in the very foreseeable future. I hate unexpectedly crying in public when there is nothing at all sad going on. I hate that I know how to do all this so well because I’ve done it before for years at a time without a prayer of changing the eventual outcome. I hate that no one has cured cancer yet, including my brilliant son-in-law, a cancer researcher who I honestly think has a chance of it.

But all of this is really so very small. What I love, even now, is so much bigger. I love my mother, who was clear right away that if they offer her 6 months of chemo for 6 months of time, it’s not worth it. I love the conversations we’re having in which we can share our love for one another in a way that is more immediate, and deeper than it was six months ago. I love that the doctors who are caring for my mother ask her about herself as a person before they talk about treatment and, when they run late for her appointment, apologize. (Thank you, Dr. Tempero and her staff). I love that I have all that experience to offer my mother, to ease her burden and help her feel supported and nourished. I love all the hearts on her Caring Bridge page. I love being so deeply in touch, every day, with my love for her and for everyone else in my life, knowing that having them at all is, at best, fleeting. I love pictures of her with my grandsons. I love that there is nothing in me that wants to shy away from the whole experience.

So, I guess we could call this Continuing Education, having taken what sometimes feels like the graduate level course in grief. Lifelong learning for the griever. Showing up for class. Taking notes. Putting one foot in front of the other and stepping into love, because even the hurt tells me how very much I love. How very very much.


Cheryl Jones has been working with people facing loss in their lives for thirty years. She is the host of Good Grief, a weekly radio show on the VoiceAmerica Health and Wellness Channel, about the transformative potential of our losses. You can learn more about her at her website at Weathering Grief.

Thriving Through Recovery from Life Threatening Illness

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Thriving Through Recovery from Life Threatening Illness

RadiantSurvivorCover 229

Show Description

You’ve finally reached the top in your career and you have a life changing event that means you have to start all over. You’re back at square one. You have to learn to speak, to walk, and to do all the normal things of daily living. What do you do? Erica Tucci was at the peak of her career in a Fortune 500 company when she had a stroke that left her completely paralyzed on the right side. As she began to recover she realized more clearly what is truly important in life and she began a new mission—to use her story as an inspiration for others facing life challenges. She wrote the book Radiant Survivor: How to Shine and Thrive through Recovery from Stroke, Cancer, Abuse, Addiction and Other Life-Altering Experiences which launches on November 19. While she is still in her own recovery process, not just surviving but thriving, she is developing a trauma recovery coaching program to help others. This is a story no one should miss.


Guest Bio:

Erica Tucci started out to be a dancer but switched majors and received her a BBA in Management Information Systems from the University of Houston. She has authored two books, started a healing arts business, and was a manager in a Fortune 500 company. In the midst of this whirlwind of activity, she had a stroke that changed every aspect of her life. This story can be found in Erica’s new and third book, Radiant Survivor: How to Shine and Thrive through Recovery from Stroke, Cancer, Abuse, Addiction and Other Life-Altering Experiences, launching on November 19th. Today Erica continues the work she was doing before her stroke, helping women find their “yin radiance” through their authentic voice and their own healing. And to help others going through their own life-altering experiences, she is developing a trauma recovery coaching program based on her Radiant Survivor book.

For more information:

Contact: Irene Conlan
Show Date:  Thursday, November 14, 2013
Show Time: 1 p.m. PST/PDT
Show Title: Thriving Through Recovery from Life Threatening Illness
Guest: Erica Tucci

Visit Erica Tucci’s Website

The Self Improvement Show was created because almost everyone wants to be better, do better, and achieve more, but we don’t always know how to do that. We aren’t looking for perfection. We are simply trying to improve in ways that allow us more happiness, contentment and success with some laughter  along the way. We address issues common to us all and suggest useful tools that will help you tap into your strengths and your wonderful uniqueness. We think most self improvement is an “inside job” so we talk a lot about how to “go within” to make lasting changes. We talk to people who have struggled and won and have great stories to tell as well as those who live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways. The show is laid back, informative and down to earth.  The welcome mat is always out and we invite you to join us. The Self Improvement Show is broadcast live every Thursday at 1 PM Pacific Time on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel. Listen Now!

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