Tag Archives

10 Articles

Starting Over

Posted by presspass on
0
Empowerment
Starting Over

Starting Over

An excerpt from How to Create a Magical Relationship, The Three Simple Ideas That Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life

Click here for more information or to purchase this book

Have you ever found yourself in one of those moods where no matter what your partner says or does, it is all fodder for the fight? Where you are angry, disturbed, and nothing he or she says or does is right or good enough to relieve your sense of aggravation?

We recently met a couple, Hal and Mary, in one of these altered states of consciousness. They came to speak to us about their relationship and how, no matter what they did, it always ended in an upset and distress, and their fight never seemed to completely resolve. Oh sure, it abated from time to time, but the embers of disagreement were always just below a thin skin, ready to erupt at any time.

The funny thing was they were both right—from their individual points of view. From his point of view, “She would always . . . ,” and from her point of view, he was wrong and all of her friends agreed with her. This couple had a list of grievances dating back to early in their relationship, past events over which the two of them continued to disagree.

Hal and Mary had fundamental behavior patterns in their relationship that we have seen in other intimate relationships where nothing seems to resolve. No matter how much they tried to change or fix the situation, it stayed the same or became worse. So they came to us, looking at whether or not they should remain together. Their situation was further complicated by the fact that they had a sixteen-month-old child together. By now, the sense of intimacy between them had completely eroded, and while they were very devoted to their daughter, she had become the focal point for many of their fights.

The real problem was that Mary and Hal, for all of their strife, were obviously still in love. They just couldn’t find a way to sidestep the old grievances that kept resurfacing, incendiary mechanical behaviors that set them battling against their will.

Our usual approach is to find out where it all started and what happened that initiated the fight, but when we asked what had caused this pattern of behavior in the first place, Hal and Mary each had their reasons for what the other did or didn’t do that created the situation, and both of them were “right” from their points of view. Apparently, we had a stalemate. No matter what we came up with, each person felt certain that the other was the cause of their stress, upset, and dissatisfaction. This is normal for most relationships that are in trouble.

In situations like this, where the partners have been together for several years, the starting point of the disagreement is obscured forever. So what do you do to alleviate the pain when you are locked in a habituated way of relating that seems to have no beginning and no end—a way of relating that keeps accelerating in its frequency, intensity, and duration?

At some point, the reasons why you are upset become irrelevant because everything becomes grounds for the disturbance. It has been unresolved for so long that there is no way to go back and fix all of the grievances and transgressions.

So what do you do then? You can leave each other, which is the end result that a lot of loving relationships devolve into — it’s called divorce. You can punish each other perpetually and live a life of complaint and pain. Or you can start over.

There have been times in our relationship when we found ourselves fighting and could not find a way out of the disagreement in which we were locked. Finally, we came up with a device that allowed us to stop fighting. One day, we were driving into New York City, and for whatever reason, we were deeply engaged in disagreeing with each other. It escalated and was like a sore tooth that you worry with your tongue; we couldn’t seem to leave it alone. Our silences were noisy — very noisy. And each of us was certain that we were right in our own perspective and that the other was simply wrong. We each felt picked on and misunderstood. It didn’t feel good, but there didn’t seem to be a way to resolve the conflict. Finally, we came up with the idea of starting over. We picked out an overpass ahead on the highway and said, “When we go under that overpass, the fight is over.” This meant that as soon as our car passed that spot, we were going to operate as if this disagreeable conversation had never taken place. Onward we drove. It took discipline at first to resist thinking about the altercation that had just happened, but we kept bringing our thoughts and conversation back to current things, such as what we could see out the window and our plans for the day, rather than rehashing the past.

We can’t remember now what our fight was about. It seemed so important at the time, but now the details have faded into obscurity. We knew that the fight could fade away for Hal and Mary too, if given a chance, and so we suggested that they try starting over. We warned them it would be challenging not to keep going back to past gripes, but they grew excited and intrigued at the idea.

