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Ways to Leverage Social Media

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Ways to Leverage Social Media


By age 6, both of my daughters knew what they wanted to do with their life. This was shocking to me. My eldest is now almost 16 and my youngest is 11. At this point, both daughters are walking steadily along their life’s path and truly have a clear sense of purpose. I watch them both with awe and wonder as having this knowledge has shaped every choice they’ve made in school and how they spend a good part of their waking hours.

To be clear, I don’t think this scenario is the norm. In fact, I think it quite rare and I also think I won the parent lottery. It took me until age 40 to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and it wasn’t until the spring of 2014 that I finally had the courage to quit a secure corporate job to finally become a full-time entrepreneur. I talked about it, and dreamed about it, and even had a TV show for two seasons that focused on people who did it. I, on the other hand, dallied with the concept for THREE full years before taking that final next step.

All this to say that the idea of finding your purpose is a huge one. It takes time and a commitment to digging deep by asking yourself some hard-core questions — questions that strike at the heart of who you are and expose your soft pink underbelly. Dare I say it…they reveal your…vulnerability.

On my January 7th episode of Your Authentic Life, I have the pleasure of interviewing Gerry Visca. Gerry is regarded internationally as Canada’s Creative Coach. He has a gift for unleashing WHY power within Fortune 500 leaders and inspiring entrepreneurs. He has impacted over 100,000 people across 10 countries and through his World WHY tour.

On my show, Gerry and I are going to dig deep and explore the WHY questions to help you examine or reconnect with how you’re spending your days. The critical point is that I think it is more about how we spend our time on important things each day that adds up. Ask yourself: Are you doing things that are important to you or are you just doing things?

You can go through life with comfort and complacency or you can lean into your life and bring your best game every day. No one said it would be easy. In fact, Victor Frankl, Holocaust survivor and author of Man’s Search for Meaning, said, “What is to give light must endure burning.”

To supplement my interview with Gerry, here are five questions I ask my clients to answer when they are looking for direction and purpose:

1)“Imagine money was no object, how would you spend your day?” Or put in another way, “If you were given the gift of the perfect day, how would you spend it and why?”

2) “What gets you so lost in something that you forget to eat and sleep?” Or “What do you do that gets you in a state of flow so that time seems to fly by and you could keep doing what you’re doing forever?”

3) Knowing that even engaging in what we love has some more challenging or not fun aspects to it, “What could you do that even if it felt like work, you could still do it knowing that there were so many upsides to all the other aspects of it?” (I call this eating a poo-sandwich.) Insert your own profanity…my girls don’t let me swear.

4) Doing what you love creates a sense of vulnerability and that may prevent you from pursuing it. Fear can hold power if you feed it. So, the question is, “What could you do that even if you were exposed to embarrassment repeatedly in order to get better at it, you would still want to do it?” No one starts off doing what they love without running into road blocks or making mistakes. Examine if you are holding yourself back because you’re afraid of what others will think of you or if you are afraid of your own success. If you are not doing what you want because of what others will think of you, you’re robbing yourself of your own happiness. “If you were age 6 and you asked yourself same question, would your answer be different?” 

5) This is the corny question, but it is important so please stay with me. “You’ve been told you have one year to live. Fast forward one year from today. You are on your deathbed and are writing your own obituary. What would you want to write about yourself?” Purpose is about how you spent time on important things that made a difference for you but also helped others through your efforts. Do you want to write, Here lies me, the person who watched every episode of the Gilmore Girls 5 times?

The bottomline is that purpose comes down to making choices that are right for you and taking time for daily self reflection. Do what you love and you won’t be driven by the fear of embarrassment or what others think of you. You’ve got incredible gifts that the world is waiting to see. Don’t rob us of your talents. Take the leap. Connect with what lights you up and do things that are important to you, every day. Then you’ll be living your authentic life.

How to Fail Intelligently

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How to Fail Intelligently


It happens to us all. We make mistakes. Even when we feel we’ve made the best decision based on the information we have at the time. Sometimes failure comes with little to no negative consequences and other times, it comes with a much higher price. In many situations, we stop ourselves short because of the fear of failure. We thwart our ability to proceed based on the crippling regrets of past failures.

Fortunately, a recent concept known as intelligent failure has shed some much needed light on the notion that one can learn, maximize, and even accelerate through the act of trial and error. Note the emphasis on the term, error. If we are able to emphasize the idea that innovation can be made possible by accepting a certain risk of failure that is inherent in new ideas and approaches, we can grow our risk tolerance and comfort with failure in healthy ways.

The reality is that no matter how hard we try to avoid failure, it will happen. Intelligent failure is the intentional practice of reacting to these situations more productively and less defensively. This is a skill that anyone can learn. It is the hope anyone fearful of decision-making welcomes.

