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Elaine Rosenblum Head Shot

How can you negotiate better, improve your self-presentation skills, and prevent misunderstandings that may emerge from e-communications, such as texting and emailing? Elaine Rosenblum, JD, an expert in COLLABORATIVE COMMUNICATION, joined me on “Turn the Page” to share tactics that will enable you to open doors through your written and spoken words.

Listen to our conversation to hear the full range of her suggestions and illustrations.

Elaine states, “To avoid potential miscommunication, SPECIFICITY is as important as shifting from judgmental to neutral language, especially in texting or emailing people you don’t know well, or in professional interactions.”

She provides two examples:

Elaine suggests to Michael: Instead of  “I think I have the skills to do this job,” let your interviewers know, “I am an Emory MBA with four years of beverage marketing experience at Coca Cola and Starbucks. I can conduct business in English, French and Spanish.”

“Young people interviewing for first jobs typically only have internship experience and minimal workplace skills. It’s imperative for recent or soon-to-be grads to understand “transferable skills” and articulate what makes them uniquely interesting. This Indiana student was a poker prodigy at nine. Few college juniors can own this proposition. Poker also has transferable skills to Wall Street. The Goldman feedback was that telling an engaging “story” about his “poker gift” is what set him apart and landed him the “long-shot” position.  Even seasoned executives have to work to maintain their specificity when articulating.”

“Using “them,” “it,” or “that” as reference points in texting may not provide adequate context. While it takes more actual texting words, directly stating time and place or redefining who “them” or what “it” or “that” is can prevent misunderstandings.”

Elaine offers three examples:
Revise “What time are you meeting them?” to “What time are you meeting Susie and Tom tonight?”

Change “What’s bothering you about the erupting situation?” to “What exactly concerns you about the disagreement between Susie and Tom that seemed to arise at the party on Saturday night?”

Instead of “Do you plan to do that?” state “Do you plan to attend the 7:00 pm San Francisco trip meeting on Tuesday, 4/3?”

“While verbal communication typically evaporates after we say it, written communications survive and can serve as meaningful reference points. Communicating with clarity is a leadership skill and way of standing out in a professional world that demands immediate communication and moves too quickly. In personal relationships, SPECIFICITY builds invaluable trust and enhances the bonding that we crave and continually seek out on social media.”

In emphasizing how we can communicate to avoid unnecessary conflict and strengthen interpersonal connections, Elaine suggests that we avoid OVERRELYING on the written word: “The emotional satisfaction of a face-to-face conversation is difficult to replicate on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat.”

Improve your outcomes by going deeper in honing your collaborative communication skills. Elaine recommends: “Getting to Yes” by Roger Fisher and William Uri; “Alone Together” by Sherry Turkle; and the ProForm U™ blog by Elaine Rosenblum.

Learn about ProFormU™, Elaine’s consulting and mentoring firm, which “teaches students and professionals at all levels to articulate, collaborate and negotiate in virtually any setting.”

While we focused on the tactic of specificity in this post, Elaine shares other requirements and nuances of collaborative communication in our conversation on “Turn the Page.” Here’s the link for you to listen now.

Your Book is your Skyrocket for Success! by Luis Vicente Garcia

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Your Book is your Skyrocket for Success! by Luis Vicente Garcia

What is the importance behind a story?
And if it is your story, how valuable is it?

As successful people and professionals we have had an incredible ride, one with its ups and downs; peaks and valleys which result in many lessons learned and new experiences along the way.

A story, YOUR STORY matters to you and to all.

And this is what today show’s guest Viki Winterton has done over 25 years: helping many people sharing their stories.

Viki is the founder of Expert Insights Publishing and she has helped thousands of people become best-selling authors but more importantly, sharing their personal stories in a way that not only matters but also influences and motivates many others. This is why your story and your book can skyrocket you for success.

Join me in this very interesting program as you find out how to share your amazing story while becoming a best-selling author along the way.

Luis Vicente Garcia with Viki Winterton

My books with Viki and EIP:

I met Viki in 2012 as I became part of one of the books in the series Ready, Aim!. My first book with her and her incredible team was ‘Ready, Aim, Influence!’ (2013). Being a co-author with the likes of Marshall Goldsmith, Carlos Slim, and Viki herself has proven to be an amazing experience.