That night, Hal and Mary had a date. They had not been on a real, live date since before their child was born. The point where they started over was the opportunity for a new beginning. They grabbed this chance with both hands, and intimacy resulted. However, the next time an upsetting event happened between them or a similar type of disagreement cropped up over their child, it took discipline to resist the temptation to revisit old events. With practice, the habit of going back to touch on old events in your thoughts or in your actions can fade away.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

10 Tips for Being Single on Valentines Day

Posted by Editor on
0
Women
10 Tips for Being Single on Valentines Day

Question:

I wondered if you had any suggestions for making Valentine’s Day less painful, after just going through a divorce. I’m sure there are lots of singles out there who find this holiday a painful reminder about the fact they are alone. Maybe you could give us all some ways to make this week easier.

Answer:

For many people this holiday is a Single Awareness Day, not a celebration of love. The important thing to remember is that your experience or the way you think and feel about this week is completely dependent on your perspective, and you can choose your perspective. A date of the calendar cannot make you feel alone or unwanted. It is your thoughts about the date that create your feelings and your thoughts are in your control.

The problem is that most of us are quite used to letting our subconscious programming (that comes from our past experiences) drive our perspective and how we feel. We think we can’t help feeling or thinking how we do, so we just accept whatever ideas or feelings show up.

The first step in changing how you feel about this week, is owning responsibility for your feelings and accepting that if you feel upset or sad, you are choosing to feel upset or sad. If you own the power to choose your thoughts, you have the power to change them.

But understand, there is nothing wrong with feeling upset or sad, lonely or discouraged. These feelings are part of the human experience and you may need to let yourself feel them and work through them. Just own that you don’t have to live there. You have the power to change your story around this day, anytime you want to.

There will be a subconscious story that shows up in your head automatically about Valentine’s Day. This subconscious story might be a fear-based victim story or one of self-pity or sadness. You can take some time to experience the story that shows up, but then ask yourself if this story is doing you or anyone else any good?

If it isn’t serving you, creating growth or joy, then you may want to create a better, more positive story. You have the power to do that. This day will be whatever you decide to make it according to the story you tell yourself. Here are some ideas that might help you create a more positive story:

1. Valentine’s Day is mostly a commercial occasion driven by stores that want sales. Keep that in mind.

2. Not having someone in your life right now does not affect your value as a person. At all. People in a relationship are not better than those without one.

3. Decide to see all human beings as having the same exact value, no matter what they do or what their relationship status is. Make this a principle of truth about all people, across the board, and you will feel it is the truth about yourself too.

4. Understand that nothing means anything until you apply meaning to it. The date on the calendar doesn’t mean anything. The fact you are single doesn’t mean anything. Choose not to apply meaning to meaningless things. If you choose to apply meaning that makes you more depressed and sad, that is your choice, but own the choice and be responsible for it.

5. You will create a story around the day, one way or another. If you don’t create a story consciously, you might create a fear-based one subconsciously. I recommend you choose to create one consciously and choose a story that serves you and makes you feel strong, loving, valuable and worthy.

6. Remember it’s not being single that is the problem, it’s what you tell yourself it means that you’re single on Valentine’s Day. Tell yourself it just means there is still something you are meant to learn right now that requires singleness to learn it. It’s not because you aren’t good looking or a catch, it’s not that no one likes you, it’s just not the right lesson for you right now.

7. Take some time to account for all the benefits of being single. Remind yourself why relationships are difficult and can be a struggle. It will help you stay grateful for the blessings about where you are. Gratitude for everything that is good in your life really helps.

8. Plan something fun to do on Valentine’s. Get together with friends and create a positive experience.

9. Make the day about pampering yourself. The great part about being single is all the time you can devote to taking care of yourself. What do you need to do for you, to be your own Valentine? Treat yourself great.

10. Make the day about service. There are always people in need, who have it worse than you. When you focus your energy on serving others, you take the focus off you and you will feel terrific about yourself.

You can do this!

Life Is A Date

Posted by Editor on
0
Empowerment
Life Is A Date

Life Is A Date

an excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven

by Ariel & Shya Kane

If you’re dating or contemplating dating again, you may be reading this with the desire to glean tips that will help you with that process. If you’ve been married for years, you may be skimming through this to get on to the information that applies to you. You may erroneously think that you’re “beyond the dating stage” and may be rushing forward to find the marriage parts. But dating itself is a key building block for any relationship or marriage. In fact, when a couple gets into trouble, they have often forgotten to woo each other. They have forgotten how to date. It’s easy to forget when there are bills to be paid and children to be fed or when you’re busy trying to make your relationship “go somewhere.”

