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Grandma’s Purse

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Empowerment
Grandma’s Purse

Grandma’s Purse

“Grandma’s Purse” is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Day Enlightenment, Ariel and Shya Kane

Listen to this chapter from the audiobook version of Being Here…Too

I grew up in Gresham, Oregon. At the time, it was a sleepy farming community where the children had summer jobs picking berries and went for ice cream floats at Rexall Drugstore with the money they earned. Our house was a two-story white structure on the edge of the woods with a separate garage and a little playhouse that was perfect for my sisters, Cathy and Mary, and me.

On the top floor of our house, under the eaves off Cathy’s bedroom, was an attic space where my folks stored Christmas decorations, luggage, and things that were out of season. One of the treasures in the attic was my Grandmother’s purse.

Ila May Powell, my mother’s mother, had died a year before I was born. She was born in 1906 and lived much of her life near Portland, Oregon, until her death in 1957. After she and my Grandpa, Larry Halif Cermack, eloped, she went on to have eight kids. My mom was the eldest.

One day when I was young, my sisters and I were playing in the attic when we came across Grandma’s purse. It was black with a single strap and a simple gold clasp at the top. We brought it out to Cathy’s bedroom, climbed up on her bed, sat cross-legged facing each other and carefully removed the contents, one piece at a time. Inside was a comb, a crochet hook, a clean white hanky with tatted lace that Grandma had made herself, a coin purse with a few coins, a pencil, and a small, handwritten, shopping list: Butter, eggs, coffee, milk.

Being Here…Too, Short Stories of Modern Day EnlightenmentWe marveled at the writing. It was wonderful to see something Grandma had held in her hands that she’d actually written. All these years later I remember that list. And I also remember something else. Grandma had things left to do on the day that she died. I’ve always been touched by that fact. She had a full life. She did many things. And yet apparently she still had things left to be done. That she didn’t do them didn’t make her life incomplete and she didn’t fail in any way. Somehow the fact that she still had a grocery list when she died allows me to be relaxed about my desire to get things finished or over with.

It’s so easy during our lives to press to get everything done. Most people feel pressured to complete everything on their list by the end of the day. Many feel that they have failed if there are tasks yet to be accomplished, goals yet to be achieved. But I’ve come to realize that I am likely to always have a list. It’s a component of being alive. So at the end of each day, I can put it away and let myself be. If I’m taking a day off or going on vacation, I can let go of that list. It will still be there when I return. “Finishing” something, completing my list of “to dos,” crossing that finish line is not a final destination. It’s simply a part of daily living – a part of living my life.

This is an excerpt from Being Here…Too, now available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, podcast/radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here podcast or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Being Here…Too, is available on Amazon.comBarnesandNoble.com and everywhere books are sold.

Books by Ariel & Shya Kane

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

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Empowerment
Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

By Ariel & Shya Kane

Transformational Time & Project Management Tips

We have a client who asked us how she can improve her relationship with time and accomplish the things she wants to do in her life – work, projects in her apartment, errands and creative projects, as well as socializing – without feeling that she is wasting or running out of time. These are five suggestions we offered that supported her, and will support you, in easily and effortlessly managing your time and being effective and productive in your life.

1. There is time for everything that needs to be done…and there will always be things left to do.

What are you devoting your time to each day? We bet you think about what you want to do and whether or not you like the tasks at hand. Hint: Thinking about whether you want to do something or not is just a waste of time. Thinking about whether you like it or not is also a waste of time. Many people drag their feet going about what they are going to do anyway and then get no satisfaction from the activities they engage in as a result. A whole-hearted engagement in whatever you are doing will bring with it satisfaction as a by-product. And at the end of the day, there will always be more to do than can be done. We are often delighted by what we accomplish in a day and respectful of the fact that “tomorrow is another day” and that we will be rested and rejuvenated to begin again.

2. Honesty is key.

If you actually want to take control of your relationship with time, don’t tell yourself that you are going to do something that you have no intention of doing. There are things that you don’t want to do that you tell yourself that you “should” do. There are also things that you pretend to want to do that you don’t actually plan on doing or want to do at all.

