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Creativity

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Empowerment
Creativity

Creativity

Human beings by nature are creative. We have however, recorded everything that has happened in our past and linked it to our creative process, leading us to erroneously form the point of view that the creative process itself is a function of our struggling, our painful past or our “neurosis.” And if we were to lose that neurosis, our mind thinks that our artistic abilities would be lost as well.

A woman once attended one of our seminars and balked at the idea of letting go of her emotional pain. The sudden loss of her husband had been a major turning point in her life. The time following his death was extremely painful, sad and yet creative, too. Thrust by unfortunate circumstance into a completely different life, the new widow found herself surprisingly capable, increasingly directed and vitally alive. A year later, she was still nurturing the pain and sadness as well as her new found sense of herself. She was afraid, she explained, that if she let go of the pain, anger and sadness she would lose what she had gained in the past year. The shocking loss and ensuing pain had acted as a catalytic agent which sparked her creativity. Her mind then stored all aspects of this time period, and compressed them into a single strategy for success. As we coached her to look, she discovered she was now ready and willing to have the creativity without the pain.

With awareness, you can melt the aspects of your way of being that do not truly produce the results you want, in effect distilling the creative process. No longer does the word “struggling” have to be linked to artist. No longer do pain and neurosis have to be the companion to creativity.

Our creativity is inhibited by past decisions that we have made about our own ability to create. Let’s say, for instance, while growing up, you were not a very good writer of book reports in school. Perhaps one day you got a report back and written on it was a bright red “D” with the words, “Below Average!” The mind records the physical sensations that accompany the grade and also a statement that goes something like, “I am not very good at writing. I am Below Average!”. This statement is available to play back every time you write a new document. The statement may have been true when you were in grammar school, but it may not be true for the adult person that you have become. The problem is that every time you sit down to create something, that recording of, “I am not very good at writing. I am Below Average”, can jump forward between you and the blank page.

Another thing that hinders the creative process is our own internal self-governor or critic. Looking over something you have written, for instance and evaluating it for merit, syntax, grammar, spelling, etc. is obviously a useful thing to do, but timing is everything. Many people apply the process of judging and evaluating their work as they go. This blocks the flow, stops continuity and does not allow for ideas to complete themselves because the sentence, paragraph or idea is being amended even as it is coming into being.

Webster’s dictionary defines “create” as: to cause to come into existence; bring into being; make; originate. Whether you are an artist, working with your hands, applying paint to canvas, writing music or standing on a stage and bringing a character to life it is important to include one detail. The creative process is like the gestation period for a child which one hopes will be born in good health. A little bit of poison can go a long way towards altering the health of the child. Our self-judgments act like poison. If you want to expand your ability to be creative, practice the art of being kind to yourself. Contrary to what some believe, being self critical and hard on yourself does not lead to better quality work. If you are not vigorously chastising mistakes you will not suddenly become complacent and let your work slide. Rather you may find yourself encouraged to take bigger risks and watch as what seems to be a mistake to the judgmental mind turns into something shiny and new that was never even conceived of before.

When one truly creates, one stands in the moment and interacts directly with his or her environment. Not through the filter of thought. Not through one’s personal history. It is a direct expression of the being.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

Greener Pastures, an excerpt from Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work

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Empowerment
Greener Pastures, an excerpt from Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work

Once we saw a goat put out to graze in a lush field. The grass was high and feeding was plentiful. But the goat wasn’t satisfied. It made a funny picture as it strained toward the field next door. Its front legs were suspended midair, dangling over the fence as it vainly reached for a tempting bit of green just out of reach. Of course the grass wasn’t any richer or higher or more succulent in the next pasture, but try telling that to the goat.

What pastures are you straining after? Most people are strenuously reaching toward what they think will make them happy or satisfied, straining toward something more, better, or different. The problem with this is that there is always something else that needs to be bought or produced in order for you to be happy or satisfied. Truthfully, in this moment, you can only have what you have. Anything you yearn for robs you of the possibility of reveling in the richness of your life.