So how does one learn the skill of intelligent failure? Well, Commander Chris Hadfield sets a pretty amazing example. I’ve blogged about it back in August when I was speaking at a conference where Chris was the keynote. His message was about hope and how planning for failure builds greater confidence and successful outcomes.

Often people are afraid to talk about their failures. Perhaps is is the fear of ridicule or simply dredging up the painful memories. When we talk about failure, we help others gain a different perspective and learn to avoid making the same mistakes.

Like squeezing the juice from a lemon to make lemonade, when we fail intelligently, we look at the experience for the opportunity to extract as many lessons as we can as part of our journey to success. Failure can teach us a lot.

On this week’s episode of Your Authentic Life, I interview Heather Clarke, an executive coach who will share tips about intelligent failure. Tune in to VoiceAmerica’s Empowerment Channel, Wednesday at 2:00pm ET or 11am PT, to hear this interview live.

The biggest tip I can share with you is to push through feelings about failure. It is human nature to be staunchly averse to feeling the embarrassment or shame that is linked to talking about mistakes. It can pull down your self esteem if there isn’t a trusting environment to explore the learning that comes from these experiences. When you don’t talk about it or deal with it early, there can be a tendency to pretend it didn’t happen or that you didn’t have a part in it. No one has the ability to learn or draft a new course for success as quickly or successfully as could have been possible. As Robert F. Kennedy said, “Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.”

I’m excited about this episode to liberate the stigma related to failure and hope you’ll give us a listen on Wednesday. Remember, it isn’t about celebrating failure, but rather staying curious and open to learning about what it can teach you when it occurs.

On Self Compassion and Positive Next Steps

Posted by Editor on
On Self Compassion and Positive Next Steps


It happens to all of us. There comes a time when we all make whopper-sized mistakes. Real doozies. Maybe it is a poor choice that resulted in the worst possible outcome. Perhaps it was something you said from a place of anger, fear, or frustration. Even in the moment right after the words left your lips, you felt the flush of regret. You wish you could swallow up your words and have a ‘do-over’.

Your worst fear came true. Thinking about it is causes you to feel all of the initial emotion as if the situation just happened.

So what do you do? Do you beat yourself up and relive the moment in a perpetual cycle of shame and regret?


It is time to dial up self compassion, focus on present moment awareness and ways to build positive momentum. Letting the pain, embarrassment, or shame of regret dwell in your heart allows emotional toxicity to pollute you mentally and physically. When you allow these and harmful thoughts to stay inside you, you drain your energy reserves and further the cycle of self doubt and uncertainty.

This isn’t a place you want to call home. It would be far more comforting to have a cozy, soft place to rest your weary heart and mind.

Here are some tips to help you build a stronger foundation based on self compassion:

1) Practice mindful awareness. Stay present and acknowledge what you are feeling. You may be frustrated, sad, hurt, disappointed, or embarrassed. Recognize the feeling and take responsibility for the emotions. Allow yourself to be in the space you need to be as a curious detached observer. From here, if you need to apologize, do so. Hoping that the situation will fade from your memory or from others is unlikely. Take the time to do as the Chinese proverb says, “If you must bow at all, bow low.” From here, you will create space for healthier thoughts and more nourishing actions.

2) Practice emotional release. Journal your emotions and the situation that triggered them. Then release what you journaled by burning the paper or shredding and discarding it. Next, recognize this important step in a ceremony of celebration by doing something nurturing for yourself.

3) Use your top 3 phrases. What phrases can you verbalize to yourself when you are suffering. Think of three statements you can say out loud to plant better thoughts in your subconscious. Here are a few suggestions: “I allow myself time to feel these emotions.” “I am worthy and deserving of self love and compassion.” “Suffering happens and it is in this moment, but won’t last forever.”

As the 12th century Sufi poet Rumi wrote, “The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”

4) Consider your community. You are not the only person who suffers. Imagine a friend shared her suffering with you. How would you comfort her? Most likely, you would use words of caring, support, and compassion. Can you do the same for yourself?

5) Remember you are the director. You are not your thoughts. You are the thinker of your thoughts and the director of your life’s movie. You can’t change what has been written, but you can write a more nurturing and healthy script for your main character going forward.

For more tips on self compassion and building positive momentum, please tune into my radio show, Your Authentic Life on VoiceAmerica’s Empowerment Channel. My guest on the November 19 show is Amanda Weber. Call in to 1.888. 246.9141 or email your questions to authentikaconsulting@gmail.com. The show airs live Wednesdays at 11:00am PST and 2:00pm EST.

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