For example, many times people have the idea that they would be better if…they lose weight, balance their checkbooks, exercise more, do creative things, etc. But that doesn’t mean that they are actually going to do any of those things. This list is simply something held in reserve so that you never give yourself a break and as a constant reminder that you need to change or fix something about yourself. This list is comprised of things that are not actually “in the works,” they are things that you are resisting doing – and by now anyone who is familiar with our approach knows that: What you resist persists, grows stronger, takes longer (or never gets done) and dominates your life. As an alternative, try this:

When you are hanging out – do that.
When you are doing a project – do that.

If you want to have control in your life, then do what you are doing in the current moment, rather than think about what you ought to be doing. Otherwise there is no actual rest because when you are doing nothing you think you should be doing something. If you actually rest then you are likely to find yourself energized to do things rather than talking to yourself about doing them.

3. Procrastination is a sophisticated word for “no”.
Don’t fix it – pay attention.

There is a false idea about independence that was formed in most of our minds around age two when we realized that we could disagree or say “no.” According to this immature notion we think that we are being independent by saying no to anything we are asked to do. In fact, for many of us, we registered in our undeveloped minds that we were powerful, got attention and had the world chasing us around, by doing the opposite of what was asked for and “Poof,” a life strategy is born. Over time we sophisticate this “no” to requests made of us and then when we say no to our own desires, we call it “procrastination”.

You don’t have to make a resolution to stop procrastinating – simply bring awareness to how often you say “no” to yourself and to all of the requests made upon you by life. When your bed is unmade, for instance, it is as if there is a request for you to make it, or to do the dishes, or answer the phone. Become aware of the resistance, hesitation, “don’t wannas” and see how often this is a part of your daily internal conversation. “No” is not a bad thing. It just is. With awareness (a non-judgmental seeing or noticing of how you operate) you can see what YOU want to do rather than be dictated by the life strategy of a two-year-old.

4. What is your current way of relating to time saving you from?

Often “problems” are solutions in disguise. Procrastination may actually be saving you from something you consider confronting or acting as a buffer between you and possible rejection, for instance. For example, you may say that you want more time to “socialize.” It is possible that the endless list of to-dos can keep you from having to get up online on a dating site or get out there and date. Or perhaps you have a creative project on your desk. Then day-to-day minutia that seems to eat your time each day can save you from having to get started. Right now, your incompletions define your life. If you lost them, you wouldn’t know who you are. Your comfort zone INCLUDES all of the things that you find uncomfortable. If you had no problems, nothing wrong, nothing that is holding you back…hmmm…then what?

5. Start small… and keep going.

You don’t have to look far to shift from a conversation about your life to living it in real time. Just lift your eyes from this article and look around. We bet you will see something to be done or something that begs for attention. You don’t have to do something big, start small: Bring a cup to the sink, dust a surface, make that call, file that item…and then keep going. Direct action, direct result. No problem. Complete those things in your life that are incomplete such as projects or organizing your closet. A simple way to approach many things is to repair or get rid of anything that is broken or have it fixed. Stop putting off what you know you are going to do anyway – like Nike says – Just do it!

Join Ariel & Shya for Transformational Time & Project Management in NYC

Dates: Saturday & Sunday, April 28 & 29, 2018
Time: 9:45am – 6pm both days
Fee: $649 (partial scholarships available)
Location: Skyline Hotel, 725 Tenth Ave. at 49th Street, Penthouse Ballroom, NYC

REGISTER

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UKGermany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books.  Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Harmonizing Work & Motherhood: Can We Afford Not To? By Dr. Kas Henry

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Empowerment
Harmonizing Work & Motherhood:  Can We Afford Not To? By Dr. Kas Henry

Harmonizing Work & Motherhood:  Can We Afford Not To?

 

Women are an integral part of the global work place.  They are parallel thinking multi-taskers alongside their sequential thinking male individual taskers. Men and women solve problems differently and women are more prone to natural collaboration and seeking assistance.  A good balance of both male and female perspectives to ideas and solutions are needed for business success and the brain function studies seem to affirm that much needed gender balance.

