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HOW “THE HONEY BADGER” LEVELED UP TO WIN GOLDEN GLOVES by Dan Hayes and Hemda Mizrahi

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HOW “THE HONEY BADGER” LEVELED UP TO WIN GOLDEN GLOVES by Dan Hayes and Hemda Mizrahi

“I don’t know if you’re going to win, but I know you’ll come out of this a better fighter.” Those were the words of professional boxer Mehdi Abidi to his friend Dan Hayes, just before a Golden Gloves (amateur boxing) tournament. Dan went on to win the tournament and became a top-ranked middleweight boxer representing Trinidad & Tobago.

Unable to participate in the 2016 Olympics in Rio due to a shoulder injury, Dan shares how this remark from Abidi precipitated a turning point in his career.

“Mehdi and I encourage each other before a match. I was consistently the favored fighter, and pre-competition Mehdi would say, “You got this!” So he really opened my perspective when, for the first time, he talked about leading into the fight with the intention to become a better fighter. Don’t get me wrong. I want to win, but in my early years as a competitive athlete, I was only focused on winning, (which made me more vulnerable to fear).”

Showing up to win with the intent to grow freed up Dan to give what he refers to as “100% effort, “ earning him the nick name “The Honey Badger,” in recognition of his fearlessness.  Dan counts mental fortitude and attitude as two of his strongest suits. He talks about the importance of learning to accept failure, knowing that you’ll have the confidence to bounce back.

My conversation with Dan brought to mind the research that guides sports psychologists and coaches in working with athletes. In whichever field you strive to be perform at your best, being aware of the psychological profile and mental skills of successful elite athletes can help you to level up as Dan did.

As presented in the go-to textbook, “Applied Sport Psychology: Personal Growth to Peak Performance” (2015), top performing athletes:

• Have high self confidence and expectations of success, with a positive attitude and thoughts about performance;

• Demonstrate the ability to self-regulate their arousal (to be simultaneously energized and relaxed);

• Feel in control and are able to perform with total concentration, focusing on the present task;

• View difficult situations as exciting and challenging, maintaining a productive perfectionism (high standards                 coupled with the flexibility to learn from mistakes), and a strong determination and commitment.

• Hone these mental skills: goal setting and imagery; developing competitive plans and arousal management                    techniques; and practicing arousal management, attention control, coping, and refocusing skills so that they                become automatic.

Journaling is a core methodology used by athletes to identify the conditions that characterize and facilitate their peak experiences. It’s through this approach that sports professionals chronicle feelings associated with performing at their best, along with what they learned from these moments. They also track:

• Stressors (on and off the field), manifestations of stress (anxiety, anger, frustration, etc.), and the related impact on    their performance;

• What they need from coaches and teammates, and how they can enhance the productivity of these relationships;

• How they can increase their confidence, awareness, and concentration, and what they observe about their                      performance when they improve in these areas;

• How they can train themselves to relax quickly, tuning into parts of the body that tend to hold more tension than        other areas;

• Strategies for focusing, coping in pressure situations, and controlling thoughts (self-talk) and arousal; and

• Mental preparation to get the most out of practice time, including how they can avoid permitting personal                     challenges to affect their play.

Sports journaling involves assessing the strategies that work, and those that don’t, in order to individualize the support systems and resources that offer the most beneficial investment opportunities for the competitor. Learning is as much of a focal point in between practices, as it is during practice and during fight—or game time.

Being led by an intention to grow while showing up to win, as “The Honey Badger” says, requires you to “Fail as much as you can. If you give 100%, you’ll come out better.”  The proof is in his golden gloves.

Hemda Mizrahi is a coach and consultant to high performers like professional athletes, who wish to replicate their peak experiences and continue to serve as role models by exceling as entrepreneurs.

Dan Hayes is currently on his World Championship journey. He fights out of the world famous Wild Card Boxing Club and is launching a boxing fitness and recovery studio in Los Angeles.

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How to Make the Right Decision: Going From Worrier to Warrior in 10 Easy Steps by Hemda Mizrahi & Benson Simmonds

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How to Make the Right Decision: Going From Worrier to Warrior in 10 Easy Steps by Hemda Mizrahi & Benson Simmonds

Benson Simmonds

Award-winning actor, coach, and writer Benson Simmonds joined me on “Turn the Page” to discuss his recently published book, “SOULAR POWER  – Unlocking the Eight Gates to Joy and Abundance,” which reflects his 20 years of study in the dramatic arts, Kabbalah, Eastern Philosophy, and Mysticism. Listen to this episode to access greater meaning, joy, and success in your life.

Benson expanded upon our conversation after the show, by sharing how you can apply the key tactics he offered to the process of making “good” decisions. If you’re generally decisive and find yourself in new waters with an unprecedented anxiety or conflict that’s causing you to feel “stuck,” this approach will help you to move forward with greater peace of mind. If you frequently  have a hard time making decisions, Benson’s “ten steps” will teach you how to choose more quickly, and with greater confidence.

Here’s what he taught me—in his own words:

We’ve all been there – gripped by fear when needing to make an important decision. We’re afraid of making the “wrong” choice, or one that will result in a negative outcome for ourselves or someone else. Whether you’re making business decision, considering whether to leave or stay in a relationship, making choices regarding your health, school, or even what color shoes to buy, the underlying constant is that feeling for fear. When in fear, you are in worrier (ego) mode, as opposed to warrior (soul) mode, that place from which you can tap into the power of your soul. You soul is your untapped brain potential, that part of you that is connected to a divine source of unlimited joy, love and expansion.

