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The Recipe: A Culinary Story of Hope, Wisdom and Redemption – With John David Man

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The Recipe: A Culinary Story of Hope, Wisdom and Redemption – With John David Man


It was a delight to talk with John in a recent episode of my radio show, Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit. He spoke beautifully about the ideas in The Recipe, which he co-authored with Chef Charles Carroll. Their book is so powerful that there will soon be a movie about it. I look forward to seeing it. John began our conversation by building on the ideas I presented in the beginning part of the show by saying people in the United States are losing our civility and brotherhood. The good news is that we do have the ability to transform what is happening in our nation into love. He encouraged everyone to call their elected representatives and voice their opinion. These ideas are very much in keeping with the rules for living presented in The Recipe. To share a few quotes: “Make the world a better place with everything you do;” “Live with honor: treat every person with respect, and never forget who you’re serving;” and “Compose your life: put your effort into controlling the sail, not the wind.” John also shared some wisdom he has gleaned in his own life: have fun; remember, like billiards, what you do impacts other people; and you have a choice as to how you respond even when it is something emotional. He suggests that we stop, take a breath and be larger than the emotion. Through mindfulness, he taught himself to be kind instead of angry. In his current marriage, he follows one of the chef’s rules of the kitchen, “Pay attention to the little things” and brings his wife a cup of tea every morning. And that’s how you spread love. Everything matters. To listen to this show, I encourage you to click here.

Dr. Paula’s Tip of the Week

My Tip from my e-book, 33 Tips for Self-Empowerment is: “Discover Your Creativity. You can reconnect with your Higher Self by discovering what form of creativity gives you joy. Explore writing, dance, music and art. Create just for your own pleasure, self-expression and self-discovery. If you are concerned about people criticizing you, keep your creative explorations to yourself.” Owen, the young boy in The Recipe, accidentally stumbles upon his creative gift; or if you’re looking at it from a spiritual perspective, he was guided to the Chef who helped change his life. As the story unfolds, we learn the source of his gift. The creative expression of his soul helps Owen heal and find purpose, meaning and joy, which is exactly what it can do for all of us.

Dr. Paula’s Silver Lining Story

Recently in my Facebook posts, I have been more outspoken about my concerns over the inhumane treatment of people seeking asylum in the United States, the eroding of civil rights for all US citizens, the disrespect for our environment and animals, and the increasing threat of nuclear war. Many of my posts have been merely to share facts. So many laws are being repealed and so many governmental actions taken that a lot of it is not being reported. When people ask why I’m sharing this information, I say: we must know the truth of what is happening in our own country. Ignorance is not acceptable. We can’t form an opinion if we don’t have the facts. I want to make sure everyone has the facts. Unfortunately we are being distracted by our president’s tweets, arguments and chaos so that people are not getting all of the information. Even if they’re trying, it’s hard to know what is made up. I even heard one program with several journalists discussing whether our president was intentionally lying to us or just didn’t know the truth. That such a question is even being asked is disturbing and reminiscent of Watergate and the impeachment of Richard Nixon. As a result of my new posts, I’ve had some people writing vicious comments about me and what I’m sharing. I responded by saying: “Because of his abusive posts, I blocked Robert from my page and also deleted most of his comments since they were so offensive and angry. I believe in open communication in a civil and respectful manner. When people violate those boundaries, I delete their posts and block them from my page. I do this for all of us who want Facebook to be a safe place to communicate.” My silver lining came in the form of a number of people who thanked me, liked my comment and shared it. One person wrote: “Thank you for being such an example of a kind person with strong boundaries.” This shows me people are getting tired of the verbal violence. We can’t all agree, but we can treat others the way we wish to be treated. We can be civil and communicate with respect and a willingness to hear and be heard.

Marian Stephens’ Story

This week’s episode of Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit featured John David Mann, and he was a font of wisdom and inspiration. His book is a beautiful story that is really a handbook on how to live. Dr. Paula asks listeners how they can turn their anger and frustration into righteous indignation. This is a powerful tool that I am using, and I am beginning to feel my anger dissipate and vanish. I was experiencing an overwhelming bout of anger towards my oldest son, and it came to me that I am just shouting into a void; my anger and words are vanishing into the ether unresolved. I realize what I am grappling with is the loss of my relationship with my son, the loss of my vision and expectations of what motherhood was going to be, and the loss of my dream of who I would be at age 42. How do I come to terms with this? Mr. Mann’s book focuses on how to deal with loss and the anger one feels when trying to do so. Having a mentor is key and finding how to be that mentor for yourself. I am lucky that Dr. Paula is my mentor, and she is teaching me how to be my own. I will turn my anger into righteous indignation by focusing energy on healing myself and taking back control of my life. I am indignant that I have encountered abuse and disease, and I will no longer accept this to be my reality.