People get so driven by where they are going that they miss their lives. You may actually be rushing ahead to finish this book, trying to answer some question or fulfill some agenda. While you are trying so hard to get something from the writing, you are not actually there for the reading.

Many of us live our lives as if we are looking through a telephoto lens on a camera. A telephoto lens focuses in on an object in the distance and excludes everything peripheral to that object. So you miss everything happening around you. Instantaneous Transformation is more like a wide-angle lens. It holds everything in focus whether it is close up or far away, and there is three-dimensionality and depth to what you see. The telephoto lens, on the other hand, makes things much more two-dimensional or fl at; you lose the depth of fi eld. When people are lost in a change modality, they feel annoyed when things “intrude” and interrupt their flow toward where they are headed. In a transformational approach, life becomes a dance of noticing what is rather than a tense experience of trying to exclude everything that does not seem on track to producing the things we think we want in the future to make us happy or fulfilled.

Working on Yourself Doesn't Work by Ariel & Shya KaneIt could be said that life is an unfolding, moment to moment, and we have preferences that frequently disagree with how life unfolds, because we are trying to get somewhere rather than be where we are. We think something better is going to come along because this isn’t it, when in fact this moment is all there is. This moment IS it.

People are so busy worrying about what they don’t have or how it is going to turn out in the future, they rarely allow themselves to really relish and enjoy the way things are right now. Life becomes a worry about what isn’t, rather than a celebration of what is. For if we, like the goat, invest our energy only in wanting what we don’t have and lusting after tantalizing goals currently out of reach, satisfaction is set aside for a mythical someday that never comes.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Footprints in the Sand

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Empowerment
Footprints in the Sand

Footprints in the Sand

For several years Shya and I travelled down to Great Harbor Cay, on the Berry Islands in the Bahamas. We traditionally rented a little condo on this small sparsely populated island with windows facing east overlooking the ocean – a beautiful place to watch the sunrise to be sure. On many mornings, I went for a walk on the beautiful sandy beach. The shore is long enough that I could easily go for 45 minutes in either direction, enjoying the lap of the waves while keeping a sharp eye out for treasures that the sea had dropped on the sand overnight. This little beach is its own world, one where “rush hour” happened when I occasionally saw another human being – perhaps two. While this stretch of sand is sparsely populated I still was not the only Beachcomber. Sometimes when walking along the beach I followed the tracks of a fellow explorer, noticing where he or she had veered left or right to investigate an interesting-looking tangle of sea grass that had been deposited by the waves upon the shore.

I must admit I really prefer being first to cross the virgin sand after it has been smoothed by the receding tide. When I have come upon the tracks of someone who has come before me, it spurs the notion that I have fallen behind somehow, that I am too late, that everything of note to be discovered has already been found.

One morning, Shya and I stepped out our door and debated briefly whether to turn left or right. He, fly rod in hand, me wearing my light cotton tee with a kangaroo pouch on the front ready to tuck away little treasures. I was also wearing my small belly-pack, complete with water bottle, tissues and more room for seashells inside. Everything a gal needs for a trek down the beach.

We decided to go left, toward the point where the sea wraps around, often leaving interesting shells. It is also where small fish, mainly schools of jacks and pompano, chase baitfish and are likely to take Shya’s fly.

As we walked along we saw a needlefish, a long toothy creature, cruising the shallows. Farther out, shoals of tiny minnows jumped, silver waves fanning out, cascading back into the slick water as they tried to evade a predator below. Occasionally little sandpipers bobbed and weaved their way up and down the gentle rise of sand in search of edibles too tiny for our human eyes to see.

As we walked in the wavelets, Shya’s gaze was pinned on the water as he scanned for the silhouettes of fish, ready to cast the fly, my attention kept being pulled to a flash of light or a daub of color as seashells winked at me in the morning sun. It was a leisurely adventure, not really going anywhere even though our feet were taking us toward that point of land in the distance. When a small school of jacks came hunting, we both caught and released several as we took turns enticing them to eat our imitation shrimp fly.

Eventually we came to the point and Shya waded out down a long sand bar to see if he could catch one of the larger predator fish cruising the water on either side of the underwater spit of sand. I, on the other hand, rounded the corner and ranged up the beach to see what seashells had been left by the ocean overnight. But to my surprise, instead of an unblemished surface, I found footprints in the sand.