Since then I have also participated in other amazing books such as ‘Ready, Aim, Inspire! (2014)’ with Joe Vitale; ‘Voyage to Your Vision’ (2015) with Marcia Weider, and more recently in a new series called ‘My Creative Thoughts’ (2015) and the up coming book ‘My Creative Idea’, scheduled to be published in September 2016.

About Viki WInterton

Viki Winterton is founder of Expert Insights Publishing, home of best-selling and award winning books and magazines, where visionaries and those on the rise come together to create immediate impact.

Expert Insights Publishing is built on the solid foundation of over 25 years of expertise in promotion, publishing, product development, networking, and success. Fortune 100 companies and individuals across the globe know Viki for fostering powerful and loyal relationships and supporting her communities in wildly creative, unique, and wonderful ways.

Viki is also a multiple #1 International Best-Selling Author and Award-Winning Publisher, founder of Bestselling Authors International Organization, Write Now! broadcast and Write Away, Write Now!, the global community where writers find everything they need at each stage of their journey.

To contact Viki and EIP pleae visit: www.getei.com

Change Your Smile and Change your Life?

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Too many ideas came to mind when I wrote the name for this radio show. – Change Your Smile and Change your Life? – From Smiling to Success? – Smile for Success? Every single title is very appropriate for the subject we cover in this positive show as it is all in our Mindset, our Positive Attitude. I met Dr. Tomas Seif over 30 years ago. Yes he is a dentist and also an entrepreneur. How do you go from learning one skill at the university to leading an entire organization of professionals and having success along the way? By doing what you are passionate about. Understanding that your attitude is a key determinant of your entire life and eventually your personal and professional success will affect everything you do, and even hanging your smile. This is what Tomas does for his patients and he has a really incredible approach to do it. Join us in this exciting program and learn how to “Smile your War to Success!” Guest Bio Information: Tomas Seif, DDS Dr. Seif obtained his DDS degree at the Universidad Central de Venezuela in 1989 and his Master of Science degree in Restorative Dentistry at the University of Michigan School of dentistry, USA in 1992. He is founder and former president of the “Venezuelan Academy of Esthetic Dentistry” and an active member of the “International Federation of Esthetic Dentistry”. As an entrepreneur he founded and is the director of the “Venezuelan Institute for dental updating” and later found “NoRonquesMas” a dental service for treating snoring and sleep apnea. Dr. Seif lectures extensively both nationally and internationally having presented lectures in the main programs of the most important dental academies around the globe. He is regularly invited as professor in Venezuelan dental schools. He has edited and co-authored several textbooks in dentistry, some of which are used as textbooks at different universities. His Private practice is dedicated exclusively to restorative dentistry and esthetics in Caracas, Venezuela


Dr. Tomas Seif


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Syble Solomon Head Shot-VA-

Financial Behaviorist Syble Solomon joined me on “Turn the Page” to discuss how her Money Habitudes card game, which has been used by hundreds of thousands of people globally, helps people to have their “best ever” conversations about money. These types of dialogues can support couples in staying together, the wealthy in improving their quality of life (affluence does not imply well-being!), and those who are financially challenged to thrive.

Listen to our episode for insights that will guide you in better understanding your spending and saving behaviors.
Lee Gimpel-head shot-VA
“Credit” is a topic that goes hand-in-hand with your habits and attitudes about money. Subsequent to our show, Syble and her colleague, Lee Gimpel, with whom she created The Good Credit Game, provided information that will assist you in optimizing your credit score. Given the variability in how credit works in different parts of the world, the suggestions they shared are best applied in the U.S. Here’s what they said:

Your credit score is derived from the contents of your credit report at the time that the data is requested. Different companies produce both general scores, and ones that are specific to particular industries and different types of credit requests. Your score answers the question, “How much does the financial system trust you?” It determines the likelihood you’ll be approved for credit or a loan, and the rates you’ll receive.