The two of us are on a succession of dates. They have already lasted 30 years and we expect a lifetime of them. Sometimes we stop what we’re doing when one or the other of us will say, “Want to take a date with me out to the mailbox?” Then we slip on our shoes and go out our front door. The screen door makes a creaking salute, and we often hold hands as we head out into our driveway, our feet crunching on the gravel. It’s a time to feel the air and smell the greenery and see the sun slanting through the trees. Or perhaps it’s a time to slide over the snow and watch the bare branches clatter in the wind. But it’s always a time just for us. Getting the mail is an excuse to be together.

Of course we don’t actually need an excuse since we live and work together, but we make one anyway. We have dates while doing the dishes and others while making a trip to the grocery store. We have a library date when we go together to pick out books on CD to listen to during the hour-long ride to New York City where we work. And occasionally over the years, we’ve even had a date in the emergency room as one or the other of us needed medical attention. It’s all an intimate adventure if you’re there for it.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Feminism Today By Cynthia Brian

Posted by Editor on
0
Categories
Feminism Today By Cynthia Brian

 

Teens talk and the world listens every Tuesday NOON PT on the Voice America Kids Network. Produced by StarStyler® Productions, LLC and Cynthia Brian, these young adults know how to rock and express their unique views. Join the fun!

Asya Gonzalez, 2016JPGZahra HasanianChela Pelchat – Version 2
What is feminism? Does it refer to a diverse variety of beliefs, ideas, movements, and agendas for action? Hosts Asya Gonzalez and Zahra Hasanian share their views on gender equality, the roles of parents in our shaping our viewpoints, and the importance of being true to yourself. Past Present Reporter Chelsea Pelchat gives us a historical perspective as she talks about history and society’s outlook on women through the ages, as well as their place in shaping our modern world. Best selling author and producer, Cynthia Brian, prefers to include both men and women in this narrative as we are all humans in training. Instead of employing labels, how about empowering one another to greatness regardless of gender, race, religion, politics, or other biases? Perhaps once we do that, we won’t need ‘isms!
Cynthia Brian-side
Guest Bio: Cynthia Brian, Founder and Executive Director of Be the Star You Are!® 501 c3 literacy and positive media charity, New York Times best selling co-author of Chicken Soup for the Gardener’s Soul, author of Be the Star You Are!®, 99 Gifts for Living, Loving, Laughing, and Learning to Make a Difference, Be the Star You Are!® for TEENS, The Business of Show Business, The Blessing of Love and Relationships, and Miracle Moments®, is an internationally acclaimed key note speaker, personal growth consultant, actor, producer and host of radio and TV shows, columnist, designer, gardener, and lifestyle coach. She was raised on a farm by two parents who loved one another and believe that men and women were equals in every way. Cynthia has lived with the mentality that anything is possible as long as a person is willing to work hard, show up, and be true to herself. The stars are limitless. (http://www.CynthiaBrian.com)

Listen at Voice America Kids Network

#StartWithaSmile at smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882 to stock up for Christmas/Hannukah and Amazon donates to Be The Star You Are, Inc..

Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES
#Stand For Literacy

Read our BTSYA February Newsletter

What’s happening? Want to party? Visit our Event page 

Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND 

Help Be the Star You Are!® without spending a penny. If you’ve ever purchased a TV or computer screen, just 3 minutes of your time is needed to fill out the simple form and click submit. Every unit qualifies for a donation of about $20 to Be the Star You Are!®. You will receive a tax receipt once the donations have been dispersed. PLEASE do this today. Thanks from Be the Star You Are!®
 
Read about our SUCCESSFUL VOLUNTEERS: READ AT PRESS PASS
Catch up with all broadcasts on ITunes
Buy books by Cynthia Brian  
Amazon Store 
Express Yourself! Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are! charity. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, visit http://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Dare to care!