Oh no! I immediately thought. Someone was here before me. From nowhere my leisurely morning’s mood disappeared and my competitive nature surged forward, activating those niggling insecurities that whispered: You’re behind. You missed your shot. You’ve lost out.

Prompted by those thoughts, my steps quickened, heart thumped and breath hitched. How could they have gotten here before me? Shya and I came out to the beach virtually at first light.

Scanning ahead, I saw how the trail zigged and zagged and I began to follow it. Several yards down the beach, as I took a step, I noticed that the footprints I was leaving in my wake looked suspiciously the same size as those I was following. I stopped in my tracks. Actually I stopped next to my tracks also and I tipped my head back and laughed. I finally realized that the person I’d been competing with was actually the ghost of myself, for I had come this way the night before. As I looked, it became clear that high tide the night before had not come up far enough to obliterate my prints from yesterday’s beach adventure. I smiled to myself, reminded of Winnie-The-Pooh where Piglet and Pooh follow their own tracks as they circled around the same tree again and again.

Relaxed once again, my eye returned to seeing the wonders in front of me. My attention was no longer turned inward upon perceived failings, and I was no longer subjected to that automatic self-defeating mental diatribe. My stride evened out and I enjoyed the movement of my legs, the textures under my bare feet as I turned around and begin walking back toward Shya.

Suddenly I caught sight of a delicate seashell standing in the fresh sand looking like a pair of butterfly wings poised for flight. Opalescent interior in pearl, aqua and pink contrasted with the darker outside. The outer edges were not smooth but adorned with many points, feathered fingers that would interlace when closed, currently reaching toward the sky. Gently I collected the shell, wrapped it in a tissue and tucked it in my pouch for the walk back to the little bungalow where we were staying.

As my feet found their rhythm, I quietly mused about how odd the notion was that I had missed an opportunity, that I was somehow “behind.” For I had just discovered not only a delicate treasure released by the sea, but the far greater wealth-of-being that happens when I let go of the reflex to get ahead, allowing myself the luxury to be right where I am instead.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

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Empowerment
Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

By Ariel & Shya Kane

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

We have a client who asked us how she can improve her relationship with time and accomplish the things she wants to do in her life – work, projects in her apartment, errands and creative projects, as well as socializing – without feeling that she is wasting or running out of time. These are five suggestions we offered that supported her, and will support you, in easily and effortlessly managing your time and being effective and productive in your life.

1. There is time for everything that needs to be done…and there will always be things left to do.

What are you devoting your time to each day? We bet you think about what you want to do and whether or not you like the tasks at hand. Hint: Thinking about whether you want to do something or not is just a waste of time. Thinking about whether you like it or not is also a waste of time. Many people drag their feet going about what they are going to do anyway and then get no satisfaction from the activities they engage in as a result. A whole-hearted engagement in whatever you are doing will bring with it satisfaction as a by-product. And at the end of the day, there will always be more to do than can be done. We are often delighted by what we accomplish in a day and respectful of the fact that “tomorrow is another day” and that we will be rested and rejuvenated to begin again.

2. Honesty is key.

If you actually want to take control of your relationship with time, don’t tell yourself that you are going to do something that you have no intention of doing. There are things that you don’t want to do that you tell yourself that you “should” do. There are also things that you pretend to want to do that you don’t actually plan on doing or want to do at all.

For example, many times people have the idea that they would be better if…they lose weight, balance their checkbooks, exercise more, do creative things, etc. But that doesn’t mean that they are actually going to do any of those things. This list is simply something held in reserve so that you never give yourself a break and as a constant reminder that you need to change or fix something about yourself. This list is comprised of things that are not actually “in the works,” they are things that you are resisting doing – and by now anyone who is familiar with our approach knows that: What you resist persists, grows stronger, takes longer (or never gets done) and dominates your life. As an alternative, try this:

When you are hanging out – do that.
When you are doing a project – do that.