John David Mann says that we can transform our nation into a place of love and greatness.  When I heard Mr. Mann say, “loss is a beginning not an ending”, it is the first time I truly believed that this place in life is a place to start. He says that who we are is shaped by the things that happen to us and the things that are happening around us. I have experienced traumatic events and illness that have changed my circumstances significantly. I am using these happenings as a springboard to become more resilient, courageous, and creative. My default emotional state is becoming calm and strong.

John David Mann says everything you do reveals everything you are. If you pay attention to and are purposeful with the little things in life, you will bring about huge change. My husband is so skilled at doing this – he makes our bed every day, keeps our home neat and pleasing, and helps me stay organized. This inspires me to pay careful attention to the smaller details, too, which helps me confront the larger problems I face with bravery and a calm mind and heart. Mr. Mann says that making little gestures and taking time to discover new things about your partner everyday will help prevent entropy from taking hold of your relationship. My husband and I focus our energy on doing this daily, and I am grateful to hear that we are on the right track.

John David Mann speaks beautifully about relationships and how to have productive disagreements. Simply take a deep breath and make a choice when confronting opposition that is not anger based. My life coaching sessions with Dr. Paula are teaching me how to do exactly this. I am finding the wherewithal to take a breath and let my often momentary anger and frustration disperse before speaking or engaging in an argument. This episode reinforces the fact that we have no control over the people and events that surround us, but we do have complete control over how we handle ourselves. I have believed this to be true for some time, but I am now putting it into practice constantly, and it is improving everything.

Dr. Paula’s Coaching Response

Marian, I can tell how deeply John’s ideas resonated with you. He clearly has chosen to take his life in his own hands, make deep changes, learn how to create a loving and harmonious relationship, and live a life of meaning and joy. When someone makes that kind of commitment, they become a shining example.  

We are all here on the earth plane to learn and grow. Some of us have harder lessons than others in this incarnation. I find comfort in my belief that I chose this path before I came to earth. When I accept responsibility for my choices, not blame, but responsibility, it changes everything because if I’m responsible for my responses to what has happened to me, I also have the ability to make new choices and change the quality of my life. I applaud you for taking responsibility and choosing to grow and heal.

I want to remind you of the 2 mantras/affirmations that I use every day to help me through the difficult times and to bring more love and peace into my day:

  • I say these 2 sentences for 3 minutes silently over and over again every morning:

I am love as I am loved.

All is love as all is loved.

  • I say this one over and over again for as long as I need it at any time of the day or night:

Peace in my mind

Peace in my body

Peace in my spirit

Peace in my soul

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To learn more about my unique process that removes hidden blockages, helps you solve your most challenging problems, and achieve success with ease and speed, sign up for my newsletter and receive the chapter as my gift: sign up here


Dr. Paula, The Life Doctor, has helped hundreds of thousands of people improve their health, wealth and relationships through her writing, coaching, and speaking. Contact her today to get started on your personal journey. Recently Dr. Paula Joyce, PhD was chosen by Expertise as one of the 16 Best Life Coaches in Dallas.

Cell: (214) 208-3533

Email:  paula@paulajoyce.com

To learn more about Dr. Paula, please visit her website at www.paulajoyce.com.

To hear more shows from Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit, please click here.


A Way To God: Creation Spirituality by Paula Joyce

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7th Wave

matthew fox

Do you remember the excitement of opening a Cracker Jack Box and finding your special gift hidden inside? That was the same feeling I had when I opened the email asking me if I wanted to have Matthew Fox on my radio show. I’m very grateful to have so many of the people on my show who helped formulate who I am, what I believe and how I live my life. I still remember the feeling of holding Matthew Fox’s books in my hands with my yellow highlighter at the ready to ensure that I absorbed everything I needed. He was my mentor, my teacher, my guide even though we had not met. Now, as I read again about Creation Spirituality, I understand what an amazing teacher he truly is. You can see the ideas I learned from him reflected in every show through my writings, silver lining stories, upcoming seminars, my guests, their ideas and our conversations. What a blessing to welcome Matthew Fox to my show. Please join us Thursday 6/16 for a rare treat as he discusses A Way To God.


The Silver Linings in Anger and Grief

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7th Wave
The Silver Linings in Anger and Grief


Today’s silver lining story is about anger. Some of you may be puzzled by that statement. I urge you to stay with me and listen closely. Those of you who have been listening on a regular basis know that I’ve been working on healing some indigestion that goes away and then re-emerges as I reach deeper levels of healing. Just before my acupuncture session on Tuesday, I got a reminder call about a dental appointment, which was an hour earlier than I had written down. This triggered some deep anger because the appointment was for a redo on a crown. Although there was no additional charge to me, it did cost me time, energy and emotional strain when my reserves were low.