For all the latest news on what teens are talking about on Express Yourself! Teen Radio embed this code into your blogs and web sites <Iframe src=”http://www.voiceamerica.com/jwplayer/HostPlayer.html?showid=2014″frameborder=”0″ scrolling=”auto” width=”420″ height=”380″></Iframe>
Thanks for supporting teens!

Make a donation today to Be the Star You Are!® charity
Cynthia Brian talks about the empowering outreach programs offered by Be the Star You Are!® charity.  

Embed StarStyle® Be the Star You Are!® Radio
If you are a fan of the authors, experts, celebrities, and guests that appear regularly on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® radio, you can now be sure to never miss an episode. Embed this code into your WordPress site or any site and you’ll always have Cynthia Brian, Heather Brittany, and all of your favorite pioneers on the planet at your fingertips.  Upbeat, positive, life-changing talk radio broadcasting live each week since 1998. Lend us Your Ears. We are Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
 
Be the Star You Are!® charity. Every Season is for Giving Make a donation today.

Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®
Positive Results
About Us 
Programs 
How to Help 
Blog
Events
Contact us

What’s happening? Want to party? Visit our Event page 

Talk 2

Starstyle, Be the Star You Are, and Miracle Moments are registered trademarks of Cynthia Brian

Anybody’s Dog By Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
7th Wave
Anybody’s Dog By Ariel & Shya Kane

Anybody’s Dog – By Shya Kane
An excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage

As my wife Ariel and I boarded a small airplane in Ft. Lauderdale bound for Eleuthera in the Bahamas, I noticed the other passengers who would be flying with us. Some seemed to be Bahamians returning from shopping trips, while others were retirees. There was a family with two small children and I enjoyed watching their young boy animate his Spiderman action figure, jumping it from his sister’s shoulder, flying it from seat to seat. I also noticed a man in his mid–30s talking loudly to his wife. Dressed in casual attire, they were obviously going on vacation. Since there was only one seat on each side of the aisle, Ariel and I sat across from each other and this couple sat in front of us.

The plane prepared for take–off and I watched Ariel gaze out her window, fascinated by the view from her little portal into the world. As I turned to look out of my window, I saw that the man who had been so loud was now fidgeting in his seat while his wife did a crossword puzzle. As we sat on the tarmac before take–off, I heard him say, “Joan, this flight is going to be just like our honeymoon. Look at this plane—it’s so small.”

Immediately that got her attention. She anxiously said, “Do you really think so, Ted?”

“Oh yes, the ride will be exactly the same—just as rough, maybe even rougher.”

She put down her pencil and grabbed his hand. I could only imagine what the airplane ride was like after they got married but this one was actually smooth and calm all the way to the island. Later, as we waited to clear customs, we chatted with them and learned that they were Joan and Ted Johnson from Seattle and that they planned to scuba dive during their vacation. Diving, he said, was a passion of his but we got the impression that he was more comfortable with the sport than she was.

A few days later, we were sitting in a restaurant at twilight. As we were watching the sun slide into the Caribbean, the Johnsons came into the restaurant and they stopped by our table to chat. Ted regaled us with tales of swimming and coming across 6–foot–long barracudas (fish with notably large teeth) and how one of them “postured aggressively.” Expansively, he told us of the dangers and how he had threaded his way through the treacherous waters. It was very interesting to watch Joan in the background during his account. All the while she seemed to grow smaller and shrink into herself.

As they left our table, I suddenly remembered Laddy, a little black mutt I had when I was 14. When my neighbor, Willie White, gave me the dog, I immediately had fantasies that Laddy would be like Rin Tin Tin or Lassie, that he would be my faithful companion, following me, loving me—only me. The problem was that Laddy had an inquisitive nose, an adventurous spirit and he liked people, lots of people. Laddy wasn’t just my dog, he was anybody’s dog. He would happily lick anyone’s face, not only mine. This bothered me in my boyish insecurity until I discovered a trick: Close to home, my dog was secure in his environment and gregarious, but when I took him to new places where he felt less secure, he would stay close by my side and look to me for comfort. When Laddy was attentive only to me, I felt needed, important and loved. But when his attention wandered I felt deflated, smaller somehow.

It was clear to me that Ted undermined Joan’s sense of herself. He wanted all of her attention fixed on him and routinely played on her insecurities as a device to achieve this end.