If you want to have control in your life, then do what you are doing in the current moment, rather than think about what you ought to be doing. Otherwise there is no actual rest because when you are doing nothing you think you should be doing something. If you actually rest then you are likely to find yourself energized to do things rather than talking to yourself about doing them.

3. Procrastination is a sophisticated word for “no”.
Don’t fix it – pay attention.

There is a false idea about independence that was formed in most of our minds around age two when we realized that we could disagree or say “no.” According to this immature notion we think that we are being independent by saying no to anything we are asked to do. In fact, for many of us, we registered in our undeveloped minds that we were powerful, got attention and had the world chasing us around, by doing the opposite of what was asked for and “Poof,” a life strategy is born. Over time we sophisticate this “no” to requests made of us and then when we say no to our own desires, we call it “procrastination”.

You don’t have to make a resolution to stop procrastinating – simply bring awareness to how often you say “no” to yourself and to all of the requests made upon you by life. When your bed is unmade, for instance, it is as if there is a request for you to make it, or to do the dishes, or answer the phone. Become aware of the resistance, hesitation, “don’t wannas” and see how often this is a part of your daily internal conversation. “No” is not a bad thing. It just is. With awareness (a non-judgmental seeing or noticing of how you operate) you can see what YOU want to do rather than be dictated by the life strategy of a two-year-old.

4. What is your current way of relating to time saving you from?

Often “problems” are solutions in disguise. Procrastination may actually be saving you from something you consider confronting or acting as a buffer between you and possible rejection, for instance. For example, you may say that you want more time to “socialize.” It is possible that the endless list of to-dos can keep you from having to get up online on a dating site or get out there and date. Or perhaps you have a creative project on your desk. Then day-to-day minutia that seems to eat your time each day can save you from having to get started. Right now, your incompletions define your life. If you lost them, you wouldn’t know who you are. Your comfort zone INCLUDES all of the things that you find uncomfortable. If you had no problems, nothing wrong, nothing that is holding you back…hmmm…then what?

5. Start small… and keep going.

You don’t have to look far to shift from a conversation about your life to living it in real time. Just lift your eyes from this article and look around. We bet you will see something to be done or something that begs for attention. You don’t have to do something big, start small: Bring a cup to the sink, dust a surface, make that call, file that item…and then keep going. Direct action, direct result. No problem. Complete those things in your life that are incomplete such as projects or organizing your closet. A simple way to approach many things is to repair or get rid of anything that is broken or have it fixed. Stop putting off what you know you are going to do anyway – like Nike says – Just do it!

Join Ariel & Shya for Transformational Time & Project Management in NYC

Dates: Saturday & Sunday, April 28 & 29, 2018
Time: 9:45am – 6pm both days
Fee: $649 (partial scholarships available)
Location: Skyline Hotel, 725 Tenth Ave. at 49th Street, Penthouse Ballroom, NYC

REGISTER

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Confidence, Self-esteemListening Your Way to the Moment By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Confidence, Self-esteemListening Your Way to the Moment By Ariel & Shya Kane

Listening Your Way to the Moment
An excerpt from Working on Yourself Doesn’t Work
by Ariel & Shya Kane

One way to access the moment is to truly hear what others are saying. If you listen newly to each individual conversation, the act of listening can shift your life instantaneously. It does this by pulling you into the moment. And the moment is magic. Transformation happens when one gets into the current moment of now. Here is an example:

A man named Cecil was walking down Second Avenue in Manhattan one Monday evening and noticed our poster announcing an Instantaneous Transformation evening seminar. Intrigued, he came in and joined us. A rather private man, Cecil sat quietly toward the back of the room. Over the course of the evening different people stood and spoke about what was happening in their lives. One of these was a man in his early sixties, Glenn, who asked a question about the Second Principle of Instantaneous Transformation. We will present the Three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation in depth in the chapters ahead, but let us just say here that we were discussing how you can only physically be where you are in any given moment.