Your credit background is increasingly used beyond traditional places like getting a mortgage or car loan. It may figure into whether someone will rent to you, or if you qualify for a job, especially those that require security clearances. Lower credit scores can mean higher car insurance rates. Statistically, people with lower scores make more insurance claims.

It takes time to build good credit. If you plan on buying a house in five years, start improving your credit today – not right before buying that home. The difference between great credit and OK credit could mean that you get a loan that’s hundreds of dollars cheaper per month, which will save you thousands of dollars over the course of that loan.

The most important factor in your credit score is whether you pay your bills on time and as agreed.  This payment history accounts for 35% of your credit score.

Don’t max out your credit. Your credit score tends to suffer if you use a lot of your available credit at once, even if you pay your balance in full each month. A typical rule of thumb is to use a maximum of 30% of your limit. So if your card has a $10,000 limit, try to stay under $3000 in any given month. Increasing the credit limit on your account might improve your score in the longer term, if it enables you to use a smaller percentage of your credit limit.

Paying off your credit bill balance in full every month saves you a lot of money, while paying just the minimum will cost you a lot! Closing all old credit cards can lower your score. You can lose history and the lower overall credit limit can also hurt your score.

If you can’t pay your bill, contact the credit card company to work out a solution. Don’t ignore the bills. There will be late fees, and the balance will keep growing as interest will be charged on the new balance each month. This can lower your credit score, especially if outstanding balances go to collections agencies.

When you request your credit report, it is a “soft” inquiry and doesn’t lower your credit score. “Hard” inquiries are associated with financial commitments such as getting a loan or applying for a mortgage, credit card or line of credit. They can lower your credit score.

As long as you can make timely payments on what you owe, use credit! A minimal or nonexistent track record of paying back debt might lower your credit score and cause vendors to charge you higher interest rates. Since research shows that past behavior is indicative of future behavior, lenders want to see how you’ve handled similar situations.

Credit reports often contain mistakes that can lower your credit score and/or reveal fraudulent activity. Errors like a misspelled name or incorrect address may cause someone else’s information to impact your scores. There are lots of fake “free” services out there, so ensure that you’re utilizing credible sources. Check your report from each of the three main credit bureaus annually. It’s free at: http://www.annualcreditreport.com.

Reading Syble’s “10 Tips to Talk About Money with Your Honey article, and using her Money Habitudes cards or on-line tool can help you to better understand your “money personality.” If you’d like to educate adults and young adults about credit reports, scores, and credit cards – in a fun and hands-on way – include the The Good Credit Game in your discussions.

Listen to my conversation with Syble to learn more!

How to Make the Right Decision: Going From Worrier to Warrior in 10 Easy Steps by Hemda Mizrahi & Benson Simmonds

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How to Make the Right Decision: Going From Worrier to Warrior in 10 Easy Steps by Hemda Mizrahi & Benson Simmonds

Benson Simmonds

Award-winning actor, coach, and writer Benson Simmonds joined me on “Turn the Page” to discuss his recently published book, “SOULAR POWER  – Unlocking the Eight Gates to Joy and Abundance,” which reflects his 20 years of study in the dramatic arts, Kabbalah, Eastern Philosophy, and Mysticism. Listen to this episode to access greater meaning, joy, and success in your life.

Benson expanded upon our conversation after the show, by sharing how you can apply the key tactics he offered to the process of making “good” decisions. If you’re generally decisive and find yourself in new waters with an unprecedented anxiety or conflict that’s causing you to feel “stuck,” this approach will help you to move forward with greater peace of mind. If you frequently  have a hard time making decisions, Benson’s “ten steps” will teach you how to choose more quickly, and with greater confidence.

Here’s what he taught me—in his own words:

We’ve all been there – gripped by fear when needing to make an important decision. We’re afraid of making the “wrong” choice, or one that will result in a negative outcome for ourselves or someone else. Whether you’re making business decision, considering whether to leave or stay in a relationship, making choices regarding your health, school, or even what color shoes to buy, the underlying constant is that feeling for fear. When in fear, you are in worrier (ego) mode, as opposed to warrior (soul) mode, that place from which you can tap into the power of your soul. You soul is your untapped brain potential, that part of you that is connected to a divine source of unlimited joy, love and expansion.