That evening in the Bahamas, as the last red glow disappeared on the horizon, I looked at Ariel and felt happy to enjoy true love. Our relationship is not built on her loving me…only me. She loves and lives with a sense of wonder and expansiveness and I feel grateful that she chooses to share the adventure of her life with me.

Undermining her sense of well–being so that she “needs” me is a child’s game. Love is not something that is fostered by playing on your partner’s insecurities or pulling on him or her for attention. That type of “love” is about as real and mature as an adult playing with a Spiderman action figure and believing that it actually flies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their five award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

More Here!

Valentine’s Day Celebration! By Cynthia Brian

Posted by Editor on
0
Categories
Valentine’s Day Celebration! By Cynthia Brian

 

Valentine's
Teens talk and the world listens every Tuesday NOON PT on the Voice America Kids Network. Produced by StarStyler® Productions, LLC and Cynthia Brian, these young adults know how to rock and express their unique views. Join the fun!
Asya Gonzalez, 2016JPGBrigitte Jiamaria wong-bTSAY
Cupid is aiming his arrow your way and our Express Yourself!¡ teens have super ideas on how you can spend a stupendous Valentine’s Day, with or without a significant other. Hosts Brigitte Jia and Asya Gonzalez along with Maria Wong offer fun and inexpensive tips to have a memorable day of love.  Open your heart to send a sweet thank you to our men and women in the armed forces. Or bring Valentine’s to shelters. Give the gift of books and homemade cookies, crafts, and caring other things. Tons of great creativity and love pour forth with this program along with links to websites to help you enjoy a special Valentine’s Day. Make a tax-deductible donation in the name of someone you love. Visit www.BetheStarYouAre.org. And don’t forget to love yourself first! “To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance.” – Oscar Wilde

Listen at Voice America Kids Network: https://www.voiceamerica.com/episode/97361/valentines-day

#StartWithaSmile at smile.amazon.com/ch/94-3333882 to stock up for Christmas/Hannukah and Amazon donates to Be The Star You Are, Inc..

Make a DONATION through PAYPAL GIVING FUND and PAYPAL with 100% going to BTSYA with NO FEES: ! https://www.paypal.com/us/webapps/mpp/search-cause?charityId=1504&s=3
#Stand For Literacy
Read our BTSYA February Newsletter

Read about our SUCCESSFUL VOLUNTEERS: READ AT PRESS PASS
Catch up with all broadcasts on ITunes
Buy books by Cynthia Brian  
Amazon Store 

Express Yourself! Teen Radio is produced by Cynthia Brian of Starstyle Productions, llc as an outreach program of Be the Star You Are! charity. To make a tax-deductible donation to keep this positive youth programming broadcasting weekly to international audiences, visit http://www.bethestaryouare.org/donate.htm. Dare to care!

For all the latest news on what teens are talking about on Express Yourself! Teen Radio embed this code into your blogs and web sites <Iframe src=”http://www.voiceamerica.com/jwplayer/HostPlayer.html?showid=2014″frameborder=”0″ scrolling=”auto” width=”420″ height=”380″></Iframe>
Thanks for supporting teens!

Make a donation today to Be the Star You Are!® charity
Cynthia Brian talks about the empowering outreach programs offered by Be the Star You Are!® charity.  

Embed StarStyle® Be the Star You Are!® Radio
If you are a fan of the authors, experts, celebrities, and guests that appear regularly on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® radio, you can now be sure to never miss an episode. Embed this code into your WordPress site or any site and you’ll always have Cynthia Brian, Heather Brittany, and all of your favorite pioneers on the planet at your fingertips.  Upbeat, positive, life-changing talk radio broadcasting live each week since 1998. Lend us Your Ears. We are Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
 
Be the Star You Are!® charity. Every Season is for Giving Make a donation today.

Links you can use for Be the Star You Are!®
Positive Results
About Us 
Programs 
How to Help 
Blog
Events
Contact us

Relationships Made EASY! By Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
7th Wave
Relationships Made EASY! By Ariel & Shya Kane

February 8: Relationships Made EASY! 
It only takes an instant to transform your ability to relate. In this episode of Being Here with award-winning relationship book authors, Ariel & Shya Kane, discover what is at the heart of experiencing magic in all of your relationships, especially the one with yourself.