 

Research shows that

  • Fortune 500 Firms with women Board members outperform their peers by 53% greater ROE
  • Women make up half of the U.S. workforce and comprise $5 trillion in purchasing power
  • Women make up a majority of the single parent households with children in the US
  • 80% of all US healthcare decisions are made by women
  • 70% of all major financial decisions in the US households are made by women

 

 

 

Women are daughters, mothers and wives.  As such they are the care givers of their families. They are required to juggle work, family, social obligations and taking care of themselves.  Women are considered “stay at home” and “not working” when they are not employed for wages but expend energy working for the family from morning till night for no pay.  When women work for wages, they take on a second job, a job outside of the home.  This job may not pay equal wages for equal work when a male and a female perform that same job, even in developed first world nations like the US.  In a system like the US, women are actuarially valued to be higher risk for healthcare as those naturally endowed to give birth.  So, we create a perfect storm, placing women to juggle work, life, family while making lower wages and paying higher insurance alongside making majority of the financial decisions and carrying a greater financial burden.

 

 

 

Other nations like Canada places high value in motherhood and gives mothers time off to care for their new born and support the family.  Those countries value early mother-child bonding and strong family as a foundation for building a stronger society that is socially engineered for lasting and prospering.

 

 

 

 

Then there are other nations across the world, like India, that cannot even assure the safety of the woman in the workplace where women could be sexually assaulted by her co-workers.

 

This is the spectrum of women in the workplace in our global economic environment.

 

No doubt, women have come a long way in the workplace, but there is more to be done and much continue to remain a conundrum. Women not staying in the workforce and leaving to raise families while be unemployed or under employed is not healthy for business or society.  Attracting, developing and retaining women in the workforce is important for the organizational succession plan.

 

How do we support women in the workplace?  How public policy, employers, co-workers, families and society as a whole come together to create harmony of work-life-family where women can bring their best to each situation is of utmost importance today, then ever.  Because, today we have a female workforce that is more educated than their male counterparts and we have more families with single mothers across the world.  How we support working women is the foundation for how we are preparing to groom our future generations being raised by these women.  

 

As the millennial generation and Gen Zs come of age, we are also seeing more men comfortable with the stay at home role as women with their better education become the primary bread winners.  The approach to dealing with the Women in the workplace will also need to be applied to the gender reversal we see emerging. Please join me and my guests, Allison Robinson and Christine Coyle of The Mom Project, to explore how best to harness the value of women and mothers in the workplace and continue to build that into the optimal approach for supporting families.

Being Stress-Free is Simple By Ariel & Shya Kane

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Being Stress-Free is Simple By Ariel & Shya Kane

Being Stress-Free is Simple, an excerpt from Practical Enlightenment
By Ariel & Shya Kane

People are born into cultures that have stress as an expected component to the gestalt of the culture itself, so it is part of their cultural download. While many people do things to reduce stress, such as yoga, meditation or exercise, most of them never stop to take a look at the mechanics of how it is produced. For those who do question what produces stress, the answer they come up with is usually inaccurate as it points to circumstances outside of oneself as the cause.

Experiencing stress in day-to-day life is not caused by circumstances. Stress happens when you say “no” to what is happening in your current circumstances. For instance, if you are in the midst of doing something and the phone rings and you think of it as an interruption or intrusion, you will immediately feel stressed. Stress also comes from the need to be right that things should be different than they are. In the previous example, you are right that the phone shouldn’t be ringing and that the caller is disturbing you. Stress happens when you think the moment isn’t perfect as it is. It happens when you are trying to get somewhere rather than be where you are, as if getting somewhere is better than being here. It happens when you manipulate the circumstances to get what you think you want. Stress also happens when you are not being honest about something – when you are doing things that are outside of your own integrity.