The synchronicity of the reminder call was the first silver lining because it led me to ask my acupuncturist if the indigestion was related to anger. His response was a strong yes. Previously he had said that it was caused by childhood stress, but anger was a lot more specific. Having grown up with abuse, I had a lot of suppressed anxiety and anger. As a child, there was no safe way to express those feelings, so I ignored them. I continued this pattern into adulthood. By then I had convinced myself that I was a good person if I kept quiet, forgave others, looked for the good in them and didn’t hurt their feelings. This kind of thinking and behavior was affecting my health. When Dr. Chen inserted his needles, I felt the pain as the needles gave the negative energies of anxiety and anger a way to leave my body. People often ask if acupuncture hurts. The truth is that the pain is already in my body. If it doesn’t have a way to escape, it will continue to cause pain and dis-ease in my body. I’d rather feel the momentary pain of the release than have ongoing damage happening under the surface.

Later that afternoon, I went to my nutritional chiropractor to get some supplements to help me with the detoxing. When he asked how I was, I said angry and it felt awful. His response was my second silver lining. He said how refreshing it was for someone to tell the truth and not just say “fine”. It prompted him to share something he was going through, which led to us agreeing that honesty opened the door to authentic human connection and compassion. It was confirmation that being real allows others to be real and receive support. We don’t have to wear the false masks that we think we do.

I was working hard to let go of this anger. I used many of the techniques I teach: I prayed to my guides and angels, I breathed in blue light, I meditated, I put my negative thoughts into the violet light above my head. Still I had trouble sleeping and finding peace. When I was at my appointment, I found myself telling the receptionist, I’m upset and have to talk with the dentist. With genuine kindness, she offered water. By the time I saw the dentist, my anger was subsiding because I was empowering myself to say what was bothering me. The gift of that awareness was another silver lining. I knew the redo was not caused by negligence. He really is a very fine dentist. In fact everyone in his office is highly competent and exceedingly easy to work with. That didn’t change the fact that I was being inconvenienced in this process and that dentistry holds far too many negative memories for me. Next week, I might have responded with total peace in the same situation or a similar one, but today because of where I am in my healing, it was important for me to speak up. The next silver lining really surprised me. He listened with complete openness. Feeling his kindness and compassion, created an amazing healing within me. I felt years of anger draining from my body. Then I felt the sadness underneath the anger. That, too, moved out as the day went on, making room for joy and peace.

With what is going on in the world right now, I wanted to share this piece that I wrote after a mass shooting in 1999.

In Memory

And when I turned around, I felt like screaming. Surely the world has gone mad. No one is safe anymore. I felt this uncontrollable rage at the injustice, the randomness. I turned around, and I wanted to scream at you. Yet you have done nothing to deserve my anger. You are just here, and the shooter is dead along with his victims.

Truth—stranger than fiction. I couldn’t possibly write a story to rival the one that unfolded tonight. Nothing could be more bizarre, more surreal. The heart and head of this country are disconnected and disheartened bodies are leading us down some path of doom.

I turned around and saw blood everywhere. Violence is rampant. No one is safe. No place is safe. I am afraid to go out but home is no safer. Locks can’t keep the rage, the fear, the violence at bay.

I turned around and I wanted to grab my children, my husband and run. But there is nowhere to run. There is no place to hide.

I turned around and felt God watching.

I turned around and saw no end to this. I turned around and saw more and more mass destruction. I turned around and wondered how much more can we bear—individually, collectively. I turned around and wondered when would we implode?

Then I turned around once more and saw green pastures, children laughing, playing, spinning—totally oblivious to the cruelty and insanity in the world—or maybe they know something we have forgotten.

I turned around, and I saw hope.

The loss of a child can send some people into a downward spiral. Mark Ireland used the loss of his son to find his truth path in life, discover proof of the afterlife and help other parents heal from deep grief. He does this through psychic-mediumship and his organization, www.helpingparentsheal.info. Even the most unthinkable experience can be used to provide hope and healing.

How are you going to use your life experiences to find hope and healing?

Be Limitless: Breaking Down Mind Barriers

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7th Wave
Be Limitless: Breaking Down Mind Barriers

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We all think we understand our mind, but what if we don’t? What if we are much more than we think we are? We’ve all heard the concept that we only use 10% of our brain. But what does that mean? What’s the other 90% and how do we access it? Well, it’s actually the most powerful part of our mind, the part that can help us feel and know that we are always connected to each other, to our limitless self, to the spiritual realm, to details of our past and future, to the wisdom of the ages, and even to creativity.

As you understand the full scope of your mind, everything changes. Fears and worries, self-doubt, guilt, blame and shame begin to disappear. They become replaced with hope, compassion, love, improved health, peace and happiness. You will even see your past differently and the silver linings in every experience will become apparent.

Listen as we explore new dimensions of our own mind and learn how we are more than we think we are!

Tune in every Thursday at 8am PST to Uplift Your Life: Nourishment of the Spirit

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