Listen Live this Wednesday, February 8th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone 
Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device
VoiceAmerica app for Apple
VoiceAmerica app for Android

Cynthia Brian’s Garden Guide for February

Posted by Editor on
0
Empowerment
Cynthia Brian’s Garden Guide for February

seed catalogues

“It is Nature that causes all movement. ”
Veda Vyasa, The Bhagavadgita

The creeks are rushing, hillsides are saturated, lawns are green, and rain is in the forecast for the month. Our H2O dances and prayers resulted in an El Nino winter, much to our delight. People with swimming pools find themselves draining the overflows. If only we as individuals could save all this extra water! I no longer have buckets in my shower nor am I dumping dishwashing water in my potted plants. We are not wasting water in our household, but there is no need to collect every droplet as there was this past autumn as I have nowhere to toss the excess. In fact, I am diligent about making sure my outside container plants are not drowning. What a difference a month makes!

Narcissus, bergenia, and daffodils are already spreading their sweet joy in our slumbering gardens. The cold of this winter will help trigger flower formation in peonies. If you are lucky enough to have a home in the snow country, peonies benefit from a thick blanket of snow. Camellias are blooming and rhododendrons are budding. Loquat and pear trees boast blossoms. Begonias, pansies, and cyclamen add color and texture to our beds. Nature is on the move and we are the beneficiaries.
naval oranges
PICK naval oranges as they are ripening. Twist the orange and when it comes off the limb easily it’s ready to eat. It the orange resists, let it stay on the tree a bit longer.

PROTECT lettuce from aphids naturally by planting alyssum as a border.

GROW pansies, cyclamen, and violets as a winter pick me up and to attract butterflies. Pick the edible flowers to adorn salads and desserts.

SPRINKLE a granular organic fertilizer around fruit trees. The rainy weather will aid with the absorption of the grains.

PROTECT frost tender plants from the cold, especially those in containers. We have at least 45 days more of possible freezes. Frost blankets, canvas, tarps, or cloth sheets will do the trick. Don’t use plastic and be especially diligent with citrus.

DIG a ditch to divert water from rain gutters to your garden. It’s best to line the swale with pebbles, gravel, or rocks to help filter the run off and protect against flooding. These swales look great as dry creeks during the summer months.

HARVEST cabbage, chard, lettuces, arugula, and other greens as needed. Snip the tops of greens to encourage more growth.

PERUSE seed catalogues curled up on the couch with a cup of hot tea on a chilly, rainy day. You’ll get ideas for new plants and learn a bit more about the growing seasons.

PLAN on planting a patch of wildflowers at the end of our rainy season. Wildflowers are easy and rewarding plus they come back year after year.

PRUNE your roses, vines, and berry bushes through mid February.

DESIGN your dream garden while the weather is wet in preparation for April and May planting.

PLAY in the mud. New research shows that when you dig in the soil, beneficial bacteria in the environment repopulate the community of bacteria on your skin boosting your immune system. Get dirty. It’s GOOD for you!

SHOWER your beloved with red roses and baby’s breath for Valentine’s Day.

HIBERNATE. Our gardens are sleeping and so should we. Take time for yourself this February. Rest, relax, rejuvenate, and replenish yourself. Move with Mother Nature.
cycalmen, pansies
NEED  ideas to help you choose the right plants for your garden?
Consider these four selections for four different areas of your yard
Plants for a Shady Area
Hosta
Foxglove
Ajuga
Hydrangea

Plants to Attract Butterflies and Hummingbirds
Coreopsis
Hibiscus
Creeping Phlox
Agastache

Plants that the Deer Don’t Usually Eat
Bleeding Heart
Lavender
Iris
Naked Ladies

Plants for Sunny Areas
Daylily
Sage
Roses
Echinacea
begonia-large
If you want one to one assistance, email me to set up a garden consultation with hourly rates. I’ll help your garden shine this spring.

Sending you love, blessings, and virtual rose bouquets for a warm, romantic Valentine’s celebration.

Happy Gardening! Happy Growing! Happy Love Day!