There are three simple ideas that are a great support structure, that allow you to re-center yourself when you find yourself stressed or when life seems to be operating against you. We call them The three Principles of Instantaneous Transformation. Why we call them “instantaneous” is that in the moment you identify where you are without judging yourself, you are already back centered – in an instant. It doesn’t take time. It takes the willingness to discover where you are and how you are being, while giving up being right about what got you there. It takes giving up blaming yourself or others. The three principles are great tools that allow you to regain your equilibrium when you find yourself stressed.
Let’s define these three principles and talk about them in relationship to stress.

The First Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
What you resist persists and grows stronger.

Resisting a situation is like exercising a muscle because resistance makes a muscle stronger. It also makes unwanted situations, emotions, or conditions stronger. In effect, the act of resisting something keeps it in place. When you resist something you have to push against it. And when you push against it, you get stuck to it so you can’t let it go. Not wanting something to be the way it is, wishing things were different, trying to “get over” something, are all forms of resistance. They are also versions of saying No to the way your life is unfolding.

The Second Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
No two things can occupy the same you at the same time.

When you are focused on something, everything else falls away. For example, we were once walking down a hill when we came upon a thorny rose bush that extended over the sidewalk. We paid attention as we walked past it so we wouldn’t get snagged. On our return trip up the hill, we noticed that on the road, right in front of that rose bush was a large truck with a horse trailer attached. We hadn’t noticed it on the way down the hill and by the amount of pollen that had gathered on the windshield, it was clear that it had been parked there for some time. Earlier, when we were consumed with the bush, we didn’t see the truck and trailer even though it was so close we could have reached out and touched it. And so it is with stress. Sometimes people are so consumed with stressors, they miss the rest of the world even though it is within reach.

The Third Principle of Instantaneous Transformation:
Anything you allow to be, allows you to be.

Let’s go back to the first principle: Anything you resist persists and grows stronger. If you remove your focus from what you don’t like, don’t want or wish to be different and bring your attention neutrally back to what’s in front of you, in that instant you’re free. Stress-free. Yup, it’s that simple. If you want to be “right” about someone else being “wrong,” then guess what? You get stress, stress and more stress and in truth, you are stressing yourself. Being stress-free is as simple as being where you are without disagreeing with your life circumstances, or saying “no” when life does not meet your preferences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

More Here!

Having Work-Life Balance By Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Having Work-Life Balance By Ariel & Shya Kane

March 8: Having Work-Life Balance

What if having work-life balance is not a product of efficiently allotting your time but a natural state that happens when you are skilled at Being Here? Join Ariel and Shya and discover how to truly work when you work, play when you play and enjoy the experience wherever you are.

Listen Live this Wednesday, March 8th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 500 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone 
Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device 
VoiceAmerica app for Apple
VoiceAmerica app for Android

Dare to Be Unimportant By Ariel & Shya Kane

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7th Wave
Dare to Be Unimportant By Ariel & Shya Kane

November 9: Dare to Be Unimportant

Ever feel lost if you aren’t connected on social media, immersed in a project, or involved in making a difference somehow? Want to unplug, unwind and let go…without having to be in ill health to justify it? Join the Kanes in Being Here and dare to be unimportant…perhaps even useless, if only for an hour. You may just find it habit forming in the most delightful of ways. Callers welcome at Tel# 1-866-472-5795!

Listen Live this Wednesday, November 9th at 9am PST / 12pm EST on the VoiceAmerica 7th Wave Channel.

After this Wednesday, you can stream or download this episode and over 400 episodes on a wide variety of topics from our archives here.

You can also listen to Being Here on the go! Stream or download new and archived episodes to your smart phone or mobile device with these applications:
Podcasts app for iPhone 

Stitcher Podcast app for Any Device 

VoiceAmerica app for Ap

 – VoiceAmerica app for Android

 

Grandma’s Pocketbook by Ariel Kane

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7th Wave
Grandma’s Pocketbook by Ariel Kane

pink peony

Grandma’s Pocketbook
by Ariel Kane

I grew up in Gresham, Oregon, which at the time was a rather sleepy farming community where the children picked berries as a summer job and went to Rexall Drug store for ice cream floats with the money they earned. Our house was a two story white structure on the edge of the woods with a separate garage and a little playhouse that was perfect for my sisters and me.