What about the old, “make a list of pros and cons, so you can detach emotionally” approach? That strategy removes your emotions instead of inspiring you to use your emotional intelligence, which you actually need to make the best decision.

So what is the key to making a good decision? Shifting out of fear and into love, which is of course an emotional state. Shifting from ego to soul, from worrier to warrior. Here are the 10 simple and profound steps you can take to make your best decision.

When you are in ego/fear mode the overwhelming message you receive is “lack and limitation.” This message conveys that there is never enough, and that you are not enough. To shift, take a deep breath and say, “I AM ENOUGH. THIS MOMENT IS ENOUGH.” As you do this, you’ll immediately begin to slow down the ego/worrier self and connect with your soul. The overriding message of the soul is “YOU ARE ENOUGH” and “there is always enough,” so you WON’T be limited or losing out regardless of which decision you make.

Realize that you can choose to tap into something larger than yourself, your soul. By making this choice and stating out loud, “I CHOOSE TO MAKE THIS A SOULAR POWERED DECISION,” you’ll expand past the information that’s available through your ego/fear. Instead, you’ll tap into a power that has a wealth of data beyond the “facts” as you see them. You’ll surpass “black and white thinking,” which limits your choices, to “FULL SPECTRUM THINKING,” which opens you up to new possibilities. Your decision will be informed by the deeper wisdom you’re able to access through this expanded view.

Ask yourself: “What are five to ten things I LOVE about myself?”  Be sure to state your answers out loud and use “I LOVE…” in every sentence. For example, “I LOVE my sense of humor. I LOVE my intelligence. I LOVE that I’m a survivor. I LOVE that I try to be kind,” etc. By focusing on what you LOVE, you’ll shift out of fear and into love (become a LOVE GENERATOR instead of a LOVE SEEKER), which will help you to make the best decision.

Convey GRATITUDE STATEMENTS that express thanks for your shift to “warrior:” “Thank you (God, universe, the divine, higher powers, etc.) for the ease with which I’ve released my need to make the right decision.” By repeating this a few times, you’ll liberate the pressure your ego/worrier side has placed upon you and begin to feel a newfound ease about the decision. Here’s another version of a gratitude statement: “Thank you God (divine, etc.) for the ease which with I’ve made the right decision.”

Envision yourself within the PYRAMID OF PROTECTION: Imagine that you’re sitting or standing inside a four-walled, three-dimensional pyramid. There is a wall slanting up to a point above your head on all four sides of you. The floor is the fifth wall. Divine light from above infuses the walls of the pyramid with unconditional love and joy. Feel yourself and the inside of the pyramid becoming enveloped in divine light. From inside the pyramid say, “I am now connected to and protected by the divine.”

While in the pyramid of protection, say, “EVERY DECISION I MAKE IS NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THE DIVINE.” By repeating this statement within the pyramid, you’ll take even more of the pressure off. You can also say, “EVERYTHING I DO IS NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THE DIVINE.” By doing this, you’ll remind yourself, that it’s not about you; it’s about what you can contribute.

When you make a soular powered decision, you’ll CHOOSE THE OPTION THAT FEELS THE MOST EXPANSIVE. Simply stated, fear contracts and love expands. When you are afraid, your body pulls inward and in that moment, it’s all about you. When you are feeling love, you naturally expand your arms and want to share, celebrate and contribute. Now, take a moment to reflect on your decision. Which choice feels more expansive to you? The more expansive decision is the best one.

ASKING EXPANSIVE QUESTIONS will help you tap into your soular power and make the best decision. Rather than asking negative questions, like “what will happen if I make the wrong decision?,” or “why am I a loser?,” ask EMPOWERING questions, like: “HOW CAN I EXPERIENCE MORE JOY WHILE MAKING THIS DECISION?,” and “WHY AM I A WINNER REGARDLESS OF THE DECISION I MAKE?” Your brain is a super computer and it will provide you with an answer to any question you ask. Most of us are unaware of the questions we are asking ourselves subconsciously. By asking yourself specific expansive questions, you’ll receive answers that will inspire you to make the best choice.