Read more

©2016
Cynthia Brian
The Goddess Gardener
Starstyle® Productions, llc
Cynthia@GoddessGardener.com
www.GoddessGardener.com
925-377-STAR
Tune into Cynthia’s Radio show at www.StarStyleRadio.com
Garden and plant consultations by appointment.

Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating by Ariel & Shya Kane

Posted by Editor on
0
7th Wave
Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating by Ariel & Shya Kane

matchmadeinheaven

Sometimes Bright and Shiny Isn’t the Best: A Berry Picker’s Guide to Dating
An excerpt from How to Have A Match Made in Heaven: A Transformational Approach to Dating, Relating and Marriage
by Ariel & Shya Kane

I started picking berries for money at the age of 6. My aunt Joyce took me with her to the berry fields to “help out” at her summer job and after a full day of picking strawberries, (many of which made their way into my mouth) I was proud to bring home three shiny dimes for my labors. My mother put them in a place of honor before dinner and I went to bed that night dreaming of all the penny candy I could buy at the little store in town.

All of the local kids I knew picked berries during the summer to make spending money and some to pay for school clothes and supplies in the year ahead. There were many growers around and so we worked the season: First strawberries, then raspberries, a short crop of boysenberries (by far the easiest), marionberries or blackcaps, then blackberries. In fact, picking berries was so common where I grew up that it never occurred to me until after I moved to New York at age 19 that not everyone spent summers in the berry fields.

Each summer, my mom would also make us wonderful deserts featuring local fruit and at the end of the season, one of my favorites was blackberry cobbler. My sisters and I would take large metal bowls and fill them with the wild berries that grew by the roadside or down at the edge of the field on our property and Mom would turn them into something delightful.

Shya and I went to visit my parents for their 60th wedding anniversary this past August, (Congrats to Mom and Dad!) and so we were there during the height of the blackberry season. In order to keep fit, given all of my mother’s excellent meals, Shya and I decided to take a walk on the Springwater Corridor, a 40 mile loop that was created for walking or bike riding following an old trolley right-of-way. This paved walking trail has large cane blackberry bushes that grow in abundance on either side. During our walk I picked a few for Shya and myself and they tasted heavenly. I actually went to bed that night dreaming of taking a large metal bowl and filling it once again for my mom.

A couple days later we again went for a walk and now after additional time in the sun, there were even more of these ripened dark beauties hanging in clusters both high and low. My Aunt Larrita had just brought my folks a whole crate of them so I was relieved of the desire to do any serious picking and could simply focus on finding the ripest, juiciest, yummiest ones to savor – staining our tongues a dark purple.

As I was picking with Shya I realized that his lack of experience had him reaching for those berries that I would never pick. He automatically was drawn to the bright and shiny berries glowing in the sun. They looked perfect. They looked just like the ones you would find in the store: tasty but tart…usually very tart. And so I began to teach him from an old country girl perspective how to spot and pick “black gold.”

First you have to search for those that appear somewhat dull – they were easy to overlook when you had those that were bright and shiny hanging nearby. Then you need to put your thumb and index finger around the one that caught your eye and test for two things: If it was still really firm it wasn’t ripe enough. If the berry resists when you pull, it isn’t ripe enough, either. If you want a berry that will melt in your mouth, tasting of long summer days, warm from the sun, find one that has lost its sheen; a berry that looks almost dusty and lackluster, one that practically falls apart in your hand. And don’t forget to include those tucked away, or hanging down low where people forget to look. They were everywhere. All you needed was to have the eyes to see.

On our last walk, we ate our way down the corridor and fully sated, strolled hand-in-hand as we headed back to the car. It was there, on that sun-kissed stretch that I realized that picking berries is a lot like dating. Often people forget that the commercialized image of the perfect pick has influenced what they are looking for and blinds them to seeing what is really and truly sweet “fruit.” In the magazines, on book covers and in advertisements, the person of your dreams never has a receding hairline or an ounce of extra fat. The picture perfect datable person has perfect teeth, never has bad breath and is a runway model or someone famous. They never get the flu or have challenges at work. They don’t fart and never have salad stuck in their teeth. He or she is never older or younger, of a different ethnic group or religion and they certainly aren’t divorced with kids.