On the top floor of our house, off my sister Cathy’s bedroom, under the eaves was an attic space where my folks stored Christmas decorations, luggage and things that were out of season. One of the treasures that was kept in the attic was my Grandmother’s purse. Grandma, my mother’s mother, had died long before I was born. Ila May Powell was born in 1906 and lived much of her life near Portland, Oregon until her death in 1957. She had met my Grandpa, Larry Halif Cermack, and after they eloped she eventually went on to have 8 Kids – my mom being the oldest.

One day when I was young, I remember that my sisters and I were playing in the attic and we came across Grandma’s pocketbook. It was black with a single strap and had a simple gold clasp at the top. We carried it out to Cathy’s bedroom, climbed up on her bed, sat cross-legged facing each other and we carefully removed the contents one piece at a time. Inside was a comb, a crochet hook, a clean white hanky with tatted lace that she had made herself, a coin purse with a few coins, a pencil and a small, handwritten, shopping list: Butter, eggs, coffee, milk.

Gingerly we removed the list and marveled at the writing thereon. It was wonderful to see something Grandma had held in her hand that she had actually written. All these years later I remember that list. And I also remember something else: Grandma had things left to do on the day that she had died. I have always been touched by that fact in ways that are hard to describe. She had a full life. She did many things. And yet she apparently had things left to be done. The reality that she didn’t do these things didn’t make her life incomplete, nor did she fail in any way. Somehow the fact that she still had a grocery list on the day that she died has allowed me to be relaxed about the desire to get things finished or over with.

It is so easy during our lives to press to get everything done. Most people feel pressured to complete everything on their list by end of day. Many feel that they have failed if there are tasks yet to be accomplished, goals yet to be achieved. But for me, I have come to realize that no matter what my age, no matter what my health, no matter what the circumstances, I am likely to always have a list. It is a component to being alive. So at the end of each day, I can put away my list and let myself be. If I am taking a day off or going on vacation, I can let go of that list, for it will be there when I return. “Finishing” something, completing my list of “to dos,” crossing that finish line is not a final destination. Having a list of projects and “to dos” is simply a part of living life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Since 1987, internationally acclaimed authors, seminar leaders, radio show hosts and business consultants Ariel and Shya Kane have acted as guides, leading people through the swamp of the mind into the clarity and brilliance of the moment. Find out more about the Kanes, their seminars in NYC, in the UK, Germany and Costa Rica, the Say YES to Your Life! Meetups their work has inspired, their Being Here radio show or join their email newsletter. Also get information about their four award-winning books. Their newest book, Practical Enlightenment, is now available on Amazon.com.

Presenting Powerfully

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Business
Presenting Powerfully

Debbie Lundberg

Rick A. Morris interviews Debbie Lundberg, author of 9 books and the Principal of Presenting Powerfully.  They will be discussing key skills in presenting yourself powerfully.  This will not be a discussion about making presentations, rather this is about how each aspect of us: our style, our language, our approach, and our expressions are what becomes our “package” or our presentation of self each day.  We sometimes forget that other’s impressions of us do not start when we see them, rather it begins when they see us…via email, social media, in a meeting or one-on-one…even in a parking lot.  Have some fun with how presentation is perceived and think about ways to increase and optimize your overall impact and brand…and leave armed with ideas, actions, and even attitudinal tools for making the “right” presentation for being remembered well!

Tune in every Friday at 2pm PST to The Work/Life Balance

The Social Project Manager

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Business
The Social Project Manager

Peter Taylor

Rick A. Morris interviews Peter Taylor about his latest book – The Social Project Manager (Balancing Collaboration with Centralised Control in a Project Driven World)
Social project management is a non-traditional way of organising projects and managing project performance and progress aimed at delivering, at the enterprise level, a common goal for the business but harnessing the performance advantages of a collaborative community.  Peter is known for his humorous and direct delivery style and has entertained audiences around the world.  An author of several best-selling books, please join Rick and Peter on what will no doubt be one of the most entertaining hours you can spend learning about project management.

Tune in every Friday at 2pm PST to The Work/Life Balance

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