BLESS FIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. Think of the person and say “blessings to your for health, happiness, abundance, etc.” Even if the decision is about leaving a boss or relationship, send that boss or current spouse/lover blessings. This will very quickly shift you out of fear and into love, opening up your divine channel of joy, love and expansion even more.

When making your decision, eliminate the need to “be good.” Trying to “be good” can lure you into a decision that is based on self-sacrifice or martyrdom, which your ego convinces you is “noble.” This leaves you stuck in worrier mode. Instead, SEE GOOD, the good in yourself and that of others. A true soular powered decision is a WIN-WIN for all parties involved.

In applying these 10 steps, you’ll make the “best” decision and ENJOY the process of choosing. You’ll feel more joyous and loving, which will contribute to even better decisions as you move through your day.

Benson shares blessings for you to “embrace your soular power and open your heart to feel and attract more joy, love and abundance in every moment.”

His book, “SOULAR POWER – Unlocking the Eight Gates of Joy and Abundance” is available on Amazon. You can reach him at soularpowerbook@gmail.com if you’d like to find out more about his spiritual and business coaching services.

Whether or not you see yourself as a “spiritual” person, you’ll gain a practical approach to improving results in every aspect of your life by listening to our conversation.

We invite you to “pay it forward” and expand your fortune by sharing the link to the episode and blog post with your on and off-line communities.

From Novice to Expert by Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave

3/16/16 – From Novice to Expert

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Yoda

You are already an expert if you drop the story that you are not. Tune into Being Here with Ariel & Shya Kane and discover how to go from Novice to Expert in an instant. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!

Listen Live this Wednesday, March 16th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel.

NOTE: Sunday, March 13 is Daylight Savings Time in the US. This means that on March 16 & 23, Being Here will air one hour earlier in Europe: 5pm Central European Time & 4pm in the UK.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also subscribe to BEING HERE on iTunes!

CHANGE has a positive impact on your Performance! by Luis Vicente Garcia

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CHANGE has a positive impact on your Performance! by Luis Vicente Garcia

Luis Vicente Garcia at the Entrepreneur Symposium_High Point University_Nov 2014

As we learn about how to improve our Performance we need to understand that learning about CHANGE is a critical and key ingredient for Success. We know that change happens when we alter the form or nature of something; I will include of someone as well. Change is always present in everything we do, whether it is in or personal or professional lives. It affects our society, our families and the companies we work and interact with.

George Bernard Shaw said “Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” This is why understanding that change can have positive and everlasting implications of growth, evolution and transformation is extremely important in today’s world.

Join me in this episode as we see the concepts of performance and mindset from the perspective of becoming a change leader.

Your Attitude for a Perfect Performance! by Luis Vicente Garcia

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Your Attitude for a Perfect Performance! by Luis Vicente Garcia

Luis Vicente Garcia_Curso

When we combine the definitions of ‘Attitude’ and ‘Performance’, we find a really interesting combination: one that allows us to focus, set our goals and particularly define how we want our mindset to work.

Attitude has been defined as the “manner or disposition with regards to a person or a thing”. However, when we look at its meaning from a performance point of view, it defines how we behave and what we feel towards a person, thing, company or market. This is why then the concept of Performance Attitude is a key ingredient of what you can do, how you behave and what you will be able to accomplish.

Join us on this episode of ‘Performance at Your Best’ as we explore how to combine the positive aspects of Performance and Attitude.

Luis Vicente Garcia is a Business Performance Coach with FocalPoint Coaching and Training, International speaker, Best-selling author and radio host who focuses on leadership, teams, success and entrepreneurship.

To contact Luis Vicente follow him at www.luisvicentegarcia.com @lvgarciag or send an email to coachluis@luisvicentegarcia.com

Tune in live every Tuesday at 3pm PST to Performing at Your Best: Mindset Evolution with Luis Vicente Garcia

Motivation for Success! by Luis Vicente Garcia

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Motivation for Success! by Luis Vicente Garcia

Motivation has been defined as the “act or instance of motivating or providing a reason to act in a certain way or to accomplish something”. So as a verb, it activates “action”.