During this conversation we talked about how no two things can occupy the same space at the same time; in other words, no two people could be seated in the exact same chair at the exact same moment. In fact, from moment to moment, you can only be where you are and how you are. This includes your body sensations, emotions, thoughts, feelings, and life circumstances. (Again, this is the Second Principle of Instantaneous Transformation.) As the discussion continued, we talked with Glenn about how he could only be standing and having this conversation with us in that moment. He might have the thought he could be in Hawaii, for instance, but in reality he was in New York City. Cecil heard the discussion and had a direct experience of the truth of it.

One week later, Cecil returned. And here is what he had to say: “Hello, Ariel and Shya. Hello, everyone, my name is Cecil and I didn’t speak last week but I listened and something remarkable has happened. I feel so free – free in a way that I never felt before. Let me explain: I come from South Africa, and two years ago my mother fell ill and she died and I was unable to be with her. I have had such tremendous guilt, such heaviness and pain. Every day I was so hard on myself that I wasn’t there to hold her hand at the time of her passing. I had been berating myself for two years. Suddenly, I heard something you said to Glenn. I simply realized that I could not have been there when my mother died for no other reason than the fact that I wasn’t. It wasn’t good; it wasn’t bad. It just was the truth. I don’t know why or how this happened, but the heavy burden spontaneously lifted. I am no longer plagued by guilt. It happened in an instant. I don’t understand it, but I guess I don’t have to. I am very, very grateful.”

If you truly listen to what somebody is saying, not by comparing what he or she is saying to what you already know or agreeing or disagreeing with what is being said, but if you are listening to hear it from the other point of view, this act of listening is enough to pull you into the moment. However, you have an incredibly facile mind. You can race ahead in your thoughts and finish another person’s sentence before he or she gets to the point. Or you can take exception to a word he or she uses and stop listening altogether. If you pay attention, you will see that there are many times when you have an internal commentary on what is being said rather than just listening. If you can train yourself to hear what is being said, from the speaker’s point of view, it takes you outside of time and into the current moment. This is a magical space where, once accessed, the by-product is Instantaneous Transformation.

True Listening is actively listening
to another with the intention of hearing
what is being said from the other’s point of view.

The act of listening pulls you into the moment, and the moment is where transformation happens. Transformation is not something that happens in the future; it only happens in the present moment of now. Being fully engaged in an activity pulls you into the moment, which sets the stage for transformation. In the case of this book, we suggest reading without adding anything, such as applying it to your life while reading, agreeing or disagreeing with what is being said, or commenting to yourself as you go. The act of reading will then be akin to truly listening, and it will access the moment, thus creating the possibility of Instantaneous Transformation.

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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Rest! You’ll be More Productive By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Rest! You’ll be More Productive By Ariel & Shya Kane

Do you ever think that resting is an indulgence? We’re all so driven to get somewhere we think if we take a break, we’ll fall behind. Take that break. Join Ariel & Shya Kane for this rejuvenating episode – disengage from your “projects” and discover the magic of Being Here!

Listen Live this Wednesday, August 30th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show/

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show-archives/

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:

Podcasts app for iPhone

Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device

VoiceAmerica app for Apple

VoiceAmerica app for Android

Everyday Well-being and Happiness By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Everyday Well-being and Happiness By Ariel & Shya Kane

We’ve all experienced fleeting moments of happiness and well-being. Tune into Being Here and discover how to have well-being and happiness in your life with consistency. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141!

Listen Live this Wednesday, June 26th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show/

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show-archives/

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:

– Podcasts app for iPhone

– Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device

– VoiceAmerica app for Apple   

– VoiceAmerica app for Android

Drama is Optional By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Drama is Optional By Ariel & Shya Kane

June 21: Drama is Optional You have been pre-programmed to get upset and emotional when things don’t go your way. What if all the drama in your life is of your own making? Challenging situations don’t have to result in suffering but when you say “No!” to how your life is unfolding, you create a life full of pain. Join Ariel and Shya in Being Here and realize that Drama is Optional. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141 Listen Live this Wednesday, June 21st at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show-archives/ You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:

Podcasts app for iPhone

Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device

VoiceAmerica app for Apple 

VoiceAmerica app for Android

Oh NO! Here I Go Again! By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Empowerment
Oh NO! Here I Go Again! By Ariel & Shya Kane