Folks are mesmerized by the bright and shiny people and they miss those around them that are sweeter, fully ripened and ready for picking. They look only at eye level in the picked over branches and time and again those in the dating game reach for only for the sour fruit – for those that are resistant to their advances. But if you look, there are people ripe and ready. They are everywhere. All you need is to have the eyes to see.

=====================

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Love Talk, February Gardening, Art of Having it All

Posted by Editor on
0
Empowerment

brian-2014-StarStyle-empowerment

With Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® Radio brought to the airwaves under the auspices ofBe the Star You Are!® 501 c3 charity.

roses for Valentines- 2

How can you harness Cupid’s arrow to bring more love into your life? Whether it be romantic or familial, we all crave acceptance. In T42 and Health Matters, Heather Brittany and Cynthia Brian investigate the language of love.

One of the most popular ways to show we care is to give those we love flowers. Florists sell more bouquets at Valentine’s than any other time of the year. Depending on what message a person wants to convey, there is a flower and a color that corresponds to the emotion. As we walk the gardens, we’ll discuss floriography.

image001

New York Times Bestselling Author, Creator of the Enlightened Kid Program, Life Coach, Transformational Leader, CEO and founder of Quantum Success Coaching Academy™, Christy Whitman, discusses life, love, and having it all with her newest book, The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance.

image002

Guest Bio: Christy Whitman is a New York Times best-selling author of three books who preaches what she practices. Her forthcoming book, The Art of Having It All: A Woman’s Guide to Unlimited Abundance, brings together the most cutting edge and efficient strategies of deliberate manifestation, refined over a decade of coaching others to lead more successful, abundant, and self-expressed lives.

Listen at VoiceAmerica

Listen at StarStyle Radio with photos and descriptions.

Catch up with all broadcasts on ITunes

Get the Garden Guide

Buy books by Cynthia Brian.
Amazon
The award winning positive talk radio program, StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® broadcasts on the Voice America Empowerment Channel LIVE every Wednesday from 4-5pm Pt/7-8pm ET. Cynthia Brian and Heather Brittany are the Mother/Daughter dynamic duo who have been co-hosting this program live weekly since 1998 bringing upbeat, life enhancing conversation to the world. With Cynthia’s expertise in interviewing the trailblazers, authors, and experts and Heather’s healthy living segments, these Goddess Gals are your personal growth coaches helping you to jumpstart your life while igniting your flame of greatness.
Brought to the airwaves under the auspices of the literacy and positive media charity, Be the Star You Are!®, each program will pump your energy to help you live, love, laugh, learn, and lead.

Tune in the Power Hour every Wednesday from 4-5pm PT/70-8pmET and join our empowerment party.
For photos, descriptions, links, archives, and more, click here.
Get inspired, motivated, and informed with StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!®
Lend us Your Ears!!!
Make a donation today to Be the Star You Are!® charity

Cynthia Brian talks about the empowering outreach programs offered by Be the Star You Are!® charity.

 

 

[embedplusvideo height=”350″ width=”450″ editlink=”http://bit.ly/1wrIN47″ standard=”http://www.youtube.com/v/DHglz05pBvI?fs=1″ vars=”ytid=DHglz05pBvI&width=450&height=350&start=&stop=&rs=w&hd=0&autoplay=0&react=1&chapters=&notes=” id=”ep9605″ /]

 

 

Embed StarStyle® Be the Star You Are!® Radio
If you are a fan of the authors, experts, celebrities, and guests that appear regularly on StarStyle®-Be the Star You Are!® radio, you can now be sure to never miss an episode. Embed this code into your WordPress site or any site and you’ll always have Cynthia Brian, Heather Brittany, and all of your favorite pioneers on the planet at your fingertips. Upbeat, positive, life-changing talk radio broadcasting live each week since 1998. Lend us Your Ears. We are Starstyle®-Be the Star You Are!®

Be the Star You Are!® charity. Every Season is for Giving Make a donation today.

Enjoy this blog? Please spread the word :)

RSS
Follow by Email
Facebook
Google+
https://blog.voiceamerica.com/tag/valentines-day
Twitter