Motivation is a key ingredient for success and we must understand that everything we do and dare to do, allow us to move forward no matter what happens to us, to fight adversity and to continue building and working to create our better future.

Being motivated is already a challenge by itself. This for you means: stay motivated every day to motivate and inspire others does matter.

As Coach Pat Railey once said: “a champion needs a motivation above and beyond winning.” I would add, we all need motivation above all.

Join me as we start understanding the importance of motivation for today’s challenges and opportunities.

Luis Vicente Garcia_Motivacion
About Luis Vicente Garcia

Luis Vicente Garcia is a Business Performance Coach certified by FocalPoint Coaching and Training, a best-selling author, motivational international speaker and the Host of the radio show ‘Performing at Your Best: Mindset Evolution‘ on the VoiceAmerica Business Channel. www.luisvicentegarcia.com @lvgarciag

Finding the Balance Point, An Excerpt from Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment

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7th Wave
Finding the Balance Point, An Excerpt from Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment


Finding the Balance Point
An Excerpt from Being Here: Modern Day Tales of Enlightenment
by Ariel & Shya Kane

Most people aim to live in a way that produces a sense of well-being, satisfaction and accomplishment. We are all interested in being productive and achieving the goals that are consistent with our values. However, the two of us have often observed that in the desire to attain their goals, people often lose sight of what is happening in their lives…in each moment. People are driven to accomplish what they think will produce happiness, success and well-being and miss all that life has to offer when you are Being Here.

We are not suggesting that you should not have goals. It is simply that focusing on future goals will rob you of the richness of this moment.

Here is an example:

Since we are both avid fly fishers, we took a short vacation after one of our winter seminars in Costa Rica, where we set out to catch large Pacific sailfish on fly rods. There we hired Captain Bobby, his boat and mate to take us off the Costa Rican coast in the blue Pacific in search of these majestic creatures.

Each year, for the previous four years, we had fished with Captain Bobby. When we first met him, he was working for a fishing lodge as one of their premier guides. We seemed to get along well together, so we continued to book trips with him after he went into business for himself.

It was just Bobby, his mate and the two of us, on a 26-foot boat, heading off shore for an adventure near Golfito, Costa Rica. There is something about the intensity and immediacy of life at sea that fascinates and feeds us.

Each day began at dawn as we motored away from the small village nestled next to the rain forest and out between the arms of land that guard Golfito. As we headed out to sea, we always encountered something vital. There were majestic trees on shore that burst into purple blossoms and the fragrance wafted out on the breeze. We often came upon giant schools of dolphins that jumped and cavorted, swimming in front of the bow of the boat, a marine vanguard of some of the most intelligent creatures on the planet. There were big gray ones, sleek and powerful, effortlessly gliding, gracing our craft with their presence, elegantly taking turns leading us to wherever our bow was pointed. There were also the spinner dolphins that treated us to aerial acrobatic displays as they jumped and spun, twirling in apparent delight before splashing back into the sea. The spinners are often accompanied by yellowfin tuna and they work together corralling and feeding upon the schools of small baitfish. You can see this group from a long distance. It is a frenzy of glistening water, leaping shapes and a raucous cloud of diving seabirds.

Sea turtles are more sedate. They poke their heads above water to watch the world go by. Occasionally, we have had a spectacular view of whales, up close and personal. On one particular trip, we saw a mother and her calf speeding toward the distant shore. They leapt and dove in tandem on a path parallel to our boat. For some time we kept pace with these giants.

Manta rays do back flips, frigate birds soar high on the thermals and pelicans fly in formation inches above the waves as they catch the updrafts. And then, there are the big game fish, dorado, Pacific sailfish and marlin. The dorado are golden, blue green bullets that streak from the deep to attack the lures that are trolled behind the boat. Sailfish materialize, thrashing about as they attempt to stun the bait with their beaks, so that they can have a leisurely feed. And the marlins are the kings – creatures without equal. These amazingly powerful and aggressive goliaths emerge from nowhere at full fury; suddenly the deceptively passive skin of the water erupts as something the size of a small car explodes into view.