June 7: Oh NO! Here I Go Again! It’s natural to think “Oh NO!” when you recognize that you are getting upset. Being upset is not a flaw or failing. However, when you simply see yourself without judgement, upsets can dissolve in an instant. Tune in to this enlightening episode of Being Here and watch those upsets go “Poof!” Callers welcome at Tel# 1-888-346-9141! Listen Live this Wednesday, June 7th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica Empowerment Channel: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show/ After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here: http://www.transformationmadeeasy.com/being-here-radio-show-archives/ You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:

– Podcasts app for iPhone

Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device

VoiceAmerica app for Apple 

VoiceAmerica app for Android

Being Stress-Free is Simple By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Being Stress-Free is Simple By Ariel & Shya Kane

Being Stress-Free is Simple, an excerpt from Practical Enlightenment
By Ariel & Shya Kane

People are born into cultures that have stress as an expected component to the gestalt of the culture itself, so it is part of their cultural download. While many people do things to reduce stress, such as yoga, meditation or exercise, most of them never stop to take a look at the mechanics of how it is produced. For those who do question what produces stress, the answer they come up with is usually inaccurate as it points to circumstances outside of oneself as the cause.

Experiencing stress in day-to-day life is not caused by circumstances. Stress happens when you say “no” to what is happening in your current circumstances. For instance, if you are in the midst of doing something and the phone rings and you think of it as an interruption or intrusion, you will immediately feel stressed. Stress also comes from the need to be right that things should be different than they are. In the previous example, you are right that the phone shouldn’t be ringing and that the caller is disturbing you. Stress happens when you think the moment isn’t perfect as it is. It happens when you are trying to get somewhere rather than be where you are, as if getting somewhere is better than being here. It happens when you manipulate the circumstances to get what you think you want. Stress also happens when you are not being honest about something – when you are doing things that are outside of your own integrity.

There are three simple ideas that are a great support structure, that allow you to re-center yourself when you find yourself stressed or when life seems to be operating against you. We call them The three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation. Why we call them “instantaneous” is that in the moment you identify where you are without judging yourself, you are already back centered – in an instant. It doesn’t take time. It takes the willingness to discover where you are and how you are being, while giving up being right about what got you there. It takes giving up blaming yourself or others. The three principles are great tools that allow you to regain your equilibrium when you find yourself stressed.
Let’s define these three principles and talk about them in relationship to stress.

The First Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
What you resist persists and grows stronger.

Resisting a situation is like exercising a muscle because resistance makes a muscle stronger. It also makes unwanted situations, emotions, or conditions stronger. In effect, the act of resisting something keeps it in place. When you resist something you have to push against it. And when you push against it, you get stuck to it so you can’t let it go. Not wanting something to be the way it is, wishing things were different, trying to “get over” something, are all forms of resistance. They are also versions of saying No to the way your life is unfolding.

The Second Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
No two things can occupy the same you at the same time.

When you are focused on something, everything else falls away. For example, we were once walking down a hill when we came upon a thorny rose bush that extended over the sidewalk. We paid attention as we walked past it so we wouldn’t get snagged. On our return trip up the hill, we noticed that on the road, right in front of that rose bush was a large truck with a horse trailer attached. We hadn’t noticed it on the way down the hill and by the amount of pollen that had gathered on the windshield, it was clear that it had been parked there for some time. Earlier, when we were consumed with the bush, we didn’t see the truck and trailer even though it was so close we could have reached out and touched it. And so it is with stress. Sometimes people are so consumed with stressors, they miss the rest of the world even though it is within reach.

The Third Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
Anything you allow to be, allows you to be.

Let’s go back to the first principle: Anything you resist persists and grows stronger. If you remove your focus from what you don’t like, don’t want or wish to be different and bring your attention neutrally back to what’s in front of you, in that instant you’re free. Stress-free. Yup, it’s that simple. If you want to be “right” about someone else being “wrong,” then guess what? You get stress, stress and more stress and in truth, you are stressing yourself. Being stress-free is as simple as being where you are without disagreeing with your life circumstances, or saying “no” when life does not meet your preferences.

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Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

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