Today’s silver lining story is about anger. Some of you may be puzzled by that statement. I urge you to stay with me and listen closely. Those of you who have been listening on a regular basis know that Iâve been working on healing some indigestion that goes away and then re-emerges as I reach deeper levels of healing. Just before my acupuncture session on Tuesday, I got a reminder call about a dental appointment, which was an hour earlier than I had written down. This triggered some deep anger because the appointment was for a redo on a crown. Although there was no additional charge to me, it did cost me time, energy and emotional strain when my reserves were low.
The synchronicity of the reminder call was the first silver lining because it led me to ask my acupuncturist if the indigestion was related to anger. His response was a strong yes. Previously he had said that it was caused by childhood stress, but anger was a lot more specific. Having grown up with abuse, I had a lot of suppressed anxiety and anger. As a child, there was no safe way to express those feelings, so I ignored them. I continued this pattern into adulthood. By then I had convinced myself that I was a good person if I kept quiet, forgave others, looked for the good in them and didnât hurt their feelings. This kind of thinking and behavior was affecting my health. When Dr. Chen inserted his needles, I felt the pain as the needles gave the negative energies of anxiety and anger a way to leave my body. People often ask if acupuncture hurts. The truth is that the pain is already in my body. If it doesnât have a way to escape, it will continue to cause pain and dis-ease in my body. Iâd rather feel the momentary pain of the release than have ongoing damage happening under the surface.
Later that afternoon, I went to my nutritional chiropractor to get some supplements to help me with the detoxing. When he asked how I was, I said angry and it felt awful. His response was my second silver lining. He said how refreshing it was for someone to tell the truth and not just say âfineâ. It prompted him to share something he was going through, which led to us agreeing that honesty opened the door to authentic human connection and compassion. It was confirmation that being real allows others to be real and receive support. We donât have to wear the false masks that we think we do.
I was working hard to let go of this anger. I used many of the techniques I teach: I prayed to my guides and angels, I breathed in blue light, I meditated, I put my negative thoughts into the violet light above my head. Still I had trouble sleeping and finding peace. When I was at my appointment, I found myself telling the receptionist, Iâm upset and have to talk with the dentist. With genuine kindness, she offered water. By the time I saw the dentist, my anger was subsiding because I was empowering myself to say what was bothering me. The gift of that awareness was another silver lining. I knew the redo was not caused by negligence. He really is a very fine dentist. In fact everyone in his office is highly competent and exceedingly easy to work with. That didnât change the fact that I was being inconvenienced in this process and that dentistry holds far too many negative memories for me. Next week, I might have responded with total peace in the same situation or a similar one, but today because of where I am in my healing, it was important for me to speak up. The next silver lining really surprised me. He listened with complete openness. Feeling his kindness and compassion, created an amazing healing within me. I felt years of anger draining from my body. Then I felt the sadness underneath the anger. That, too, moved out as the day went on, making room for joy and peace.
With what is going on in the world right now, I wanted to share this piece that I wrote after a mass shooting in 1999.
And when I turned around, I felt like screaming. Surely the world has gone mad. No one is safe anymore. I felt this uncontrollable rage at the injustice, the randomness. I turned around, and I wanted to scream at you. Yet you have done nothing to deserve my anger. You are just here, and the shooter is dead along with his victims.
Truthâstranger than fiction. I couldnât possibly write a story to rival the one that unfolded tonight. Nothing could be more bizarre, more surreal. The heart and head of this country are disconnected and disheartened bodies are leading us down some path of doom.
I turned around and saw blood everywhere. Violence is rampant. No one is safe. No place is safe. I am afraid to go out but home is no safer. Locks canât keep the rage, the fear, the violence at bay.
I turned around and I wanted to grab my children, my husband and run. But there is nowhere to run. There is no place to hide.
I turned around and felt God watching.
I turned around and saw no end to this. I turned around and saw more and more mass destruction. I turned around and wondered how much more can we bearâindividually, collectively. I turned around and wondered when would we implode?
Then I turned around once more and saw green pastures, children laughing, playing, spinningâtotally oblivious to the cruelty and insanity in the worldâor maybe they know something we have forgotten.
I turned around, and I saw hope.
The loss of a child can send some people into a downward spiral. Mark Ireland used the loss of his son to find his truth path in life, discover proof of the afterlife and help other parents heal from deep grief. He does this through psychic-mediumship and his organization, www.helpingparentsheal.info. Even the most unthinkable experience can be used to provide hope and healing.
How are you going to use your life experiences to find hope and healing?