Sometimes on one of these trips, we have come upon a log, floating like a solitary world 20 or 30 miles from anything, a whole ecosystem unto itself. Birds sit and rest. Crabs and shrimp-like creatures scuttle on its surface and below, in the shadow of the log itself, descending layers of baitfish circle and feed upon the smaller life forms. The dorado, sailfish and marlin can lurk just out of view waiting to pounce.

So our “fishing” expeditions are immersions into the life and grandeur of the sea. Each day on the water is a gift, full of sights, sounds and smells that allow us to get back in touch with nature and the vastness of life on the planet.

You would think that being a fishing captain would be a very fulfilling way to lead life. But Captain Bobby was blinded by a revolving set of goals. When we first met him, he would complain about the management of the lodge and say, “If I had my own boat, I would do it differently. I would do things better than they do.”

On this particular trip, Bobby had finally accomplished some of his life long ambitions, including getting a boat of his own. His current goal, which he enticed us to be a part of, was to capture a world record sized fish on a fly rod. Bobby was very interested in Ariel becoming the new women’s world record holder for Pacific sailfish and so our days included attaining this goal. It became an exciting adventure to hunt for big game, hoping to catch one that was the biggest ever recorded. One day, Ariel caught that big fish. It was truly a giant. A grizzled beast weighing well over l00 pounds, almost 10 feet long from tip to tail.

We had won. We had accomplished what we had set out to do. The euphoria lasted almost an entire evening. Then the trouble began. Bobby had met one of his own personal goals and so it was on to the next one with a fervor and intensity of purpose. What we discovered was that he was no longer just fishing and enjoying the wealth of experience to be had on the ocean. We were now fiercely directed into “must get another world’s record” as if the attainment of this goal would produce some sense of real and lasting satisfaction.

A few days later, Ariel caught a world record size roosterfish. That night at dinner Bobby let us know that this was one of his four life goals. Things after that went from somewhat bad to worse. He became irritable, easily frustrated and quick to anger. Now we couldn’t do it right enough for him, nor could we catch a big enough fish, fast enough. Fishing became serious business. No more “Mr. Nice Guy.” We talked to him about this, of course, since it was not our idea of fun on vacation. He wasn’t so open about his frustration during the rest of the trip but we could see it seething just below the surface.

Bobby had gotten lost in the idea that attaining the next goal would somehow fulfill him, validate his existence and make him a happier person. The problem with this idea arises when you actually attain your objective. Life is not fundamentally changed by achievement. And so the accomplishment of a goal, under these circumstances, does not produce a sense of well-being or satisfaction.

If you are satisfied in yourself, the attainment of a goal is satisfying. If you are not satisfied, the attainment of a goal only stimulates the need for the next one. The completion of something intensifies who you are and how you are currently being. So, if the attainment of a goal is about expressing yourself into life, then your feeling of self-expression, self-worth and well-being is intensified. If, however, you are producing goals because you feel you are deficient or inadequate, coming from the fantasy that the attainment of your desires will produce satisfaction or sufficiency, when you reach your objective, you will be disappointed. The sense of emptiness or dissatisfaction becomes stronger.

Having goals can be extremely useful but not if they are attained while sacrificing your experience of living in each moment. If you are worrying about the future and the production of goals, you cannot be engaged in what is happening in this current moment in your life.

Our fishing story is a prime example. Catching big game fish requires more than just the angler’s skill. It is a team effort and having a mutual goal kept all of us focused and gave meaning and purpose to our actions. Mistakes were minimized because we brought all of our attention and ability to the process of catching fish. But there is a balance point. Focus is a benefit, but if you are off in the future, expecting the outcome to produce long-term happiness or satisfaction, you miss the magic of the moment and life becomes serious and two-dimensional.

Ariel ultimately caught three world record fish during that trip, two Pacific sailfish and one roosterfish. She currently holds numerous Women’s Fly Fishing World Records with The International Game Fish Association.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders & radio show hosts Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Learn about their seminars, Being Here radio show and five award-winning books: www.TransformationMadeEasy.com

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