What about the old, “make a list of pros and cons, so you can detach emotionally” approach? That strategy removes your emotions instead of inspiring you to use your emotional intelligence, which you actually need to make the best decision.

So what is the key to making a good decision? Shifting out of fear and into love, which is of course an emotional state. Shifting from ego to soul, from worrier to warrior. Here are the 10 simple and profound steps you can take to make your best decision.

STEP ONE
When you are in ego/fear mode the overwhelming message you receive is “lack and limitation.” This message conveys that there is never enough, and that you are not enough. To shift, take a deep breath and say, “I AM ENOUGH. THIS MOMENT IS ENOUGH.” As you do this, you’ll immediately begin to slow down the ego/worrier self and connect with your soul. The overriding message of the soul is “YOU ARE ENOUGH” and “there is always enough,” so you WON’T be limited or losing out regardless of which decision you make.

STEP TWO
Realize that you can choose to tap into something larger than yourself, your soul. By making this choice and stating out loud, “I CHOOSE TO MAKE THIS A SOULAR POWERED DECISION,” you’ll expand past the information that’s available through your ego/fear. Instead, you’ll tap into a power that has a wealth of data beyond the “facts” as you see them. You’ll surpass “black and white thinking,” which limits your choices, to “FULL SPECTRUM THINKING,” which opens you up to new possibilities. Your decision will be informed by the deeper wisdom you’re able to access through this expanded view.

STEP THREE
Ask yourself: “What are five to ten things I LOVE about myself?”  Be sure to state your answers out loud and use “I LOVE…” in every sentence. For example, “I LOVE my sense of humor. I LOVE my intelligence. I LOVE that I’m a survivor. I LOVE that I try to be kind,” etc. By focusing on what you LOVE, you’ll shift out of fear and into love (become a LOVE GENERATOR instead of a LOVE SEEKER), which will help you to make the best decision.

STEP FOUR
Convey GRATITUDE STATEMENTS that express thanks for your shift to “warrior:” “Thank you (God, universe, the divine, higher powers, etc.) for the ease with which I’ve released my need to make the right decision.” By repeating this a few times, you’ll liberate the pressure your ego/worrier side has placed upon you and begin to feel a newfound ease about the decision. Here’s another version of a gratitude statement: “Thank you God (divine, etc.) for the ease which with I’ve made the right decision.”

STEP FIVE
Envision yourself within the PYRAMID OF PROTECTION: Imagine that you’re sitting or standing inside a four-walled, three-dimensional pyramid. There is a wall slanting up to a point above your head on all four sides of you. The floor is the fifth wall. Divine light from above infuses the walls of the pyramid with unconditional love and joy. Feel yourself and the inside of the pyramid becoming enveloped in divine light. From inside the pyramid say, “I am now connected to and protected by the divine.”

STEP SIX
While in the pyramid of protection, say, “EVERY DECISION I MAKE IS NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THE DIVINE.” By repeating this statement within the pyramid, you’ll take even more of the pressure off. You can also say, “EVERYTHING I DO IS NOW FOR THE SAKE OF THE DIVINE.” By doing this, you’ll remind yourself, that it’s not about you; it’s about what you can contribute.

STEP SEVEN
When you make a soular powered decision, you’ll CHOOSE THE OPTION THAT FEELS THE MOST EXPANSIVE. Simply stated, fear contracts and love expands. When you are afraid, your body pulls inward and in that moment, it’s all about you. When you are feeling love, you naturally expand your arms and want to share, celebrate and contribute. Now, take a moment to reflect on your decision. Which choice feels more expansive to you? The more expansive decision is the best one.

STEP EIGHT
ASKING EXPANSIVE QUESTIONS will help you tap into your soular power and make the best decision. Rather than asking negative questions, like “what will happen if I make the wrong decision?,” or “why am I a loser?,” ask EMPOWERING questions, like: “HOW CAN I EXPERIENCE MORE JOY WHILE MAKING THIS DECISION?,” and “WHY AM I A WINNER REGARDLESS OF THE DECISION I MAKE?” Your brain is a super computer and it will provide you with an answer to any question you ask. Most of us are unaware of the questions we are asking ourselves subconsciously. By asking yourself specific expansive questions, you’ll receive answers that will inspire you to make the best choice.

STEP NINE
BLESS FIVE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE. Think of the person and say “blessings to your for health, happiness, abundance, etc.” Even if the decision is about leaving a boss or relationship, send that boss or current spouse/lover blessings. This will very quickly shift you out of fear and into love, opening up your divine channel of joy, love and expansion even more.

STEP TEN
When making your decision, eliminate the need to “be good.” Trying to “be good” can lure you into a decision that is based on self-sacrifice or martyrdom, which your ego convinces you is “noble.” This leaves you stuck in worrier mode. Instead, SEE GOOD, the good in yourself and that of others. A true soular powered decision is a WIN-WIN for all parties involved.

In applying these 10 steps, you’ll make the “best” decision and ENJOY the process of choosing. You’ll feel more joyous and loving, which will contribute to even better decisions as you move through your day.

Benson shares blessings for you to “embrace your soular power and open your heart to feel and attract more joy, love and abundance in every moment.”

His book, “SOULAR POWER – Unlocking the Eight Gates of Joy and Abundance” is available on Amazon. You can reach him at soularpowerbook@gmail.com if you’d like to find out more about his spiritual and business coaching services.

Whether or not you see yourself as a “spiritual” person, you’ll gain a practical approach to improving results in every aspect of your life by listening to our conversation.

We invite you to “pay it forward” and expand your fortune by sharing the link to the episode and blog post with your on and off-line communities.

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